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Class of July 2013 Part 21

Old 08-30-2015, 11:29 PM
  # 121 (permalink)  
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Well, just had a really really long chat with Snooz.
Rehab will be tomorrow or the next day, and this is really the right thing for our lovely friend.

I know we all want the very best for her.
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Old 08-30-2015, 11:55 PM
  # 122 (permalink)  
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Thanks V

D
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Old 08-30-2015, 11:59 PM
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Thanks V.

Leshar, it's still good to see you post, even though it's a heavy burden you are carrying right now.
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Old 08-31-2015, 02:17 AM
  # 124 (permalink)  
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Thanks V

Hi my lovely friends. I've had the call , now I wait. They have me on high priority so maybe in the morning hopefully .

I was very emotional speaking to Rita who said I need to get in sooner rather than later.

I'm going to be totally honest with my alcoholic thinking here and share it with you.
Even though I know I'm going in sooner rather than later part of me is grieving and wanting to get get in as much alcohol as I can as I know it's about to stop.

This is how sad this disease is . Even though I loved my sobriety , I'm desperate to have more before it ends.

It's pretty sad really isn't it.

I know when I am well again I won't believe I ever thought this way.

It's such an insidious disease.

I love you all very much and NEVER want any of you to ever feel as I do now. It escalates so dramatically there is no pause button.

Learn from me ....this is no fun ..it's totatlly exhausting waking up and wanting to drink.

I actually left my workplace at lunchtime yesterday to go and get a drink to settle me at lunchtime .

See it just gets worse and worse , that's why they call alcoholism a progressive disease ...it progresses into sheer hell ...don't be mistaken .

Lord just grant me some peace , please .
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Old 08-31-2015, 02:20 AM
  # 125 (permalink)  
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(((Snoozy))) ♥♥

I love you sweetheart...and you fill find that peace.
And you will look back on this nightmare and know that it is truly behind you.
Onwards girl! You can do this.
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Old 08-31-2015, 02:23 AM
  # 126 (permalink)  
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It's a bleak place to be Wendy - and your inner addict will pummel you with fear and doubt and make that last hurrah sound like the sanest and safest thing thing in the world.

I understand too why you had the siren call yesterday and drank - I did stuff like that too.

This is scary stuff, even tho it's a move forward...but please - don't listen to that voice tonight - it's done.

Its reign of terror is over

Be safe and be ready for that call tomorrow whenever it comes, ok?

This is the cusp of a new beginning Wendy - but also a return to the real you

God bless
D
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Old 08-31-2015, 02:42 AM
  # 127 (permalink)  
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Snooz, you purge away your thoughts here. There's no shame in it, we've all had those crazy thoughts.

My last day drinking this year, I showed up for work hungover on a new contract ( still half drunk, to be honest). And that scared me. Because that's where I was on July 26, 2 years ago - how could I let the beast grip me so hard, yet again? Break down every scruple I'd built up in the past 2 years?

But that's how alcohol snuck up on us in the first place. You really are safe now, and I agree with Dee's post wholeheartedly.
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Old 08-31-2015, 03:03 AM
  # 128 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SnoozyQ View Post
Thanks V

Hi my lovely friends. I've had the call , now I wait. They have me on high priority so maybe in the morning hopefully .

I was very emotional speaking to Rita who said I need to get in sooner rather than later.

I'm going to be totally honest with my alcoholic thinking here and share it with you.
Even though I know I'm going in sooner rather than later part of me is grieving and wanting to get get in as much alcohol as I can as I know it's about to stop.

This is how sad this disease is . Even though I loved my sobriety , I'm desperate to have more before it ends.

It's pretty sad really isn't it.

I know when I am well again I won't believe I ever thought this way.

It's such an insidious disease.

I love you all very much and NEVER want any of you to ever feel as I do now. It escalates so dramatically there is no pause button.

Learn from me ....this is no fun ..it's totatlly exhausting waking up and wanting to drink.

I actually left my workplace at lunchtime yesterday to go and get a drink to settle me at lunchtime .

See it just gets worse and worse , that's why they call alcoholism a progressive disease ...it progresses into sheer hell ...don't be mistaken .

