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Class of July 2015 Part 5

Old 07-31-2015, 04:47 PM
  # 181 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by whiteturtle View Post
Today is my third Day 1. Just typing that is...feels hopeless.
Actually I think you should be proud of yourself. It would be easy to quit quitting and disappear from SR.

You are not quitting quitting, and you keep coming back here. Good job!
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Old 07-31-2015, 04:59 PM
  # 182 (permalink)  
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Day 6'! Been feeling a lot of anxiety. I started taking my antidepressant again. Went out to dinner. Sat in the restaurant not the bar. Ordered flavored iced tea. Dinner was good. Hope I feel better soon.
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Old 07-31-2015, 05:45 PM
  # 183 (permalink)  
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Hi Linz and all of you fighting the good fight, no matter where you are at with it. Keep fighting and keep coming back for support and encouragement.

For the first time in about 15 years there is a tiny part of me that is beginning to believe I can live my life without drinking. I desperately want to get off that infernal merry-go-round. As someone said here, if not now - then when? Binge-drinking has done enormous damage to my self-esteem over the years. It's not just all the stupid things I've said and done and the hurt I've caused myself and others, but more and more I realise that for me it's an underlying sense of having no personal integrity. I'm effectively telling myself over and over again that I can't cope with reality, be myself with people, or have fun and be happy without alcohol. Is that what I truly believe? Nope. I'm set on gathering more evidence to the contrary. There's plenty there already, but addiction has just made me blind to it. Time to open my eyes.

Much love and support to all of you. Thanks for sharing your stories.

xxxx
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Old 07-31-2015, 06:04 PM
  # 184 (permalink)  
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Heck yeah Tooshabby, we all deserve to live our best lives. You can do this!
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Old 07-31-2015, 06:13 PM
  # 185 (permalink)  
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Thanks, Casey, Martina and Dee. I made it through. After posting here I took my daughter up and rocked her while she took a little catnap. Then I went and picked up Chinese for dinner. When my husband asked if I minded going to get it my AV perked up and said "perfect opportunity to stop at liquor store" but then my 5 yo asked if she could go with me (thank goodness) and my AV slithered away. It knew I wouldn't stop if she was with me. It's almost bedtime now and I am so relieved that I didn't take that first drink. Thanks everyone. Day 7 tomorrow
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Old 07-31-2015, 06:14 PM
  # 186 (permalink)  
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great stuff ladybug

D
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Old 07-31-2015, 07:40 PM
  # 187 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Ladybug2 View Post
Thanks, Casey, Martina and Dee. I made it through. After posting here I took my daughter up and rocked her while she took a little catnap. Then I went and picked up Chinese for dinner. When my husband asked if I minded going to get it my AV perked up and said "perfect opportunity to stop at liquor store" but then my 5 yo asked if she could go with me (thank goodness) and my AV slithered away. It knew I wouldn't stop if she was with me. It's almost bedtime now and I am so relieved that I didn't take that first drink. Thanks everyone. Day 7 tomorrow
That's awesome! Way to go! I'm right behind you at 5 (6 tomorrow). For the FIRST time in years that I can remember, we had a family evening and my husband and I were both SOBER! We just got home not too long ago after we shopped till we dropped ( actually till we ran out of money haha) and had dinner at Applebee's with MIL. my kids finally got to be with their REAL parents

Congrats to all the others out there as well!
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Old 07-31-2015, 07:42 PM
  # 188 (permalink)  
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Too shabby, binge drinking has killed myself esteem too. I have lost self confidence. I feel like I can't trust myself. I have such remorse and embarrassment over the crazy things I've done and me and my husband have done while drinking. I have hurt myself, my husband, my family, friends, etc. I've lost time with them, spent too much money, let people down when I couldn't show up bc I was hungover. I've been in such a twisted path. Right now I feel like I shouldn't go anywhere and shouldn't be around anyone. I hope with time I work through this.
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Old 07-31-2015, 07:57 PM
  # 189 (permalink)  
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Rah I can relate 100% about the guilt and regret. I get stuck in that time warp myself. But drinking will just mean you will add to that sh&t pile. The only way out is sobriety and time. You don't have to be perfect ever, and you will have bad days, but sobriety will keep you from doing those regretful things ever again....sounds like the right path to me
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Old 07-31-2015, 08:04 PM
  # 190 (permalink)  
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Welcome Linz.

Sadie1 I had 10 1’s in June. Matter of fact, I probably had 3 to 4 ones every month ALL of 2014. I had saved the calendar, sort of a mark of shame but, finally threw it away. So, I guess, this try is number 50 or so! Maybe I’m a slow learner… :-)

But seriously, I DID, HAVE, and CONTINUE to learn here.

Congrats UP!

Finishing up sober day 28. I feel good. I ran out of my coveted DR. Pepper for my substitute drink for dinner tonight but I didn’t miss it and I had no craving. I’m working the mind-flip the Allen Carr book started. I used to studiously avoid the wine aisle at the grocery store. I can now walk right up to it, and no crap FINALLY understand that it really is poison. I’m not just mouthing the words. It’s really true and I feel it. It’s a crime that they sell this sh*t in the grocery store even within eyesight of children. Ok….off my high horse again….But if you read about a “crazed man” knocking down all the wine displays and screaming incoherently “ITS POISON!!!” Then you might know who done it.

Good sober night to everyone and a GDay to those waking up!
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Old 07-31-2015, 08:24 PM
  # 191 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Sadie1 View Post
I drank again last night due to wanting to stuff down sadness, and feel somewhat disheartened. becoming sober has been harder than I envisioned.

