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Old 09-02-2015, 06:07 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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I need to join another class. I relapsed and am devisted. Cannot think for a min I can have a drink ever. I was doing really good but plagued with guilt, anxiety and pain. I need a better plan and make this my one focus. Feel like a huge failure. Devistated and let so many people down
Lilly
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Old 09-02-2015, 06:25 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by LostLilly View Post
I need to join another class. I relapsed and am devisted. Cannot think for a min I can have a drink ever. I was doing really good but plagued with guilt, anxiety and pain. I need a better plan and make this my one focus. Feel like a huge failure. Devistated and let so many people down
Lilly
Aww lilly, you can stay with us, wherever you feel more comfortable . We dont have to leave a class due to relapse. Hugs lilly
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Old 09-02-2015, 06:46 AM
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I just wanted to stop by and say hello to the September 2015 class. I'm from the March 2014 class and wow, the classes are full of support.

I would just like to say, if you are feeling the urge to pick up, reach out for help before you do. I know a guy who likes to tell people that he has gone 87 days but then got drunk last night, he just wanted us to know. That's great, but we can only try to talk you off the ledge if you ask for help before you leap.

SR is full of great and supportive folks. I'm sure most of you already know that. Stick around. You've found a great place here!

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Old 09-02-2015, 06:52 AM
  # 44 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by LostLilly View Post
I need to join another class. I relapsed and am devisted. Cannot think for a min I can have a drink ever. I was doing really good but plagued with guilt, anxiety and pain. I need a better plan and make this my one focus. Feel like a huge failure. Devistated and let so many people down
Lilly
Hi!
I'm a serial relapser too,
I've been trying to maintain complete sobriety since nov last year!
Always keep trying xoxo

Long work day today and tomorrow, will just drop in briefly to keep a part of the group xx
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Old 09-02-2015, 07:31 AM
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I'm in.

Just dragging myself out of a 2 day bender. Had to call in sick to work. I feel absolutely terrible.
I turned 29 this year and I don't want to live like this anymore.
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Old 09-02-2015, 07:35 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
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Day 6
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Old 09-02-2015, 07:46 AM
  # 47 (permalink)  
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Hi All,
Just signed up after lurking here a few months...first quit drinking at new year, drank again in June and now on day 2 again after going on a bank holiday weekend bender. I had friends staying for the weekend who are big drinkers and, since the city I live in is full of pubs, that's what we did for the whole weekend. Feel awful now, full of anxiety etc. and have had to take the day off work.

I'd actually been enjoying being sober, it was really hard at first but I generally prefer it now, so much more productive and happy...it's just when these occasions come round where everyone else will be drinking I seem to think sod it and join in. I was thinking on Monday 'well nothing bad happened' (even though I did actually black out, but I was with people who I walked home with so it didn't feel as bad as all those times I probably walked home on my own!)...but actually this last two days of anxiety and tears and nightmares and not being able to sleep has been bad!

So I'm stopping again...and joining here to hopefully chat to people who understand because my friends don't (some of them are supportive but they don't really get it).
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Old 09-02-2015, 07:56 AM
  # 48 (permalink)  
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Hey, hey, hey... I'm back. Needless to say I've been drinking for the last month. Not every day, and not every day is a binge, but some days have definitely been too much.

Anyhow, I've been doing a little soul searching the last couple weeks. Why can't I quit? I mean, I would LOVE to be normal, but I'm not. So that aside, why can't I do something that would make me like me more? I think my avatar is more fitting than I realized. It's like there's this, not devil, but petulant child that is so focused on what I CAN'T have (alcohol) that I'm not focusing on the positives my life could have by not drinking. Like better health, maybe give my antidepressants an actual shot of working (more motivation then?!), not feeling like hell some mornings, not missing work because of feeling like hell or just self-loathing so much that I can't imagine facing other people. That last one is today, by the way. I'm home "sick" again because I had four ciders last night and I'm so disappointed in myself and the state of my life presently that I just can't be bothered to care or face people. I'm basically hiding from life in my house.

