Class of October 2014 Part 18
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
Arbor - a therapist is a great idea. Mine has been essential to my recovery. Without him, I wouldn't even know where to start.
V - I'm so sorry you're sick. That's hard with the work you do. I hope you'll be able to find a job soon that's kinder to your body.
Phoebe - sounds like everyone is adjusting well so far. My cat is strictly indoor, so I've never given her flea treatment and we've never had an issue. We do get the vaccines, though, which sometimes seems weird considering the very slim chance that she'll be exposed to those germs anyway. Honestly I should probably put more thought into it than I do.
Mark - you've made a lot of progress in communicating with your family about your sobriety. You set a very good example. I think it can be critical for family to be on board, especially when one is sensitive to being around others who drink.
Okay, Monday morning. No news on the house, but the fire just keeps growing. All over the news are words like historic, unprecedented, uncontrollable. Someone even had the balls to post an opinion piece calling it the "fire apocalypse." A-hole. I'm angry this morning. Powerlessness and resentment are no friends of sobriety, but I still don't feel like drinking.
V - I'm so sorry you're sick. That's hard with the work you do. I hope you'll be able to find a job soon that's kinder to your body.
Phoebe - sounds like everyone is adjusting well so far. My cat is strictly indoor, so I've never given her flea treatment and we've never had an issue. We do get the vaccines, though, which sometimes seems weird considering the very slim chance that she'll be exposed to those germs anyway. Honestly I should probably put more thought into it than I do.
Mark - you've made a lot of progress in communicating with your family about your sobriety. You set a very good example. I think it can be critical for family to be on board, especially when one is sensitive to being around others who drink.
Okay, Monday morning. No news on the house, but the fire just keeps growing. All over the news are words like historic, unprecedented, uncontrollable. Someone even had the balls to post an opinion piece calling it the "fire apocalypse." A-hole. I'm angry this morning. Powerlessness and resentment are no friends of sobriety, but I still don't feel like drinking.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
I'm so sorry you have to deal with all those crazy fires out there Briar. That is so scary.
A good therapist is hard to find. My doctor doesn't know or recommend any in my area! Wtf...I'll ask my wife's doctor. I just don't want to start googling.
A good therapist is hard to find. My doctor doesn't know or recommend any in my area! Wtf...I'll ask my wife's doctor. I just don't want to start googling.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Well, Arbor, I did actually find a therapist for my daughter by googling. I happened upon one that had a description of experience in school, with adolescents, learning disabilities, and depression, all issues we were dealing with on some scale, some minor, but there. She ended up really clicking with my dd, and I liked how she had opinions too. Not just nodding and listening, but had constructive advice and some ideas. She was especially helpful at helping dd and I deal with some of our mother daughter issues.
I think it was a PsychologyToday website, and they therapists put themselves on there for advertisement. Found our first prescribing practitioner too, because they are very hard to find and we needed that sort of evaluation fast. Daughter had a suicidal period in 7th grade, poor kid. She has come such a long way! She is doing great.
That said, you may have to "kiss a few frogs." My daughter is very open and will overshare with people, so making a connection was not all that hard for her. I tried one once and thought the guy was a total goof. So, don't be afraid to try more than one if it is not a great fit.
I have not done it myself, but I forget if you have tried AA?
I think it was a PsychologyToday website, and they therapists put themselves on there for advertisement. Found our first prescribing practitioner too, because they are very hard to find and we needed that sort of evaluation fast. Daughter had a suicidal period in 7th grade, poor kid. She has come such a long way! She is doing great.
That said, you may have to "kiss a few frogs." My daughter is very open and will overshare with people, so making a connection was not all that hard for her. I tried one once and thought the guy was a total goof. So, don't be afraid to try more than one if it is not a great fit.
I have not done it myself, but I forget if you have tried AA?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 6,831
Originally Posted by Briar 
Mark - you've made a lot of progress in communicating with your family about your sobriety. You set a very good example. I think it can be critical for family to be on board, especially when one is sensitive to being around others who drink.
When Arbor posted about his brother coming over and the added dimension that entailed for him, my first thought was I hope he'll confide in his brother soon as I think it'll help. Then I realized I was just talking the talk not walking the walk. Provided a kick in the rear for me.
I feel good about it today. To my surprise, I did have some feelings of being caged in now that I've lost a bit more of my 'wiggle room'. That's slowly being replaced, I think, with feeling like I'm really opening the cage door on some very entrenched ways I had about interacting with him and others. In my face to face world I'm generally quite private about my personal life, but now I've made myself talk with both siblings and a little with my spouse. As far as my mom is concerned I'm not sure yet. Will probably seek my sisters advice on that in the next few weeks.
I'm keeping up with the fires and your situation Briar. I know this has gotten quite tiresome to deal with, but you rock on how you're dealing with it.
