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Class of July 2015 Part 5

Old 08-01-2015, 04:35 AM
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Originally Posted by Bluebird2007 View Post
Hello everyone

I have trouble doing relaxing things without feeling guilty. If I'm not at work, I feel that I should be doing jobs at home. I think, for me, drinking was a way of getting out of this mentality and I would continue doing jobs during my first couple of drinks until I forgot to care anymore.

If I'm away on holiday it's fine and I feel ok about reading a book etc. but on an evening and weekend at home I feel bad if I'm not doing something 'productive'. The sun is out here (for once) but the thought of putting a blanket on the lawn and reading a book seems inappropriately indulgent and I feel that I should be ironing instead! Part of me thinks that I should get my chores done first and then relax but, to be honest, I feel like I have that much to do in and out of the house that I would never be in a 'finished' state. Does anyone else have this experience? What messages do you give yourself?

Apologies if this sounds trivial but I put a lot of pressure on myself, which I think has been part of my problem, and I'd like to fix this so it doesn't bite me at some point in the future.

Be mindfull of the moment. When you are at work concentrate on being at work. It's very easy to let our thoughts take us to everywhere except where we are.
I get anxious if things are done around the house. I rationalize it's not like the chores are going anywhere nor will it cause any damage to put them off for a bit. My own internal self conflict.
If you don't get a lot of sun I would make a priority to get outside. Fresh air and vitamin d. Chores will be there still so just do them later. Try to relax because weekends go by so quickly. Have a great day!!
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Old 08-01-2015, 04:45 AM
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Bluebird - I would definitely recommend mindfulness. It helps me see the toughts passing through my head as what they are - just thoughts. I don't have to act on them.

Maybe you could set aside an hour or so each day to just do what you actually want to do? Life balance has always been a problem for me as I struggle to switch off, but at the moment I am making that time for myself and trying to just let my mind do what it wants to do, whether it be read, or just sit.

I have also found that if I don't create any 'me' time and don't find time to do something enjoyable, rather than things I am required to do, I get very down, which usually starts a craving, which leads to an urge etc etc..... I have realised that over the past few years, I've not been getting enough of that 'me' time, not been engaging in hobbies or fun activities and instead trying to please other people. Especially at work, which is probably why having a month out of work to 'rehabilitate' myself is helping. So if you are like me, feeling guilty about taking some personal time will just perpetuate the vicious cycle which you have turned to your DOC to cope with?

Hope this helps and makes some sort of sense.
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Old 08-01-2015, 05:01 AM
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Good morning all. Day 7. Wish I we're entering the new month with 31 days under my belt, but I'll take 7 Very tired today - my 7 month old has decided she doesn't want to sleep through the night anymore so have been up with her the last 2 nights. Not sure what the deal is - teething maybe? She's fine once I go in and pick her up though.

Keep up the good fight everyone. Let's make the last month of summer a sober one
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Old 08-01-2015, 05:07 AM
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Originally Posted by Ladybug2 View Post
Good morning all. Day 7. Wish I we're entering the new month with 31 days under my belt, but I'll take 7 Very tired today - my 7 month old has decided she doesn't want to sleep through the night anymore so have been up with her the last 2 nights. Not sure what the deal is - teething maybe? She's fine once I go in and pick her up though.

Keep up the good fight everyone. Let's make the last month of summer a sober one
Ah, bless. My ten week old started teething very early (7 weeks!) and she'd be awful to settle. Hope it passes soon!

How us everyone getting on this afternoon? The weather is wet and windy here, so my temptation is definitely being held in check, although I love the rain, and I don't struggle for a trigger when I want to drink. Got to keep saying my mantra:

NOT TODAY!
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Old 08-01-2015, 05:13 AM
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Thanks BBB and legitgo - you're right; just because a thought exists it doesn't mean I have to respond to it. I will try your suggestions.
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Old 08-01-2015, 05:29 AM
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Good morning or evening everyone!

So many posts to follow! Perused them all, and the overall tone is positive, so much success being shared here, lets keep it up!

I've hit day 30 or 1 month today, plan on reducing my daily count to months at this point, it is what I expect and demand of myself, no tolerance for failure!

August is here, a new month and a new class, so I'm looking forward to following the month's class and offering anything useful that I can add.

We are in control of what we choose to do in regards to alcohol/substances, so continue making the right choices.

Here's to a great weekend to all!

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Old 08-01-2015, 05:38 AM
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Congratulations on 1 month Toadie!
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Old 08-01-2015, 05:53 AM
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Congratulations Toadie!! That's a big deal but like you said we all need to continue our good choices. Have a great day!
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Old 08-01-2015, 05:55 AM
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Congratulations on a month Toadie.
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Old 08-01-2015, 06:00 AM
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way to go Toadie - you too ladybug

D
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Old 08-01-2015, 06:34 AM
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Originally Posted by CuteNGayYay View Post

So cal near Anaheim. So the OC. where u moving? Everyone have a fab and sober weekend
Near L.A. with my roommate that use to live there. I'm a little worried that I mite not like it as much as I think though... We will see

Happy Saturday Morning sober people!

