Blogs


Notices

(Not So) New - Frank's Thread Part 2

Old 08-23-2015, 10:11 AM
  # 241 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jsbodhi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Starting day 2, feeling good.
My problem is I've been drinking a bit responsibly, but I can't seem to actually quit, this is very frightening to me, I can have 1 bottle of wine a week, even just a couple beers, but I can't stop completely.
I feel really trapped by this.
I just want to stop, I was at about 6 bottles of wine a week when I first came here, so I'm getting better, I'm not trying to moderate, I'm trying to quit, the one bottle of wine is torture, its a lot of work to just have one.
Anyway, school is starting next month and I'd like to be bright eyed and bushy tailed this semester,and also actually participate in my hobbies rather than sit around drinking wine- such a waste of time.

I'll hang around here, I also have a secular AA group near my house, none of us are religious, we do mediation as the higher power thing, I can handle that.
I'll make a more concrete plan over the next day or two.
Right now I'm going for 30 days, I need to make reachable goals rather than forever goals or I'll panic and start drinking...

Sorry to post so much in your thread about myself Frank, but I like this thread so I'll hang around if thats ok
Jsbodhi is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Jsbodhi For This Useful Post:
Elizabeth333 (08-26-2015), FrankLapidas (08-23-2015), Olivia2011 (08-24-2015), Tooshabby (08-23-2015), Venecia (08-23-2015)
Old 08-23-2015, 12:07 PM
  # 242 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: West Coast USA
Posts: 900
Originally Posted by Jsbodhi View Post
Sorry to post so much in your thread about myself Frank, but I like this thread so I'll hang around if thats ok
It's more than okay, Jsbodhi. Please make this your home. Good people on this thread. And tell us more about yourself . . . what are you studying this semester?
FrankLapidas is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to FrankLapidas For This Useful Post:
Elizabeth333 (08-26-2015), Olivia2011 (08-24-2015), Tooshabby (08-23-2015), Venecia (08-23-2015)
Old 08-23-2015, 12:08 PM
  # 243 (permalink)  
Member
 
Cissy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,374
Scratch that.
Cissy is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Cissy For This Useful Post:
Elizabeth333 (08-26-2015), Tooshabby (08-23-2015), Venecia (08-23-2015)
Old 08-23-2015, 12:48 PM
  # 244 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jsbodhi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by FrankLapidas View Post
It's more than okay, Jsbodhi. Please make this your home. Good people on this thread. And tell us more about yourself . . . what are you studying this semester?
Well lets see, I study sociology concentrated in criminology combined with psych ( no wonder I drink....) I own a little business, I travel a ton, not married, no kids.
I write, am learning guitar, I paint a little.
I love the outdoors, hiking, fishing, swimming.
I really want to be sober and happy, I'm pretty happy in general, but I drink alone and hide it, I'm getting better but its still out of control

What about you? Who are you?
Jsbodhi is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Jsbodhi For This Useful Post:
Elizabeth333 (08-26-2015), FrankLapidas (08-23-2015), Olivia2011 (08-24-2015), Tooshabby (08-23-2015)
Old 08-23-2015, 12:57 PM
  # 245 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: West Coast USA
Posts: 900
Originally Posted by Jsbodhi View Post
Well lets see, I study sociology concentrated in criminology combined with psych ( no wonder I drink....) I own a little business, I travel a ton, not married, no kids.
I write, am learning guitar, I paint a little.
I love the outdoors, hiking, fishing, swimming.
I really want to be sober and happy, I'm pretty happy in general, but I drink alone and hide it, I'm getting better but its still out of control
It sounds like you have all the ingredients for a full life. But why do you drink alone?
FrankLapidas is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to FrankLapidas For This Useful Post:
Olivia2011 (08-24-2015), Tooshabby (08-23-2015), Venecia (08-23-2015)
Old 08-23-2015, 01:06 PM
  # 246 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jsbodhi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by FrankLapidas View Post
It sounds like you have all the ingredients for a full life. But why do you drink alone?
Because I prefer it, I like sitting alone and listening to music, my business and school really stress me out so I drink to go from 60-0 as fast I can, and I get insomnia so I drink to sleep.
Its also Russian roulette if I drink with others, I can be lovely, or a deranged lunatic- safer if I'm alone at home.
Lately I haven't been a lunatic because I don't drink as much, I just go to bed after the bottle of wine is done, but my life would be so much better without alcohol, I am just finding it very difficult to give it up.
Jsbodhi is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Jsbodhi For This Useful Post:
FrankLapidas (08-24-2015), Olivia2011 (08-24-2015), Tooshabby (08-23-2015), Venecia (08-23-2015)
Old 08-23-2015, 01:18 PM
  # 247 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jsbodhi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
I have a lot of work to do to get used to not drinking.
I'm actually on my A game socially when I'm sober, I don't like others to be around me when I'm drinking, I just need to find more productive ways to deal with my boredom, stress, and insomnia.
I've used alcohol to unwind since I've been 20, I'm 32 now, its a deeply ingrained habit and crutch
Jsbodhi is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Jsbodhi For This Useful Post:
Elizabeth333 (08-26-2015), FrankLapidas (08-24-2015), Olivia2011 (08-24-2015), Tooshabby (08-23-2015), Venecia (08-23-2015)
Old 08-23-2015, 01:20 PM
  # 248 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: West Coast USA
Posts: 900
Originally Posted by Jsbodhi View Post
Because I prefer it, I like sitting alone and listening to music, my business and school really stress me out so I drink to go from 60-0 as fast I can, and I get insomnia so I drink to sleep.
Its also Russian roulette if I drink with others, I can be lovely, or a deranged lunatic- safer if I'm alone at home.
Lately I haven't been a lunatic because I don't drink as much, I just go to bed after the bottle of wine is done, but my life would be so much better without alcohol, I am just finding it very difficult to give it up.
I've been drinking alone too the last couple of years. Mostly to avoid embarrassment. When I drink in public I either (a) am convinced that every girl within a hundred yards desperately wants me, or (b) I get on my high horse and am convinced I have the answer to everything. In other words, I tend to make a fool of myself.

