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Class of July 2015 Part 5

Old 08-08-2015, 08:41 AM
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Struggling a bit today guys.

I'm staying in a hotel tonight for a family do. Everyone here knows about the issue but they're all sat in the bar and Ive left as I wasn't comfortable. Nobody in our gang is drinking but others around us were and just meh... I'm not ready for that yet.

Safely tucked away now though and will do some reading until we go out for a meal. Reading how you are all doing helped. I'm not tempted to drink or anything it's just not a place I want to be.
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Old 08-08-2015, 09:43 AM
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Managed to stay away. Too much temptation this early on. Hope you are ok CMM & BBB
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Old 08-08-2015, 09:46 AM
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Originally Posted by forabetterlife View Post
I need to come back and join you all, I hope you will still have me. This past week I drank nightly and I just turned away from SR. There is no rhyme or reason. I had an afternoon to myself, I was feeling great, kids were gone, I was going to cook fro my boyfriend a was a week end decided I would drink " just a few" , "just for today". That was a week ago.

I worked all week, but gave into the lie that drinking after work would help my stress. Yesterday, for the millionth and final time, I am accepting that my 11 year on and off relationship is off and it must be for good. This part truly has nothing to do with drinking, except maybe for the fact that I allow myself to be mistreated when I am in a drinking cycle because I feel so badly about myself. I abandoned exercising daily and have been eating terribly this past week as well.

I'm embarrassed that I've been around so long and am still struggling with this, but I am not giving up. School starts Monday for my girls and for me. I need to be clear headed and on my game, present for my kids who are growing up way too fast. My oldest begins her senior year, my baby, it is mind boggling to me.

I would rather stay with all of you than join the August class as I have gotten to know many of you. I wish this wasn't so hard, and I wish even more that I didn't make it so hard on myself by having to start over time and time again.

I just needed to jump in, and come clean, because avoiding SR is always my first mistake. I know today will most likely be
Welcome back FABL, I'd like to think we are all welcome here, this group has been immensely supportive and we are all in the same position, for better or worse.
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Old 08-08-2015, 10:26 AM
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Praying for all those who are struggling today. My you win the battle and see another day through sober.
FABL- Glad to see that you are back. We missed you!

Day 35: I think I am finally making peace with the fear of the unknown at the work place. I gave it over to God and who knows, it may end up being a chance for me to shine in the end! I am having a treat yourself weekend. I got my hair cut really cute and highlighted yesterday and today I am taking advantage of our "tax-fee weekend" and doing some shopping for myself. I will have no chance for cravings tonight, as I will be spending time at my nephew's 6th birthday party with family and friends.
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Old 08-08-2015, 11:52 AM
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That's great cbf hang in. I decided to go to an alcohol free barbecue I was invited to. I wasn't planning on it but I was falling into a pit alone.

ang shopping is always great! Filling the time with constructive activities always helps.
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Old 08-08-2015, 11:54 AM
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Sounds tough bbb. Good choice to leave the bar though.
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Old 08-08-2015, 12:25 PM
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Welcome back FABL

I've been struggling a fair bit today too...the sun is out, the weather really lovely and the thought of a lovely cold glass of you know what has been on my mind off and on all afternoon/evening.

I have kept myself busy with clearing out the shed etc. I've eaten an ice cream, had a bath and got pj's on so feeling safe again, but it wasn't easy!

Hope everyone else doing ok?

Early night for me I think...
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Old 08-08-2015, 01:01 PM
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Thanks for the support all. I got through a pretty tricky urge just now. But I did it and feel a lot better. First real test of my resolve.

Tomorrow WILL be day 25.

Keep rackin' em up guys.

To all the others struggling tonight, I used the DEADS tool if this helps anyone else, included which ones I used too.

Delay - ate as much as possible so I had a full stomach!

Escape - Hightailed it

Accept - 'I'm in a bar for heavens sake, it's totally normal for me to be having this urge, I do NOT have to act on it, I am in control here.'

Dispute - I can't type what I said inside my head to my AV...

Substitute - Got myself into the hottest bath known to man.
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Old 08-08-2015, 01:05 PM
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FABL - Welcome back. Glad to hear from you. You can do this, you just gotta commit 100%. Keep tweaking your plan until it works!
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Old 08-08-2015, 02:45 PM
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I very nearly made a stupid mistake tonight. I let my AV get the best of me and bought myself four cans of lager on the way home. It didn't sit easy with me, and I wasn't exactly looking forward to them, but I bought them anyway. Stupid.

Fortunately, I made myself something to eat before I took things any further, and half way through my meal I stood up and poured them all down the sink. I shouldn't have put myself in that situation, but I'm glad that it didn't ultimately result in me drinking.

Phew. I hope everyone else can stay strong tonight. Good luck everybody.
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Old 08-08-2015, 04:07 PM
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FABL , so sorry to hear you have been having troubles.

Please stay with us, and reach out for help when you need it...you can do this, it's entirely in your power to stay sober.
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Old 08-08-2015, 04:22 PM
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Cbf123, that is awesome! Way to be strong! Pouring it out after you've bought it is so much harder than not buying it!
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Old 08-08-2015, 04:38 PM
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welcome back FABL

D
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Old 08-08-2015, 05:30 PM
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Hello Julyers!

FABL, I've been thinking about you. Sorry about the struggles but am so happy you're back with us.

