Blogs


Notices

Class Of December 2013 - Part 9

Old 09-20-2015, 05:52 AM
  # 81 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: kingston ontario canada
Posts: 655
I like the thought in your little box, Dee. Funny how that instantly recognizable Smith-Corona typeface can be so evocative of the past. I thought of it when I saw this quote on FB, and it seemed to mean something to me this particular morning:

“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know…nothing ever really attacks us except our own confusion. Perhaps there is no solid obstacle except our own need to protect ourselves from being touched. Maybe the only enemy is that we don’t like the way reality is now and therefore wish it would go away fast. But what we find as practitioners is that nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know. If we run a hundred miles an hour to the other end of the continent in order to get away from the obstacle, we find the very same problem waiting for us when we arrive. It just keeps returning with new names, forms, manifestations until we learn whatever it has to teach us about where we are separating ourselves from reality, how we are pulling back instead of opening up, closing down instead of allowing ourselves to experience fully whatever we encounter, without hesitating or retreating into ourselves.”

~ Pema Chödrön
jackrussell is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to jackrussell For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (09-20-2015), LBrain (09-21-2015), Vet69 (09-23-2015), zerothehero (09-20-2015)
Old 09-20-2015, 05:57 AM
  # 82 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: kingston ontario canada
Posts: 655
On the same note: it's day 4 for me of boozelessness. A rare excursion. Feels a combination of dying and being born. And much of what I've read here and stored away in some or other corner of my head seems to float into focus and witness my current state, which is a good thing. Onward!
jackrussell is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to jackrussell For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (09-20-2015), LBrain (09-21-2015), Vet69 (09-23-2015), zerothehero (09-20-2015)
Old 09-20-2015, 02:26 PM
  # 83 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,439
Blog Entries: 1
Onward indeed Jack - 4 days is great

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
jackrussell (09-20-2015), LBrain (09-21-2015), zerothehero (09-20-2015)
Old 09-20-2015, 06:15 PM
  # 84 (permalink)  
waking down
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,612
Four days. Right on.

Pema is right. It's that sense that our lives are unsatisfactory - that First Noble Truth - that gets us stuck. And then guys like me learn but soon forget then learn again and forget... That's where the practice comes in.

Saw this band the past two nights. They played their song, Smiling Like a Buddha on Saturday. One of my faves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3mV-Sfhbl4
zerothehero is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to zerothehero For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (09-20-2015), jackrussell (09-20-2015), LBrain (09-21-2015)
Old 09-21-2015, 01:03 AM
  # 85 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 451
Sounds like you're making a lot of progress clearing things out Brain.

We've lost a lot of people. It appears to be down to you, Zero, JR and me Tiger Lili and Muhv are gone. We used to have a nice lady named MariahGayle. She liked to garden. There were others. I hope we stick together. Coming here has meant a lot to me.
Vet69 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Vet69 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (09-21-2015), jackrussell (09-21-2015), LBrain (09-21-2015), zerothehero (09-21-2015)
Old 09-21-2015, 01:26 AM
  # 86 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,439
Blog Entries: 1
Mariah is still around

I expect Tiger Lilli to be back - she's been here a long time - her medical issues may be playing up?

It seems Muhv drops in when she can a few times a year - I hope she and all the other December peeps are doing ok

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
jackrussell (09-21-2015), LBrain (09-21-2015), Vet69 (09-22-2015)
Old 09-21-2015, 04:00 PM
  # 87 (permalink)  
waking down
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,612
Muhv thanked a post not a week ago, and I see Mariah on other threads. I think she just doesn't connect with the Dec 13 label. I keep saying I'll spend less time here, but it helps me to drop in every day or so. My sobriety seems solid enough, but my sanity not always. You guys are interesting characters, and good people.
zerothehero is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to zerothehero For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (09-21-2015), jackrussell (09-21-2015), LBrain (09-21-2015), Vet69 (09-22-2015)
Old 09-21-2015, 05:49 PM
  # 88 (permalink)  
Member
 
LBrain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,007
Blog Entries: 2
okay - why am I getting kicked out and to log in again after I try to post? dunno... good thing I copied it first - another ramble

I've been weening myself away from the forum. I found the hours would fly by and I wasn't getting much else accomplished. I haven't watched any TV in a good two weeks. Even if she watches something in the evening I will pick on the mando upstairs.
I am starting to get rid of things but it seems I'm hardly making a dent. We've gone on hikes three weekends in a row and want to do at least one a week together. Now I'm in full gear for getting the lawn reseeded. And it's getting dark early now.
I'll still check in, I do spend time on the internet learning about things and also getting in the mindset for ebay. I'm not keen on it, but it has its merits.
I have the Earthpeople band playing in the background. I like the sound.
Mrs LB is officially working 3-1130 afternoon shift now. And she is starting her continuing education taking courses from Drexel University. So that means I am mostly on my own. Except I make her dinners and pack her lunch. I'm hoping to slowly get away from that since we won't have any set schedule. But she reminds me that she always had dinner ready when I came home from work at night - even though it was only 7 nights every five weeks.
Have a good week.
LBrain is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to LBrain For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (09-21-2015), jackrussell (09-22-2015), Vet69 (09-22-2015), zerothehero (09-21-2015)
Old 09-21-2015, 06:57 PM
  # 89 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,439
Blog Entries: 1
okay - why am I getting kicked out and to log in again after I try to post?
Do you have the 'remember me' box ticked?
Attached Images
File Type: png
membame.png (5.0 KB, 11 views)
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Vet69 (09-22-2015), zerothehero (09-21-2015)
Old 09-22-2015, 01:55 AM
  # 90 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 451
For my password? Yes, thanks.
Vet69 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Vet69 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (09-22-2015), LBrain (09-23-2015), zerothehero (09-22-2015)
Old 09-22-2015, 03:18 AM
  # 91 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,439
Blog Entries: 1
Going on for 6 years now I've never been logged out when that box has been ticked

