Class of July 2013 Part 20
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Thanks guys xx
I just feel sad all the time. I have no desire to participate in life . I do my weekend job ,then back to bed for the rest of the week.
I have depression , I just can't get out of this rut. Even going to the docs is a major effort. I just have no motivation whatsoever .
Even when I drink it solves nothing and doesn't make me happy AT ALL .
Yet here I am 8 am in the morning wondering if I'm going to drink today?
That's my life at the moment
Hope everyone else is doing well. Keep on track Casey , you have come to far to go back xx
I just feel sad all the time. I have no desire to participate in life . I do my weekend job ,then back to bed for the rest of the week.
I have depression , I just can't get out of this rut. Even going to the docs is a major effort. I just have no motivation whatsoever .
Even when I drink it solves nothing and doesn't make me happy AT ALL .
Yet here I am 8 am in the morning wondering if I'm going to drink today?
That's my life at the moment
Hope everyone else is doing well. Keep on track Casey , you have come to far to go back xx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
Oh Wendy.
I hope and pray you can beat back the urges.
I remember how fearful you were about having permanent damage from drinking. I would never want that fear to grip you ever again, sweetness.
I will let you all in on a rather stark fact. It sometimes seems like I have the tiger by the tail when it comes to alcoholism. But, frankly it is quite hard on occasion. Thankfully I am determined this time to beat this and remain sober.
There 's one rather large reason that I try to stay on track.
If I were to drink again. There is the very real scenario that I would drop off this site and not return....ever. Or at the very least, a very long time.
My drinking would grip me again so hard that I would simply move away from here and drinking would consume all my "free" time. I know that sounds strange, but, my personality would lead me down that path.
And that my friends would sadden me very much as I do care about you all.
So I will continue with my new sober life. Not just for health, happiness and the joys of being aware of life. But also so I can remain here with you all.
I hope and pray you can beat back the urges.
I remember how fearful you were about having permanent damage from drinking. I would never want that fear to grip you ever again, sweetness.
I will let you all in on a rather stark fact. It sometimes seems like I have the tiger by the tail when it comes to alcoholism. But, frankly it is quite hard on occasion. Thankfully I am determined this time to beat this and remain sober.
There 's one rather large reason that I try to stay on track.
If I were to drink again. There is the very real scenario that I would drop off this site and not return....ever. Or at the very least, a very long time.
My drinking would grip me again so hard that I would simply move away from here and drinking would consume all my "free" time. I know that sounds strange, but, my personality would lead me down that path.
And that my friends would sadden me very much as I do care about you all.
So I will continue with my new sober life. Not just for health, happiness and the joys of being aware of life. But also so I can remain here with you all.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
BOB 
I absolutely agree with EVERYTHING you just said. That's probably what I would do too, it's scary isn't it ?
Thanks for keeping it real my friend.
Dee you know what , I'm going to do just that! .
I have to take Holly to work in an hour but normally I would just go back to bed.
I'll shower , take the hounds around the block & stay out of bed today.
I have a gym apt to help with my back at 1.30 today , so I'll stay up .
Let's get this day moving.
Thanks Bob & Dee
Luvya xxx
I absolutely agree with EVERYTHING you just said. That's probably what I would do too, it's scary isn't it ?
Thanks for keeping it real my friend.
Dee you know what , I'm going to do just that! .
I have to take Holly to work in an hour but normally I would just go back to bed.
I'll shower , take the hounds around the block & stay out of bed today.
I have a gym apt to help with my back at 1.30 today , so I'll stay up .
Let's get this day moving.
Thanks Bob & Dee
Luvya xxx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,996
Dear Snoozy,
As one who has depression, I know only too well your pain. Please, please, don't put off seeing your doctor. I believe you need medical help. Please don't drink. It will bring you nothing but more pain.
Not a word from Rod. It upsets me, I'd rather he'd been honest and just broken up with me instead of treating me this way. I've determined that I will not contact him. I just have to get on with things and do things that are good for me. Not drinking is part of looking after myself.
As one who has depression, I know only too well your pain. Please, please, don't put off seeing your doctor. I believe you need medical help. Please don't drink. It will bring you nothing but more pain.
Not a word from Rod. It upsets me, I'd rather he'd been honest and just broken up with me instead of treating me this way. I've determined that I will not contact him. I just have to get on with things and do things that are good for me. Not drinking is part of looking after myself.
