Class of July 2015 Part 5
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Liverpool, UK
Posts: 267
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I'm glad to see you back too shabby - thats half the battle.
I never thought I could win out over those auto pilot moments...but when I looked at it, there were always many possible moments when I could have made a different decision.
Once the crazy train has started it's not easy to stop it - but it really is possible
perhaps the only thing more important than support is our willingness to use it when we need it
D
I never thought I could win out over those auto pilot moments...but when I looked at it, there were always many possible moments when I could have made a different decision.
Once the crazy train has started it's not easy to stop it - but it really is possible
perhaps the only thing more important than support is our willingness to use it when we need it
D
The class is progressing quite nicely :-)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: TX
Posts: 239
You did the right thing by coming right back and we are glad to have you here TS!!!!
Milly- I hope you feel better soon.
I hope that everyone has a great, sober Friday! I am still battling with issues but I WILL NOT DRINK!
Milly- I hope you feel better soon.
I hope that everyone has a great, sober Friday! I am still battling with issues but I WILL NOT DRINK!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Way to go angD, sing it sister!!!!
A night ahead with my nephew - he's 10 - means I will not be tempted to drink, yeah! I need a night with little temptation to counter all the temptation I had earlier this week....happy Friday y'all!
A night ahead with my nephew - he's 10 - means I will not be tempted to drink, yeah! I need a night with little temptation to counter all the temptation I had earlier this week....happy Friday y'all!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ontario
Posts: 82
Thanks ang hang in there. The urges do pass if you can grit your teeth and get through it. It was the most novel thing when I realized that.
Woot kittycat!
I feel better. I feel really proud of myself. I got through yesterday and today - like the difficult anxiety and stress and took care of myself and got through it. One of my goals is to learn how to manage my anxiety without drugs or alcohol.
Have a good night all!
Woot kittycat!
I feel better. I feel really proud of myself. I got through yesterday and today - like the difficult anxiety and stress and took care of myself and got through it. One of my goals is to learn how to manage my anxiety without drugs or alcohol.
Have a good night all!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 737
Relaxing after work on day 19. Some days at the shop are an emotional roller coaster for me. We are all close friends there and it allows some really weird tensions to develop sometimes. Things usually smooth out by the end of the day, and I'm now making a point to leave right after we close in order to distance myself from the "flip the open sign, lock the door, crack a beer" ritual.
"Take a shower and drink a soda" seems to work just as well.
"Take a shower and drink a soda" seems to work just as well.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 132
Congrats kittycat, angd.
Sober day 35 in the books. Had fun today at work. On my run this eve it was the first time my knee did not hurt since April. I had a moment of feeling ecstatic that I'm finally getting over my injury and within seconds had a very brief crave/celebration thought pop in my head. I squelched it as ridiculously stupid very quickly. But it bugs me that it popped in my head. Of course feeling THAT good is rare so I'm not used to dealing with it.
I guess that's why it takes so long to get to a stable sober point, all these novel triggers, like landmines, pop up unexpectedly. Well, dodged that one.
Have a great night folks.
Sober day 35 in the books. Had fun today at work. On my run this eve it was the first time my knee did not hurt since April. I had a moment of feeling ecstatic that I'm finally getting over my injury and within seconds had a very brief crave/celebration thought pop in my head. I squelched it as ridiculously stupid very quickly. But it bugs me that it popped in my head. Of course feeling THAT good is rare so I'm not used to dealing with it.
I guess that's why it takes so long to get to a stable sober point, all these novel triggers, like landmines, pop up unexpectedly. Well, dodged that one.
Have a great night folks.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: TX
Posts: 239
Way to go Bob! I like the land mine metaphor. That is exactly how I am feeling now. It's almost like things were finally going great in my life for once, so here have a few landmines to deal with on top of getting sober. I guess that's just life but it sure is hard having to face things without having anything to dull/numb the struggles. We just have to keep reminding ourselves that struggling through them sober and with a clear mind or celebrating the smallest victory without alcohol is definitely better than the alternative.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: South of I-40
Posts: 33
Woke up to day 35 today. Had to fight off some cravings last night and some serious triggers. Stress over a seriously ill pet and being extremely hot and dehydrated was pushing me off a cliff. I was able to fight it off with the help of a 32 oz of Gatorate.
In the last 34 days I've saved in excess of $400 in alcohol. Based on my binge habits, that's about 4000 calories a week in just alcohol. Estimate another 2500+ calories per week, saved from needless binge driven food feasts. I have a terrible side effect of drinking. I turn into a late night chef wannabe. I've blacked out and seen evidence the next day, leaving me disgusted. Nothing creative, just bizarre over indulgence like an entire pack of bacon or hotdogs.
Strange, I really haven't lost any weight despite the huge reduction in calories.
Anyway, one day at a time. Best of luck everyone.
In the last 34 days I've saved in excess of $400 in alcohol. Based on my binge habits, that's about 4000 calories a week in just alcohol. Estimate another 2500+ calories per week, saved from needless binge driven food feasts. I have a terrible side effect of drinking. I turn into a late night chef wannabe. I've blacked out and seen evidence the next day, leaving me disgusted. Nothing creative, just bizarre over indulgence like an entire pack of bacon or hotdogs.