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
LBrain (09-23-2015), zerothehero (09-26-2015)
Old 09-22-2015, 04:20 PM
  # 92 (permalink)  
waking down
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,612
No problems on my computer but my iPad kicks me off every time I click The Forums.
zerothehero is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to zerothehero For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (09-23-2015), LBrain (09-23-2015)
Old 09-23-2015, 06:48 AM
  # 93 (permalink)  
Member
 
LBrain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,007
Blog Entries: 2
I know what happens, if I am not 'logged in' and I hit reply, a pop up asks me to sign in and I just click it. Then I assume I am logged in. But if I try to respond to another thread I get the 'you are not authorized...' message and then have to log in from the top.
Yesterday I rented an aerator for the yard and returned it this morning. Today is spreading lime, then a yard of mushroom soil and over seeding.
Completely redo one section which means tearing it all up and starting over - it's only around 60 square feet. But then I have to bag it all and set it up for the g-men. Cannot 'mulch' it because it is highly weed contaminated.
Another long work day ahead. I was tired at the end of the day yesterday, but not 'beat'. A good days work.
Have a goodn
LBrain is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to LBrain For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (09-23-2015), jackrussell (09-24-2015), zerothehero (09-23-2015)
Old 09-24-2015, 06:31 AM
  # 94 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 451
Had my yard arerated (sp) and heavy seeded this week. I'll lime it this week myself. Working from home due to the Poll's visit. It has made moving around Washington a nightmare. My building is next to Treasury and the White House. His parade went right by our office window. Our building was closed yesterday. I couldn't even get in.
Vet69 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Vet69 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (09-24-2015), jackrussell (09-24-2015), LBrain (09-24-2015), zerothehero (09-24-2015)
Old 09-24-2015, 04:27 PM
  # 95 (permalink)  
Member
 
LBrain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,007
Blog Entries: 2
I gotta tell you vet, spreading lime was no fun. But I don't have a traditional rectangular flat surface to work with. And then figuring out the drop rate...
My soil analysis from the Penn State extension told me to put 100 pounds of lime per 1000 square feet! The lime I got was 80% so that meant 125 pounds of that. After the second bag I was done! I guestimated how much I was putting down. I'll give it another 'coat' before the snow comes.
Grass is planted and watered! Now it will be watering a couple times a day for a while.
I got a splinter in my pick thumb two days ago. Part of it is still there, but it didn't hurt when I use it. It's 'just' out of the way.
They are closing Philly down for the Poll's visit here too. Poll?

Jack, last I heard was 4 days boozelessness. How goes it?

Oh, Vet, when I aerated my 'lawn', the ground was so hard and compact that I was basically just gouging it in a lot of places. But every bit helps. Next year maybe I'll have real grass. The yard of mushroom soil I finished spreading today along with peat moss mixed in should help hold the grass until it get established - we hope!

I think I am losing weight. A pair of jeans that was snug is now loose!
Oats for breakfast!
LBrain is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to LBrain For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (09-25-2015), jackrussell (09-24-2015), zerothehero (09-24-2015)
Old 09-24-2015, 05:29 PM
  # 96 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: kingston ontario canada
Posts: 655
Must be pretty exciting, Vet, to work in the heart of the beast. Not sure that I've ever been told to not come in to work because the Pope is visiting the hood!
I do get a kick out of this Pope. And that comes from a 'lapsed' Catholic slash atheist.I like that he drives his own Fiat.

LB: my boozelessness binge ended the fourth day. But: I carry on. Feel pretty good. Will still engage the demon when I can. That's the direction that I want to follow (have to follow). I don't beat myself up over losses; and don't celebrate wins (too much). Thanks for asking.
Driving to work this morning through a gorgeous warm early autumn day, hearing the news of 750 or so people trampled in Saudi; more horrors of Syrian refugees; 3 women murdered in our area by a misogynist brute; I took a few good breaths, inhaled the countryside. And realized that the fact we bought a new Jetta Diesel last October, and that VW has been busted as a bad boy, and our car may be a bit of an issue in the future, is a big fat first world problem. Suck it up, Jack, I thought. Take another breath. And I did. And loved the drive into the city.
All's well that ends well.
Enjoy this coming weekend, everybody.
jackrussell is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to jackrussell For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (09-25-2015), LBrain (09-25-2015), zerothehero (09-26-2015)
Old 09-25-2015, 11:07 AM
  # 97 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Virginia
Posts: 451
It was a security thing JR. I've been around it a lot. I stood outside the Commerce Department on 9/11 and watched the smoke from the Pentagon. I told my friend that our lives had changed forever. It was true.
Vet69 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Vet69 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (09-25-2015), jackrussell (09-25-2015), LBrain (09-25-2015), zerothehero (09-26-2015)
Old 09-25-2015, 02:32 PM
  # 98 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,439
Blog Entries: 1
I saw John Paul when he came to Australia in 86 along with several million others