My vote would be for two classes if you're needing a change Arbor. I don't want to lose anyone! I learn so much from y'all and the individual perspectives you bring are so valuable.
Missing Conquest btw!
Happy Monday.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
Originally Posted by phoebe64
I have not done it myself, but I forget if you have tried AA?
Mark. Your discipline is amazing. I can see why your so successful. I must be pretty screwed in the head cause discipline only gets me so far. Two years on SR ain't cuttin it folks.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 6,831
Originally Posted by Arbor8
I must be pretty screwed in the head...
Some facts as I see them:
1. You have a successful marriage relationship. That alone is a huge accomplishment.
2. You provide for your family's financial security in a consistent manner year after year.
3. You are a committed father and husband and demonstrate love and affection to your flock.
4. You have recognized that there is a problem in your personal life that keeps you from being your best.
5. You are working to address this problem and have made progress in the last two years.
6. When setbacks occur in your progress....those that can knock us down, you feel the sting, process a bit, learn at bit, seek to adjust your approach in light of what you've learned and you get back up.
7. You have compassion for those of us who are on the same path and offer help and encouragement time and again.
I could go on.....
You're a guy doing his best to genuinely deal with a big ugly issue. I respect that in you and the rest of our class.
02.27.15 :): ▽VII△VIII
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,802
Yes, exactly, I couldn't have said it better. You're recognizing and attacking the problem Arbor. You're so far ahead of so many, and you're figuring out how to be the person you want to be. Rock on!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Originally Posted by Mark1014
I flinched when I saw that.
Some facts as I see them:
1. You have a successful marriage relationship. That alone is a huge accomplishment.
2. You provide for your family's financial security in a consistent manner year after year.
3. You are a committed father and husband and demonstrate love and affection to your flock.
4. You have recognized that there is a problem in your personal life that keeps you from being your best.
5. You are working to address this problem and have made progress in the last two years.
6. When setbacks occur in your progress....those that can knock us down, you feel the sting, process a bit, learn at bit, seek to adjust your approach in light of what you've learned and you get back up.
7. You have compassion for those of us who are on the same path and offer help and encouragement time and again.
I could go on.....
You're a guy doing his best to genuinely deal with a big ugly issue. I respect that in you and the rest of our class.
Some facts as I see them:
1. You have a successful marriage relationship. That alone is a huge accomplishment.
2. You provide for your family's financial security in a consistent manner year after year.
3. You are a committed father and husband and demonstrate love and affection to your flock.
4. You have recognized that there is a problem in your personal life that keeps you from being your best.
5. You are working to address this problem and have made progress in the last two years.
6. When setbacks occur in your progress....those that can knock us down, you feel the sting, process a bit, learn at bit, seek to adjust your approach in light of what you've learned and you get back up.
7. You have compassion for those of us who are on the same path and offer help and encouragement time and again.
I could go on.....
You're a guy doing his best to genuinely deal with a big ugly issue. I respect that in you and the rest of our class.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Originally Posted by Briar
Okay, Monday morning. No news on the house, but the fire just keeps growing. All over the news are words like historic, unprecedented, uncontrollable. Someone even had the balls to post an opinion piece calling it the "fire apocalypse." A-hole. I'm angry this morning. Powerlessness and resentment are no friends of sobriety, but I still don't feel like drinking.
I can't begin to imagine what you are going through, Briar.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Originally Posted by Briar
Undeterred, I had a good day. I think I’m channeling the nervous energy into productivity.
After my long walk, I whipped up some chocolate body butter:
It’s coconut oil, shea butter, cocoa butter, olive oil, and a great big chunk of an 85% dark chocolate bar. Melt, cool, whip, and slather yourself in chocolatey goodness. Also makes a great deep conditioning treatment for your hair, makeup remover, and butter for your toast. Truth.
Then my very greasy daughter and I went blackberry picking. She ate about a third of them, and here’s what was left:
So I did the obvious thing: pulverized them in the food processor, strained out the seeds, boiled down the juice and a little honey into a thick sauce, and put it over some vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup:
This after tri tip and garlic parmesan mashed potatoes for dinner. So yeah, life was pretty lush in the Briar house today.
After my long walk, I whipped up some chocolate body butter:
It’s coconut oil, shea butter, cocoa butter, olive oil, and a great big chunk of an 85% dark chocolate bar. Melt, cool, whip, and slather yourself in chocolatey goodness. Also makes a great deep conditioning treatment for your hair, makeup remover, and butter for your toast. Truth.
Then my very greasy daughter and I went blackberry picking. She ate about a third of them, and here’s what was left:
So I did the obvious thing: pulverized them in the food processor, strained out the seeds, boiled down the juice and a little honey into a thick sauce, and put it over some vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup:
This after tri tip and garlic parmesan mashed potatoes for dinner. So yeah, life was pretty lush in the Briar house today.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Originally Posted by venuscat
I'm all into holistic stuff, but as far as fleas go, I would be using the full-on chemical stuff. It is available for puppies as well. I use Revolution. It also does heartworm and other stuff.
