benice

Me too. Alcohol killed my dad. It was awful. Good on you Yoga!

KeyofC

Creative...the Ahaa moment will happen. It may not be an ahaa moment where we have one heck of a throw down and bands play and we have food and concessions but it will come. It will come when you are ready for it and let it happen..hang in there ((Hug))
MilitiA...I am so glad you fought through it. I recall early on you were just going to quit a while and then try to go back to moderating I believe is what maybe you were talking about (correct me please and forgive me if I'm wrong). I am wondering what's your thinking today on this? Curious is all.
Day 65
I need everyone to understand, I just like to help people. Often we care more about other people than we can care for ourselves. I have a lot of issues too and things I am working on in my life too. From time to time I vent about them or I'll write in my public blog for everyone to read. I am only a vocal person who is thinking something I say may help someone. I am not perfect, nor is my life. Today, I am a bit wiser how to work on my issues and deal with them more appropriately so that I don't throw myself into a tornado of depression, anxiety, or worrying. All of that is so self destructive and it puts my sobriety in danger. I am making myself be more attentive and aware of my actions and reactions. All for sobriety because it is my number 1 priority today. Each day I make a commitment for another 24 hours and I stick to it. No matter what. That's just me and how I do it.
Take care of yourselves. You are worth it. Love yourself. ((Hug))

Retread1959

Popping in quickly to say that it's officially four weeks of sobriety for me today. I haven't had a chance to read through the thread so I'll be back tonight to give everyone the appropriate hugs, cheers, condolences, and whatever else might be needed. Glad you are all here on this journey with me. It makes it so much better than trying to go it alone.

((((hugs))))

KeyofC

Ahhh I'm happy for you Retread! ((HUG))!! Woohoo!

MilitiARGH

The plan was to be sober for 90 days and then to re-evaluate. If I've shown that I'm a responsible drinker by heart, I'll jump off the wagon. If not, I'll keep riding until I find my destination. This still holds true.
So far, I'm far from ready.

Clownbaby

I keep reading posts, class! Sorry I haven't said much about them, but every story is important and I want to wish you the strength and encouragement you need to make the best decision for you and the people who love you. That being said, I tried to visit my mother yesterday and she didn't even answer the door Don't let the drink steal you away from the people who love you. Sure, it may not be that bad for you now...but it only gets worse. Class of August, you are rock stars! Thank you for being there for me and for sharing your journeys!

"if we don't change, we don't grow. if we don't grow, we aren't really living"~Gail Sheehy

KeyofC

Thanks MilitiA for the update! I was just wondering how it was coming along..only you know what you truly want inside. I hope you find what you're looking for. Best wishes!

KeyofC

Coleiope, I am sorry...hug. My prayers are with you!

patricia68

I feel the same today. I am angry at the world.
When did I turn into this awful "I hate everything" person?
I don't know if I can do this...I thought being sober would turn me into a better person...

KeyofC

It was about a week before my two month mark that depression anxiety anger and worry had a death grip on me. I had to change my thinking to change my thinking and my whole outlook on life. My reaction to the action or vice versa had to change with everything. Everything. It is learning a different way to live. Otherwise you are stuck in this middle of nothingness and can't cross over or break free. You are basically sober living a drunk life. Just my opinion though. Life is a challenge anyway and not a bed of roses everyday or people running around so blissfully happy they could crap. You have to learn to be grateful for the little things and thankful for everyday and work on you.

Clownbaby

Well said, Key! I have definitely had these moments where I'm completely confused...panic-stricken about where I am and what I'm doing with my life. The cool thing about sobriety is that I'm more inclined to use that as motivation instead of letting it overwhelm me...and procrastinate "until I'm sober...I'll do something about it then...." -sound familiar? Maybe that's just me, but I make a lot of excuses when I'm drinking....I guess because drink was #1priority.

"if we don't change, we don't grow. if we don't grow, we aren't really living"~Gail Sheehy

KeyofC

Agree Coleiope!

vanaprastha

Hey class. Just checking in. I'm still here, still reading the class posts, and still sober. I looked at my finance program and realized I was spending $100 a month at the liquor store, and another $50 buying beer at the grocery store, so I have been busy finding other ways to spend that money.

patricia68

I had a beer today.
What did I get myself into? I wanted a better life, and I am more miserable than ever.
I tried to quit alcohol, nicotine, and benzos all at once...I am not as strong as I thought I was.
0 benzos, 2 cigarettes, 1 beer today.

patricia68

I'm doing something wrong. There's no respect for my needs in this house. Booh Hoo I know, but it's important to me. I wanted a day off. I asked for a day off. I don't work 9-5. I work 24-7, 365 days a year. I'm a mom. So I asked for a break. One day break. I went down for a nap, and 30 minutes later they wake me up because they can't find a pair of socks...i'm burnt out...

Dee74

It takes a little time to 'retrain' a family - especially if you've always done things for them Patricia.

Persevere with it - you need healthy solutions that are good for you - and drinking just doesn't fit that description

D

patricia68

Thank you Dee <3

kittycat3

Hang in there Patricia. You had almost 30 days, one beer doesn't erase that. But stop now while you are ahead!

patricia68

Thank you Kitty. I didn't keep drinking.

I feel horrible though. I am tired, overwhelmed, and very angry.

I need to learn when to stop and rest, even if I have to fake a headache or whatever so my family would give me a day off.

I need to learn how to deal with this anger that I don't even know where is coming from.

I'm off to bed at 9pm...too early to sleep but I really need a break.

TroyW

Patricia, sorry to hear it. Not to make light of the situation, but reminds of years ago when my sister-in-law phoned me crying while she was trying to get the toilet unplugged. My one nephew (3 years old at the time) always thought it was funny to flush toys down it. That time Batman and Joker got the flush.

Anyway, hang in there, you're doing great. If I was you, I'd just take a mandatory break. Once the dishes start piling up, and they end up wearing the same socks several days in a row because they can't find the other ones, maybe they'll begin to appreciate what you do a little more.