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One Year and Under Club Part 48

Old 10-06-2015, 05:28 PM
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Congratulations Saskia

D
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Old 10-06-2015, 05:40 PM
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Drake - I meant to say above, it's always a pleasure to see you pop in.

Saskia - Congrats on 14 months! I know you say that you feel like a sober baby, but you have a wealth of suggestions and advice that work, and a willingness to keep working on it. You may live in a retirement community, but you're showing no signs of retiring from your effort to be sober.
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Old 10-06-2015, 05:49 PM
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Ah Saskia! ((Hug))!! So proud of you! Congrats!
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Old 10-06-2015, 10:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Sadie1 View Post
I hear you, my husband is tender hearted too, so we had to say no to fostering anymore as we ended up adopting the ones with issues, so had to say no more. Have you tried Anxitane for your sprayer? That and Feliway have helped with our guy with that problem. Although feliway is such a rip it makes me mad, its cheaper on Amazon tho. Are you in Cali by chance? If so I bet we both have rescued from same shelters. We are lucky here in San Diego to have a good shelter system, LA is different story

Thanks for your care of the kitties! And best to you with sobriety.
I've never heard of anxitane--I'll check it out! Yeah I always have feliway plugs, do get them on Amazon, but they're still expensive. I try to have them in after I've done a lot of cleaning and want it to stay that way for awhile! Like the holidays. Also in times when a cat is stressed. Wish we had those for us--although I swear I get calmer when I'm in a room with them plugged in.
Originally Posted by Fradley View Post
Hello,


Just checking n to stay accountable and say hi to everyone. Loving the milestones from two weeks to ninety days to ten months.

I can't seem to shake this fatigue but am otherwise doing well on a conscious level. I am noticing that I am not thinking about drinking at all some days - if that makes sense.

On another level I am anxious still that this is all a guerrilla tactic by my AV to lower my guard so it can pounce and get me.

Home life is evidently better and business is improving - undoubtedly due to me being more present and balanced.

Challenges will emerge in a few weeks from now when my in laws will move permanently nearby, followed by visits from my mother, then long lost brother from overseas. All are huge triggers previoulsy resulting in heavier than normal drinking. I feel ready to face this but am not looking forward to it.

I'm also petrified of relapsing and the consequences if I do. Even though I know I sm in control and nothing can make me pick up a drink if I don't wish to ( which - just for the sake of typing it out - I do not wish to do)

I think I need to get some extra help lined up and have been considering AA or counseling.

I'm not keen on the idea of AA as I don't have any religious beliefs whatsoever and it will be also be practically difficult for me to make any meetings on a regular basis ( I have checked out venues etc).

Counseling is more of an option but expensive and seems to me to be an unjustifiable luxury to explain to Mrs Fradley when cash is currently so tight.

To put the latter in context we could have three nights away on a farm with the kids fir the same price as two hours counseling.

And boy do we need a little holiday !

That said, I feel if I don't get help in some form, I may fall and never get up again, losing everything.


So in one sense I am totally sorted , 120 days sober and a much better man for it...
... But simultaneously I am still edging along a cliff trying not to look down, unsure of when the path may become safer.

SR is all I have ( and I am truly grateful to all of you for keeping me safe and true ) , but...

... But what ?

Am I paranoid and overthinking this? Or wisely preparing for a struggle?

Stay well everyone and thanks for listening

Fradley
I'm the same as you on the religious aspect, but I think you're smart to anticipate the stress. Don't forget us here whatever you decide. My schedule is everywhere as well. I like the idea of counseling too but have no idea about the cost and hours are cut back so bad at work I just don't know. My deductible is met this year though, and my coverage is 85%. Something free is online diary. I think it helps.



Originally Posted by Saskia View Post
Since it's almost tomorrow, I'll just note that tomorrow is 14 months sober for me. I'm so grateful and happy. Life isn't roses every day but every day I am sober is a much better day for me :-)
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Old 10-06-2015, 11:28 PM
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Saskia! So happy for you! 14 months is brilliant!
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Old 10-07-2015, 01:17 AM
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Hi undies. I have some catching up to do around here.

