Class of July 2015 Part 4
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: TX
Posts: 239
I am sorry that you had to go through all of that CNGY, but I don't think that it was a coincidence that you were put in that position to help her and really see the other side of this disease and how it affects those around us. It sounds like going home is going to be a better environment for you!
Welcome Mary, Bluebird, Time2Rise, and Christimac!
My heart goes out to all of those who are struggling right now. Please keep coming back and posting. Like everyone else said, we really do care and who are we to judge. We have all been there!
Welcome Mary, Bluebird, Time2Rise, and Christimac!
My heart goes out to all of those who are struggling right now. Please keep coming back and posting. Like everyone else said, we really do care and who are we to judge. We have all been there!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 896
Morning all, hope you're all well. Day 3 for me and feeling ok. Went to two AA meetings yesterday and hope to go again this evening.
Today I will be mainly searching for a job.
Have a great day, I will keep checking in today.
Today I will be mainly searching for a job.
Have a great day, I will keep checking in today.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 57
Good morning everyone. Checking in on day 8 and feeling hopeful.
I'm sorry to read that there are some struggles going on at the moment. Something I've been thinking about recently is 'if not now, then when?' I have been finding this thought useful so I thought I would share.
My health had been increasingly affected by my drinking over recent months/years and I think I accepted that I would have to stop drinking at some point or I would die prematurely as a result. This sounds pretty logical doesn't it but it's taken a long time to sink in. Before this I think I was in the 'just stop for a while until things get better' camp.
So, on the (if not now, then when?) basis that I would have to stop at some point , the remaining question had been if I don't stop now, when will I? My AV is a seasoned procrastinator and always responded that tomorrow, or on Monday, or when I'm on leave from work, would be the best time but the time was never now. At some point, there had to be a 'now' and it was never going to be welcome. But if not now, then when?
For those Julyers who are struggling, July can still be your now.
I'm sorry to read that there are some struggles going on at the moment. Something I've been thinking about recently is 'if not now, then when?' I have been finding this thought useful so I thought I would share.
My health had been increasingly affected by my drinking over recent months/years and I think I accepted that I would have to stop drinking at some point or I would die prematurely as a result. This sounds pretty logical doesn't it but it's taken a long time to sink in. Before this I think I was in the 'just stop for a while until things get better' camp.
So, on the (if not now, then when?) basis that I would have to stop at some point , the remaining question had been if I don't stop now, when will I? My AV is a seasoned procrastinator and always responded that tomorrow, or on Monday, or when I'm on leave from work, would be the best time but the time was never now. At some point, there had to be a 'now' and it was never going to be welcome. But if not now, then when?
For those Julyers who are struggling, July can still be your now.
Rehydrating to Oblivion.
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 1,332
Welcome Rio.
It seems some of us are struggling, but by posting about it we are doing the exact thing the AV DOES NOT want us to do. Hang on in there.
I get daily messages sent to my phone from a sobriety app and I think today's is quite poignant for those of us having a harder time than others.
A person takes the drink, the drink takes a drink, the drink takes the person
If you pick up a drink or drug, it starts a perilous, physiological and psychological chain reaction. Since your body has already become habituated to your drug of choice, any drug ingestion triggers your craving for the feeling that your drug of choice gave you. This ironically causes craving for more rather than relief. Finally, trouble occurs due to intoxication.
Don't pick up the first drug no matter what. Post, post, post, call a friend, exercise. Do anything to get your mind away from the craving.
B
It seems some of us are struggling, but by posting about it we are doing the exact thing the AV DOES NOT want us to do. Hang on in there.
I get daily messages sent to my phone from a sobriety app and I think today's is quite poignant for those of us having a harder time than others.
A person takes the drink, the drink takes a drink, the drink takes the person
If you pick up a drink or drug, it starts a perilous, physiological and psychological chain reaction. Since your body has already become habituated to your drug of choice, any drug ingestion triggers your craving for the feeling that your drug of choice gave you. This ironically causes craving for more rather than relief. Finally, trouble occurs due to intoxication.
Don't pick up the first drug no matter what. Post, post, post, call a friend, exercise. Do anything to get your mind away from the craving.
B
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,429
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Auckland
Posts: 2,548
If not now, then when? Thanks Bluebird :-) I'm nearly 50 so I had better make it now. Seriously though, I've spent a lot of time over the last 15 years getting drunk. I don't want to waste any more of it (my own, and the time of the people I love).
That's spooky you just posted that quote BBB....I just mentioned the very same to my partner yesterday because he's reading The Great Gatsby and, as you probably know, F. Scott Fitzgerald said it. Apparently, he and Ernest Hemingway used to hit the booze together quite hard and frequently.
