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Class of August 2015 Part 5

Old 09-26-2015, 05:37 PM
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Hello Friends, hope everyone is having a good weekend.
I'm doing OK but the little voice in my head has been very persistent in the last couple days. I am trying not to listen to it but it keeps on nagging...
Today I was hoping to shut it up by doing constant housework: laundry, vacuuming, cleaning, etc. I washed all the windows in the house, organized my yarns, organized my closet, went grocery shopping and cooked. It's 8:30 pm and I'm so tired that all I can think about is going to bed. And I'm going on a long hike tomorrow. Not sure what else to do.
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Old 09-26-2015, 06:05 PM
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Don't engage it, and reach out for support - sounds like you're doing all those thing yogapants - you will get through this!

D
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Old 09-26-2015, 07:37 PM
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Well, yet another hidden wine bottle was found today , by my husband. I brushed it off but he was grumpy and suspicious. I am going to have to comb this place inch by inch looking for more hidden treasures. What a sneaky turd I was. I already heard AV yapping so entertained for a nanosecond just giving in, but decided to go to lunch instead, At lunch an older lady came over to my husband and said he looked exactly like Groucho Marx and should come on her TV show to be a Groucho impersonator! She said just grow his brows a little more!

He looks nothing whatsoever like Groucho I have to add, I laughed till I cried. No more AV.

Going to bed early, that helps me to be up early and go outside when it's so quiet and I can meditate alone, outside and start day off calm.

Here's to a great Sunday for all tomorrow,
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Old 09-26-2015, 08:29 PM
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Thank you for support, friends! Sorry to hear of these cravings and small relapses. To tell you the honest truth, I don't know how I've mustered the mind switch from "a drink sounds GREAT" to " I don't drink" ...I like to think I've hypnotized myself. When I see the alcohol in front of me, I think of how good I feel after one...I think of how I'm going to want another one...and another one to keep that initial buzz going... Then I might grab a 6 pack because I don't want to drink anymore of someone else's booze... But I'll probably drink two more, because I'll be feeling hungry but if I eat, I'll get too tired and pass out...so I'll get drunk and then my stomach will be so sick in the morning...I'll eat and eat as much greasy food and soda I can stomach...my head will be pounding...I'd probably just take a nap and hope to feel better when I wake up...and I would, but feeling better means..okay, I'll finish that 6 pack now...& the cycle will begin to repeat itself daily...& there goes my life again. Diluted with booze. I assume that's what "playing the tape" means. Trust me. It works for me for now. It's funny, though. The few people I've informed of my "abstaining " have inquired " for how long"...& I don't know how to respond....I guess for as long as I can...and if I can't, I'll try again. "if we don't change, we don't grow. if we don't grow, we aren't really living"~Gail Sheehy
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Old 09-27-2015, 05:06 AM
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That's playing the tape thru Coleoipe. Yes, it's never about just one for us, is it?

Great sober weekend for me. Long bike ride earlier yesterday, met up with sister last night, and today band practice and lunch w my dad. The weather here is awesome this weekend, like a summer rerun. Yay!

One day at a time is working well for me at the moment.

Sadie, glad you had a good laugh! I'm sorry your hidden bottles keep appearing. Maybe a thorough once over of your house will be cathartic for you. Hugs!
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Old 09-27-2015, 06:39 AM
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Good morning Augustables. Just checkin' in. Hope everybody is having a nice weekend. Mine is going fine.

Strange thing. I'm on day 58 (I think!) and haven't been bothered by my AV much at all. I had a really tough withdrawal and perhaps I'm still to close to that tough time to even think about alcohol.

Oh well. I think I'm prepared for when he does show up. And I know he will!!!
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Old 09-27-2015, 06:51 AM
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Morning! Just checking in. I've worked most of the weekend. I'll have to catch up on everyone. I see some had the AV talking pretty loudly. I hope you pulled through. I'm so lucky I don't have that a lot. In fact it's rare for me. Thank God. Maybe I've learned to ignore it. Hang in there you'll be so glad you did!
Make it a great day everyone!!
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Old 09-27-2015, 08:25 AM
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Hey class. Just checking in. I'm still here, and still sober.

I know I don't post much, but this does not mean I'm not reading everything or that I don't care. It just means that I am a very introverted person and don't really have much to say.

I'm sad to see the relapses, but happy to see those people get right back up to try again. And I am happy to see the people who are just ticking along and overcoming cravings.

I am "lucky" in a way I guess -- I don't have a lot of the triggers that are problems for most people. I'm not in a relationship, I don't have kids, and I work part-time at a mostly non-stressful job. However, this means I spend a lot of time alone (which I like) but it also means I have a lot of time that I used to fill with drinking. So far I am not having any problem filling this time and enjoying it without alcohol. Every once in a while I think about how that first drink would taste, but then I remember what comes next, and what comes the next day.
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Old 09-27-2015, 10:10 AM
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It's nice to see everyone checking in. The AV was loud again last night, but didn't win. Went to a great Mass this morning. Kinda "filled" my spiritual tank, which I will need for the upcoming week and weekend. I will be traveling to the U.S. West Coast for a conference towards the end of the week, and I get to see my son! He is in University, but is off for a few months to complete a co-op at...of all places...a winery. It's so ironic. My drink of choice throughout the years has been wine. Now my son is of legal drinking age, is working at a winery, I am about to visit him, and I haven't told him yet that I'm not drinking. I think I will give him a heads up today. In addition, I know the people attending the conference well, and they are drinkers. They like to order very fine wine to share at dinner. I've done "no drinking" around this group in the past and it is hard, but doable.

