MilitiARGH

Yeah it's awesome not paying bills. Gonna go stand on the street corner in 1980's glam rock clothing and lean into car windows.

"half and half for my phone bill, come on! It's a no-brainer"

benice

Yep. That sounds horrible. Don't mean to make light of it Militi.

MilitiARGH

Don't worry about it, I love laughing at myself. You're not out of line in any way.

PennyLane76

Militargh.... I had to google half and half.. Thought maybe it was UK term I didnt know, hah.

MilitiARGH

quick, wipe your search history before someone gets the wrong idea.

PennyLane76

quick, wipe your search history before someone gets the wrong idea.[/QUOTE]

Haha! The things I have googled from this site would make interesting reading for a forensics team.

Retread1959

Morning, all. Day 11 here. Yesterday was wonderful. I had a lesson in the morning and a trail ride in the evening and the weather was great. I'm really loving this new hobby of mine and I never think of drinking when I'm in the saddle, only how I can get better at this.

I sure am in a lot of pain this morning, though, with two weeks between rides. I have a drawer full of narcotics from the two ER visits but not touching those for this. That's not what they were prescribed for. Ibuprofen will do just fine.

Went to dinner after the ride with my riding partners and my husband joined us. It was a local tap room and everyone ordered beer. I hate beer. There was wine on the menu and, though I felt a few twinges of longing, that's all they were. I happily stayed NA and didn't even think about it beyond those initial pangs. It's definitely getting easier. I also did not take the benzos I was prescribed last night because i had no cravings. Slept like a baby

Retread1959

Hi Troy,

I think it's safe to say that no one here is going to cut you the slack to fool yourself into thinking that you can substitute one form of alcohol for another and be just fine. I nearly died from wine, not whiskey. It's worrisome that you make light of everyone's concern. Do you actually want to quit? If you do, it's going to take more than just switching out percentages of alcohol in the stuff you ingest. The only people I've ever heard of that successfully tapered were the old-timers of early AA who were spoon-fed tiny amounts of alcohol while tied to their beds so they literally would not die in seizure in the days before there were better treatments. No one does that now.

You might need medical help. You might need inpatient treatment; outpatient treatment like I'm getting might not be the best option for you. You don't sound like you're at all in a good head space to make this happen on your own.

Yes, we are concerned, and I'm glad you posted what you did because it helps us understand where you are on this journey. I hope you realize that we just want you to make it.

kittycat3

Benice, I'm sorry you have to pass on the gathering with friends. But I'm proud of you for knowing your limits and making the hard choice. I've had to do the very same in the past and while its hard at the time, you will wake up tomorrow and be grateful you put your needs first.

Troy lots of words of wisdom here. We want you sober and I agree with the others that beer isn't the answer. I can't add more to what the others have said other than to say I've been in a similar place and know first hand that abstinence from booze is the only way to dig yourself out of the hole......

kittycat3

Way to go retread! And coley! Great to hear about your sober successes!

Sadie we are on day lucky 13! Woo! No fear of slipping for me today. Enjoying a few days of r&r for the long weekend here in the U.S.....

bexxed

Sorry you're struggling, Benice. I understand. I did the same thing, when I knew that I would not be strong enough. The way I thought about it though, was... if my friends were contagious with a terrible disease and my immune system were down, or I hadn't had the vaccine, or my vaccine was out of date, etc, it would be a no brainer. You can tell them, someday, maybe. Either way, you know, that this is for you. I think it's good to take care of yourself. Kudos to you!

Dee74

I missed a few parties and stuff too benice - but I don't miss them now. It was a great investment in my recovery being cautious for a while.

and...some mod stuff...

just to remind you of the parameters of discussion as designated by the owners.

Noones in trouble, no posts removed, but your thread may be someones first experience of SR - & we ask everyone to please be mindful of that

thanks

Dee
Moderator
SR

GBluewater

I feel like I'm trying to get sober just as my life is falling apart. I'm living with a man that obviously just can't stand anything about me. I probably have been drinking the past decade to feel less of that.. But now that I'm not, it's completely intolerable.. Which I guess is good in the long run .. to realize this..but right now feels like the end of the world. Ugh .. I'm so tired and can't tell the difference between the relationship bad feelings and the trying to be sober bad feelings. I feel awful. Thank goodness for the long weekend. Sorry for the blubber..

vanaprastha

Take care of yourself GBlue. Blubber as much as you need to.

GBluewater

Thanks. I'm trying ..I ate smoked salmon and chocolate for dinner. Since I stopped drinking, all I seem to want are smoked salmon and chocolate.. And seltzer... But my thing was beer so the can of seltzer feels good in my hand. I know this could all be a new beginning for me eventually..But it feels like so much work. All at a time when I'm trying to carve out some quiet space to fix myself. Does the work ever end?

TroyW

No, it's life. It never ends until you're dead. There's never a shortage of work we could be doing to benefit ourselves and other's lives.

What you need is to find a proper balance between positive and fulfilling activities, and negative ones that take the energy out of you. If you don't have enough positive energy coming your way, then the things that take work are going to seem 100 times harder than they actually are.

It's completely individual, so whatever suits you. A nice cuddling session with your partner, a nice candlelit dinner once in a while, volunteer at the SPCA to be around some animals, volunteer at the library and do storytelling to kids, enjoy a nice bubble bath with those cool soaps, go to church, whatever.

Think of your heart like a gas tank. It needs to get filled up. It can't just run on empty all the time. Make sure you're doing what you can to keep it full, because it'll make the difficult times much easier, and give you the strength to face any challenges that may lay ahead.

Dee74

In a sense no - but lasting recovery is a lot different to what you're experiencing now.

It's no longer an ordeal for me or even a chore - it's like an automatic thing...

I try and make good healthy decisions, I try to be a good person, and I don't drink

I know this transitional phase is hard, but it's for a finite period - and you will come of the tunnel

D

Retread1959

Blubbering not only allowed here, but encouraged.

I have a sense of what you're dealing with. I'm making a lot of significant changes in my life and confronting some things-- sometimes it's very confusing with the emotions that unfold in early sobriety. I've found myself impatient, sometimes unkind, sometimes profoundly depressed, but I'm slowly seeing that recede and finding joyfulness in its place. The things you're dealing with now are not permanent and there are far better things waiting for you on the other side of them.

Willow3

Hi all. Not a lot of time to post and keep up but I'm still here and still sober. 38 days in. Hope everyone is doing well x

beerbgone

I'm in the same category with you Willow. I'm beginning day 35. I don't post a lot but I read the posts everyday.

It's funny that I've had so many failures at 3 to 4 weeks but this time around my AV hasn't bothered me at all. Maybe it's because I had such a hard detox time and that time is still vivid in my memory.

I will be ever vigilant. I know one drink and I'm back where I started!