Hang in here and elsewhere, Jsbodhi. Yes, it is difficult, but it can be done.

And with that I need to take leave for awhile, but I will be back to check in with you and others. Please keep posting.

FrankLapidas is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to FrankLapidas For This Useful Post:
Cissy (08-23-2015), Elizabeth333 (08-26-2015), Jsbodhi (08-23-2015), Tooshabby (08-23-2015), Venecia (08-23-2015)
Old 08-23-2015, 03:21 PM
  # 249 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 41,352
Missed you by a couple hours. Still keeping an eye on you.
Hevyn is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
Cissy (08-23-2015), Elizabeth333 (08-26-2015), FrankLapidas (08-24-2015), Jsbodhi (08-23-2015), NestWasEmpty (08-24-2015), Olivia2011 (08-24-2015), Venecia (08-23-2015)
Old 08-23-2015, 03:32 PM
  # 250 (permalink)  
Member
 
Tooshabby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Auckland
Posts: 2,548
Hi all, great to read all your wisecracks and have a few laughs :-D

Jsbodhi - if you can get on top of this at 32 that would be fantastic. Sounds like you're doing really well. Good for you. I was just ramping up my drinking at that age :-/

Hi Frank!!
Tooshabby is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Tooshabby For This Useful Post:
Elizabeth333 (08-26-2015), FrankLapidas (08-24-2015), Hevyn (08-23-2015), Jsbodhi (08-23-2015), Olivia2011 (08-24-2015), Venecia (08-23-2015)
Old 08-23-2015, 03:41 PM
  # 251 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 41,352
Me too, Tooshabby. The worst was still to come for me at 32.
Hevyn is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Hevyn For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (08-23-2015), Elizabeth333 (08-26-2015), FrankLapidas (08-24-2015), Jsbodhi (08-23-2015), Olivia2011 (08-24-2015), Tooshabby (08-23-2015), Venecia (08-23-2015)
Old 08-23-2015, 04:15 PM
  # 252 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jsbodhi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Originally Posted by Hevyn View Post
Me too, Tooshabby. The worst was still to come for me at 32.
Thats what I'm afraid of and why I'm trying to stop now, I FEEL its getting weirder and more unhealthy, its going to go downhill from here fast and very badly if I don't rein it in.
Glad to be here anyway
Xoxo
Jsbodhi is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Jsbodhi For This Useful Post:
Elizabeth333 (08-26-2015), FrankLapidas (08-24-2015), Hevyn (08-23-2015), NestWasEmpty (08-24-2015), Olivia2011 (08-24-2015), Tooshabby (08-23-2015), Venecia (08-23-2015)
Old 08-23-2015, 05:46 PM
  # 253 (permalink)  
Member
 
Venecia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,810
Originally Posted by Jsbodhi View Post
I get insomnia so I drink to sleep.
Its also Russian roulette if I drink with others, I can be lovely, or a deranged lunatic- safer if I'm alone at home.
Sounds familiar.

At age 32, you can have more years of sobriety ahead of you than a lot of us. It was at about that age, maybe a little older, when I made the transition to more drinking at home alone than with others. Trust me, it is a Russian roulette all its own.

