Class of April 2015 Part 8
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Sobering stuff amp.
Kim, I think when we commit to recovery, we change...that's as true of you as much as anyone else here.
You've shown you can be sober - now all you need to do is find out how to achieve escape velocity and leave Planet Addiction for good.
You never start back at zero because you can't unlearn the things you've learned being sober. Think of it as recovery 2.0
I just kept adding more and more things to my 'toolbox; until it worked.
You can too
Kim, I think when we commit to recovery, we change...that's as true of you as much as anyone else here.
You've shown you can be sober - now all you need to do is find out how to achieve escape velocity and leave Planet Addiction for good.
You never start back at zero because you can't unlearn the things you've learned being sober. Think of it as recovery 2.0
I just kept adding more and more things to my 'toolbox; until it worked.
You can too
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
wow guys...just checking in real quick , it's late here. I got my internet back! My evening the other night turned out to be quite amazing. We listened to a celebrity speaker about climate change and our environment, bought his book and he signed it for my son. He was trilled with it, and took it to school to show his teacher. Yesterday we went to a birthday party, ate too much. And tonight we went out for dinner with friends...the AV was bugging me a bit (we ended up eating in the lounge). I ordered a non-alcoholic beer and I was ok. Seeing a lady wobble two and fro to the washroom really helped me snap out of it quickly.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Morning, All!
SG, congratulations (a day late) on six months!! Awesome milestone to hit. So glad you joined the tread
Amp, I'm sorry to hear about that. Addiction is so incredibly powerful. So sad, but sobering, to hear what ends up happening to some.
Cauliflower, I'm glad you've had a great last few nights! Good to hear.
I'm glad that you all got something from my post. I wanted to share for accountability reasons, but also with the hope that it might be helpful. Something else I wanted to share is that I drank two nights before my trip started (so about three weeks ago). I managed to drink an amount that allowed me to get to work on time and not feel like death. I knew it was behavior that I didn't like and sort of passed it off as once I go on the trip, I'll have a fresh start. But here is the scary part: I was in a meeting late morning/early afternoon (so the hangover had passed), and the thought drifted into my mind: "what if you had a little bit of wine during lunch to make the afternoon seem more productive/happier/etc?" My reaction at the time was of course not; I work in an alcohol-free environment and could get fired. But I had never had a thought like that. That voice was my AV and with that suggestion showed how quickly it could take a hold of my life and have it in shambles within no time. That was very scary.
It is just interesting to think how quickly a downward spiral could play out. How one can drink for years and years and be a "functioning" alcoholic, but with one relapse could loose a lot. Just thought I'd share!
Happy to report one week sober today. Not a big milestone, but an important one. One day at a time! I hope you all are well.
SG, congratulations (a day late) on six months!! Awesome milestone to hit. So glad you joined the tread
Amp, I'm sorry to hear about that. Addiction is so incredibly powerful. So sad, but sobering, to hear what ends up happening to some.
Cauliflower, I'm glad you've had a great last few nights! Good to hear.
I'm glad that you all got something from my post. I wanted to share for accountability reasons, but also with the hope that it might be helpful. Something else I wanted to share is that I drank two nights before my trip started (so about three weeks ago). I managed to drink an amount that allowed me to get to work on time and not feel like death. I knew it was behavior that I didn't like and sort of passed it off as once I go on the trip, I'll have a fresh start. But here is the scary part: I was in a meeting late morning/early afternoon (so the hangover had passed), and the thought drifted into my mind: "what if you had a little bit of wine during lunch to make the afternoon seem more productive/happier/etc?" My reaction at the time was of course not; I work in an alcohol-free environment and could get fired. But I had never had a thought like that. That voice was my AV and with that suggestion showed how quickly it could take a hold of my life and have it in shambles within no time. That was very scary.
It is just interesting to think how quickly a downward spiral could play out. How one can drink for years and years and be a "functioning" alcoholic, but with one relapse could loose a lot. Just thought I'd share!
Happy to report one week sober today. Not a big milestone, but an important one. One day at a time! I hope you all are well.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Man...what an exhausting day at Cedar Point. Stayed till closing at midnight. They had haunted houses and scare zones set up. Lots of fun.
I was so tired driving home, I was driving with one eye open a few times. I was thinking how dangerous it was and how many times I did that in the past without concern. Coffee didn't help much. Pulled over a couple times and did some jumping jacks. I'm sure anyone who saw me thought I was crazy.