Made it through my (kind of) date last night with flying colors. No alcohol & no temptation. Had great conversation & before I knew it, it has been 3 hours. Day 26, 8:33am... Have a good weekend folks
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Old 08-01-2015, 06:48 AM
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Hey all. Congrats toadie!

Day two of the long weekend and I think I'm struggling? I can't seem to find something to do today. I don't have any friends. Looked at movies playing but none interest me.

Honestly I'm bummed bc it's a beautiful Saturday and I don't have anything to do or anyone to do it with. I'm very isolated and have been for a long time. Normally I keep myself busy and constructive, but sometimes I get work out with it. Then I end up drinking bc it really does seem like who cares? No one to see, no responsibilities.

That also seems like a dumb reason to drink though.

I guess I should go to a movie even if I'm not that interested.
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Old 08-01-2015, 07:37 AM
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Bluebird I'm late putting in my two cents but I know just how you feel! I beat myself up if I'm not productive, I hear the phrase "justify my existence" rattling around in my head sometimes.

Relaxing is self care, reading in the sun is good for your mind and body. If it lowers stress and enriches your day it's totally worth it. Heck, what's more indulgent than giving into alcoholism? If you're staying sober, you're doing something productive :-)
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Old 08-01-2015, 08:23 AM
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Julyers -- congrats on your graduation to the Daily Support board! You're all doing wonderfully. I hope to continue to see you grow for a long time to come with the support of each other.
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Old 08-01-2015, 08:51 AM
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Originally Posted by callmemilly View Post
Hey all. Congrats toadie!

Day two of the long weekend and I think I'm struggling? I can't seem to find something to do today. I don't have any friends. Looked at movies playing but none interest me.

Honestly I'm bummed bc it's a beautiful Saturday and I don't have anything to do or anyone to do it with. I'm very isolated and have been for a long time. Normally I keep myself busy and constructive, but sometimes I get work out with it. Then I end up drinking bc it really does seem like who cares? No one to see, no responsibilities.

That also seems like a dumb reason to drink though.

I guess I should go to a movie even if I'm not that interested.
Callmemilly I'm the same way. I only have 2 friends & they have normal non alcoholic lives. Here it is Saturday, beautiful & I'm watching golden girls on tv. But this website helps a lot! I get on this app every 3o minutes to an hour sometimes. It keeps me company enough to were I don't start feeling sorry for myself. Hang in there, being sober will branch both of our lives out
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Old 08-01-2015, 09:20 AM
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Originally Posted by callmemilly View Post
Hey all. Congrats toadie!

Day two of the long weekend and I think I'm struggling? I can't seem to find something to do today. I don't have any friends. Looked at movies playing but none interest me.

Honestly I'm bummed bc it's a beautiful Saturday and I don't have anything to do or anyone to do it with. I'm very isolated and have been for a long time. Normally I keep myself busy and constructive, but sometimes I get work out with it. Then I end up drinking bc it really does seem like who cares? No one to see, no responsibilities.

That also seems like a dumb reason to drink though.

I guess I should go to a movie even if I'm not that interested.
Add me to the list of those who identifies with the friend situation and the "why not, who cares" mentality.

In my case drinking has isolated me because I was afraid to drink while out (of course I HAD to drink) and did not want a DUI. Fear of a DUI has actually been a big deal to me. It's that trapped feeling.

But I'm un-learning that fear and I'm going out more now at night. So staying sober is giving us freedom to make friends or not, or just get out and do anything....things we stopped ourselves from doing before.

In the middle of sober day 29. Already involved in my goofy windmill project, been out to get materials, messing with power tools! I'm lucky to have all my fingers as I used to use these tools drunk!

Congrats to our class! Onward to a sober August!
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Old 08-01-2015, 09:32 AM
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Originally Posted by Upwardspiral View Post
Bluebird I'm late putting in my two cents but I know just how you feel! I beat myself up if I'm not productive, I hear the phrase "justify my existence" rattling around in my head sometimes.

Relaxing is self care, reading in the sun is good for your mind and body. If it lowers stress and enriches your day it's totally worth it. Heck, what's more indulgent than giving into alcoholism? If you're staying sober, you're doing something productive :-)
I never thought of it like that Upwardspiral but you're absolutely right.
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Old 08-01-2015, 10:27 AM
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Home and DRY, folks! Here's to a sober Saturday night. I hope you all have an enjoyable one.
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Old 08-01-2015, 10:35 AM
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Great avatar CBF123
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Old 08-01-2015, 10:51 AM
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Toadie- Congrats on one month! You are off to a great start.
Upwardspiral- I am so happy that you have your own place and 12 days sober.
Ladybug- way to go on finding peace with your kiddos and not drinking!
Like everyone has said Drinking: A Love Story is a good read. I think I finished it in 2 days.

I am ready to march forward into August sober! Yay, to all of us for working through July together. Let's get ready to help out some August friends.

I have had 3 great nights of sleep and my dreams have switched to me pouring alcohol down the sink. In one dream, I was about to drink then realized that I don't drink and poured vodka bottles down the sink. The next two days were filled with dreams of me pouring drinks out for others, while I tried to tell them the benefits of sobriety. I will take these dreams over the nightmares anytime. I know it sounds weird but it feels like my brain knows that I don't drink now, even while I am asleep. 28 days and counting.....
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