SnoozyQ

Thanks darling Leigh that means a lot to me sweetheart xxx

SnoozyQ

Do you know what happened tonight , I invited Katie over for dinner , her and holly didn't even look up from their phones to realise their mother was drunk , how sad ,
See ya Mum , thanks for dinner

Gilmer

Let your daughters be wherever they are in life. Don't define yourself by what they think.

Personally, I would let them forage for leftovers. If you're going to knock yourself out, do it for your own sake!

Alcoholism is a very real struggle. It is not a walk in the park. You are fighting against a very, very strong enemy. Your daughters cannot or will not understand.

At this point that's on them and not on you.

Just keep picking yourself up! Keep coming here, where you are loved.

Don't run after them begging. Screw 'em! You may have made a few mistakes in your past, but you've done enough penance.

Concentrate on going all-out for yourself. Do you volunteer? There are no doubt a whole multitude of people who would really love to meet you and feel your warmth.

You know what? You need to forgive yourself for your past. I bet then you'd be free to move forward.

Gilmer

Snooz, I PMed you, but your box was full.

SoberLeigh

In the final analysis, the burden is on is, isn't it. We can hope that our family, especially our grown children, would recognize our need and reach out to us - as we would surely do for them - but they are sometimes too absorbed in their own lives to 'see'.

We have to do the work, make the decisions, take the steps - to bring about and sustain our happiness, our self-worth.

I love Gil's suggestion about volunteering - there is definitely something about helping others that takes us outside of ourselves (with the added benefit, I think, of providing us with a mindset conducive to both acceptance and growth).

You are awesome, Snooz - show yourself and the world just how much so.

Soberwolf

(((((Snooz)))))

Gilmer

Snooz, I cannot concentrate. I have been wrestling in prayer for you all day.

I wrote hastily and in anger above. I'm sorry if I was curt or sounded flippant.

I want you to be set free from condemnation once and for all. There is true, total forgiveness and you can be at peace.

Even the most bitter and miserable families can be healed. Mine was. Things will eventually take care of themselves if you put them all in the Lord's hands. Meanwhile, focus on yourself.

Have you ever tried AA?

Gilmer

I wonder if you might find the steps really cathartic.

SoberLeigh

I am praying for you, too, Snooz.

You are so beloved here and too sweet to be in such pain.

Dee74

I'm sorry in you're in such pain too Snooz.

to be honest, I think your daughters know very well you're drinking.
Sometimes families won't intervene how ever much we want them to.

You need to save yourself Snoozy - waiting for someone else to save you just isn't a viable option at this point.

I think you need some counselling - you're clearly suffering enormously over the Ryleigh thing - and you need to see your doctor about your depression...

and- if you can't stop drinking you're going to have to do some things you find unpleasant, like rehab or AA.

You're worth fighting for Wendy. We can support you all the way, but you need to take up the fight

D

Croissant

Awww Snooz, did I read that right? You drank again last night?

I agree with Dee....I think your daughters may have known, but what could they say? Please don't go into self-destruct mode, its a long climb out. Please go get professional help. You would tell us to do the same thing, Darling. Please.xx

SoberLeigh

Hope to hear from you soon, Snooz.

Soberwolf

Morning Julyers

You can do this Snooz

SnoozyQ

I'd love to go 6 weeks back change my life get back on track
I had such peace serenity it defined the love I had in me
For just one slip I've screwed it all I thought that I would have a ball
That's so not true I its just a farce a total pain right in my arse

Why did I cave why did I fall I thought ok I've got it all
Don't be fooled just be astute don't head into disrepute
I'm going to lose, my girls again this loving caring mother hen
Why do I fail why do I fall I'm the Mum who wants it all

I want my family loving me but sadly so it's not to be
It my own doing I sabotage hiding behind my camouflage
I have no one else to blame my poor excuses are all lame
I'm the only one who can fix me oh please oh please just let it be .

I'll say just one more drink ok now let me think 'oh god' no way
This happened just 2 years ago what the hell no no no
There is no coming back from this no happy after total bliss
It's depression sadness anxiety all of that which looms in me .

PurePoison

Oh Snoozy, so sorry that your daughters weren’t able to give you the support you need. Perhaps they just don’t know what to say or do to help you.

At least they still care enough to come to dinner. I hurt my daughter so badly due to my drinking that she didn’t speak to me for four years. I was so wrapped up in my own pain while drinking that I didn’t realise how difficult it was for those closest to me to cope with my self-destructive behaviour.

Please try to get some professional help, our loved ones don’t have the resources and training that might be needed to lead to our recovery.

We can’t change our past but we can make a brighter future. Don’t look back, move forward and be who you want to be for you and your family. xo

SnoozyQ

Thank you darling PP hat makes so much sense to me xx

Dee74

You can only lose if you give up Wendy - so don't give up.

Don't forget it's you who is the most powerful player in this situation - not your addiction...and not your daughters, husband, your son or your daughter in law.

It's you. You have good form for sorting yourself out

The start of the journey getting back to where you want to be can start any time you want it to.

D

SnoozyQ

True Dee , thanks xxx

SnoozyQ

I'm sorry to be on a downer at the moment , please just keep going as you all are. You have had so many wonderful milestones . Casey I'm proud of your nearing your 100 days.

Every now and then one of us may fall away .this is no excuse for any of you to follow. Sobriety is the best thing in the world.

I wish all of you , my darling Julyers nothing but health & happiness and please stay on track.

The grass is NOT greener on the other side .

I love you all.

Leshar , kick him to the kerb , he doesn't dererve you darling xx

Ladybug2

(((Snoozy))) We all want you back. Sending you strength and hugs today.

Going to get out and enjoy the nice sunny day today. Going miniature golfing with 5 year olds - should be interesting. All I know is it will be so much more enjoyable without a hangover. Feeling a little better today, mentally. Yesterday I felt so overwhelmed and irritable. I was looking around thinking about all of the projects/things I still need to get done around the house. We moved into this house a few weeks before Abby was born so things just kind of got unpacked and thrown in closets/cupboards etc. So much organizing yet to do. Not to mention just keeping up with laundry/cooking/basic cleaning and caring for 2 little ones. Yesterday everything just seemed too much and I kept thinking "where has the time gone?" I know the guilt of relapsing is adding to that anxiety so just need to keep moving forward I guess and stop dwelling on past mistakes. When I put too much pressure on myself and get overwhelmed my AV has a field day and then it is just becomes a vicious cycle.

Hope everyone has a wonderful day/night.