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Old 09-07-2015, 01:32 PM
  # 241 (permalink)  
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That's where I ended up too, but from beer. Blacking out every night, yet trying to continue life as "normally" as possible. Gah, sobriety has been a long time coming.
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Old 09-07-2015, 01:42 PM
  # 242 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by kellymh24 View Post
Well, Im hitting day 1 again. Quit drinking yesterday at 3am and slept all day. Serious fuzzy brain today. Tired of hating myself. Tired of having to say sorry to someone every time I drink. Sorry that a hangover doesn't mean recover and move on, it means drink more and worry about recovery and the hangover tomorrow.
It gets old working so hard towards being successful at work only to be a failure at home.
Itsalsogetting old adding drugs into the drunkeness because I've been getting drunk so long something else to make it worse sounds like a good idea.
I quit last year for 5 months and they were the best months ever.
Just got to get home without stopping at the LQ on a Thurs or Fri these days. Biggest trigger days.
I hope finding friends here can help me through the tough times.
Thanks for listening. <3
Same here, carrying on and trying to be successful with my business and school through a fog of wine, adding in drugs a couple times a year.
Not good, it needs to end and needs to end now
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Old 09-07-2015, 02:10 PM
  # 243 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Jsbodhi View Post
Same here, carrying on and trying to be successful with my business and school through a fog of wine, adding in drugs a couple times a year.
Not good, it needs to end and needs to end now
Yeah,I wish I could just have one drink. Unfortunately, now I need at least 12 shots ov vodka. Not healthy
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Old 09-07-2015, 02:13 PM
  # 244 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by kellymh24 View Post
Yeah,I wish I could just have one drink. Unfortunately, now I need at least 12 shots ov vodka. Not healthy
At one point I was at 2 bottles of wine in a sitting, several times a week, definitely not good, I can't have 1 either.
I realized I don't even want just one, I loved daydreaming about being a person who has one glass and calls it quits. I have managed it, but it was torture; not even worth it
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Old 09-07-2015, 02:18 PM
  # 245 (permalink)  
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Great to read everyone's sober day stories.

Sorry to hear about the relapses. What are you guys going to do different this time?
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Old 09-07-2015, 02:30 PM
  # 246 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Jsbodhi View Post
At one point I was at 2 bottles of wine in a sitting, several times a week, definitely not good, I can't have 1 either.
I realized I don't even want just one, I loved daydreaming about being a person who has one glass and calls it quits. I have managed it, but it was torture; not even worth it
My fiancÚ can have just one. Makes me so jealous.
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Old 09-07-2015, 02:33 PM
  # 247 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by kellymh24 View Post
My fiancÚ can have just one. Makes me so jealous.
Almost everyone I know can have just one, that's one of the reasons I'd sit at home drinking alone, I know that sitting and having just one with them would be misery
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Old 09-07-2015, 02:34 PM
  # 248 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Jsbodhi View Post
Almost everyone I know can have just one, that's one of the reasons I'd sit at home drinking alone, I know that sitting and having just one with them would be misery
I prefer going out and drinking way more than one with the responsible ones. Then I get to feel extra stupid the next day.
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Old 09-07-2015, 02:37 PM
  # 249 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by kellymh24 View Post
I prefer going out and drinking way more than one with the responsible ones. Then I get to feel extra stupid the next day.
Haha, I used to, then it dawned on me everyone else was having just a couple drinks and I was wasted, I thought everyone was drunk too; so I started taking it home so people didn't know
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Old 09-07-2015, 02:47 PM
  # 250 (permalink)  
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Back from my swim party! There was beer and wine (eep!) there, but I stuck to the n/a drinks. Had so much fun swimming and hanging out with everyone. And hey, no embarrassing antics!

Now just killing time before I get some food and get settled in for the game. The game that I will actually remember!
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Old 09-07-2015, 03:47 PM
  # 251 (permalink)  
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Since i last posted i have drank twice. Man, this is hard! The weekend and the holiday just got me. I never even went to another meeting. I am so tired now. I know i need to get myself to a meeting and soon.
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Old 09-07-2015, 03:52 PM
  # 252 (permalink)  
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So, day 2 here. Woke up feeling great.

Then at about 9:00 my wife found a hidden beer can in one of our closets. It's like a landmine from a past drinking session where I blacked out. Lord knows when I put it there, but it started a major fight. She said that she has lost all respect for me, etc.

