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Class of August 2015 Part 4

Old 08-27-2015, 03:01 PM
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Yes, I went missing. Yes, I am back, on day 1. Spent most of last night in the ER with acute pancreatitis. It's a miracle they didn't admit me, but they sent me home with the strong admonition to QUIT DRINKING and come back to the ER if I have another attack. Worst pain ever. I have had twinges of pancreatitis before, but this was truly horrible and is something I never want to experience again.

So, I really do not have a choice now. This is a tipping point. I was almost here already but I guess I needed one more dose of reality to drive the point home. Still in the class of August, but just barely. Feels like coming home. Thanks for putting up with me.
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Old 08-27-2015, 03:49 PM
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Welcome to all the newcomers! Stay strong!

Day 18 for me and the urges and self pity are much more bearable today. I went to another meditation session at a local Buddhist temple last night. It was so good. Much more helpful for me than an AA meeting. And I meditated this morning. Physically today was strange. I felt shaky after my usual 2 cups of coffee and the low blood sugar kind of feeling persisted throughout the day. That's a new one for me.
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Old 08-27-2015, 04:43 PM
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Elizke, pls reread was Casey posted.
You do NOT have to take the first drink.
Day 1 people, thank yourself for the courage it takes to be on day 1.
There's never an easy 1.
----- I don't know if I slid by, they didn't get to me, or it's in my head cause today was ultra weird day. Either way it's another 24hrs I'm sober and I'm beginning a short term goals list to focus on instead of the BS I can't do anything about !
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Old 08-27-2015, 04:56 PM
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Hello fellow August 2015-ers. I have been lurking for a while but finally decided to post. Today is day 11 for me. I am still having crummy sleep patterns and crazy mood swings. There are plenty more withdrawal issues but those have been the most bothersome up until now.

I have had no big cravings for alcohol yet, but I do want to drink from time to time to feel "normal" even though I know that is not really normal at all. One big caveat to my sobriety is that I am a whiskey chemist (I test whiskey for purity daily), so that is a challenge even though beer was my alcohol of choice. But then again I have never drank at work, so why would I start now.

I am really happy (as happy as a person in withdrawal can be) to be sharing this struggle with all of you. I am proud to be in the August 2015 class even if I wish I would have come to this realization long before, it is never too late. Keep up the good fight everyone and thanks for all the great things I have read thus far. I look forward to posting and sharing more as I progress through this challenge.
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Old 08-27-2015, 05:27 PM
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Welcome to SR, coloradochemist, and congrats on day 11.

I also work around alcohol on a daily basis (I'm in the restaurant/bar business) so I can at least somewhat identify with your situation. I just have to view alcohol as something that's meant for other people. I've already imbibed more than my fair share of it, enough to last me the rest of my life.

Wishing you the best and hope you'll make these forums and this class in particular an important part of your own recovery plan. I would not be sober today if it wasn't for the good folks in the Classes of May 2015 and July 2013. Asking them for help when I needed it and helping others when I could has been the cornerstone of my own recovery so far.
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Old 08-27-2015, 05:31 PM
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Praise report. Nater the 2 yr old, is officially feeling better. Scared us to death from the immunization reaction. Back to his bam-bam, knucklehead self.
Typing this makes me think : is there an 'old' self I can even stay sober and get back to? I asked a 60 yr old co-worker if he'd like to return to his 20s, as we watched some young guys click out at work. He told me " not my 20s" . They were too hard he said. Lots of chemicals and alcohol.
After so many yrs of drinking, no wonder I feel lost most of the time !
Sleepy thought - goodnight folks
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Old 08-27-2015, 05:31 PM
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For all those struggling I just want to encourage you to keep on with this - there really are no answers back the way we came.

It's hard now for sure, but it gets easier...people told me that here and some days I would run on that faith alone, but I got there in the end.

You guys can too

D
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Old 08-27-2015, 05:40 PM
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All the moods!
I'm starting to wonder if I'm just a huge bitch when I'm not drinking. I am exhausted and don't want to be nice to anyone. Sorry. Day 11 under the belt... Off to melatonin land I go... Must bake for the masses tomorrow.
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Old 08-27-2015, 05:47 PM
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Welcome to the class coloradochemist.

Coleiope, don't apologize. 11 days is great. Take care of yourself.
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Old 08-27-2015, 05:48 PM
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I'm willing to bet you're not...mood swings are very very common...but they settle down

and Welcome ColoradoChemist

D
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Old 08-27-2015, 06:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Yogapants View Post
Day 18 for me and the urges and self pity are much more bearable today. I went to another meditation session at a local Buddhist temple last night. It was so good. Much more helpful for me than an AA meeting. And I meditated this morning..
Well done on Day 18 YP. I've also been exploring Buddhism and Mindfulness meditation. And like you, I find the Buddhist spiritual approach more helpful than AA and the 12-Step process. The Buddhist beliefs regarding cravings, attachment and impermanence really resonated with me in a way that the 12-Step spiritual approach did not. (Note: I have nothing against AA or the 12-Steps, but after thoroughly "investigating" the 12-Step process, I realized that approach is not for me.)