Re-Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 7,909
Originally Posted by SnoozyQ 
Hope everyone else is doing well. Keep on track Casey , you have come to far to go back xx
Currently I'm messing around here on SR for a bit and then going to watch an episode of Friday Night Lights before going to bed. I work again tomorrow night but am looking forward to being off work on Wednesday so I can go to my AA home group and finally get my three month chip. Never had one of those before! I think they're a pretty blue color.
Hope you had a good walk with the hounds and that your gym appointment also goes well. Check in whenever you can. We're here for you!
Leshar--you are doing an admirable job of handling the situation with Rod. Sorry he turned out to be a dud, but I'm so glad you're sounding so good since leaving the hospital.
Hope everyone else is having a happy and sober Monday/Tuesday! Talk to you soon. Thank you for keeping me sober one more day.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 4,225
Bob, your post made me start to cry....at work!
It is so sad, but true, withdrawing and secrecy is the last thing we need, but the worst part of this illness.
I'm hearing you Snooz. When I want to drink, the last thing I want is to go somewhere (here) and know I'm gonna be told what I already know. I agree doctor is a good idea. Not only that....some long term counselling or support. Don't underestimate how big this hurt about your granddaughter is and all the stuff you want fixed.
You deserve better than this.xx
It is so sad, but true, withdrawing and secrecy is the last thing we need, but the worst part of this illness.
I'm hearing you Snooz. When I want to drink, the last thing I want is to go somewhere (here) and know I'm gonna be told what I already know. I agree doctor is a good idea. Not only that....some long term counselling or support. Don't underestimate how big this hurt about your granddaughter is and all the stuff you want fixed.
You deserve better than this.xx
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
((((Sweet Snooz)))). Your doctor will likely be able to help with the depression; please make an appointment. Croiss is so correct; you are dealing with so much emotional pain.
(((Leshar))); he is absolutely unworthy of you. He doesn't deserve a second thought.
Bob, your post put a lump in my throat.
Love to all the Julyers.
(((Leshar))); he is absolutely unworthy of you. He doesn't deserve a second thought.
Bob, your post put a lump in my throat.
Love to all the Julyers.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Quoting this again because it's right on the money.
you're hurting Snooz - it's a horrible situation on a few fronts and it's beyond you to fix this on your own.
There's no shame in that.
Get some help
D
I agree doctor is a good idea. Not only that....some long term counselling or support. Don't underestimate how big this hurt about your granddaughter is and all the stuff you want fixed.
There's no shame in that.
Get some help
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Hi everyone,
Some great posts here. Snoozy, I agree with the others. You deserve to be yourself again. Do whatever it takes my friend. Thinking about you
Leshar, I have to agree that this guy sounds like he has some issues. I think you are probably better off without all of this drama? I know it's disappointing though
Rainy day here. Doing well so far this week. My last drink was Sat night. I am back to journalling again and just started reading Drinking: A Love Story. Can't keep white knuckling it anymore and drinking in secret like this and lying to my family is killing me. It makes me feel such a horrible person. I want to get back to liking and respecting myself again. I will not drink today!
Some great posts here. Snoozy, I agree with the others. You deserve to be yourself again. Do whatever it takes my friend. Thinking about you
Leshar, I have to agree that this guy sounds like he has some issues. I think you are probably better off without all of this drama? I know it's disappointing though
Rainy day here. Doing well so far this week. My last drink was Sat night. I am back to journalling again and just started reading Drinking: A Love Story. Can't keep white knuckling it anymore and drinking in secret like this and lying to my family is killing me. It makes me feel such a horrible person. I want to get back to liking and respecting myself again. I will not drink today!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 11,351
Originally Posted by Croissant
Bob, your post made me start to cry....at work!
It is so sad, but true, withdrawing and secrecy is the last thing we need, but the worst part of this illness.
I'm hearing you Snooz. When I want to drink, the last thing I want is to go somewhere (here) and know I'm gonna be told what I already know. I agree doctor is a good idea. Not only that....some long term counselling or support. Don't underestimate how big this hurt about your granddaughter is and all the stuff you want fixed.
You deserve better than this.xx
It is so sad, but true, withdrawing and secrecy is the last thing we need, but the worst part of this illness.
I'm hearing you Snooz. When I want to drink, the last thing I want is to go somewhere (here) and know I'm gonna be told what I already know. I agree doctor is a good idea. Not only that....some long term counselling or support. Don't underestimate how big this hurt about your granddaughter is and all the stuff you want fixed.
You deserve better than this.xx
I really believe missing Ryleigh so much has made me come undone. I'm having aweful nightmares where I have her then they try to take her back , yet she cries to be with me .
I can only hope they are treating her well, I feel such grief . I love Ryleigh dearly & Hope she missing me too xx
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