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Class of August 2015 Part 4

Old 09-05-2015, 10:11 AM
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Day 11. I slept in today! 1 hour and 30 minutes of extra sleep. You have no idea how grateful I am!

I too want to eat all day long! Yesterday I bought lots of fruits, veggies, nuts, and yogurt for when I get these hunger attacks! Another great thing about quitting alcohol...I've become conscious of my food choices

Have a great day everybody!
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Old 09-05-2015, 10:43 AM
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Great to hear patricia! For me it was kind of the other way around -- I started paying more attention to my diet, and it seemed stupid to eat healthy but keep poisoning myself with alcohol. I also wanted to restart my meditation practice, but again, pointless while I was still drinking. Both of those things led eventually to the final push I needed to stop drinking.

Now that I'm sober, I'm back to the practice and paying even more attention to my diet.
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Old 09-05-2015, 11:20 AM
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Screwed up, and picked up whiskey in the past while. That's an absolute no-go zone for me, and isn't allowed under any circumstances.

Tapering off with beer tonight. I know I shouldn't be drinking anything whatsoever, but I don't care... I'm not going through another detox. Beer will keep my BAC high enough to avoid withdrawals, but low enough to allow my body to naturally metabolize the whiskey.

I think I subconsciously wanted this anyway, as I was getting too complacent. Onwards and upwards, as they say.
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Old 09-05-2015, 12:00 PM
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TROY, POUR THE WHISKEY OUT!!!!!!! Yes I am yelling and this is with remembrance of your last whiskey fest and my broken down mind last week. Stop! I seriously am worried! You are a wonderful person, you have helped me a lot, you reach out to others here, please, pour it all out.
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Old 09-05-2015, 12:11 PM
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Originally Posted by TroyW View Post
Screwed up, and picked up whiskey in the past while. That's an absolute no-go zone for me, and isn't allowed under any circumstances.

Tapering off with beer tonight. I know I shouldn't be drinking anything whatsoever, but I don't care... I'm not going through another detox. Beer will keep my BAC high enough to avoid withdrawals, but low enough to allow my body to naturally metabolize the whiskey.

I think I subconsciously wanted this anyway, as I was getting too complacent. Onwards and upwards, as they say.
Troy, please just stop. Talk to a doctor. Mine prescribed librium and told me to take it only just before the times I would normally crave a drink. It's helping and I'm taking it just as he directed, not abusing it. There are things you can do to help you get through detox without using alcohol. That's such a slippery slope. You can do this, we are all pulling for you.
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Old 09-05-2015, 12:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Sadie1 View Post
RETREAD. So excited for you riding, have fun!! Cant wait to hear about it. I am right there with you regarding pension plan golden handcuffs
Thank you. I had a blast! Did my first canter and I was so excited that I said "whoa!" meaning, whoa, this is awesome and the horse stopped dead in his tracks, LOL.

I do have a little pain in my side so I took one of the pain pills that supposedly wears off in 4 hours. That should be around the time I leave for my trail ride, which will be a lot less physically demanding since I doubt we'll trot or canter, just walk. I'm a little nervous about being on a new horse since I'm really starting to feel connected with my lesson horse. Should be an interesting evening.

Yeah, the golden handcuffs are tough and I'm having a hard time because I'm self taught in what I do, have tons of experience but no degree in it. Seems like that's what everyone wants these days. I'm working on a certificate so that I'll at least have some sort of credential but it may end up that I cash out my pension to strike out on my own. We'll see. It's scary and I haven't spoken with my other half about it yet; I know it will scare him too. But the job I'm in is going to kill me with depression, so I feel I have limited options. Just thinking about getting away from there makes me feel relieved.

I hope you can sort out what works for you, as well. The golden handcuffs are a pain in the rear, unless you're happy in your job.
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Old 09-05-2015, 12:33 PM
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Originally Posted by TroyW View Post
I'm not going through another detox. Beer will keep my BAC high enough to avoid withdrawals, but low enough to allow my body to naturally metabolize the whiskey.
That's your addiction talking Troy. I did that in the past in order to avoid vodka detox...my tapering lasted 6 months

You don't need alcohol Troy.