At present I'm at 2x9minutes of meditation each day and I try to read/study at least a little Buddhist material each day However, so far, I'm doing this on my own. Unfortunately there doesn't appear to be a decent Buddhist center in my little burg, so the internet and books are my sources at present. And that's not really a bad thing, as there is a wealth of information out there.

For anyone here who may want to explore spiritual and philosophical methods but did not find AA and the 12-Steps helpful, I highly recommend looking into Buddhism. Speaking only for myself, Buddhist ideas and practices have given me a very different and very helpful way of looking at life and sobriety.
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Old 08-27-2015, 06:45 PM
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Originally Posted by Coleiope View Post
All the moods!
I'm starting to wonder if I'm just a huge bitch when I'm not drinking. I am exhausted and don't want to be nice to anyone. Sorry. Day 11 under the belt... Off to melatonin land I go... Must bake for the masses tomorrow.
I get it. I was at 11 days yesterday, and last night, I turned into a angry monster. It takes time for our minds and bodies to adjust, so I'm confident my mood will improve with time.
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Old 08-27-2015, 06:47 PM
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Welcome Colorado.
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Old 08-27-2015, 06:49 PM
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Originally Posted by Retread1959 View Post
Yes, I went missing. Yes, I am back, on day 1. Spent most of last night in the ER with acute pancreatitis. It's a miracle they didn't admit me, but they sent me home with the strong admonition to QUIT DRINKING and come back to the ER if I have another attack. Worst pain ever.
Hi Retread. I'm glad you're OK.
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Old 08-27-2015, 06:52 PM
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Originally Posted by Time2Rise View Post
For anyone here who may want to explore spiritual and philosophical methods but did not find AA and the 12-Steps helpful, I highly recommend looking into Buddhism.
I've always wanted to learn more about Buddhism. I used to go to a temple back home right after my mom died. They saved me from the deepest depression I've ever had.

Where do you learn online? I can't seem to find any good website
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Old 08-27-2015, 06:54 PM
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Originally Posted by Time2Rise View Post
Hi Retread. I'm glad you're OK.
Thanks. I am, too.
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Old 08-27-2015, 06:56 PM
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Originally Posted by kittycat3 View Post

Anyone else also quitting cigs? Or other stuff?
Yes, I'm 11 days off of booze and cigarettes. I'm not sure which has been harder for me to quit. I was never a daily drinker, but cigarettes were my go to stress reliever. But so far the cravings have all but disappeared for both. So at this point, I'm OK without alcohol or cigarettes.

However, food--especially junk food--is another matter
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Old 08-27-2015, 08:02 PM
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Don't deny yourself the junk food quite yet

Someone asked about sleep, thankfully mine is ok ( not great) so I can't help with that much.....

I had a nice walk and then a healthy dinner tonight. Also a good chat with a friend. I am craving cigs, more than booze, although I had a few thoughts today about how I'll do this or that without drinking (future-tripping.) focusing on one day at a time is all I can do right now!

Still feeling some regret about Monday, worried about bumping into someone I saw that night, gah. I'll be so glad when I get past this double life stuff.....and can hold my head high with pride again.
Hugs to all, this is tough stuff guys, go easy on yourself if you feel crabby. Remember that sobriety is a gift and we have a chance to do this right this time! I don't mean to sound smug or Polly-Anna, but after my Monday night binge I feel so scared at what can happen when I drink, and I'm just so done with that feeling, I can handle anything else but that....ugh.
Good night gang
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Old 08-27-2015, 09:17 PM
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Originally Posted by patricia68 View Post
I've always wanted to learn more about Buddhism. I used to go to a temple back home right after my mom died. They saved me from the deepest depression I've ever had.

Where do you learn online? I can't seem to find any good website
Various sites Patricia. One site I use often is buddhanet.net. Use the "Buddhist Studies" drop down menu for a information regarding Buddhism. In addition, I've been reading posts at the dhammawheel.com forum. And I also checked out Buddhism for Dummies from my local library. I found it to be a good introductory text.

For my mindfulness mediation techniques, I read this shortish article by the Vietnamese monk, Thich Nhat Hanh http://www.mindful.org/five-steps-to-mindfulness/. It's a basic guide and I used it to jump right into mindfulness mediation by starting with five minutes of mindfulness breathing meditation each day and then increasing the time by a minute every few days.
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Old 08-27-2015, 09:23 PM
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12 days done, and starting lucky 13 (I'm not superstitious in any way, so the number 13 doesn't bother me).

Well done to all of us who stayed sober today. Let's all remember that we are stronger than we believe we are--if you don't believe that, think back to a time when you rolled up your sleeves and accomplished something big because you really had no other choice. We all have had that experience at least once in our lives.
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