They serve beer there. Surprising. Just a few beer booths and a bar. There was a show put in with various entertainers doing their gig at night on an outside stage. Was a really good show. Anyway, I saw this lady who was probably in late 50's almost do a face plant. She was holding an empty beer cup. She recovered and stumbled on. The sad part was she was with a small boy who was probably under 10yrs old.
She looked like an obvious frequent drinker. Probably a full time drunk. I felt sad for the boy and really happy I wasn't like that anymore. I never got fall down drunk for some reason. I drank a lot, but never blacked out or ever became a stumbling drunk. But that was probably the next stage in my alcoholism.
I was so tired driving home, I was driving with one eye open a few times. I was thinking how dangerous it was and how many times I did that in the past without concern. Coffee didn't help much. Pulled over a couple times and did some jumping jacks. I'm sure anyone who saw me thought I was crazy.
They serve beer there. Surprising. Just a few beer booths and a bar. There was a show put in with various entertainers doing their gig at night on an outside stage. Was a really good show. Anyway, I saw this lady who was probably in late 50's almost do a face plant. She was holding an empty beer cup. She recovered and stumbled on. The sad part was she was with a small boy who was probably under 10yrs old.
She looked like an obvious frequent drinker. Probably a full time drunk. I felt sad for the boy and really happy I wasn't like that anymore. I never got fall down drunk for some reason. I drank a lot, but never blacked out or ever became a stumbling drunk. But that was probably the next stage in my alcoholism.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,176
Originally Posted by SwimKim12 
. But here is the scary part: I was in a meeting late morning/early afternoon (so the hangover had passed), and the thought drifted into my mind: "what if you had a little bit of wine during lunch to make the afternoon seem more productive/happier/etc?" My reaction at the time was of course not; I work in an alcohol-free environment and could get fired. But I had never had a thought like that. That voice was my AV and with that suggestion showed how quickly it could take a hold of my life and have it in shambles within no time. That was very scary.
It is just interesting to think how quickly a downward spiral could play out. How one can drink for years and years and be a "functioning" alcoholic, but with one relapse could loose a lot. Just thought I'd share!
It is just interesting to think how quickly a downward spiral could play out. How one can drink for years and years and be a "functioning" alcoholic, but with one relapse could loose a lot. Just thought I'd share!
It started addressing me as "You" instead of I." You" deserve a drink because you worked hard." You "deserve a drink because you had a bad day. The AV is afraid of me because I am smarter than it is. Try as it might, the AV can not physically pick up a glass of booze sitting in front of me. It needs me to pick up the glass and throw it down my throat. It is weak. It is discouraged. It hopes to convince me that I can be a moderate drinker once again, that I have forgotten the bad times and forgiven it. It wants to be back in control again, running the show like it has for decades. "I" now know better.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,176
Originally Posted by Incontrol15
Anyway, I saw this lady who was probably in late 50's almost do a face plant. She was holding an empty beer cup. She recovered and stumbled on. The sad part was she was with a small boy who was probably under 10yrs old.
She looked like an obvious frequent drinker. Probably a full time drunk. I felt sad for the boy and really happy I wasn't like that anymore. I never got fall down drunk for some reason. I drank a lot, but never blacked out or ever became a stumbling drunk. But that was probably the next stage in my alcoholism.
She looked like an obvious frequent drinker. Probably a full time drunk. I felt sad for the boy and really happy I wasn't like that anymore. I never got fall down drunk for some reason. I drank a lot, but never blacked out or ever became a stumbling drunk. But that was probably the next stage in my alcoholism.
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Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 1,277
Hi everyone I just wanted to pop in and say hello. I went back to drinking for a few there and no good came of it. Apparently my husband was planning on leaving me when he returned. Things are okay right now but who knows. Best thing to do is commit to sobriety and take care of myself. Hope you are all doing well. I'll try and catch up today. Take care.
I just wanted to pop in and say hello. I went back to drinking for a few there and no good came of it. Apparently my husband was planning on leaving me when he returned. Things are okay right now but who knows. Best thing to do is commit to sobriety and take care of myself. Hope you are all doing well. I'll try and catch up today. Take care.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
Posts: 2,043
Sounds like everyone is moving along well...glad you all had a nice sober weekend! Just stopping by to say~Hey!
My husband gave me a happy 90, early birthday, early Christmas...it involved taking off work and such so he gave it to me in advance. We are going to Las Vegas and I get to see Celine Dion at the Caesars Palace! I am so excited to go! Vegas is such an interesting place and most of it is beautiful! We had a great time last time we went! Celine Dion is one of my favorite performers, such an amazing vocalist! She can just sing and is so genuine inside and out it seems! Anyway just a little insight into my private life there and wanted to share. Thank you for sharing yours as well! Have a wonderful Monday!