Whatever you are going through right now it will be 10 times worse if you drink. Please stay with us.
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Old 09-05-2015, 02:17 PM
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Sorry to hear you're at it with the whiskey, Troy. I hope you put it down if you want to. Withdrawals don't get better by adding more alcohol, you probably know this in some way. The booze can talk a good game, though.

Hope everyone's good. I'm gonna cook up some vegetables from the farmers market before work this evening. My body is screaming for vitamins. I just got some B complex based on some discussion I was reading here sometime recently.

xo-B
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Old 09-05-2015, 05:50 PM
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Just checking in on Sat evening. I think I may be coming down with something. I was really tired during our hike today and then ended up with a bad headache and a painful throat in the afternoon. Going to bed early and hoping for a better day tomorrow.

I've been thinking that it will probably take me a full year to feel truly recovered and free from my addiction. This way I will have gone through every holiday, vacation, potential situation, trigger, etc. and know that I can handle it without alcohol. What do you guys think? Especially those of you who have been recovered for a while. Does this make sense?
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Old 09-05-2015, 05:54 PM
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It's one of the worst alcoholic fallacies that beer is somehow better than other types of alcohol, Troy.

I nearly died on beer - alcohol is alcohol....

A while ago you were contemplating moving to be nearer to recovery facilities, medical help etc.

I think that's something you seriously need to consider.

I don't believe you don't care either. Drunken apathy is just drunken apathy.

Fight for yourself - you're worth it

D

Originally Posted by TroyW View Post
Screwed up, and picked up whiskey in the past while. That's an absolute no-go zone for me, and isn't allowed under any circumstances.

Tapering off with beer tonight. I know I shouldn't be drinking anything whatsoever, but I don't care... I'm not going through another detox. Beer will keep my BAC high enough to avoid withdrawals, but low enough to allow my body to naturally metabolize the whiskey.

I think I subconsciously wanted this anyway, as I was getting too complacent. Onwards and upwards, as they say.
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Old 09-05-2015, 07:45 PM
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Makes sense to me yoga pants, a year to do everything once sober. Yet even then I might have a ways to go. Recovery is just the first step, right?
Sadie yes we are wrapping up day 12, lucky number 13 tomorrow

Troy I'm sad to read your post and worried about you too, please check in. A slip doesn't mean you give up the fight completely.

Man I was fighting some depression earlier. I'm doing better now. Made it through. Gnight all
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Old 09-05-2015, 10:02 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
It's one of the worst alcoholic fallacies that beer is somehow better than other types of alcohol, Troy.

I nearly died on beer - alcohol is alcohol....
Nah, there's definitely a difference. Whiskey makes me crazy, whereas beer just makes me fat.

Thanks everyone for your concern, and I shouldn't have posted what I did. That was stupid of me. All is fine though. Again, I think I subconsciously did it on purpose, as I was getting complacent, and wanted to hold my feet to the fire a little.

Worked too, because I was out the door first thing this morning to visit the temple I had in mind. Unfortunately, they were having some type of community event there. Not sure -- loud speakers, someone giving a speech, market stalls setup in the grounds, etc. Will go back tomorrow and try again.

Went to the gym I want to check out, but it was closed. I think they only open in the afternoons. It's not one of those modern gyms they have in the malls, but more of a dilapidated hole in the wall filled with weights, bags, mats, etc. Depending on the people who frequent there, that's the type of place for me.

Got a haircut, and had sex with my hairdresser though, so I guess going into town wasn't a complete waste. *shrug* Pretty obvious from the beginning, but figured it out after he took 3 times as long with my hair as anyone else does. Really cute, sweet 30 year old guy too. Should really go back, and ask if I can take him to dinner some time.

It's been 20 months since my last relationship ended, and gotta admit, if I have to stay alone much longer I'm going to cut my ear off. Renting an extra apartment in the city that's sitting empty anyway, so would be perfect to use to get to know someone else.

