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One Year and Under Club Part 48

Old 09-08-2015, 05:46 AM
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Good morning. Looks like a really great group over here. Looks like I could learn a lot. Mind if I join? Amp can vouch for me . He and I are quit buddies. Same day. 4/20/2015 (edit typo). Happy Birthday buddy!
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Old 09-08-2015, 06:01 AM
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Welcome, InControl! Any buddy of Amp's is a buddy of ours :-)

In my view, this group provides some unique perspectives We are all flexing our sober muscles, learning to grow as sober folks and enjoying getting to know others in the same situation.

In addition to the "Undies" as we are affectionately known, some of us are also members of the over 1 year crowd who "Pop-over" here. Just last month I reached my one-year milestone so I enjoy both perspectives.
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Old 09-08-2015, 08:03 AM
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Welcome Incontrol!

Just checking in. Woke up with a sore throat hoping it's just the dry hot weather we are having and that I'm not actually getting sick.

Have a great day undies
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Old 09-08-2015, 08:12 AM
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Hey Inc! Great to see you over here!!!
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Old 09-08-2015, 09:39 AM
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BF, I hope your throat feels better very soon!
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Old 09-08-2015, 09:45 AM
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Welcome to the Unders, Incontrol15!

All is well here. Four months sober today. Had a lousy day at work yesterday, hoping tonight is better. Nothing much to report. Life is pretty quiet at the moment, and I'm quite OK with that.
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Old 09-08-2015, 11:49 AM
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Congrats on 4 months, Casey!
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Old 09-08-2015, 12:32 PM
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Yes...congrats Casey! I'm your #1 fan. Really happy for ya.
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Old 09-08-2015, 12:43 PM
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Checking in Undies! Speaking of health issues... and abstinence.... My blood pressure was a perfect 100/60 today at my physical! Its used to be 120/80. So happy to be healthy and not drinking anymore!
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Old 09-08-2015, 01:50 PM
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Congrats on 4 months CaseyW!

I'm with you on the quiet life vibe. All is relatively calm here too at the moment, im enjoying it whilst it lasts.

I am finding myself at a loss sometimes when I'm getting home from work lately, as I have been so used to coming in and immediately slobbing in front of the tv with my destruction of choice. I have to plan things more now, or at least have a rough idea of what I want to do after work. It's just nice to have some proper me time after a day in the office and I am using it as such now so that I feel rested by the time bed time approaches.

Day off tomorrow. I have pledged that I am going to cook my family a nice meal in the evening. First I have to go get the ingredients so it should keep me busy and out of trouble for the best part of the day.

Roll on day 56.
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Old 09-08-2015, 05:05 PM
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Hey guys! I've have been absent for a while. I was on vacation for 12 days and started back to work today! Had some away days and some stay days, but good to not have to work for 12 days--days! . It's all good here. 50 days and chugging along. Worked through the depression that had a death grip on me. Finally it eased up during my vacation and I actually took a nap! I am not a nap person. Anyway I am trying to catch up being absent for such a time. I hope everyone is doing well. If you're not please don't give up! Nobody said it was going to be easy they said it would be worth it!
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Old 09-08-2015, 06:04 PM
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That's great, KeyOfC! Happy to hear your depression is lifting. You sound positive.
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Old 09-08-2015, 06:55 PM
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Congrats, Casey!!!!!!!!! Quiet is good!
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Old 09-08-2015, 08:56 PM
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Thanks for the kind words everyone. Four months is cool. I'm looking forward to two weeks from now--day 138 will be officially twice as long as I've ever been sober before. Well, since I took my first drink back in 1999, I mean. I know some people here don't like counting days or milestones, but it appeals to the organized side of my mind. Though, of course, I also know that today, now, and the present is always the most important day of all.

Work was lousy again tonight (just very very slow, didn't make near enough money, September is always a bad month in my business) but no thoughts or craving to drink. It's nice that's not my go-to solution anymore. Heck, it's not even way on the far end of reasonable possibilities. Just not an option anymore.

I'm off the next 2.5 days and plan to go to as many AA meetings as possible and spend the rest of my time off reading. I just finished one really great novel--The Teleportation Accident by Ned Beaumann--and have two other very enjoyable novels going now--The Switch by Elmore Leonard and When We Were Orphans by Kazuo Ishiguro.

The "ABC Song Title" thread on the Word Game forum here on SR has gotten me back into trying to organize my music collection in a big way. I've got a couple of big hard drives just crammed full of a mess of music that's unorganized. I love listening to music while I read. Great way to spend a lazy afternoon.

Wishing you all the best!
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Old 09-08-2015, 11:49 PM
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Congratulations Casey, a third of a year, that's mega! I needed to count days early on, and like you had previous personal bests to better. I only count months now, but being around SR daily keeps my mind on my fight and prevents me getting blasť about my sobriety.
I used to do the ABC song title, I loved how it threw up titles I had long forgotten!

Good to see you here Inc. this is a great group of folk.

KeyofC I'm glad you are feeling - and sounding happier!