Sas congrats on 14 months!

I've been staying busy hanging out with my sober friend. We bought some fishing poles and did some fishing off the pier tonight. Didn't catch anything but we didn't have the right bait. One guy caught 5 little sharks in about an hour. Lots of people had those metal pots out catching some lobsters. Gonna get some stuff and try that as well this weekend.

Off to get a few hours of sleep before its time for a busy womp day tomorrow
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Old 10-07-2015, 05:01 AM
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Sass, congrats on your clean and sober time !!
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Old 10-07-2015, 05:14 AM
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Congratulations on 14 months Saskia!

gleefan, could joy be something that happens from inside when you can finally stop chasing it?
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Old 10-07-2015, 05:35 AM
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Congrats on 14 Saskia!

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Old 10-07-2015, 07:13 AM
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Woohoo Saskia!! ((Hug))!
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Old 10-07-2015, 08:06 AM
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Thanks, all of you! I feel measurably better sober, in so many ways. I couldn't do it without my dear friends on SR!
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Old 10-07-2015, 08:24 AM
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Drake - What????

I couldn't resist. From one person whose struggled with hearing to another - good luck at the ear doctor. I've spent many hours in the ear doc's chair over the years. My childhood ear doctor's son played J Peterman on Seinfeld. That's my claim to fame!
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Old 10-07-2015, 09:36 AM
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Hello,

Apologies for this rushed note but I wanted to check in and share.

Thanks entirely to the supportive and thoughtful advice I got from fellow undies I went to my first ever AA meeting last night.

This led to a heartfelt discussion with Mrs F afterwards which allowed me to let her know, officially, that I am taking this seriously and I never want to drink again.

All my fears were unfounded, I received a friendly welcome and was able to share a little at the meeting. I will go again next week and maybe on Saturday if I can make it.

I feel very hollow today, but in a good way. This was an important thing for me to do although I had not realised. It until I posted that i felt I neede to go on Monday.

More later,

Thanks again and well done Saskia on 14 months.
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Old 10-07-2015, 10:04 AM
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So happy for you Fradley (hug)! That hollow sounds does sound nice.
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Old 10-07-2015, 11:34 AM
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That's great, Fradley! I'm glad you decided to go and making a commitment to Mrs. Fradley is a huge step :-)
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Old 10-07-2015, 03:48 PM
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Sounds like a really great step forward Fradley

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Old 10-07-2015, 11:34 PM
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Well done Fradley! Happy for you
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Old 10-08-2015, 01:21 AM
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Big brave positive step Fradley. Emotional outpourings are exhausting so give yourself time. Well done X

BeFree love the sound of the fishing!

Sass hugs sweetie, I am so proud to have you as my friend X

Keep on Keeping on Undies, you are the best!!
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Old 10-08-2015, 05:29 AM
  # 479 (permalink)  
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Fradley...that is awesome. That's a huge step. Actually BOTH going to AA AND talking to Mrs Fradley. That's huge for you and very important for your recovery. Emotionally you'll be more comfortable in your own skin now and confident with your decisions.

It's kinda like how do we respond when somebody asks if we want a drink. There came a point when I could say, "No thank you. I quit alcohol." No stories or lies. Simple. I quit. And heaven forbid if they ask why, because they are gonna hear it! Of course they'll just hear that I was beginning to drink too much and I didn't like the way it made me feel for a day or two afterwards, etc. they're not gonna hear I was drinking vodka with my coffee!! Lol.

But the point it....
My confidence spiked. It really helped me be proud of what I was doing and cemented my sobriety even more.

Good for you buddy.
Keep on trucking.
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Old 10-08-2015, 06:07 AM
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Kudos, Frad on 3 fronts. AA mtg, sharing at mtg and the serious talk with your spouse. The first of the many AA cliche's to hit home with me was, We are only as sick as our secrets". Life for me started getting easier when I adopted that principal.

Have a nice day, Undies. It is a golf day for me .

Carlos
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