Class of August 2015 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,428
Hi friends. I am a bit worried today, my Day 14! Woke up anxious and first thought was planning on how I could just have one glass of wine today. I know its because of going back to work tomorrow, and my pattern seems to be Monday/Tuesday really tough. Sober sister Kitty, wont let down. So, Im rested, less anxious overall, and now AV is trying. NO! Jerk.
Retread, im with you on the job, its a conundrum. Great job, benefits, yet so wrong for me. I have experience only in this industry, too old for something else, but cant just retire. Do not enjoy sales, yet can fake it I guess, I do well. Blech. Still waiting till year end to decide what to do. Hope my brain is healed by then and better at decision making, just cant seem to plan out future right now other than dont drink. Anyone else having cognitive issues? Mainly short term memory.
BBG , yes, not another detox for you, did you write down all that nasty business? I did and will read it again today. Gonna reread post from 2 weeks ago too when I wanted off the planet.
Off to beach quick before the tourists and screaming kids arrive. Best to all! I will post if I feel weak, permission yell at me please. Thank you all!
Retread, im with you on the job, its a conundrum. Great job, benefits, yet so wrong for me. I have experience only in this industry, too old for something else, but cant just retire. Do not enjoy sales, yet can fake it I guess, I do well. Blech. Still waiting till year end to decide what to do. Hope my brain is healed by then and better at decision making, just cant seem to plan out future right now other than dont drink. Anyone else having cognitive issues? Mainly short term memory.
BBG , yes, not another detox for you, did you write down all that nasty business? I did and will read it again today. Gonna reread post from 2 weeks ago too when I wanted off the planet.
Off to beach quick before the tourists and screaming kids arrive. Best to all! I will post if I feel weak, permission yell at me please. Thank you all!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 101
Stay strong Sadie! You can do it!
I'm at 4 weeks today. Anxiety and restlessness are way down. I'm enjoying waking up sober. And feeling a lot better physically too.
Daughter and I made chicken fajitas for dinner last night. Yum! I cleaned the grill this morning. Note to self: do not wear a white T-shirt while cleaning the grill
I'm at 4 weeks today. Anxiety and restlessness are way down. I'm enjoying waking up sober. And feeling a lot better physically too.
Daughter and I made chicken fajitas for dinner last night. Yum! I cleaned the grill this morning. Note to self: do not wear a white T-shirt while cleaning the grill
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: California, USA
Posts: 277
Sadie, you're going to be fine. The AV is doing what it always does in early recovery but you're stronger and smarter than that. Swat those intrusive thoughts away like the annoying gnats they are and keep choosing a better and healthier life!
Oh, the job, I could go on and on. I am too old to start over at work (and too old to put up with the crap I get from work) so have decided instead to put together a business plan and start networking to get clients of my own. If I cash out my retirement in about seven months, it will give me enough to live for three years while I ramp everything up. Yeah, it's scary, but killing myself slowly with stress in a dysfunctional organization is not an option. So, for the next seven months I lay some groundwork and then cut the ties come April. It's a relief to see an end to this in sight.
Yesterday I was sore as could be from my Saturday rides, but in a good way. I took a little drive downtown with my hubby and happened to drive past this new music place in town and saw that a band I've been wanting to see for a long time is playing in a couple of weeks. I got so excited that I immediately went online and bought tickets! Can't wait-- thought they were off in Europe or something and here they are sneaking around in my own backyard and never told me.
Ended up taking one Librium yesterday at around 2:00 in the afternoon-- prime drinking (and now craving) time for me on a weekend-- but that was it. Things are definitely getting easier. Day 12 is here. It's a holiday in the states so one more day before the grind begins anew! Enjoy your Monday, everyone.
Oh, the job, I could go on and on. I am too old to start over at work (and too old to put up with the crap I get from work) so have decided instead to put together a business plan and start networking to get clients of my own. If I cash out my retirement in about seven months, it will give me enough to live for three years while I ramp everything up. Yeah, it's scary, but killing myself slowly with stress in a dysfunctional organization is not an option. So, for the next seven months I lay some groundwork and then cut the ties come April. It's a relief to see an end to this in sight.