3Bs what are you cooking tomorrow? I too found it difficult to think of something to do instead of vegging in front of the TV with a drink, now I tend to read more, write some and perhaps study a part time course.

Keep on keeping on Undies
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Old 09-09-2015, 12:04 AM
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Hey guys! Yesterday was my first sober birthday in almost 30 years. I wanted it to be a great day and was looking forward to celebrating sober but in the end it turned out to be a little disappointing. Work was a stress and though I left early I was fielding calls and messages all the time. Took the family down town and everyone got in a kind of stupid argument about what kind of food we should eat and I was feeling nervous and started getting cravings to drink. That's rare these days and I felt disappointed in myself. Like even thinking about it is letting myself down.
Anyway all of that started feeding into a kind of depressed mood that started off when I watched Boyhood on Monday night. It's such a beautiful movie but it threw up a lot of emotional stuff for me. In the end I couldn't wait to get home and get to bed. I felt I'd let everyone down and what was supposed to be a lovely afternoon and evening was just a downer.

Never mind. So glad I didn't drink. Another test coming up on Saturday at a big family wedding so gearing up for that one (and the 10 hours on the road!!!) over the next couple of days!

Ok! Venting over!! That's better!!! Thanks for being here guys!
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Old 09-09-2015, 05:17 AM
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I'm sorry Amp. I experience the same emotions. It's kinda like going through puberty all over again. Events like those can often come with high expectations and if they aren't met, then we get emotional real quick.

It's funny you mentioned the boyhood movie. I've been wanting to see that, but I have fears for what what you experienced. You may recall I was messed up emotionally after watching inside out. That movie really hit a chord with me. In that case it drove home what my boys are experiencing through divorce. I cried a lot. The next day I was still an emotional wreck.

It's just who we are for now. We'll level out for sure. Our brains and emotions are still rewiring.

I think a big part of recovery is learning how to deal with those emotions. The emotions come and then we respond in a certain way. The sooner we figure out healthy and productive responses, the sooner we level out. Trial and error. Either consciously or subconsciously, we are learning.

Where you are stronger now then before is that you didn't turn to alcohol to deal with them. You allowed yourself to live through them and you dealt with them naturally. If your response did not produce the results you desired, then you learned something. Again...either consciously or subconsciously.
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Old 09-09-2015, 05:46 AM
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Amp, might it help to think of that as another milestone you reached - having a crummy day that you expected and wanted to be a good one and yet not caving? Sometimes for me it helps to remember that this is a brain-biological problem rather than a moral issue. Cravings can still occasionally pop up unexpectedly but it isn't as hard to resist.
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Old 09-09-2015, 03:55 PM
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Casey - I think goals and milestones are important! I'm glad you're feeling centered as you continue to work toward your goal.

Really insightful posts Amp, Incontrol and Saskia.

Amp - I can relate to the challenge of keeping my expectations and acceptance aligned with each other. I've found that when I have heightened expectations it's almost always a recipe for trouble - simply because it means that I'm not practicing acceptance, feeling gratitude for the moment I'm actually in.

Incontrol - I like your parallel between recovery puberty. For me, recovery is the first time I realized I didn't have all the answers, and that I needed to mature and grow up! I've referred to myself as solidly 19 in my maturity (a far cry from my actual age!!) Oh, and welcome to the thread. Happy to have you here!

Saskia - You bring up a good point about the important milestone of dealing with a crappy situation or disappointment without picking up.

I'm fascinated by your discussion about feeling like a moral failure when you kept picking up in active addiction. I've been hard on myself too. When I learned to start looking at myself - and my failures and successes - rationally, I lightened up a lot on myself.

We show others how to treat us. There's no no coincidence that when I feel good about myself, I find I feel good about the way the people in my life treat me. I can deflect the hurtful stuff and let it roll away.
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Old 09-09-2015, 11:17 PM
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Amp, don't feel bad about craving, it is a physical as well as a psychological response, one you have no control over. The way you deal with any craving though, is your choice and you chose not to drink. To me that makes you a winner.
I'm sorry that your birthday wasn't as you would have wished, sometimes we put too high an expectation on something and feel let down when it doesn't turn out to be perfect. If you feel at fault, be a man and apologise. Maybe have 'birthday 2.0 ' at the weekend, planning ahead of the trip where you will eat & what you will do?

Great post Arry.

Hey Sass, how are you sleeping these days?

Glee, I had zero self respect and plenty of self loathing just before I quit, in fact it was my inability to look myself in the eye that really enforced the desire to quit, I was fed up of hating myself for allowing myself to be a drunk.

Milestones are reminders of what we are achieving, some might be little ones, some way more substantial,, but each time we have a success, our spine gets a little straighter. We cannot expect respect and love from others if we don't feel it for ourselves, but as Glee says, once we begin to love and respect ourselves, we ought demand no less from those around us. How we feel about ourselves affects how others treat us, but equally, how others treat us affects how we feel about ourselves. We do not deserve to be treated poorly by those who profess to care about us.
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