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Class of September 2015 Part 2

Old 09-18-2015, 05:46 AM
  # 321 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Rar View Post
Did anyone watch "Breaking Bad"?
Loved it. Takes a couple of episodes to adjust to it but it is amazing. I was so bummed when I finished it. There's a prequal to it airing now called 'Better call Saul' or something like that. Can't wait until its on Netflix. Another great one is Sons of Anarchy.
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Old 09-18-2015, 05:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Rio97 View Post
Well I went for a walk, and even jogged some. I've heard doctors say exercise is the best anti-depressant out there. I think there's some truth to it. Funny how it's hard to make yourself go.

I find myself both drawn to and repulsed by drinking at the same time. I've been down that road so many times, I'm fully aware of where it leads. But early sobriety has its ups and downs, no doubt. I'll just be glad in the morning to not have a hangover.
Hi Rio
I don't have clinical depression but do have situational sadness. And I believe the havoc I have wreaked on my neurological system has created temporary depression. Exercise definitely helps. Do it regularly and you will crave the endorphan rush.
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Old 09-18-2015, 05:56 AM
  # 323 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by JL2014 View Post
Parts of dexter get stupid, other parts develop though. GOOD ones. I about dropped it in the middle as well.
I watched two episodes last night and they were ok. I get so tired of Rita....ugh.
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Old 09-18-2015, 05:57 AM
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Originally Posted by JL2014 View Post
Day 5 .
This is when I usually crash and burn. I'm rattling like a fire alarm today
Do you have a plan for dealing with your mood?
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Old 09-18-2015, 06:08 AM
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Friday! Yay, boo, whatever. Just another day. Gonna do yoga (broken record there). Now that's its getting cooler the 105-108 degree room feels good. My back isn't hurting too much today so that's good. Getting my hair done at 12...that's always a fun thing. Then I'm kind of open...daughter is with dad although she's sick and usually wants to come back to me. We'll see. There's a street fair thing in our city tonight that I might swing by. I know I won't drink, but being alone is kind of pathetic. I know enough people that I'm sure I'll run into someone...'oh just here alone'...I would normally be with my bf. Ugh. Loner. I know people but not well enough to have friends. I'm so on the fence about true friendships. Most of the time I find people somewhat irritating. That's weird isn't it? I always feel like I have to hide.

Reservations. I was thinking about those this morning. Those nagging little 'things' in my brain. The trap doors. The 'maybe' I'll drink at some later date. Often I don't really know they are there. But I know they are. They are the absolute reason and cause of relapse for me. Nothing, no situation (no matter how bad), no person can make me drink. And nothing is worth drinking over. Think about it. Something happens that requires me to be present, or at least mindful, and I'm tempted to do the one thing that is guaranteed to make a bad situation worse. Seriously? Two things are so important for disarming reservations. 1. Understanding and accepting that I can only control me and my reactions. 2. Total acceptance of me exactly as I am in that moment. I don't need to be anything or anyone other than exactly who I am....sober.
I cannot ever drink again. It is off the table. Have a great Friday guys!
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Old 09-18-2015, 06:22 AM
  # 326 (permalink)  
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Frick,
I used to think drinking would make me feel better..No. It only ended up amplifying whatever was wrong and then boy were you ever in for it. If I ever got upset while drinking we will talk about something that happened 10 years ago and how I am still pissed off at you over it. So unfair to never let anyone get past it. How many mean things I have said over the years to people I love. Hence why I have taped at my work desk "Look back, but don't stare".
I thought of something I have read this morning...acceptance. This means accepting the fact that no matter how much I wish I could drink like a normal person or drink in moderation or drink in general, I just Can't. There's the fact, Can't. Not going to happen. So when I say I have accepted I am powerless over alcohol, even 2 months later, I may just now have "got it". I haven't just stopped drinking, I have finally gotten that I have "accepted" it. It's my future.
Anyway, happy day to you and thanks for letting me rattle on! Keep on keeping on class of September!
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Old 09-18-2015, 06:35 AM
  # 327 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Frickaflip233 View Post
Loved it. Takes a couple of episodes to adjust to it but it is amazing. I was so bummed when I finished it. There's a prequal to it airing now called 'Better call Saul' or something like that. Can't wait until its on Netflix. Another great one is Sons of Anarchy.
I watched the pilot to Better Cal Saul and did not like it. I just finished the pilot to "Six Feet Under" and so far, can't get into it. I'll watch another episode to make sure.
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Old 09-18-2015, 06:41 AM
  # 328 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by KeyofC View Post
Frick,
I used to think drinking would make me feel better..No. It only ended up amplifying whatever was wrong and then boy were you ever in for it. If I ever got upset while drinking we will talk about something that happened 10 years ago and how I am still pissed off at you over it. So unfair to never let anyone get past it. How many mean things I have said over the years to people I love. Hence why I have taped at my work desk "Look back, but don't stare".
I thought of something I have read this morning...acceptance. This means accepting the fact that no matter how much I wish I could drink like a normal person or drink in moderation or drink in general, I just Can't. There's the fact, Can't. Not going to happen. So when I say I have accepted I am powerless over alcohol, even 2 months later, I may just now have "got it". I haven't just stopped drinking, I have finally gotten that I have "accepted" it. It's my future.
Anyway, happy day to you and thanks for letting me rattle on! Keep on keeping on class of September!
I was thinking along these same lines last night as I was getting into bed. Last year I was extremely bummed that I was diagnosed with diabetes - no more pasta, no more potatoes, french fries, etc. But while I occasionally am still bummed, I am reconciled to the fact that I have this disease and I can never eat lots of those things again. I just can't. It's the way it is. I finally realized last night, it's the same way with alcohol. I have this disease and it's the way it is. I may be bummed on some days, but it is what it is. Acceptance.
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Old 09-18-2015, 07:28 AM
  # 329 (permalink)  
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Day 4 sucks. A lot. I need something to look forward to. It used to be wine, now it's...? Not dying a horrible death is a good thing of course lol but I'm really craving drink today. We cant afford any though so at least it isn't accessible to me right now.
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Old 09-18-2015, 07:47 AM
  # 330 (permalink)  
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Good morning everyone!