Lord just grant me some peace , please .
hug ......I wish and your family the best while you are gone. You can do it.
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Old 08-31-2015, 03:46 AM
  # 129 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
It's a bleak place to be Wendy - and your inner addict will pummel you with fear and doubt and make that last hurrah sound like the sanest and safest thing thing in the world.

I understand too why you had the siren call yesterday and drank - I did stuff like that too.

This is scary stuff, even tho it's a move forward...but please - don't listen to that voice tonight - it's done.

Its reign of terror is over




Be safe and be ready for that call tomorrow whenever it comes, ok?

This is the cusp of a new beginning Wendy - but also a return to the real you

God bless
D
Yes Dee , it's over , it's finally going to be over. I need to find out what my higher power is now. I don't believe inGod anymore ( I don't think ) ( I just don't know) I had it shoved down my neck as a young catholic girl. I had a fear of God

I don't know what I need to be honest , what even is a higher power if you don't know what you believe in ?
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Old 08-31-2015, 03:52 AM
  # 130 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Croissant View Post
Snooz, you purge away your thoughts here. There's no shame in it, we've all had those crazy thoughts.

My last day drinking this year, I showed up for work hungover on a new contract ( still half drunk, to be honest). And that scared me. Because that's where I was on July 26, 2 years ago - how could I let the beast grip me so hard, yet again? Break down every scruple I'd built up in the past 2 years?

But that's how alcohol snuck up on us in the first place. You really are safe now, and I agree with Dee's post wholeheartedly.
Crois thank you for your patience and limitless understanding of my thought process , oh geez , I can so identify with your new contract etc , why the hell do we sabotage what can possibly be so good for us ???
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Old 08-31-2015, 03:52 AM
  # 131 (permalink)  
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Well Snooz, you know a lot of what you believe in...you believe in honesty and integrity, and love and compassion. You believe in doing what's right, for yourself and others. You believe in kindness and you believe in giving your best.

I believe that when you do this, the universe gives you good things in abundance. There is meaning in all of this, and a power greater than every single one of us, even if that power just means all of us together. Because then we are strong, and that's something you can definitely believe in. ♥
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Old 08-31-2015, 03:55 AM
  # 132 (permalink)  
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I love that Venus ? But how can love and compassion be a higher power , isn't a God or a being a higher power? I just don't understand it at times xx
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Old 08-31-2015, 03:57 AM
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I think that being in touch with these feelings, the things that make us who we are, bring us closer to our understanding of a higher power. You don't have to have all of the answers right now love...they will come. All you have to do now is what you are doing. Trust the process, get well, and watch the miracles unfold.
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Old 08-31-2015, 03:59 AM
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Old 08-31-2015, 04:00 AM
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Thanks darling Venus, I hope I'm my old self this time in 8 or 9 days xx
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Old 08-31-2015, 04:02 AM
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Snooz I didn't get a chance to wish you luck

Love you Snooz i think your a star & doing the right thing by going were here for you all the way

Hi Leshar I'm so sorry you feel the way you do it isn't right as you have done so much to help yourself with holidays hospitals dates etc you deserve a big stretch of happiness and I hope you find solace with us Julyers we stick together one for all all for one

I love you Julyers very dearly
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Old 08-31-2015, 04:02 AM
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Letitgo , I'm so thrilled to see you have hung around our thread and are our new Julyers xxx we LOVE. Having you here , ps , I want be whining forever lol , I promise you xx
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Old 08-31-2015, 04:02 AM
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Aussie Girl power who rahh!!
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Old 08-31-2015, 04:03 AM
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I didn't mean to upset you with the God thing Wendy.

When I got sober I had no faith or love for God - my higher power were my friends here at SR and my loved ones....they reminded me of the heights to which human beings can aspire.

John Lennon was always on about all you need is love, and Paul McCartney wrote about the love you take is equal to the love you make.

I think love very definitely can be a higher power - I know you love your girls very much, and they you...and I know you want to give them their mum back.

If nothing else, it's a good starting point I think

best wishes

D
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Old 08-31-2015, 04:09 AM
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I am indebt to SR Snoozy..i am all alone and it feels great to have people to reach out to. As ladybug said in a meeting last week we don't physically know eachothe but we all do know each other. We are all humans striving out best to change our habits and we can all relate and understood what an urge is or hitting the f it button. Thank you for welcoming me to the class. I hope you can keep us updated on you progress
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