Was feeling strong yesterday then bam received some sad news so went straight for the quick fix and temporary relief of pain. This is my Achilles heel, I can fight AV when angry, but sad/depressed hassa been a problem. I do some volunteer work that has its share of depressing situations and can cause me to be very down very quickly, and upset with humanity

Bob, BBB, Dee1971' LadyB, Jillian, Bluebird, kale, Martina,Time2rise, toadie, SCF, FreetoB, too shabby.., Great Job U all. And everyone else I missed on last page
Sadie1 I have faith in ya! I'm so grateful for what you shared. I never want to get comfortable enough to were I think drinking couldn't happen. My lows can be very low also. So thank u for reminding me that just because today was easy doesn't mean tomorrow will be. I have to be prepared. Goodluck & I cheers(with water lol) to your day 1

Good going everyone else also! Happy 2 b sober on this fabulous Friday night.
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Old 07-31-2015, 09:23 PM
  # 192 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Ladybug2 View Post
Thanks, Casey, Martina and Dee. I made it through. After posting here I took my daughter up and rocked her while she took a little catnap. Then I went and picked up Chinese for dinner. When my husband asked if I minded going to get it my AV perked up and said "perfect opportunity to stop at liquor store" but then my 5 yo asked if she could go with me (thank goodness) and my AV slithered away. It knew I wouldn't stop if she was with me. It's almost bedtime now and I am so relieved that I didn't take that first drink. Thanks everyone. Day 7 tomorrow
That's awesome, Ladybug! Keep those kiddos close--they deserve a mother who's fully there for them.
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Old 07-31-2015, 10:12 PM
  # 193 (permalink)  
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sorry I forgot to welcome you Linz0510 - congrats on 30 days

D
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Old 07-31-2015, 11:40 PM
  # 194 (permalink)  
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Congrats on your Graduation guys - may August be your best month yet

D
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Old 08-01-2015, 12:10 AM
  # 195 (permalink)  
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Hello, all. Today is always the worst day for my AV catching me out. I work Saturdays, and the second the clock strikes 5 my Co - workers will crack open the beers, usually with me as the instigator. Not today!

Daft as it sounds, I've set myself periodic reminders on my phone that'll go off during the day. These will hopefully reinforce the message 'DON'T DRINK!' loud and clear! I'll be checking in here all day, too.

NOT TODAY!
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Old 08-01-2015, 12:21 AM
  # 196 (permalink)  
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Cbf123. - do you have a plan as to what you will do at 5 o'clock instead of having a beer?
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Old 08-01-2015, 12:57 AM
  # 197 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Free2B84 View Post
Hey CnGY, both places are very nice though lol. I plan on moving to Cali next year, what part are you? Its going to be a big change but I'm ready for something new & exciting.

Good going everyone, seems like we all are going through the same ups & downs just at different times. That's awesome! I love getting on here throughout my day & reading. I Alwaz find sumone who is going through something similar as I.

Starting day 25 here & feels amazing. I do have sort of a date/hangout tonight at a restaurant I use to drink at(i didn't pick it), and I'm a little nervous. I don't believe I will be tempted to drink, it's just I hope I don't waist time romantising the idea instead of getting to know this guy.

Goodluck everyone & tgif
So cal near Anaheim. So the OC. where u moving? Everyone have a fab and sober weekend
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Old 08-01-2015, 12:57 AM
  # 198 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Bluebird2007 View Post
Cbf123. - do you have a plan as to what you will do at 5 o'clock instead of having a beer?
That I do - get the hell out of dodge! !

Told my boss that I need to leave at 5 on the dot. Can't drink if I'm not there :-)
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Old 08-01-2015, 03:32 AM
  # 199 (permalink)  
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Morning all, welcome to August

Wow - I have a lot of posts to catch up on. Love how active this class is. Feeling good today, slept the whole night without waking up - probably the first time I've done that in nearly 3 years. Feel very fresh today.

I stumbled on some SMART recovery podcasts last night, which I have been listening to whilst doing things round the house. Most of them are quite in depth discussions on different aspects of recovery, they are very interesting.

Going to have a nice quiet day today. The sun is out so I am thinking some reading in the garden will be nice. Maybe a quick bike ride this afternoon. I am playing golf tomorrow, lock up your family members!

My anger has lessened over the past few days since getting home from Scotland. I have so much more space here, thus my cravings for booze have also lessened. Ipromised my counsellor yesterday that I was going to join a cycling club by the next time I see her. I found a one that is non-competitve and looks quiet good so Iam thinking of joining it. I love cycling but have always done it alone. Hopefully participating with others will provide me some much needed social interaction

B
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Old 08-01-2015, 04:12 AM
  # 200 (permalink)  
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Hello everyone

I have trouble doing relaxing things without feeling guilty. If I'm not at work, I feel that I should be doing jobs at home. I think, for me, drinking was a way of getting out of this mentality and I would continue doing jobs during my first couple of drinks until I forgot to care anymore.

If I'm away on holiday it's fine and I feel ok about reading a book etc. but on an evening and weekend at home I feel bad if I'm not doing something 'productive'. The sun is out here (for once) but the thought of putting a blanket on the lawn and reading a book seems inappropriately indulgent and I feel that I should be ironing instead! Part of me thinks that I should get my chores done first and then relax but, to be honest, I feel like I have that much to do in and out of the house that I would never be in a 'finished' state. Does anyone else have this experience? What messages do you give yourself?

Apologies if this sounds trivial but I put a lot of pressure on myself, which I think has been part of my problem, and I'd like to fix this so it doesn't bite me at some point in the future.
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