KeyofC, "look back but don't stare." I love that!
Fricka, also love that imagine of trapdoors. That is exactly how I would describe my relapses too.
Scared, is there something that you can plan for yourself tonight to look forward too? Even if it is a nice walk or just relaxing? Day 4 is hard , I know

Happy to report that I did--finally--sleep like a dream last night. AND I slept in.
I just realized, too, that I'm in double digits like you Rar--day 10!

I hope all of you have a great day!
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Old 09-18-2015, 07:58 AM
  # 331 (permalink)  
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Any Losties

(Lost tv show)
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Old 09-18-2015, 08:05 AM
  # 332 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by scaredikklegoth View Post
Day 4 sucks. A lot. I need something to look forward to. It used to be wine, now it's...? Not dying a horrible death is a good thing of course lol but I'm really craving drink today. We cant afford any though so at least it isn't accessible to me right now.
I'm sorry...but I had to chuckle there. I love you're straight-to-the-point post.

Needing something to look forward to is a biotch. As logical as it may sound, looking forward to an addiction free, healthy, productive, happy life is just not enough at times.

There's the right now to deal with and that's probably behind your feelings. I found it helpful to have a short list of things to do when I was bored or disappointed that I couldn't have the fun that I was used to having.

Right now may not be the best time to make a good solid list, but maybe you can come up with a couple. My favorite thing on my list became calling family and friends. I hardly ever talked to them in the past. I would call my grand mom, cousins, aunts, just to say hi. It was truly a blessing for me. It was so nice to hear how surprised they were to hear from me.

The trick though was to steer the topic away from me. They'd ask how I was doing and such and all I wanted to say was "super depressed, about to completely self destruct." But it was easy enough to say "Good. Man, I miss the good ol days though. Do you remember....." There was a few of em that I could talk with about my depression, my regrets, and my decision to put all that to an end.

And here's really good news for ya. You're closer to realizing the addiction free, healthy, productive, happy life than you think!

Recovery is like a curve. It gets worse and worse at first. In different ways. Each part of it has its own curve on its own timeline. I guess physical vs emotional. For me, the physical curve was the shortest but also had the most drastic changes.

When you're at the peak, that's when it's most important to ride it through. Any way you can. You gotta pay to play. Once you break through those toughest moments, it will never be as hard again. And there's a lot more joy and gratitude after the peak of that curve than before. That's when doubt starts to fade and confidence builds. There just comes a point shortly after when you say "I CAN ABSOLUTELY DO THIS!"
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Old 09-18-2015, 08:06 AM
  # 333 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by soberwolf View Post
Any Losties (Lost tv show)
Oh man SW. We PM'd this before. But I have been completely lost ever since that show ended. That was the best series I have ever seen.
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Old 09-18-2015, 08:17 AM
  # 334 (permalink)  
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If you haven't seen HALT before, here you go.
It really does help.

Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired

This tried and true slogan helps us to stay in touch with our feelings and needs. Sometimes the onset of anxiety or a sudden drop in mood can be traced to our having forgotten to eat so our blood sugar levels are off kilter. Sometimes we may be carrying a resentment, or feeling lonely, or we are just too tired. Taking a little time out from our busy day to ask ourselves if we are feeling too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, gets us in touch with our feelings. When we know what we are feeling we can make choices and take the appropriate action toget our needs for food, companionship, or rest, met.

Being too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, are conditions that leave us more vulnerable to the temptations that lead us away from our program of dual recovery. Part of recovery is learning to pay attention to these inner signals and practice appropriate ways to meet our needs and resolve issues in a manner that will enhance our abstinence and serenity.
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Old 09-18-2015, 08:28 AM
  # 335 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by soberwolf View Post
Any Losties

(Lost tv show)
What is a lost TV show?
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Old 09-18-2015, 08:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Incontrol15 View Post
If you haven't seen HALT before, here you go.
It really does help.

Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired

This tried and true slogan helps us to stay in touch with our feelings and needs. Sometimes the onset of anxiety or a sudden drop in mood can be traced to our having forgotten to eat so our blood sugar levels are off kilter. Sometimes we may be carrying a resentment, or feeling lonely, or we are just too tired. Taking a little time out from our busy day to ask ourselves if we are feeling too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired, gets us in touch with our feelings. When we know what we are feeling we can make choices and take the appropriate action toget our needs for food, companionship, or rest, met.

Being too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, are conditions that leave us more vulnerable to the temptations that lead us away from our program of dual recovery. Part of recovery is learning to pay attention to these inner signals and practice appropriate ways to meet our needs and resolve issues in a manner that will enhance our abstinence and serenity.
This is something I really need to work on. I was working on the physical stuff and neglected this part. Yesterday I had resentments - probably hungry too. Thanks
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Old 09-18-2015, 08:32 AM
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Thanks Incontrol, glad I made you chuckle

I've always been the type of person who needs a lot of distractions; I'll play a game while chatting online while having some wine or a cigarette for example. But now I'm playing Skyrim (love this game so much) and posting and reading on here but I can feel that void. I have a vape which has been helping with the nicotine cravings (I used to think it was great how I only smoke when drinking but then realised that, if you're drinking every day, you're smoking every day and your whole 'social smoker' thing is a load of crap. I'm a moron) but sipping ice tea just isn't the same.

You're right, of course. Living a better life and accomplishing all the things I want to do are all great reasons to keep going but the F**k It Demon is really shouting at me today.

Soldiering on *stomps around*
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Old 09-18-2015, 08:43 AM
  # 338 (permalink)  
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LOST was a TV series. Available on Netflix now. Was awesome. Always made you think then surprise you.
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Old 09-18-2015, 08:53 AM
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Originally Posted by Rar View Post
This is something I really need to work on. I was working on the physical stuff and neglected this part. Yesterday I had resentments - probably hungry too. Thanks
We all do. That's why we're alcoholics. Sometimes I would go an entire day or even days before I would take even 1 second to take inventory.

I spend most my time driving. So I actually put a post it note in my car to remind me. HALT is awesome for prevention measures. The note kept me on par.

The funny thing is...about a month later, after the note dried up and ended in the trash, I found myself being depressed one day. I had been depressed, I just all of a sudden paid attention to it. Then I remembered HALT! After taking a minute to do inventory, I took action. Then boom...no more depression.

It really is hard being depressed. It takes over everything. Logic goes out the window. Even wanting to do something about it goes out the window. I just become mad that I am that way. It's weird. I just don't think there's a way out at times. But there is. It just takes the smallest amount of effort.
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Old 09-18-2015, 10:32 AM
  # 340 (permalink)  
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I have never seen an episode of lost !!
I still watch the back episodes of stargate , and sg atlantis.
I got the kids watching justice league episodes !!
I can't wait for season 2 of "the flash" to start. Bad former comic book nerd.
All my old books are gone though. ��
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