Yesterday I was sore as could be from my Saturday rides, but in a good way. I took a little drive downtown with my hubby and happened to drive past this new music place in town and saw that a band I've been wanting to see for a long time is playing in a couple of weeks. I got so excited that I immediately went online and bought tickets! Can't wait-- thought they were off in Europe or something and here they are sneaking around in my own backyard and never told me.
Ended up taking one Librium yesterday at around 2:00 in the afternoon-- prime drinking (and now craving) time for me on a weekend-- but that was it. Things are definitely getting easier. Day 12 is here. It's a holiday in the states so one more day before the grind begins anew! Enjoy your Monday, everyone.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,087
Retread, congrats on the self employment decision. Not sure what to say, except if possible ensure you have a bit of a nest egg saved up before you embark on that journey, and never spend it unless it's absolutely critical. It can be a bit of a roller coaster. That, and try to ensure have the emotional support necessary to put yourself through what's required to make a good living self employed.
Last time I had a "real job" I was 19, and raking dirt for $8/hour. I've been all over the spectrum. From making $500/month to making $50k/month, and every where in between. It can get stressful at times, but definitely a path I don't regret choosing. All the best with your new company!
Also, not to sound like a nagging mother here, but please be careful with the Librium usage. Just read up on it, and sounds as though it's a pretty powerful drug, plus one that's amongst debate within the medical community.
Anyway, all the best.
I need to get some sleep -- big day tomorrow.
As a side note, you know what sucks? I can't get this out of my mind, and it's been bugging me. 3 days ago was walking to the pet store, and this lady from the market calls me over. I've never seen her that I can remember, but she's obviously seen me quite a few times (I'm white, so stick out *shrug*).
She calls me over, and in the tone of a concerned mother proceeds to ask me what my problem is, and why I always look so sad. Bloody hell, is my depression really that obvious from the outside? I thought I kept it pretty well hidden, but I guess not.
I could understand the shop owners around here seeing that, because they at least somewhat know me, but her? I've never talked to her before in my life. I mean, thank you for showing concern and everything, but geez. Anyway, doesn't really matter, as that's all changing starting tomorrow.
Last time I had a "real job" I was 19, and raking dirt for $8/hour. I've been all over the spectrum. From making $500/month to making $50k/month, and every where in between. It can get stressful at times, but definitely a path I don't regret choosing. All the best with your new company!
Also, not to sound like a nagging mother here, but please be careful with the Librium usage. Just read up on it, and sounds as though it's a pretty powerful drug, plus one that's amongst debate within the medical community.
Anyway, all the best.
I need to get some sleep -- big day tomorrow.
As a side note, you know what sucks? I can't get this out of my mind, and it's been bugging me. 3 days ago was walking to the pet store, and this lady from the market calls me over. I've never seen her that I can remember, but she's obviously seen me quite a few times (I'm white, so stick out *shrug*).
She calls me over, and in the tone of a concerned mother proceeds to ask me what my problem is, and why I always look so sad. Bloody hell, is my depression really that obvious from the outside? I thought I kept it pretty well hidden, but I guess not.
I could understand the shop owners around here seeing that, because they at least somewhat know me, but her? I've never talked to her before in my life. I mean, thank you for showing concern and everything, but geez. Anyway, doesn't really matter, as that's all changing starting tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: California, USA
Posts: 277
Thanks, Troy. It's very scary, but very exciting. My nest egg should be sufficient if I'm not stupid about how I spend money while I'm working things up. I intend to develop a three-year plan that will include time for networking, portfolio building, etc., but also time for holding down some sort of part-time job as needed. There's a good chance I can come back on where I currently work as an independent contractor, as well. I have some connections in a different department where their needs better suit my skills, so that's something to work on while I'm still there. A 50% contract with that department would probably be ideal while I ramp up everything else.
Librium is an old drug that is not often used outpatient anymore but is still used a lot in inpatient care for alcohol dependency. I promised my doctor I'd take it only as directed and am doing a good job of that. He said he'd rather see me taking this than ending up with another pancreatitis episode because I drank again, and I agree, since the pancreatitis is life-threatening. So for now I'm okay, and I appreciate your concern. If I start popping them frequently I'll have to reassess my behavior and probably would toss them out at that point.
