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Class of September 2015

Old 09-11-2015, 08:57 PM
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Day 3 just about in the can. Hope all of you are well!
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Old 09-11-2015, 09:08 PM
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we are alcoholics, why are these threads not plagued by assholes?

nice group here.
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Old 09-11-2015, 09:27 PM
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I'm in! No drinking for me this weekend. Enjoying a relaxing sober Friday night. Hit the gym, ate a healthy dinner and now spending some time reading. No anxiety, guilt, and nausea for me tomorrow! Have a good one, folks! (oops, thought I posted this in the weekender's thread - I hope you all are doing well!)

Last edited by SwimKim12; 09-11-2015 at 09:37 PM. Reason: posted in wrong thread!
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Old 09-11-2015, 09:28 PM
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Good to see you wallup.
Hows's things?

Being a moderated board helps I think.

D
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Old 09-11-2015, 11:50 PM
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Originally Posted by matilda123 View Post
Hi all! Just checking in. Still afternoon here on the west coast of the u.s. Things are going well. My heart still feels a little fluttery from anxiety, but seems to be simmering down. Got an hour and a half in on a project that I've been putting off since it makes me feel anxious. That felt good. My new mantra when I feel anxiety about work now is, what action can you take? Before I would waddle in paralysis (and drown in wine) vs doing something, which always makes me feel better. Lol on the housework. I feel the same way. A few years back my partner and I broke down and got a house cleaner once a week. We both like a clean house, but neither of us live to clean after long days at work. And with two dogs, the place gets messy. It has been a relationship saver
"Waddle in paralysis and drown in wine"

I think that sums up my last 6-12 months, lol!

Day 6 here and feeling great.

Slept like a log last night, 10pm till 7am straight, can't remember the last time that happened!

Looking forward to doing some junk modelling with my 7 year old today, he's a minecraft fan and has started making his own animations from plastic figures (WAY above his age) so I'm going to make him a film set out of cardboard boxes, egg boxes, paint etc... I've always been a very hands on Mum but it'll be so nice to do it without a hangover!

Happy Saturday everyone!

Btw, planning ahead I'm going to drink spicy V8 tomato juice tonight as a treat and have a few pecan nuts, I still want my treats & rewards at the end of the day so need to ensure I have a variety of good stuff in the house : )))
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Old 09-12-2015, 04:44 AM
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Saturday night here and just about to watch the EPL. I've made it through the toughest part of the week and I've been in a fantastic, euphoric mood all day.
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Old 09-12-2015, 05:26 AM
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Good morning, Day 6 here. Very glad I didn't give into temptation last night but it's good to get through these tough spots. I love being sober more than anything and never regret when I decide not to drink!! I actually had a great sober Friday yesterday and really enjoyed being sober in the office on a Friday (when I've been hungover for many the past few months). I'm so glad it's Saturday - have a lot of things planned and they're all good. Yoga this morning, which my body needs badly after a long week. Have a great Saturday, all!!
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Old 09-12-2015, 05:36 AM
  # 468 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by wallup View Post
we are alcoholics, why are these threads not plagued by assholes?

nice group here.
Because we're in recovery
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Old 09-12-2015, 05:37 AM
  # 469 (permalink)  
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Saturday morning and I'm the only one up yet, it's a rainy grey outside, good day to just chill inside. I woke up thinking about how long I've been trying to quit drinking and how many attempts I have made. It's so sad that this has been something I've struggled with for so long.

What usually seems to lure me back in is this delusion that I can only drink on certain nights. Some event in the future will get into my head and I will start thinking that I will drink that night but then stop the next day until some other event. But of course it never works out that way. I need to find a way to push through this faulty logic. I can already feel my mind focusing on Thanksgiving for example.

Sobriety is so much better! I like myself better. I'm not much for religion but I can't help but believe in some kind of great creator, our universe and planet is just too amazing and organized and repetitive for their not to be something! I was thinking that whatever it is that made me be alive wouldn't want for me to be destroying myself and squandering this gift of life. To not have reverence for myself. It's very disrespectful to be self harming the way that I do.

The end of today will be a week for me.

Kelly- have fun trying on wedding dresses! And congrats on getting married!

foreverfuzzy- my son used to make stop motion films too but with lego! They were hilarious and a lot of fun
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Old 09-12-2015, 05:42 AM
  # 470 (permalink)  
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Good morning September Class

Its dark and cool here....although its supposed to mid 90's today. Ok summer, you can go now....just a couple more hot days I think.

I slept really light last night. I think I'm just so well rested at this point I don't need much sleep. Nights are tough so I usually sleep by 10:30 or so but I think I need to stay up a bit later.

Yoga this morning...per the usual. Walking doggies. I think I'll hit the farmers market if I can make it in time. After that? Ugh, not really sure. I'll have to come up with something.

Exbf sent me a pic of his puppy last night. So cute. Made me down but I'll be ok. Someone shoot this dead horse!

Have a great day all. Its up and its down in early days but drinking helps nothing.
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Old 09-12-2015, 07:06 AM
  # 471 (permalink)  
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Zen, that is my faulty logic as well. I get it into my head that I deserve it and it will only be this one day, but it never, ever ends up like that. Even just a couple of drinks (because of course it's never just one anymore) and I have fed and awoken the beast. The next day I wake up feeling "off" and practically count the hours to get off work so I can drink more. This goes on for days or weeks until I've had enough and I crave sobriety again.

This time around I am starting a journal to add to my toolbox of things to do/read when I'm in that "moment" where it feels impossible to talk myself out of drinking. I am also going to start meditating -- or at least attempting it. I am reading the "Willpower Instinct" and really enjoying the science and behind and suggestions to building our self control.