I'm not feeling well. This is a lot more than a cold I guess. Ah well. What can you expect when you work outside in this kind of weather? Which I will be doing again tomorrow. Not fun, but I can do it.
Going to bed pretty soon.
Love to all of you. ♥
I'm not feeling well. This is a lot more than a cold I guess. Ah well. What can you expect when you work outside in this kind of weather? Which I will be doing again tomorrow. Not fun, but I can do it.
Going to bed pretty soon.
Love to all of you. ♥
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 673
Briar, your stuff looks amazing. Have to ask, why the chocolate in the body butter? Hoping the house stays safe.
Arbor, hang in there! New month, new attitude. Puppy is a cutie Phoebe. Mark, school does not start here until after Labor Day. Venus-big hug; feel better. Leigh and Dee, always appreciate your insight.
Arbor, hang in there! New month, new attitude. Puppy is a cutie Phoebe. Mark, school does not start here until after Labor Day. Venus-big hug; feel better. Leigh and Dee, always appreciate your insight.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 6,831
Hi BD....it's so oppressively hot through August around here, the kids may as well be in school.
That mournful howling sound you guys may have heard was not Huxley.....it was me paying to get my ride out of the auto repair shop. Ouch.
Briar, is your mom allowed to go to her house yet?
That mournful howling sound you guys may have heard was not Huxley.....it was me paying to get my ride out of the auto repair shop. Ouch.
Briar, is your mom allowed to go to her house yet?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 5,554
Sorry about the car repair bill, Mark. Ouch.
My dog has not yet howled, but there were coyotes howling last night, very closely. I wonder if they smelled the new dog? We rarely hear them!
It does feel a bit like a new baby around here. I slept very little. Listening for any need. Mother's instinct. I have decided to bear all the brunt of it, but was so surprised to find my daughter sleeping on the couch at 5:30 am. I wish I could has fallen back to sleep!
All in all, I am glad to have a solid reason for early to bed, early to rise. I function well with that. Did it until I met my husband at age 29.
Dd just weighed our pup. 16 pounds. I would have thought more. He is nippy when playful, but otherwise really mellow and a big napper. All on or all off, lol. I am in love, not sure if everyone else is. Daughter said to me tonight, after a long day, "I think hamsters are more my pet." Oy! We got this pet more at her urging than any other, but I have wanted a dog forever. So, I knew this would be for me, and hopefully the kids would like it too. I had to exert some pressure this weekend to choose Huxley. The kids wanted this sweet older dog, a small breed, and very passive. A lump, if you will. He was great, but I knew he could not go a couple miles with me. I held my ground. ds seems bored already, and dd is very awesome, but realizing how hard it is. So, I know they would have been bored with the other dog, and I would not have my walking buddy. He needs a little time, but I am confident he will love walks.
My dog has not yet howled, but there were coyotes howling last night, very closely. I wonder if they smelled the new dog? We rarely hear them!
It does feel a bit like a new baby around here. I slept very little. Listening for any need. Mother's instinct. I have decided to bear all the brunt of it, but was so surprised to find my daughter sleeping on the couch at 5:30 am.
I wish I could has fallen back to sleep!All in all, I am glad to have a solid reason for early to bed, early to rise. I function well with that. Did it until I met my husband at age 29.
Dd just weighed our pup. 16 pounds. I would have thought more. He is nippy when playful, but otherwise really mellow and a big napper. All on or all off, lol. I am in love, not sure if everyone else is. Daughter said to me tonight, after a long day, "I think hamsters are more my pet." Oy! We got this pet more at her urging than any other, but I have wanted a dog forever. So, I knew this would be for me, and hopefully the kids would like it too. I had to exert some pressure this weekend to choose Huxley. The kids wanted this sweet older dog, a small breed, and very passive. A lump, if you will. He was great, but I knew he could not go a couple miles with me. I held my ground. ds seems bored already, and dd is very awesome, but realizing how hard it is. So, I know they would have been bored with the other dog, and I would not have my walking buddy. He needs a little time, but I am confident he will love walks.
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 3,805
That's great Phoebe. Welcome to the no quality of sleep club!! Glad your liking the new addition to the fam and the challenge it brings. We have packs of coyotes here too. Some nights you can hear them howl for hours and sometimes you can hear a kill. Can keep you up at night if the windows are open. Double the pleasure with a fussy newborn!
Got a beginners AA meeting Thursday at 7:30pm, local Congregational church. Thinking of hitting that up whether I like it or not.
Stay safe out there sweet Briar.
Got a beginners AA meeting Thursday at 7:30pm, local Congregational church. Thinking of hitting that up whether I like it or not.
Stay safe out there sweet Briar.
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