Librium is an old drug that is not often used outpatient anymore but is still used a lot in inpatient care for alcohol dependency. I promised my doctor I'd take it only as directed and am doing a good job of that. He said he'd rather see me taking this than ending up with another pancreatitis episode because I drank again, and I agree, since the pancreatitis is life-threatening. So for now I'm okay, and I appreciate your concern. If I start popping them frequently I'll have to reassess my behavior and probably would toss them out at that point.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 98
Quickie post
Still here still sober, I can't binge watch anymore netflix so starting on a new book 'I am pilgrim' homeland meets Bourne identity. I lost my love for books when drinking..I was far too buzzy and hyper to concentrate and read. Longer post tomo
P.s how do I quote sections of someone's post in my reply? I am extremely techno rubbish
Still here still sober, I can't binge watch anymore netflix so starting on a new book 'I am pilgrim' homeland meets Bourne identity. I lost my love for books when drinking..I was far too buzzy and hyper to concentrate and read. Longer post tomo
P.s how do I quote sections of someone's post in my reply? I am extremely techno rubbish
Urban Hermit
Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 1,586
Originally Posted by brighterlife 
P.s how do I quote sections of someone's post in my reply? I am extremely techno rubbish
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,075
Don't worry too much about the lady from the market Troy, maybe she was just trying to make conversation, maybe she was hitting on you! 
Hey, your hairdresser thought you were cute, and I would trust a hairdresser's opinion (last time mine convinced me to cut my hair short and she was right! I look younger! lol)
Hey, your hairdresser thought you were cute, and I would trust a hairdresser's opinion (last time mine convinced me to cut my hair short and she was right! I look younger! lol)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Colorado
Posts: 55
Hello August Class! I hope you all are well - I have found everyone's strength and progress highly encouraging. I don't post a lot myself but do keep up with how everyone is doing. I'm on day 22, and what a ride it's been. Finding ways to fill up the time that was formerly spent drinking is pretty crazy. I suppose I never really understood that there were actually 24 hours in a day! Wow! Have a great and productive week August class!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 98
Finding ways to fill up the time that was formerly spent drinking is pretty crazy. I suppose I never really understood that there were actually 24 hours in a day! Wow!
Can totally relate
I went into a time warp so many nights, it'd look at the clock and it would be 2am..I'll think how on earth did that happen? How am I going to get up for work? Why have I done it again? I hate myself etc. I would convince myself i would be sensible next time and completely believe I would be.
I love looking at the clock now and it's maybe 10pm and I know I've achieved more in that day than I ever would have before.
Can totally relate
I went into a time warp so many nights, it'd look at the clock and it would be 2am..I'll think how on earth did that happen? How am I going to get up for work? Why have I done it again? I hate myself etc. I would convince myself i would be sensible next time and completely believe I would be.
I love looking at the clock now and it's maybe 10pm and I know I've achieved more in that day than I ever would have before.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Ny
Posts: 739
Morning all,
Busy weekend so not much time to post but I read everyone's post.
JL... I hope you are well and I'm thinking of you..you can do this!
back to work today. Still hot here on Long Island but spent time with family at the beach and BBQ with moderately drinking friends. All went well.
Happy tuesday
Busy weekend so not much time to post but I read everyone's post.
JL... I hope you are well and I'm thinking of you..you can do this!
back to work today. Still hot here on Long Island but spent time with family at the beach and BBQ with moderately drinking friends. All went well.
Happy tuesday
Member
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Ky
Posts: 2,043
SEx To those struggling I pray you find your way through the muck. To those putting together a plan, good for you! To those like me dealing with depression keep pushing forward. I have good days and real bad days. It comes and goes like a light switch and without warning. I wonder if it's what bi-polar feels like? It's just that quick. Breathe in...you're fine--breathe out... depressed as crap. I too am finding it hard to post every day. After 12 days vacation it's back to work today. Booooo! I'm good at being home and taking care of that. I'll have more time to read now that I gave a computer screen in my face 8 hours a day.
Depression is at bay right now, thank God. It's draining. Hoping for a good day free from negativity!
Day 50 for me! Thankful for sobriety!
Depression is at bay right now, thank God. It's draining. Hoping for a good day free from negativity!
Day 50 for me! Thankful for sobriety!
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