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Class of October 2014 Part 18

Old 08-07-2015, 06:23 AM
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6 Things to Never Say to a Recovering Alcoholic

#7 - "Hi, honey; our first Wine Tasting Club party is on the 15th."

Seriously?

I am still reeling a bit. I know I felt shock and I think I passed out a bit; my eyes must have rolled into the back of my head as I swear I saw brain matter.

I'll be okay; I know I will. I'll show up with some kind of funky, over-the-top wine glass from which to drink my sparkling water and I'll be a gracious hostess when it's our time to host but - seriously?
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Old 08-07-2015, 06:31 AM
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Originally Posted by Arbor View Post
I did it! I went to my first meeting! Boy, was I nervous. Heart pounding all the way. Was quite a large crowd actually. I'd say 20 or more people. I didn't know a soul! Thank god. Anyway, I spoke and introduced myself. It went all around the room. All kinds of different folk. We then proceeded to read a chapter from the Living Sober book which I have already read a while back. Chapter nine where it talks about using sweets for cravings. Anyhow, after we read it out loud it was everyone's turn for open discussion. I spoke again.

The best part about it for me was meeting these two guys at the table that have been sober since like '83. They handed me a booklet of all the meetings around the area and personal numbers to call from a bunch of members if I need to. I connected with both pretty well. One guy was actually in the same line of work as I.

The meeting was under an hour. After it was over I spoke with the two gentleman for a while. I asked them if they had done the twelve step program and if it's necessary. Can't I just show up to meetings? They stressed the importance of doing the program. And this was kinda the kicker for me. The one guy spoke about the void. That all human beings are born with that void. We've chosen to fill it with alcohol. How the program is designed to fill that void. That really hit me. I felt that void a lot during those nine months. We've talked about it here in our class.

I donated a dollar in the basket before I left. They all want me to come back next week. I still need to digest all this as it was very emotional day. I contemplated going ALL day. Really came down to the wire for me and now I'm just exhausted. But I'm so glad I went. The next meeting will be so much easier.

Goodnight everyone!
Great news, Arbor. You may have found your 'home away from home'.

The part about the 'void' really resonated with me; thanks.
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Old 08-07-2015, 06:36 AM
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Originally Posted by SoberLeigh View Post
6 Things to Never Say to a Recovering Alcoholic

#7 - "Hi, honey; our first Wine Tasting Club party is on the 15th."

Seriously?

I am still reeling a bit. I know I felt shock and I think I passed out a bit; my eyes must have rolled into the back of my head as I swear I saw brain matter.

I'll be okay; I know I will. I'll show up with some kind of funky, over-the-top wine glass from which to drink my sparkling water and I'll be a gracious hostess when it's our time to host but - seriously?
I had to read that a time or two for it to sink in. At first I chuckled at your funny description of your reaction, then not so much chuckling.

Yes, you'll be fine.
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Old 08-07-2015, 06:39 AM
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Morning guys. I had some killer sleep last night except for my daughter arriving in my room at 3am to announce that her pup tent had fallen off her bed, and she could not possibly sleep without it. But you know, if that's the worst of her problems in the middle of the night, then things are all good, right?

I really do appreciate being able to get out of bed during the night delirious from excellent sleep instead of a fifth of vodka.

I bet Phoebe does too with her new baby.

Sorry to hear Dee's been sick. At least he's on the mend.

I hope everyone has a good day.
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Old 08-07-2015, 06:42 AM
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Leigh - my husband works for a winery and still invites me to their parties. I guess he doesn't want me to feel excluded, but seriously I'd rather go to the dentist.
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Old 08-07-2015, 06:54 AM
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Morning everyone. Thanks for all your support and kind responses. I feel wonderful today! Such a gorgeous day here with low humidity. Looking forward to the weekend.

I knew if I pushed myself through those doors I'd come out the other side elated. With all of you cheering me on I did not want to disappoint either. So glad I went.

I hope you get some good rest tonight venuscat and are feeling better soon!
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Old 08-07-2015, 07:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Briar View Post
Arbor - I remembered that I listened to this song a lot when I was exploring AA. Nailed the way I felt at the time. AA did give me some hope by planting the idea in my mind that there is something out there I can put my faith in that will fill the void. I haven't found it yet, but I'm starting to understand the concept. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQeEcNj95lo
That's a great song Briar. I've heard it before, but never listened to the lyrics. Thanks!
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Old 08-07-2015, 08:57 AM
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Seriously, Leigh?! Does your SO regularly drink in the house and have wine around? Or is this a huge leap in an otherwise booze free home?

Glad your mother's property is safe, Briar! Way too close.