So anyhow, hello again. I'm gonna take my sober date out of my sig, I think. It seems to be creating a lot of pressure for me to keep it and leaves my focus on X days from not having something I want vs. focusing on what a lovely day I could have because of not having alcohol.
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Old 09-02-2015, 08:04 AM
  # 49 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by DariaM View Post
. I'm basically hiding from life in my house.
.
This is me today as well! I also am with you on thinking that I end up drinking when I lose focus on the positives of not drinking and start thinking "Its not fair that other people can have fun" etc....funny how we forget the days like these and just end up focusing on the brief bit of fun!
I'm going to eat some very green spinach and pea soup and drink some herbal tea in the hope of having a better day tomorrow...hope you can do something similar
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Old 09-02-2015, 08:55 AM
  # 50 (permalink)  
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Welcome to all the new folks! 5 days for me. Thank you all for the help with my crazy mom. We have a toxic relationship. I should be used to her pissing me off by now but i am on edge right now being sober and all. After i posted her it really helped. I just let it go. She texted me back anyway and was nice again. That's my mom!
Daria- I am on an antidepressant as well and i know it is not working as well as it should because of drinking. I hope it will start working better now. Good luck to you!
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Old 09-02-2015, 09:40 AM
  # 51 (permalink)  
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Jumping in, day 3 for me. I'm just absorbing what you all are saying right now. Trying to figure out how to make this my last attempt at quitting. I've been getting to day 5-7 lately and caving. Last week I thought you should really post before you buy beer, then went an did it anyway. Gotta say no to that voice and post asap when it starts.
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Old 09-02-2015, 09:41 AM
  # 52 (permalink)  
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Hi everyone. I am joining the September class and recommitting to sobriety. Life is better sober. I waste so much energy and money drinking and refuse to do it anymore. I went 5 months a few years back, and have had some shorter stints since then, but I need to cut it out of my life. I can't moderate no matter how many times I tell myself I can be strong, it never sticks. So I'm making this my last day one! I will remember how awful it makes me fee emotionally and physically. I will embrace a sober life!
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Old 09-02-2015, 09:50 AM
  # 53 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by MiaG View Post
This is me today as well! I also am with you on thinking that I end up drinking when I lose focus on the positives of not drinking and start thinking "Its not fair that other people can have fun" etc....funny how we forget the days like these and just end up focusing on the brief bit of fun!
I'm going to eat some very green spinach and pea soup and drink some herbal tea in the hope of having a better day tomorrow...hope you can do something similar
I hide in my house after binges too, I can generally make it to work because I own a business and can leave if I need to, but so many times I think I'm going to lose my business eventually by not taking care of it and hiding at home because I'm too hungover to live.
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Old 09-02-2015, 09:51 AM
  # 54 (permalink)  
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Seems so many of us are in a similar place... We love being sober yet seem to keep allowing ourselves to slip back into it. It's good to know not alone, I beat myself up so much, why can't I get it through my thick head what it does to me every single time????
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Old 09-02-2015, 09:59 AM
  # 55 (permalink)  
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Me too betterlife. Its an escape from the things that exhaust me in life, but they aren't as exhausting if I'm not drinking. Hardest thing is relearning how to relax. I'm bored with drinking and my drinking self, but drink because I'm bored. So I'm formulating a plan. This is a good time because with the kids back in school the routine gets switched up. This weekend will be difficult. 3 days off, holiday weekend.
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Old 09-02-2015, 10:18 AM
  # 56 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by forabetterlife View Post
Seems so many of us are in a similar place... We love being sober yet seem to keep allowing ourselves to slip back into it. It's good to know not alone, I beat myself up so much, why can't I get it through my thick head what it does to me every single time????
It's so easy to forget....and, for me, I feel surrounded by people drinking so that makes it hard.
I try not to beat myself up for drinking again, after 20 years of heavy drinking I've done well this year but its tough to deal with being back here again.
I might reread some of the Jason vale book someone mentioned earlier....that really helped me back in January... It's just how to keep that focus!
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Old 09-02-2015, 10:35 AM
  # 57 (permalink)  
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Hi all, I'm on day 3 here after last drinking into Sunday morning. Been a member of quite a few classes now and while I have managed months of sobriety at a time I've ended up relapsing. Getting more run down and despondent with each relapse so hoping this will be my last day 3 to get through.

Peace X
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Old 09-02-2015, 10:55 AM
  # 58 (permalink)  
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Yes, looks like a lot of us are on the very early days after relapsing (again and again). I am so full of shame after this last relapse and it's been a rough few days because of it. Day 3. Let's all lean on each other to get through the rough first week.
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Old 09-02-2015, 12:38 PM
  # 59 (permalink)  
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Count me in as a a relapser too, is that even a word? Lol. Man i hope i don't cave in. I feel on edge today. Have not felt this way in a long time. I am feeling like my anxiety is through the roof. Weird that i felt better anxiety wise when drinking. I guess this is the come down? It is so hard not to turn to the drink to cope with it. That is what i always did.
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Old 09-02-2015, 12:47 PM
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Hang in there needtostopthis.
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