Rented it during one of my whiskey fueled binges, when I thought a for pay boyfriend was a good idea. After I detoxed, realized that was a really stupid idea, but 6 month lease was already signed, so it sits empty. Might as well use the damn thing.
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Old 09-05-2015, 10:32 PM
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Troy. Whiskey is an old friend of mine as well, but don't you think you deserve better? Are you wanting to feel that same old disgusting pain? Sick stomach, pounding headache, blackout embarrassment, dehydration...regretting bad decisions... Are you purposely harming yourself? You should honor yourself. Sounds like you have your heart at the brink of a desirable path but you are holding on to an anchor that won't allow you to feel happy.

"We're our own dragons, as well as our own Heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves." -Tom Robbins
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Old 09-05-2015, 10:41 PM
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Also, I made it through the wedding, reception, all the festivities & even a dinner out with my family without drinking or smoking a cig! Okay at dinner I broke down and ordered an o'doules, but with wings and ribs, I couldn't deprive myself of that experience! Anyway, I'm feeling pretty decent about staying sober. My glum is lifting. My stomach is healing very well. I'm not guzzling water constantly in attempt to compensate. I think my mood is leveling out. I'm about ready to start working out again. Shorts season is almost over here in the Midwest, and my pants are not beer-belly compliant. Have a great Sunday every one!

"We're our own dragons, as well as our own Heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves." -Tom Robbins
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Old 09-06-2015, 05:43 AM
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Fantastic Coleiope! ( some of these usernames play havoc with my predictive text)
Well I've been feeling quite emotional lately. Very teary. They say the best thing about sobriety is your emotions come back and the worst thing is your emotions come back. It's ok though, I've gone through the sweats, shakes, anxiety, sugar craving, tiredness, eating lots often so I'm ready for this next phase
Troy tapering never worked for me. Wine and rum were my doc but booze is booze and any amount started my stinking thinking and prevented myself from embracing sobriety. Have you set a date? You can't put off the inevitable x
Day 18 today, took the dog to the forest for a mammoth walk...it's stopped raining!!!! Stay strong everyone
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Old 09-06-2015, 05:51 AM
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Originally Posted by brighterlife View Post
Fantastic Coleiope! ( some of these usernames play havoc with my predictive text) Well I've been feeling quite emotional lately. Very teary.
That was me last week. But not sad crying... More of a " that's so beautiful!" Crying. So I guess I'm happier than old me who wanted to drink in excess. I think boredom is my trigger. Mundane activities that aggravate me. Okay. I'm procrastinating yard work. Oh, Brighterlife, you walk sounds nice! What kind of dog do you have?

"We're our own dragons, as well as our own Heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves." -Tom Robbins
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Old 09-06-2015, 06:19 AM
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Great job on the wedding Colieope!!

Im struggling. Lots of thoughts from the AV about not having fun. Many friends we haven't seen in a while are meeting at a bar patio tonight. I know my AV has been so loud and tricky that if I go, I will order something. Can't do it. It makes me sad and mad that I can't be social. I don't like doing this to hubby either. He won't go if I won't. We haven't seen these friends in a long time.

Troy, I find it disturbing how your writing style deflects your drinking problem. Dee is right...beer is alcohol. My sisters boyfriend thinks like you. When he's in trouble, he puts down the whiskey and turns to beer. He's still a terrible alcoholic, just able to make sentences and stay awake. But a drunk just the same. Throw it all away, Troy. You can.

And I agree Brighterlife, your walk sounds GREAT!
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Old 09-06-2015, 06:40 AM
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Looks like I'm too late to edit my post. Just want to say I retread it and I see my AV coming through loud and clear. I was very social last weekend. I'm just not ready to meet friends at a bar. Well, that is easier to work with.
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Old 09-06-2015, 07:05 AM
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I would have slipped last night and today, if I weren't dead broke. Conflicted.
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Old 09-06-2015, 07:09 AM
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Good thing you're broke then. Always a positive side.
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