I explained that that's why I quit, because I use drinking as a crutch for stress and anxiety and it's doing harm to me and our relationship... She still seems pretty upset.

Can't win for trying. I'm worried that if I manage to get 2, 3, 4 months of sobriety in, that she's going to find some stupid can somewhere and we'll get in another fight, she won't believe me, etc...
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Old 09-07-2015, 04:26 PM
  # 253 (permalink)  
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HI All.........I'm joining the Class. I had 5 alcohol free days under my belt before I slipped up yesterday. Day 1 again for me. It's almost over - Yay I made it.
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Old 09-07-2015, 04:29 PM
  # 254 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by InsaneHeart View Post
Two gallons of lemon water in the fridge and now to keep my hands busy by getting this house clean! It's really hard to clean when you are hungover and have no energy.
My intention today was to clean house......but I scrapped that idea pretty quick after last night's drinking episode. Tomorrow is a new day and I will be sober. YAY!
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Old 09-07-2015, 04:37 PM
  # 255 (permalink)  
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I had some trouble getting up this morning - feeling the old regrets sneak in. But got up, did my tibetan yoga ritual, drank a glass of warm water with fresh lemon. Read a passage from Thich Nhat Hanh's book Fear, wrote in my journal and made myself smile. Went to work for a few hours and now am home. Sober. Thank you all being here.
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Old 09-07-2015, 04:56 PM
  # 256 (permalink)  
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Day 5. Still mood swings, but figuring things out.
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Old 09-07-2015, 06:14 PM
  # 257 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by FacingFuture View Post
So, day 2 here. Woke up feeling great. Then at about 9:00 my wife found a hidden beer can in one of our closets. It's like a landmine from a past drinking session where I blacked out. Lord knows when I put it there, but it started a major fight. She said that she has lost all respect for me, etc. I explained that that's why I quit, because I use drinking as a crutch for stress and anxiety and it's doing harm to me and our relationship... She still seems pretty upset. Can't win for trying. I'm worried that if I manage to get 2, 3, 4 months of sobriety in, that she's going to find some stupid can somewhere and we'll get in another fight, she won't believe me, etc...
FF...
You can't blame those who love you the most to lose a little trust. They are really hoping you mean it every time you say you quit. They desperately hope you're not lying every single time.

It's though because we, as alcoholics, have lied. A lot. We learned pretty quickly that we often get good results and get people off our backs of we gave them hope. We would give them hope that it's not as bad as they think. Or we would give them hope that we are done being irresponsible. We give them hope that we'll do our part.

It hurst every time we take that hope away. They become tired. Disappointed. They just roll their eyes when we say, "I want to be the man/women/husband/wife/father/son you need me to be. I'm sorry I let you down. But I PROMISE I'm going to be that person now".

Only to fail. As much as we may WANT to be that person, we fall right back to where we were. Hiding. Lying. Then we promise again. "this is it. I promise".

Those promises become harder and harder to swallow. So yeah....if she finds a can hidden two months from now...she's going to get upset. You can't blame her.

The only way out.....
Stop drinking. Period. That's it. Days later, weeks later, months later...maybe years later, she'll see that you stuck to your promise this time.

You CAN do it. It IS worth it. It's much better being a person people can trust. To be wanted, trusted, respected, loved. By our wives, by our children, by our family, and by our friends. It's MUCH better. It's what's really important in life. Nothing else really matters. But ya gotta earn it!

And YOY CAN DO IT!
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Old 09-07-2015, 06:43 PM
  # 258 (permalink)  
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Really feeling awful. Why did i drink? I am not sick physically but mentally i am all messed up. Will i ever be normal again?

Yellowyellow- I had bad mood swings too and was so irritable and now i have to start all over again and get through it.
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Old 09-07-2015, 06:49 PM
  # 259 (permalink)  
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Hi
I joined SR in August, sober since June. Someone suggested I join the August class but there was so much to catch up on I thought this might be easier. So I guess I'm class of September. Hope that's ok?
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Old 09-07-2015, 06:49 PM
  # 260 (permalink)  
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Day 3 but, although I drank last Wedneday, and Thursday I won't really be tested until Friday and Saturday. Get through my first weekend and I should be ok for a while.

Don't know if I had been subconsciously thinking about quitting but 3 weeks ago I totally cut out coffee and all processed sugar, totally cold turkey. I think doing this has put me in a good frame of mind for sobriety.
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