Strange, I really haven't lost any weight despite the huge reduction in calories.
Anyway, one day at a time. Best of luck everyone.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Liverpool, UK
Posts: 267
Hello! Hope everyone is doing well.
I mentioned previously that Saturday has always been my weakness when it comes to drinking. I work in retail with a group of guys, and when Saturday night comes, the shutters come down and the beers get opened. I won't be partaking today (and hopefully ever again), but I'll be checking in on here to keep myself from any temptation. Just not worth it.
Best of luck to anybody else fighting their AV today!
I mentioned previously that Saturday has always been my weakness when it comes to drinking. I work in retail with a group of guys, and when Saturday night comes, the shutters come down and the beers get opened. I won't be partaking today (and hopefully ever again), but I'll be checking in on here to keep myself from any temptation. Just not worth it.
Best of luck to anybody else fighting their AV today!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
I need to come back and join you all, I hope you will still have me. This past week I drank nightly and I just turned away from SR. There is no rhyme or reason. I had an afternoon to myself, I was feeling great, kids were gone, I was going to cook fro my boyfriend a was a week end decided I would drink " just a few" , "just for today". That was a week ago.
I worked all week, but gave into the lie that drinking after work would help my stress. Yesterday, for the millionth and final time, I am accepting that my 11 year on and off relationship is off and it must be for good. This part truly has nothing to do with drinking, except maybe for the fact that I allow myself to be mistreated when I am in a drinking cycle because I feel so badly about myself. I abandoned exercising daily and have been eating terribly this past week as well.
I'm embarrassed that I've been around so long and am still struggling with this, but I am not giving up. School starts Monday for my girls and for me. I need to be clear headed and on my game, present for my kids who are growing up way too fast. My oldest begins her senior year, my baby, it is mind boggling to me.
I would rather stay with all of you than join the August class as I have gotten to know many of you. I wish this wasn't so hard, and I wish even more that I didn't make it so hard on myself by having to start over time and time again.
I just needed to jump in, and come clean, because avoiding SR is always my first mistake. I know today will most likely be
I worked all week, but gave into the lie that drinking after work would help my stress. Yesterday, for the millionth and final time, I am accepting that my 11 year on and off relationship is off and it must be for good. This part truly has nothing to do with drinking, except maybe for the fact that I allow myself to be mistreated when I am in a drinking cycle because I feel so badly about myself. I abandoned exercising daily and have been eating terribly this past week as well.
I'm embarrassed that I've been around so long and am still struggling with this, but I am not giving up. School starts Monday for my girls and for me. I need to be clear headed and on my game, present for my kids who are growing up way too fast. My oldest begins her senior year, my baby, it is mind boggling to me.
I would rather stay with all of you than join the August class as I have gotten to know many of you. I wish this wasn't so hard, and I wish even more that I didn't make it so hard on myself by having to start over time and time again.
I just needed to jump in, and come clean, because avoiding SR is always my first mistake. I know today will most likely be
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 132
fabl no need to be embarrassed with us. We are the same. Every time I fell off the wagon I wrote and remembered as much as I could about what I was thinking and feeling at the time. Then I'd go back and review it, re-read it and try to learn from it. I think my drinking journal is about 60 pages now.
TheRepairman I've gained 10 pounds in the last few months. I have been eating more to keep myself full near my danger zone around dinner-time. Gaining a few pounds is not good but its not going to screw-up my brain and body like drinking. I'm prioritizing right now: job one: DON'T DRINK. Job two: THEIR AINT NO JOB TWO.
Start of sober day 36. Already been out in the yard pruning the rosebushes. I have lots of ivy to pull up today and I have let the yard go while I was busy being a drunk.
Already picked out a place to run, a movie, and what to eat this evening.
Have a good 'urn today folks!
TheRepairman I've gained 10 pounds in the last few months. I have been eating more to keep myself full near my danger zone around dinner-time. Gaining a few pounds is not good but its not going to screw-up my brain and body like drinking. I'm prioritizing right now: job one: DON'T DRINK. Job two: THEIR AINT NO JOB TWO.
Start of sober day 36. Already been out in the yard pruning the rosebushes. I have lots of ivy to pull up today and I have let the yard go while I was busy being a drunk.
Already picked out a place to run, a movie, and what to eat this evening.
Have a good 'urn today folks!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ontario
Posts: 82
fabl no need to be embarrassed with us. We are the same. Every time I fell off the wagon I wrote and remembered as much as I could about what I was thinking and feeling at the time. Then I'd go back and review it, re-read it and try to learn from it. I think my drinking journal is about 60 pages now.
for a betterlife- welcome back. I think what matters is you keep trying.
Cbf I'm struggling too. Keep posting if it helps, I'll be here reading probably throughout the day.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Athens, GA
Posts: 737
Day 20. Getting ready to leave my cave for what is my Friday at the shop. Today I want to focus on listening without reacting. I will respond thoughtfully. I will not take things personally. If I find myself having negative or escapist thoughts I will not get sucked in to them, which makes my mood go south.
Happy Saturday everyone! Stay strong :-)
Happy Saturday everyone! Stay strong :-)
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