kittycat3

Sadie, think how awesome it will be to act in the skit SOBER! In full control of yourself and with clear perception!
I'm reminded of a work event I attended in my early 20s, one employee had a magic act and he called up a volunteer, and one of our customers got up on stage with him and she was wasted! Totally embarrassing....her antics were the running joke for the rest of that trip (and for her, probably much longer....) thank goodness you will not experience that kind of horror!

PennyLane76

HAHA, that makes me laugh, thanks Kitty.! They are wanting to do some Sonny and Cher thing, me being Cher because I'm tall, and a very short girl Sonny with a fake mustache. No Way! Cheeez alert. Attention is not my friend, but in the past I always did have a shot of vodka before, this time I won't and see if its tolerable. Off to bed, hello Benadryl. Have to get up at the buttcrack of dawn. Love to all Augustables!

PennyLane76

I just found something disgusting, I was digging around for shoes for my trip and found a very moldy old glass of wine behind shoes on the shoe shelf. I think I stashed it there when husband came home early, who knows how long ago. What I mess I was . It's going to take a long while to catch up with things I didn't do while drinking, like organising. Found another hidden bottle few days ago, I hope no more surprises I forgot about. Now I have to sneak it downstairs to the dishwasher. Gross.

Clownbaby

I confess, today was a day that I totally considered relapsing:/ I was entirely too stressed out at work! Again, trying too pick up a lot of slack at my job because the responsibilities aren't being divided fairly. I'm not the type to nag & complain. I usually just get drunk and forget about it, but instead I did a lot of complaining to my supervisor and received a fringe benefit for my misery 😁I guess that's a step forward in this new life I've made for myself . To be honest, I can't help but feel lousy for "throwing people under the bus" for their lack of competence, but I can't be everyone's crutch. And I HAD to express my feelings in order to feel good about my extra efforts. I'm really glad I didn't resort to my old ways. I dealt with my problem and got a little reward. Much better than a hangover if you ask me. I am grateful my bosses are willing to listen and give me the credit I need to stay strong in my journey through this sober life. That is all. I made it through day 33!

"if we don't change, we don't grow. if we don't grow, we aren't really living"~Gail Sheehy

Retread1959

Evening check-in! Worked on my new website most of the day and I'm happy with how it's coming along; pitched a prospective client, not expecting anything, and really not sure where I'd find the time to do all this work if I start getting clients right away, since I am not retired yet and I'm starting a new class on the 30th. I might actually talk to HR tomorrow to get the ball rolling on retirement, because it will take three months to get out of there. I just feel like I can't get out of there soon enough.

Two things will happen once I retire. I'll have time to really track down work and finish school, and I will have money to lease or buy and board my own horse so I can spend more time riding, which I really, really love. We should spend more time doing what we love, IMO.

I love hearing that everyone's managing to get through the weekends. They are hard for me, but I'm drinking the NA beer and starting to feel like that's okay. The habits are changing and I'm slowing getting back to being the person I want to be. ((((hugs)))) to all.

TroyW

*breathes deeply out of nose as if he's pissed off*

I'm telling you, I'm getting fed up with this one client. We've been working together since 2008 though.

I'm still debating whether or not to force changes on him. I can if I want, and he'd have no choice but to go along with it, but that's not my job. My job is to do what he wants, not what I want.

Retread1959

Sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and do the ugly. Have you ever seen this?

How a Web Design Goes Straight to Hell - The Oatmeal

I feel like this is my life almost every time I agree to do design work for someone. Why I want to make it my full-time job and build a business around it is sometimes not clear. I always hope and pray that someday a client will leave me alone enough to complete a job that I can be proud to say I did.

lovehoops

Good morning all...happy Monday and glad to see we survived another weekend.

Calliope...great job on self advocating...hooray!! Glad it worked out in your favor.
Retread/Troy...it's tough to always please the customer..glad you worked through it.
Sadie...skits are definitely not my thing either..and I found 2 old bottles of wine yesterday while looking for fall decorations...I know there is stuff hidden in other places but not there? Like you said...I have no idea how long they were there? Gross gross!!!!!

Have a great Monday everyone. It definitely feels like fall on Long Island xo

benice

Sober is awesome, Troy! Have you been able to string together a few 100% no alcohol days? I hate to be a nag, mother hen, stick in the mud, every-party-needs-a-pooper-that's-why-we-invited-you, etc., but I don't see it in your posts. I see you struggle with a variety of things and then drink, you're off for a bit, and then you are back (and it's GREAT that you're back), but I don't recall you ever saying you made a whole 24 and are looking for 24 more. If you DO have consecutive 100% no alcohol days, will you post about them please? Do you still consider drinking beer acceptable? Why aren't you celebrating your day one? Do you have a day one?

I do see from other posts that you are missed terribly when you don't post. I get that. But, for this struggling sole, a classmate who comes to class with a drink in hand makes me want to grab a glass and come to class too. It plays tricks with the AV in which I go back to thinking... heck, beer is ok, or you can moderate and post and it's ok.