So maybe this is why my AV has been so terrible lately? Ya think????
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Old 09-27-2015, 02:22 PM
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Just checking in - tired after the hike but feeling good. I think it's day 48 for me. AV has been quiet today. I'm making dinner now and drinking Italian blood orange soda. Delicious! I think I'll go to bed early today but not sure if I will go to the gym in the morning. It has been an exhausting weekend.

Good to see everyone checking in and also coming right back after a lapse. Have a great week everyone!
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Old 09-27-2015, 02:55 PM
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Please be brutally honest and tell me what you think:

I tried to go for a nap for one hour, my husband opened the bedroom door, saw me sleeping and then went to play very loudly with my boy next door, singing, yelling, etc

Me: If I told you I needed you to drive me to the next Walmart to buy whatever...1 hour away from us, what would you say?

My husband: I would take you there

Me: If I asked you to be quiet for 1 hour...60 minutes!...so I can have a nap because I am very tired...what would you do?

My Husband: You can't sleep in the middle of the afternoon when the house is busy. You don't have a job. If I told my boss that I am tired do you think he would give me the day off? No!

Me: I am a mom. I don't have a day off. EVER!
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Old 09-27-2015, 03:42 PM
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I would be PO'ed Patricia. That's kind of disrespectful if you ask me. I don't know the dynamic of your relationship, but it seems unfair. Perhaps you could ask hubby to take the kids to the park, so you can catch some zzzzz's...sorry. Idk. But I figured I would respond with my first instinct.

"if we don't change, we don't grow. if we don't grow, we aren't really living"~Gail Sheehy
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Old 09-27-2015, 04:03 PM
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I'm sorry your hubby is not as understanding as you'd like Patricia.

Setting boundaries with someone who doesn't want to respect them is hard but that really makes it all the more important that you try.

Begin to Set Personal Boundaries

D
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Old 09-27-2015, 04:08 PM
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Sorry to hear your husband isn't letting you rest Patricia. Wish I could help. Have you guys ever tried counseling? I'm a big proponent of therapy, both individual and couples....
It's natural that your sobriety has made you more sensitive and upset the dynamic. It will settle, or it won't, but give it some time to reach equilibrium. Hugs to you.

I'm wrapping up day 3. Music and exercise today, yeah! It's so nice outside. I hope tonight I can spot the blood moon
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Old 09-27-2015, 05:14 PM
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Patricia I'm with Dee. Boundaries are hard anyway but theyre necessary. If I were you I'd keep on doing what I need to do to take care of myself. As I've said before, it's a must in your sobriety especially early sobriety to take care of your basic needs. You're doing the right thing. I'll pray it gets better for you ((hug)).
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Old 09-27-2015, 06:11 PM
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I remember when I was a kid...7-8 years old...my mom would ask me to be quiet for an hour or so for her nap time..and I knew that the whole world would come to an end if I didn't...

My husband however has the typical aggressive personality...he would blame me, you, the neighbour, the government, and the the Pope and the entire Church for his problems...it's not me, it's YOU! I am the victim and YOU are the cause of all my problems...I've learned that in therapy...I haven't learned the solution to that problem yet though...

I need to learn to set boundaries, you are so right Dee...and to set boundaries sober... so need a manual for that! I have no clue where to start....

I'm starting to realize that 99%of my problems are because I don't know how to set boundaries and my assertiveness skills are pathetic...
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Old 09-27-2015, 07:17 PM
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That is a really good link that Dee sent Patricia! Hope it helps, does seem you need to set boundaries with husband and children. You do have a difficult and important job, it needs to be respected.
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Old 09-27-2015, 09:00 PM
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Hi everyone. Boundaries were a huge issue for me for a long time. I'm better at setting them but not everyone appreciates that, so it can be a battle to make those kinds of changes. Worth it, though.

I celebrated a month of sobriety yesterday. The date August 26 will forever be etched in my mind as The Day Everything Changed. No matter the ups and downs, I urge everyone here to remember that alcohol is a poison. It is a seductively slow poison but, once it kills you, you won't be any less dead than if you'd tossed back a glass full of cyanide.

Hugs to all!
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Old 09-28-2015, 02:20 AM
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Hey congrats Retread! High five!
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Old 09-28-2015, 04:51 AM
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Congrats on your month, Retread!

Patricia, being a mom is difficult and wonderful at the same time. How old are the kids? Can your husband be a coach or assistant coach for any sport? I used to like that downtime. Good luck with the boundaries.
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