They had a similar level of security way back then because of the assassination attempt on him back in 81.

I like Francis

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
jackrussell (09-25-2015), zerothehero (09-26-2015)
Old 09-25-2015, 02:37 PM
  # 99 (permalink)  
Member
 
LBrain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,007
Blog Entries: 2
Hope everyone is set for the weekend. She's working. Local hike tomorrow in the morning. Then maybe catch some football on Sunday with a neighbor.
And water the lawn when it needs it. Which is often when the sun is out.

Now that she is 'consumed' with school and work I am pretty much on my own again. I'm able to practice in the morning, a bit after lunch and then a good session in the evening. Things are starting to click. But I have a looooooooong way to go... I shouldn't have taken the summer off.

Have a good weekend.
LBrain is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to LBrain For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (09-26-2015), jackrussell (09-25-2015), zerothehero (09-26-2015)
Old 09-26-2015, 12:29 PM
  # 100 (permalink)  
waking down
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,612
Started antibiotics yesterday for some kind of bacterial infection. I just keep getting slapped down, but this should be short-lived. I'm already feeling better. I just work too hard doing crap in which I find little or no value. Early retirement could happen in 2016, but a few more years would be wiser financially if I can hang on without losing my mind.

Seems we all kind of take two steps forward and one back or one forward and two back but all added up we move forward despite our circumstances and/or ourselves. It's all good. I'm weak and tired and drained. Felt so crappy yesterday I was tempted to fuzz out on what's left of the muscle relaxants and painkillers from my surgeries, but I took an Aleve and watched a tedious movie, instead.

Also finished Kevin Griffin's book about Buddhism and the Twelve Steps. I'm thinking that after I reach two years sober I'd like to start going to the local AA house and see about starting a mindfulness-based support group. I talked with one of the guys that run the place. Pretty interesting, actually. It used to be a bar but now it's an LLC that houses 12 Step meetings. He said he suspects the board would want to keep tight with 12 Step programs but could be amenable to a Buddhist or non-theist group if it doesn't stray too far from the 12 Step philosophy. I would have to go to some AA meetings, probably, before they would feel comfortable with me starting something new or different.

I'm thinking a mindfulness-based recovery supplement to the 12 Step groups. I could teach/lead basics of meditation practice and we could follow Noah Levine's model and/or something like Griffin's suggestions in his book. Both suggest beginning with a short introduction and 20 minutes of meditation, and then we could do a short dharma/12 Step/study/reading focused on themes like mindfulness/Buddhist philosophy, non-theist interpretations of 12 Steps, and such, and I can think of lots of readings from the many books I've read over the years, especially in the past couple since I got sober.

I think it would help a lot of people, including me. Non-theists (or atheists or agnostics) could have a weekly meeting where they feel honored, folks would learn some mindfulness practices, and I could start developing a sangha or community where I feel more comfortable. Like the mindfulness gurus out there, I would not emphasize Buddhism, but would draw from texts that focus on meditation and mindfulness from a practical and neuro-scientific perspective. That is, unless it becomes clear that people who show up to the group are largely Buddhist-leaning.

Anyway, I'm just thinking out loud. Assuming I make it sober through Christmas, I feel like it's time for me to serve and to live more authentically doing it. I'm sick of hiding and living a double life. I'm to the point where I don't much care what people think and I don't much care what my supervisors at work think, and I don't much believe I would suffer any consequences as far as work and income goes. Plus, it's possible I could make a real difference. If not for my health issues, my work performance would be improved since sobriety because my attitude tends to be much better and my head is clearer.

We'll see. I have a few months to think about it. I'd like to put the physical and psychological struggles of 2015 behind me and start fresh - sooner rather than later. Sometimes I wonder why I feel I need two years, except that I know sometimes addicts get put on this two or three year kind of probationary period if they miss work for detox/recovery purposes. I didn't go that route. I detoxed during vacation time, never used my insurance for counseling (didn't get counseling), and to my knowledge nobody even knew I had a problem. I just don't want things to get too weird right before I qualify for a pension. I could stay stealth until I reach that date, but it seems so long, and for all I know my colleagues and supervisors will be accepting and I may gain some respect for being more open and authentic. It's a risk. People are kind of unpredictable...
zerothehero is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to zerothehero For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (09-26-2015), jackrussell (09-26-2015), LBrain (09-27-2015)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:29 AM.