This is only day 2 for me. Slept a wonderful 9 hours of sober sleep last night so I'm feeling great but alcohol isn't so far behind me so I ,once again, need to rebuild my strength.
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Old 09-12-2015, 07:48 AM
  # 472 (permalink)  
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zenchaser, play the tape through. You know you can't drink one night and then stop. You know what will happen if you try. You know what to do.

"I will never drink again" can be a hard one -- it can come with some sadness and feelings of loss, so we want to believe there might be a day when we can moderate. But think about all you gain in sobriety. And seriously, moderation just doesn't work for us.
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Old 09-12-2015, 08:00 AM
  # 473 (permalink)  
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Good morning, everyone! So glad to hear everyone's updates.

I slept better last night, although I still woke up a bit. The great thing, though, is that when I did wake up, I just rolled back over and fell asleep. Lately, when I've been drinking, I just stare at the ceiling for hours with my heart pounding.

Today we are going to friends for dinner. They aren't big drinkers, but there probably will be alcohol there. I did talk to my partner about the fact that I'm not drinking again. He is supportive, as he has been in the past. I think the hardest part for him is that since I generally do my heaviest drinking alone, it isn't so clear to him what my problem is. One thing on my to do list and in my plan is to really sit him down and explain to him the extent of my drinking. It terrifies me to do that. Not that he will leave me, but the feeling of shame over it.

I, too, like to think that I can have one glass of wine by the pool or a single cocktail while at a trendy bar. And I actually can. The problem is that isn't where I stop, and before I know it, I'm drinking a bottle of wine by myself.

Hope all of you have a great day!
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Old 09-12-2015, 08:24 AM
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Originally Posted by matilda123 View Post
I generally do my heaviest drinking alone, it isn't so clear to him what my problem is. One thing on my to do list and in my plan is to really sit him down and explain to him the extent of my drinking. It terrifies me to do that.
Most alcoholics are scared to let their loved ones know the extent of their problems, but generally (at least for me) it was no surprise to most that I had a drinking problem. Others seem to be in denial about my problem. My boyfriend is often in denial about the extent of my problem (he thinks I should just learn to stop at a couple drinks... he doesn't get it even though he has seen the destruction). Give your guy a chance to be supportive anyway - mine is and it has been a major aspect of my support system. He might surprise you
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Old 09-12-2015, 08:33 AM
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Checking in.... Day 4 for me and last night was a serious struggle. My AV was loud and unrelenting, but I prevailed. Slept better, but OMG, night sweats were brutal! Woke up today feeling great, like I'm making progress. Hope everyone is well!
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Old 09-12-2015, 08:36 AM
  # 476 (permalink)  
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Had a great day, watched my youngest play football, spent hours making a film set for my eldest animations (I love craft so no hardship there!) then I went picking blackberries with my youngest, he said "can we have apple and blackberry crumble for pudding tonight." And then out of nowhere the word TONIGHT just hit me.

What does TONIGHT even mean anymore if alcohol isn't involved? I mean I don't want it but I just think my body is totally brainwashed into equalling evening = drinking and nothing else.

I'm not going to drink but I can see how I'm going to need some major brain retraining.
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Old 09-12-2015, 09:20 AM
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Originally Posted by Frixion View Post
Most alcoholics are scared to let their loved ones know the extent of their problems, but generally (at least for me) it was no surprise to most that I had a drinking problem. Others seem to be in denial about my problem. My boyfriend is often in denial about the extent of my problem (he thinks I should just learn to stop at a couple drinks... he doesn't get it even though he has seen the destruction). Give your guy a chance to be supportive anyway - mine is and it has been a major aspect of my support system. He might surprise you
My bf is the same way. He just doesn't get it that I'm wired differently than he is. He drinks almost everyday but he rarely has more than 4, mostly only 2. For me 4 drinks and I would just be getting warmed up and I never stop until it's all gone or I can't get anymore. And no matter how much I drink I never feel really really drunk.... I can drink all day and keep fairly level whereas he can't and gets drunk. My body just processes it differently. Sometimes it's hard to watch him drink and I resent having to clean up his empties in the morning. What I started out trying to say is that he thinks I can drink but that I should just drink less..... I know in my heart that I'm not capable. I don't want to either. If I drink I want to go balls to the wall! Lol. None of this 2 drinks crap!

The truth is that one you go pro there is no going back to amateur! Everyone retires after they've gone pro. Time for me to retire.
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Old 09-12-2015, 09:23 AM
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Cali those night sweats are brutal. I haven't had them in awhile but oh boy are they ever gross. Hopefully you've sweated out all those toxins and tonight will be a better sleep for you.
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Old 09-12-2015, 09:33 AM
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Originally Posted by matilda123 View Post
I did talk to my partner about the fact that I'm not drinking again. He is supportive, as he has been in the past. I think the hardest part for him is that since I generally do my heaviest drinking alone, it isn't so clear to him what my problem is. One thing on my to do list and in my plan is to really sit him down and explain to him the extent of my drinking. It terrifies me to do that. Not that he will leave me, but the feeling of shame over it.
This is very common for many of us. I did almost all of my daily drinking when my spouse wasn't around, after she had gone to bed or during the day while she was out. She said that she had no idea that I felt that I had a problem with alcohol. Five months later, and I still really have not fully explained everything. The sense of shame is difficult to admit and overcome.
You can do this!
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Old 09-12-2015, 09:47 AM
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Yup. Same. I told my GF 75% of the story.
Left out adding alcohol to my morning coffee or even taking a swig then add to coffee. I also left out that I had a bottle in the car and made drinks while driving.

Those nuggets are between me, God, and ya'll.
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