It looks like this weekend has been challenging for many of us, but we're posting and still on it, so that's a victory. I hope that you all find, as I do, that talking about job stuff (retail jobs, shop owners, teachers corporate work-'risk management'-yikes) helps you cope. Not to mention, family and personal stuff... Good job, everyone.
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Old 08-08-2015, 05:38 PM
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So I went to the periodontist again yesterday and things are progressing nicely. It's going to be a long road though. (Thanks for your best wishes, cbf)

And letitgo, thanks for the link. I'm sure drinking contributed to my gum disease.

I ended up getting really busy with a friend's yard sale yesterday PM and all day today. Neither of us really like yard sales but it needed to be done--she's moving away (sob). Anyway, we basically put things in semi-organized piles and she managed to make quite a bit of moola. (One thing we enjoyed--- She was selling her ex-husband's bowling balls, so she wrote a sign, "ex's *****---$1". People got a chuckle from that and the person who bought them is going to plant flowers in the finger holes.)

Needless to say Toadies, her ex is nothing like you, a person who really knows how to use a bowling ball.

Getting off track, so must go.

Hang in there everyone and have a great evening/day.
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Old 08-08-2015, 06:01 PM
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Glad I resolved not to let work get to me because it was a hectic, rather tense day that kept getting more annoying as closing time approached. I can't say I succeeded in not letting it get to me, but I did not let it cause me to have a meltdown. Before I left I saw my co-workers' beer in the fridge and just sneered at it and walked off. That stuff is not for me any more! Let the weekend begin!
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Old 08-08-2015, 06:34 PM
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It's been a while since I posted and in glad to see how you all are. I'm on day 13 - tomorrow will be two weeks! I've definitely had urges today and yesterday. Been thinking how "nice" a beer would be. But I know it's not possible for just one. Besides I had to count pennies today for cigarettes. Ugh

My moods are all over the place. And I haven't really felt "happy" since quitting the booze. I'm just more quiet and when I do say something to my husband, it's snarky. I don't know what's going on with me.

I missed my meeting today but did go this past week. I haven't read much either and I can tell if I don't get back to working the program, it's going to end badly. Tomorrow I have a baby shower to go to and someone insinuated that the punch was going to be spiked.
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Old 08-08-2015, 08:00 PM
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Congrats BBB and cbf on fighting the urge. Pouring it out once bought had to be tough cbf. Good for you!

Finishing up a quiet, sober day 36. I'm sore from pulling English ivy for hours today. No urges or AV today. I'm about halfway through the book "Drinking, A love story". Sorry to learn the author died of lung cancer in 2002. She was the same age as me and many of the reference in the book match my time period. I'm only half way through but I am a bit taken aback by how much she romanticizes alcohol and ascribes all sorts of special powers to it. She's a good writer and I think she uses a bit of literary license in expressing her love affair with alcohol. This is in direct conflict with Alan Carr's summation that it is just this type of romanticized glamorization that is the root of the problem with alcohol. But...I'm only half-way through and this is just my amateur opinion so no offence meant to those who love the book.

Ok, getting tired now, 11pm on the east coast of the US. So good night and good morning folks!
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Old 08-08-2015, 08:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Cbf123 View Post
I very nearly made a stupid mistake tonight. I let my AV get the best of me and bought myself four cans of lager on the way home. It didn't sit easy with me, and I wasn't exactly looking forward to them, but I bought them anyway. Stupid.

Fortunately, I made myself something to eat before I took things any further, and half way through my meal I stood up and poured them all down the sink. I shouldn't have put myself in that situation, but I'm glad that it didn't ultimately result in me drinking.

Phew. I hope everyone else can stay strong tonight. Good luck everybody.
Wow, that shows incredible strength! You rock!

Well I spent all day with family (my Mum and brother were both doing a skydive), and my Dad had beer. That was a struggle. It was a hot day and I was thirsty. But I got some water and got over it.

This evening I went to a BBQ with some friends I haven't seen for a long time. It's now 4:05am, I've just got in, and had nothing stronger than coke. And I had a fantastic evening! Glad to be waking up in a few hours hangover free!

Stay strong
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Old 08-08-2015, 08:40 PM
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About have way through the love story and I second your thoughts on how she very detailed in glorifying her alcohol usuage. She bring up others thoughts and statements but they are not as compelling as her act of drinking and fantasizing.

Well I was all alone today. I was afraid I would go to the store. I had thoughts but I let them pass. Sorry for those who had a tough day. Tomorrow is a new day. I read your post ealier and it stopped from.engaging the thought of going even further.

Been reading on sr. Thinking of putting together a plan for urges. They are getting weaker but I forget about ways to get through them or anxiety attacks. First and foremost sobriety is 24 hours at a time. Second if I have a craving I check halt symptoms first. I also wait at least 1 hour to cool down and think if it's really crossing into the drinking world threshold. I accept tne fact i have an urge. I am glad i am quiting smoking at the same time because i am mainly missing smoking but only habit. Not missing the coughing or the smell. The nicotine is long gone.I also use redirection like a small child. Find something to do, eat or drink to get my mind off the urge.

I hope you mouth heals tod.
Have a better day BBB. Great job leave the bar and I like the acronym you have.
Welcome back again Jillian. Long time no post.

Have a nice evening...
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