Class of September 2015
Well, Im hitting day 1 again. Quit drinking yesterday at 3am and slept all day. Serious fuzzy brain today. Tired of hating myself. Tired of having to say sorry to someone every time I drink. Sorry that a hangover doesn't mean recover and move on, it means drink more and worry about recovery and the hangover tomorrow.
It gets old working so hard towards being successful at work only to be a failure at home.
Itsalsogetting old adding drugs into the drunkeness because I've been getting drunk so long something else to make it worse sounds like a good idea.
I quit last year for 5 months and they were the best months ever.
Just got to get home without stopping at the LQ on a Thurs or Fri these days. Biggest trigger days.
I hope finding friends here can help me through the tough times.
Thanks for listening. <3
It gets old working so hard towards being successful at work only to be a failure at home.
Itsalsogetting old adding drugs into the drunkeness because I've been getting drunk so long something else to make it worse sounds like a good idea.
I quit last year for 5 months and they were the best months ever.
Just got to get home without stopping at the LQ on a Thurs or Fri these days. Biggest trigger days.
I hope finding friends here can help me through the tough times.
Thanks for listening. <3
Not good, it needs to end and needs to end now
Yeah,I wish I could just have one drink. Unfortunately, now I need at least 12 shots ov vodka. Not healthy
I realized I don't even want just one, I loved daydreaming about being a person who has one glass and calls it quits. I have managed it, but it was torture; not even worth it
At one point I was at 2 bottles of wine in a sitting, several times a week, definitely not good, I can't have 1 either.
I realized I don't even want just one, I loved daydreaming about being a person who has one glass and calls it quits. I have managed it, but it was torture; not even worth it
I realized I don't even want just one, I loved daydreaming about being a person who has one glass and calls it quits. I have managed it, but it was torture; not even worth it
I prefer going out and drinking way more than one with the responsible ones. Then I get to feel extra stupid the next day.
Haha, I used to, then it dawned on me everyone else was having just a couple drinks and I was wasted, I thought everyone was drunk too; so I started taking it home so people didn't know
Back from my swim party! There was beer and wine (eep!) there, but I stuck to the n/a drinks. Had so much fun swimming and hanging out with everyone. And hey, no embarrassing antics!
Now just killing time before I get some food and get settled in for the game. The game that I will actually remember!
Now just killing time before I get some food and get settled in for the game. The game that I will actually remember!
Since i last posted i have drank twice. Man, this is hard! The weekend and the holiday just got me. I never even went to another meeting. I am so tired now. I know i need to get myself to a meeting and soon.
So, day 2 here. Woke up feeling great.
Then at about 9:00 my wife found a hidden beer can in one of our closets. It's like a landmine from a past drinking session where I blacked out. Lord knows when I put it there, but it started a major fight. She said that she has lost all respect for me, etc.
I explained that that's why I quit, because I use drinking as a crutch for stress and anxiety and it's doing harm to me and our relationship... She still seems pretty upset.
Can't win for trying. I'm worried that if I manage to get 2, 3, 4 months of sobriety in, that she's going to find some stupid can somewhere and we'll get in another fight, she won't believe me, etc...
Then at about 9:00 my wife found a hidden beer can in one of our closets. It's like a landmine from a past drinking session where I blacked out. Lord knows when I put it there, but it started a major fight. She said that she has lost all respect for me, etc.
I explained that that's why I quit, because I use drinking as a crutch for stress and anxiety and it's doing harm to me and our relationship... She still seems pretty upset.
Can't win for trying. I'm worried that if I manage to get 2, 3, 4 months of sobriety in, that she's going to find some stupid can somewhere and we'll get in another fight, she won't believe me, etc...
My intention today was to clean house......but I scrapped that idea pretty quick after last night's drinking episode. Tomorrow is a new day and I will be sober. YAY!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: maine
Posts: 158
I had some trouble getting up this morning - feeling the old regrets sneak in. But got up, did my tibetan yoga ritual, drank a glass of warm water with fresh lemon. Read a passage from Thich Nhat Hanh's book Fear, wrote in my journal and made myself smile. Went to work for a few hours and now am home. Sober. Thank you all being here.
So, day 2 here. Woke up feeling great. Then at about 9:00 my wife found a hidden beer can in one of our closets. It's like a landmine from a past drinking session where I blacked out. Lord knows when I put it there, but it started a major fight. She said that she has lost all respect for me, etc. I explained that that's why I quit, because I use drinking as a crutch for stress and anxiety and it's doing harm to me and our relationship... She still seems pretty upset. Can't win for trying. I'm worried that if I manage to get 2, 3, 4 months of sobriety in, that she's going to find some stupid can somewhere and we'll get in another fight, she won't believe me, etc...
You can't blame those who love you the most to lose a little trust. They are really hoping you mean it every time you say you quit. They desperately hope you're not lying every single time.
It's though because we, as alcoholics, have lied. A lot. We learned pretty quickly that we often get good results and get people off our backs of we gave them hope. We would give them hope that it's not as bad as they think. Or we would give them hope that we are done being irresponsible. We give them hope that we'll do our part.
It hurst every time we take that hope away. They become tired. Disappointed. They just roll their eyes when we say, "I want to be the man/women/husband/wife/father/son you need me to be. I'm sorry I let you down. But I PROMISE I'm going to be that person now".
Only to fail. As much as we may WANT to be that person, we fall right back to where we were. Hiding. Lying. Then we promise again. "this is it. I promise".
Those promises become harder and harder to swallow. So yeah....if she finds a can hidden two months from now...she's going to get upset. You can't blame her.
The only way out.....
Stop drinking. Period. That's it. Days later, weeks later, months later...maybe years later, she'll see that you stuck to your promise this time.
You CAN do it. It IS worth it. It's much better being a person people can trust. To be wanted, trusted, respected, loved. By our wives, by our children, by our family, and by our friends. It's MUCH better. It's what's really important in life. Nothing else really matters. But ya gotta earn it!
And YOY CAN DO IT!
Really feeling awful. Why did i drink? I am not sick physically but mentally i am all messed up. Will i ever be normal again?
Yellowyellow- I had bad mood swings too and was so irritable and now i have to start all over again and get through it.
Yellowyellow- I had bad mood swings too and was so irritable and now i have to start all over again and get through it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
Day 3 but, although I drank last Wedneday, and Thursday I won't really be tested until Friday and Saturday. Get through my first weekend and I should be ok for a while.
Don't know if I had been subconsciously thinking about quitting but 3 weeks ago I totally cut out coffee and all processed sugar, totally cold turkey. I think doing this has put me in a good frame of mind for sobriety.
Don't know if I had been subconsciously thinking about quitting but 3 weeks ago I totally cut out coffee and all processed sugar, totally cold turkey. I think doing this has put me in a good frame of mind for sobriety.
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