(Not So) New - Frank's Thread Part 5
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
The policies and rules of posting on SR are spelled out pretty clearly:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ting-tips.html
What they don't spell out, and what is difficult to define, much less govern, are our expectations: What we have a right to expect from others on SR. What others have a right to expect from us. Common sense ought to apply throughout the site -- and it does, with remarkably little drama. I've been here nearly two years and seen very little of it, which I think speaks well to the character of the entire community. And the quality of moderators.
I think SR works most effectively when people are able to open up. But candor lies in the eye of the beholder. Some open a vein. Others say little about themselves. It's a tricky balance.
What we should not -- and cannot, really -- do is compel what others should share. Frankly, I hope Frank chooses to share more at some point. (And, yes, I intended the pun there.) I think it's healthy. I also think SR has helped him greatly in attaining nearly two months of sobriety and showing that it is within his reach as much as anyone's. That matters considerably.
But we have to respect what others decide they will share. I'll use myself as an example. I'd say about a dozen people know my real first name. There have been times I've wished I had not disclosed some things about myself; it's probably easy, for example, to determine where I live. To this day, I have not discussed my occupation in great detail. Maybe three or four people who know me quite well know what I do for a living and I intend to keep it that way. I've attained a modest level of stature in my career; my confidentiality is important to me. My SR classmates are dear to me. To this day -- and I'm nearing two years on SR -- there is one whose name I don't know, let alone profession. I respect that individual's choice about privacy as much as I'm grateful for others holding my privacy in similar esteem.
My only request: Dial it back a little. I would like to continue participating -- and plan to -- but would like to do so without references to harems.
Thank you,
Venecia
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ting-tips.html
What they don't spell out, and what is difficult to define, much less govern, are our expectations: What we have a right to expect from others on SR. What others have a right to expect from us. Common sense ought to apply throughout the site -- and it does, with remarkably little drama. I've been here nearly two years and seen very little of it, which I think speaks well to the character of the entire community. And the quality of moderators.
I think SR works most effectively when people are able to open up. But candor lies in the eye of the beholder. Some open a vein. Others say little about themselves. It's a tricky balance.
What we should not -- and cannot, really -- do is compel what others should share. Frankly, I hope Frank chooses to share more at some point. (And, yes, I intended the pun there.) I think it's healthy. I also think SR has helped him greatly in attaining nearly two months of sobriety and showing that it is within his reach as much as anyone's. That matters considerably.
But we have to respect what others decide they will share. I'll use myself as an example. I'd say about a dozen people know my real first name. There have been times I've wished I had not disclosed some things about myself; it's probably easy, for example, to determine where I live. To this day, I have not discussed my occupation in great detail. Maybe three or four people who know me quite well know what I do for a living and I intend to keep it that way. I've attained a modest level of stature in my career; my confidentiality is important to me. My SR classmates are dear to me. To this day -- and I'm nearing two years on SR -- there is one whose name I don't know, let alone profession. I respect that individual's choice about privacy as much as I'm grateful for others holding my privacy in similar esteem.
My only request: Dial it back a little. I would like to continue participating -- and plan to -- but would like to do so without references to harems.
Thank you,
Venecia
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 43
It's so hard because I took it personal, I am realizing it's not about me, it's about the alcohol.
Gosh....I would hate that pull on my life. I commend every person who sees it for what it is and have to deal with it day by day.
Gosh....I would hate that pull on my life. I commend every person who sees it for what it is and have to deal with it day by day.
Last edited by 321hope; 09-13-2015 at 08:09 PM. Reason: Poor writing
aka Nesty
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
321hope , I learned a lot in my 2 years sober . I went through even more in the 10 + years drinking . The one thing I know for a fact is you can not make any one quit unless they want it . No amount of begging , crying , standing on your head will change there mind . It's better to work on yourself first , so it won't eat you up inside . Then you'll be stronger to help them when they want it .
aka Nesty
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
321hope I've only been on SR since July , but I was 2 years sober . I was looking for a place to fit in too. There's class's to join like Ven said , but the thread for 2013 those people have known each other 2 years . So I felt lost , the July thread this year people are still trying to get or be sober .
Frank was kind enough to let a Misfit like me in
Frank was kind enough to let a Misfit like me in
aka Nesty
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
I always thought of myself as the little girl on this video https://youtu.be/dRIQFYMMNYY
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: West Coast USA
Posts: 900
Originally Posted by Venecia 
And don't worry about the number of posts. No need to mark the number, guys. The moderators have a lot of work to do here; they'll get to it.
#556
aka Nesty
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
Thanks 123hope very kind words
Frank I think people don't think we are acting like adults , for lack of a different word . Who wants to get old & stuffy anyways , I know I'm going to act as young as I can till I can't any more . Like Shabby said .
Frank I think people don't think we are acting like adults , for lack of a different word . Who wants to get old & stuffy anyways , I know I'm going to act as young as I can till I can't any more . Like Shabby said .
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: West Coast USA
Posts: 900
Originally Posted by NestWasEmpty
Frank I think people don't think we are acting like adults
aka Nesty
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Northern Vt.
Posts: 1,554
Oh boy I just noticed something , I've been talking to my Rat calling her Pepe . I didn't realize that's the word I use to ask Baby if she needs to go outside . I wondered why she kept looking at me , like how many times are you going to ask me .
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,860
What has me completely scratching my head is that I am not sure anyone read my post. (Save for the last paragraph, based on the resulting swipe about me being humorless.) What I was offering was unconditional support for people sharing as much or as little about themselves. It was an effort to be supportive.
I'm sorry that fell on deaf ears.
I'm sorry that fell on deaf ears.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