Glad you liked the meeting, and it has energized you.

Get well soon, Dee. Sorry you are sick.

I am tired. Ugh. Daughter is too. We are doing all the puppy work. Got lots of poo to pick up out there too. The bloom is off the rose! Joking, but it is work! And we do love him. He hurt his mouth a bit chewing a stick, and daughter came to get me. She was so worried. Such a nervous new mommy. She was shaky! He seems fine. Guessing he poked his mouth somewhere. First vet visit today.
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Old 08-07-2015, 09:54 AM
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Originally Posted by phoebe64 View Post
Seriously, Leigh?! Does your SO regularly drink in the house and have wine around? Or is this a huge leap in an otherwise booze free home?
Alcohol was never removed from our home when I stopped drinking. My husband is a very normal drinker. I never made an issue of it as alcoholism is all over my family and I knew I was, most likely, going to be exposed to it for the rest of my life. I know that it is 'unusual' but I thought of our home as my 'practice field' and I stayed away from bars and heavy drinking situations at all costs. The scope of my life was very narrow in the first few years of my sobriety so there wasn't much socializing anyway.

It is just the 'cluelessness' that is bugging me this morning. I am shocked that he would 'sign us up' for a wine tasting club commitment. I'll be fine; I am certain of it; I will bring a ultra funky wine glass (everyone is to bring their own) and I'll fill it with sparkling water and then maybe ice cream.

Yeah, it is the cluelessness that is bugging me.
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Old 08-07-2015, 10:41 AM
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I also live with a drinker, but I think he has a problem, too. So, I was not being critical, just did not know your situation. I know you are solid in your sobriety! Yeah, that is clueless. How boring will that be for you, unless it is a social group you very much enjoy otherwise.
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Old 08-07-2015, 10:50 AM
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Originally Posted by phoebe64 View Post
I also live with a drinker, but I think he has a problem, too. So, I was not being critical, just did not know your situation. I know you are solid in your sobriety! Yeah, that is clueless. How boring will that be for you, unless it is a social group you very much enjoy otherwise.
Phoebe, is it hard for you - living with an active, possibly problem, drinker?

I only know a few of the people so I am going to look at it as an opportunity to meet new friends - who knows maybe someone else will be in recovery, too!!!!!
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Old 08-07-2015, 11:02 AM
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Yes, very hard. I am not 100% successful, but have come a long way. I do feel
Like if, instead of having a few beers every night or more on weekend nights, my husband would engage more with me and the kids. We all know how checked out we are after several drinks, or how annoying at times.

But the answer is not to again become that checked out and annoying person. Be better than that, and better still.
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Old 08-07-2015, 01:35 PM
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YAY, Arbor! I'm so glad to hear that it was a good experience.

Leigh, I'd sign him up for something just as clueless in return.

I'm exhausted today after that move. And I've got sore muscles that I didn't know I had until they hurt. Crossing my fingers for a movie night! Then Saturday, I'll be helping to sell the stuff that's left in his house at an early morning garage sale. What's everyone else got going on this weekend?
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Old 08-07-2015, 03:34 PM
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Tomorrow I go to RI to pick up the kid and her stuff, zoom back and unload, meet an old friend for dinner followed by a musical in which her son has the lead, up early Sunday for a beach day w/DD, my sister, new BIL, SIL, brother, niece and nephews.....
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Old 08-07-2015, 04:04 PM
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Um, Leigh, do you have to go?
That was my first thought.
.
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Old 08-07-2015, 04:41 PM
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I kick off the weekend by sitting in a conference designed to ease the transition into some government-mandated changes related to my work. And I have to pay for the privilege of attending for me and some of my team. YAY! Lots of working from home over the weekend to prepare for more meetings Monday. Just as well I guess....gonna be 100+ temps for next few days.

But if I don't put in the work then I don't get to play, so it's all good. I'll admit that BD's beach time is more appealing though.

I hope the rest of the gang has more exhilarating things on the weekend agenda.
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Old 08-07-2015, 06:23 PM
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Nothing major going on for us this weekend. Going to see my parents tomorrow to hang by the pool with the kids. Going to be another beautiful day. Looking forward to a couple days off. Tired tonight. Two kids is a lot of work!
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Old 08-07-2015, 06:53 PM
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Daughter had some friends over tonight, but they have all just left. Nice girls.

I am tired. Looking forward to going to bed as soon as I get the kids to go.
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Old 08-07-2015, 07:11 PM
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Have a good weekend guys

D
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Old 08-07-2015, 07:17 PM
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Hey Dee! Are you feeling better? Nice to "see" you.
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