KeyofC

Checking in on my day 63!
Hope everyone is doing well. Another vesutiful day here in Ky! Sunshine, cooler weather, ahhhh! Can't wait to get off work. Make it a great Monday yall! Attitude sets the mood for the whole day including the action in it and your reaction to it (goes for me too)! I gotta check myself a few times a day!
((Hug)) to yall!

patricia68

Absolutely!
Have an awesome day Key!

KeyofC

You too Patricia!
Hey all I typed that note out fast there and that word that makes no sense is supposed to be "beautiful day here in Ky"! Lol Thanks!

MilitiARGH

So, Monday. Feel like trying bungee jumping with a noose around my neck.
6 day work weeks stink.

Hobbers

Hi gang,


So, I had another bad weekend, where I was drinking (at times) uncontrollably. I just keep coming back to the problem/answer that 'I just don't see alcohol not being in my life at all/ever'. I can have a beer or two, and be done, but it is when I don't want a beer or two- where I literally decide and plan to drink an entire bottle of whatever- and that now happens way too frequently.

and my anxiety, stress, marriage, and (now, it seems) depression issues only exacerbate the issue(s)- one feeds off of another, which feeds into a third, and then, we get a snowball effect.

I will NOT drink today. I will try to not drink tomorrow. And we'll just go from there.


(though my only brother's wedding is this weekend, and I just don't remotely see myself not drinking there. /sigh...)

patricia68

What a day...I have a nasty headache, blurry vision, anxiety, the works...it feels like day 1 all over again. Ugh!

And you'd think my AV would be nice today...? Of course not. It's driving me insane...apparently if I drink a bottle of wine my headache would go away...

Actually I think this is about my benzo tapering. I know you get all kinds of funky symptoms when you taper. But my benzo Av is quiet though, it's the alcohol AV that won't shut up!

I'm going for a walk...I hope it gets better, I really don't want to take a higher dose today. And I'm going without my wallet...just in case the AV gets really pushy

Send me sober vibes please!

Hobbers

Sending you as many as I can muster- please send me the same.

That's been happening (dumb AV thoughts and ideas) a LOT lately, and unfortunately, it's been winning most of them. "You're hung over cause you were an idiot last night- you KNOW I'm the only thing that'll make it all go away...".

I wish my (low dose) benzos would actually work to quiet down my anxiety more. I think this evening is a 'long walk with the dog in the woods' kinda day. I would be sooo happy if I could just make it without drinking from now until the wedding. I'm not even going to begin to psyche myself up or start believing (so I can be crushed) that I'll make it THROUGH the wedding without. I am just not (nearly) strong enough for that.

Pray, gang- please- that I make it through this week without drinking.

Dee74

I think if you go in with the mindset that you're not strong enough you're already three quarters beaten Hobbers.

You are strong enough - not lifting a glass to your lips doesn't take that much strength....but recovery needs acceptance of your toxic relationship with alcohol and a belief in yourself that you can, and should, live better.

I should have quit decades before I did - and I should have - but I allowed myself to be convinced I wasn't strong enough, and not worthy enough to fight for.

I allowed my fear of what sober life might be like to keep me drinking.

You can quit anytime you like Hobbers....really - it's just down to you as to what you're prepared to do to make that happen.

D

KeyofC

Patricia/Hobbers
You are worth every ounce of whatever you can muster to fight against this addiction! Nobody said it would be easy, they said it would be worth it! It's gonna be tough. It's gonna suck. You're gonna feel like crap! You're gonna feel like giving up! You gotta push through it. There is life without alcohol. It'll feel like a death. The old you is dying while you discover the new you. The you you were meant to be! Give yourself a chance. YOU are in there!! You're gonna have bad days but you'll have good things. Relish in the good no matter how small, they add up! Don't do one day at a time-do one hour at a time. Fill your brain with something other than thinking about drinking!
Use the people here. They will help you. I'm very young in my sobriety but maybe something I've said will strike a chord and make sense! Just my thoughts. ((Hug))

KeyofC

Acceptance is the first step and I just got the full meaning of this on my 60 days. Acceptance is knowing no matter how bad I wish it were different. No matter how much I wish I could drink normal. No matter how much I wish I could moderate. No matter how much I wish I could party the fun way. No matter none of this! The reality the harsh reality is--I just CANT. I can't. That's the fact. I have proven it too many times to be in denial. I now accept the fact that I can't drink. I haven't just stopped. I realize and accept this. Now I accept learning to live life differently. So admitting I'm powerless I got that right off. Accepting it took me a little longer, but once I did, things just started clicking.

patricia68

Thank you so much Key...You are so right!
Ugh I wish I could say something more meaningful...white knuckling it today, I think I can't even feel my knuckles anymore...what a day.
But it's just a bad day, right? It'll be over soon and tomorrow I'll be glad I didn't drink.
I can do this. I can do this...