My husband gave me a happy 90, early birthday, early Christmas...it involved taking off work and such so he gave it to me in advance. We are going to Las Vegas and I get to see Celine Dion at the Caesars Palace! I am so excited to go! Vegas is such an interesting place and most of it is beautiful! We had a great time last time we went! Celine Dion is one of my favorite performers, such an amazing vocalist! She can just sing and is so genuine inside and out it seems! Anyway just a little insight into my private life there and wanted to share. Thank you for sharing yours as well! Have a wonderful Monday!
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Hey Lily, it's good to see you. I'm really glad you're back. I think that sometimes we need to be sure that sobriety is the right path and, sadly, we are prone to opting to try the opposite just to make sure! I've had so many attempts that have lasted between a day and 6 weeks...
I'm hoping it's going to be different this time. I make 6 months tomorrow (4 times longer than my previous best run). Feels like a big deal
I'm hoping it's going to be different this time. I make 6 months tomorrow (4 times longer than my previous best run). Feels like a big deal
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Lily, great to see you back! I'm glad you are okay. As you can see by reading the posts I've struggled a lot recently as well. The support from this group is phenomenal.
SG, you made a great point about the "voice" that the AV addresses us in. It definitely uses "you" now. It's reassuring to have that distinction.
I hope everyone is well!
SG, you made a great point about the "voice" that the AV addresses us in. It definitely uses "you" now. It's reassuring to have that distinction.
I hope everyone is well!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Yeppo. Can't believe tomorrow is 6months already. I'll be celebrating by door knocking all day trying to catch a sale :/
It'll be a good day regardless. It's fall. My favorite season. Will be sunny and in high 60's. Not the warmest, but I love it.
Today I did my part time job in the morning then went back to bed for a while. Was super tired. Had some wired dreams last night. One was that my best friend through and college years apparently lived a couple doors down the street and I never knew it. He had weed and I smoked it. I ended up buying some.
Had a good time but of course I knew what it was going to lead to. I didn't "play it through" in my dream, but I knew I'd be smoking until I ran out.
My take away is I need to be careful of situations that could arise in the future. I don't need to worry about running into my friend...he died a few years back. But I have cousins that if we had a family get together would lead to trouble for me.
Seems like there's always something to learn from dreams.
It'll be a good day regardless. It's fall. My favorite season. Will be sunny and in high 60's. Not the warmest, but I love it.
Today I did my part time job in the morning then went back to bed for a while. Was super tired. Had some wired dreams last night. One was that my best friend through and college years apparently lived a couple doors down the street and I never knew it. He had weed and I smoked it. I ended up buying some.
Had a good time but of course I knew what it was going to lead to. I didn't "play it through" in my dream, but I knew I'd be smoking until I ran out.
My take away is I need to be careful of situations that could arise in the future. I don't need to worry about running into my friend...he died a few years back. But I have cousins that if we had a family get together would lead to trouble for me.
Seems like there's always something to learn from dreams.
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Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
So good to see you again, Lily!!
I'm doing okay. Little depressed because of work but it's a job that I am grateful for.
Made soup tonight from my moms recipe. It's an ultimate comfort food for me. I thought it was really good but my son didn't like it even though he has in the past. I have lots left over so I'll take some for lunch tomorrow.
No intense desire to drink in quite a while and that has been nice.
I'm just trying to figure out the phase two to my recovery. I've got to make some changes to get out of this funk. I keep saying that so it's time to put some things into action. It's just I am a little depressed and not really wanting to put much energy into anything. Maybe this is one of those fake it until you make it situations.
Hope everyone is doing well.
I'm doing okay. Little depressed because of work but it's a job that I am grateful for.
Made soup tonight from my moms recipe. It's an ultimate comfort food for me. I thought it was really good but my son didn't like it even though he has in the past. I have lots left over so I'll take some for lunch tomorrow.
No intense desire to drink in quite a while and that has been nice.
I'm just trying to figure out the phase two to my recovery. I've got to make some changes to get out of this funk. I keep saying that so it's time to put some things into action. It's just I am a little depressed and not really wanting to put much energy into anything. Maybe this is one of those fake it until you make it situations.
Hope everyone is doing well.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,176
Originally Posted by amp123
6 months up today! Congrats to Inc and to Cauliflower for tomorrow. Wouldn't have made it without all you guys!
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