Because I'd become a closet drinker, there aren't many people in my life who know I'd become an alcoholic. It is every bit as dangerous, maybe more. And, yeah, the point when one bottle isn't enough is a sad wake-up call, one I ignored.
Venecia is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Venecia For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (08-23-2015), Elizabeth333 (08-26-2015), FrankLapidas (08-24-2015), Hevyn (08-23-2015), Olivia2011 (08-24-2015), Tooshabby (08-23-2015)
Old 08-23-2015, 05:47 PM
  # 254 (permalink)  
Member
 
Venecia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 4,810
And how are you, Frank?
Venecia is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Venecia For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (08-24-2015), FrankLapidas (08-24-2015), Hevyn (08-23-2015), Jsbodhi (08-24-2015), Tooshabby (08-23-2015)
Old 08-24-2015, 11:40 AM
  # 255 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: West Coast USA
Posts: 900
Originally Posted by Venecia View Post
And how are you, Frank?
Doing okay, Venecia. Not great, but okay. I think the antidepressants may be working, slowly but surely. I have a followup appt. with Doc tomorrow to evaluate, and also to try to determine why I have no appetite and have had a rather startling weight loss. Just call me Skinny Frank.

Jsbodhi, how are you today? Remember, this thread is yours, too, so keep in touch. Also, what is the origin of your user name?

Waving hello to Shabby, Cissy, Hevyn, Olivia, Saoutchik, Nest, Dee, Sadie, and all.
FrankLapidas is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to FrankLapidas For This Useful Post:
Cissy (08-24-2015), Dee74 (08-24-2015), Hevyn (08-24-2015), NestWasEmpty (08-25-2015), Olivia2011 (08-25-2015), PennyLane76 (08-25-2015), Tooshabby (08-24-2015)
Old 08-24-2015, 09:52 PM
  # 256 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jsbodhi's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 7,837
Hey guys,

Glad to hear you're doing ok Frank even if its not great xoxo
I hope you get your appetite back!!!

I'm doing well, I didn't really get much done today :/ I didn't complete my work, I stayed in bed most of the day in bed with an Irishman I've been seeing...he goes back to Ireland next week ( sad)
Tomorrow I'll be more productive.
The username is the name of my old dog- Bodhi, named after the bank robbing surfer in the movie point break


How is everyone else doing?
Jsbodhi is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Jsbodhi For This Useful Post:
FrankLapidas (08-25-2015), Olivia2011 (08-25-2015), Tooshabby (08-25-2015)
Old 08-25-2015, 02:49 AM
  # 257 (permalink)  
Member
 
Tooshabby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Auckland
Posts: 2,548
I'm doing okay. Reading this thread prompted me to watch 'Born Into This' again. I remember watching it a long time ago and thinking what a complete a'hole....but seeing it again, I just felt really sorry for him.

Others? How you doin?
Tooshabby is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Tooshabby For This Useful Post:
FrankLapidas (08-25-2015), Jsbodhi (08-25-2015), Olivia2011 (08-25-2015)
Old 08-25-2015, 07:48 AM
  # 258 (permalink)  
saoutchik
 
saoutchik's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 13,280
I too am a closet alcoholic. Weekdays I would get home from work, cook, then would try to hang on until my 9pm booze watershed. Quick drinker (whiskey) so would be unable to understand the tv by 10pm and would black out between 10:30 and 11pm. What a waste of life

Doing better now, I actually feel useful at work

Glad those anti depressants are beginning to work Frank

Keep trying Jsbodhi - I am the worst moderator ever, it just doesn't work for me

It's been raining in London for most of the last two days. I'm being kept waiting buy a guy who is trying to persuade be to bid for a contract (for personal protective equipment) that I know i'm not going to get but he wants it to look like there was a competitive tender. Going to leave if he keeps me any longer
saoutchik is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to saoutchik For This Useful Post:
Elizabeth333 (08-26-2015), FrankLapidas (08-25-2015), Jsbodhi (08-25-2015), Olivia2011 (08-25-2015), Tooshabby (08-25-2015)
Old 08-25-2015, 09:42 AM
  # 259 (permalink)  
Member
 
Cissy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 1,374
Frank, I'm pretty concerned about you now that I hear you say you rarely eat and have lost a lot of weight. You are malnourished so it's no wonder you feel so low emotionally and spiritually. I hope to God you are taking a potent daily multivitamin at least. A low vitamin D level will make you REALLY depressed. Spend time out in the sunshine. Another great source of V-D. (Oh no! VD.)

Seriously though, merely not drinking isn't going to fix all that ails you. You need to replenish all that your body was deprived of while drinking all those years. Please do something to help in that way. Ensures, Boost, etc. And a really good multivitamin, but not on a totally empty stomach.

It will do far more for your mood than any antidepressant. Please take care of yourself.
Cissy is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Cissy For This Useful Post:
Elizabeth333 (08-26-2015), FrankLapidas (08-25-2015), Jsbodhi (08-25-2015), Olivia2011 (08-25-2015), Tooshabby (08-25-2015)
Old 08-25-2015, 02:07 PM
  # 260 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: West Coast USA
Posts: 900
Originally Posted by Jsbodhi View Post
I didn't complete my work, I stayed in bed most of the day in bed with an Irishman
You should patent that. Get sober, sleep with an Irishman!


Did you make it out of bed today?
FrankLapidas is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to FrankLapidas For This Useful Post:
Elizabeth333 (08-26-2015), Olivia2011 (08-25-2015), Tooshabby (08-25-2015)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:22 PM.