I thought about wine on the way home from work tonight. Not getting it, just about it, which was scary enough. It's made quite a radical difference for me this conceptualisation of the 'AV' that everyone is talking about. It used to feel like there were two of me warring with one another. With this concept I can gain perspective and see there is just one essential me, and a very stealthy, determined and dangerous AV which I am nonetheless capable of ignoring.
May the force be with you, Julyers !
That's spooky you just posted that quote BBB....I just mentioned the very same to my partner yesterday because he's reading The Great Gatsby and, as you probably know, F. Scott Fitzgerald said it. Apparently, he and Ernest Hemingway used to hit the booze together quite hard and frequently.
I thought about wine on the way home from work tonight. Not getting it, just about it, which was scary enough. It's made quite a radical difference for me this conceptualisation of the 'AV' that everyone is talking about. It used to feel like there were two of me warring with one another. With this concept I can gain perspective and see there is just one essential me, and a very stealthy, determined and dangerous AV which I am nonetheless capable of ignoring.
May the force be with you, Julyers !
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 2,049
Ugh.
6am and I'm parked on side if the road. My wife tossed and turned really bad since 1am, so I didn't sleep. Two jobs and kids and stress keeps me so jacked up. Rest is seldom. Day 1s are every week .
I've read from some posts that taking care of yourself is important, and drinking is obviously NOT doing that. I can't make meetings, nor counselling sessions, with stuff stuff stuff going on. I'm literally exhausted from struggling day to day. I guess I feel guilty if I don't just go go go, but I'm just realizing this is fueling depression and drinking. I'm calling into work and going back home after the wife and kids go for the morning. Gonna run a hot bath and goto bed.
I've got to do something different. I don't want to die from alcoholism, and I know if I keep up the exercise and stay sober I'll feel better.
How weird. I'm scared to take a break. I've not been out of work in 3 months, for anything. I'm just crosseyed tired, and days like this is when I'll "pour a drink to loosen up". Can't do it. May post all day.
Tired
6am and I'm parked on side if the road. My wife tossed and turned really bad since 1am, so I didn't sleep. Two jobs and kids and stress keeps me so jacked up. Rest is seldom. Day 1s are every week .
I've read from some posts that taking care of yourself is important, and drinking is obviously NOT doing that. I can't make meetings, nor counselling sessions, with stuff stuff stuff going on. I'm literally exhausted from struggling day to day. I guess I feel guilty if I don't just go go go, but I'm just realizing this is fueling depression and drinking. I'm calling into work and going back home after the wife and kids go for the morning. Gonna run a hot bath and goto bed.
I've got to do something different. I don't want to die from alcoholism, and I know if I keep up the exercise and stay sober I'll feel better.
How weird. I'm scared to take a break. I've not been out of work in 3 months, for anything. I'm just crosseyed tired, and days like this is when I'll "pour a drink to loosen up". Can't do it. May post all day.
Tired
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Liverpool, UK
Posts: 267
Well, I'm back again. My holiday turned out as badly as I imagined. Taking time off so early into my recovery just left me to open to my own stupid AV. I'm at day 2 now, and the sluggishness of the past ten days or so is starting to loosen its grip. I hate that every time I come back here its with feelings of guilt and remorse rather than happiness or pride. I'm looking to work to a recovery plan from now on, and trying to be the best I can be.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Good morning all. Day 7 here and feeling good. Getting through those cravings is tough, but waking up the next day and "remembering" that you have nothing to feel guilty or ashamed of, that you are still on the right path, and the effects of alcohol are not looming in you body, ready to make you suffer all day makes it all totally worth it.
I have a 1/2 day training class for work this morning and then a bunch of errands to take care of (oil change, etc..).
I love both quotes...If not now, when? and the Great Gatsby quote. So true.
I haven't feel this goodin a while. I have a sense of calm, of inner peace - not all the time, but often enough - that I haven't felt in months and month. Even when I think stressful or sad thoughts, I feel like I can manage them, work through them.
Hope everyone has a great sober day
I have a 1/2 day training class for work this morning and then a bunch of errands to take care of (oil change, etc..).
I love both quotes...If not now, when? and the Great Gatsby quote. So true.
I haven't feel this goodin a while. I have a sense of calm, of inner peace - not all the time, but often enough - that I haven't felt in months and month. Even when I think stressful or sad thoughts, I feel like I can manage them, work through them.
Hope everyone has a great sober day
SD 7/3/15 SRJD 7/14/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: The Jersey Shore
Posts: 316
Welcome to all the overnight (to me) newcomers to the July 2015 class.
We are all struggling to defeat this common enemy we have inside ourselves, so best of luck whichever way you choose to proceed to attack it.
Stay with us, you most desperate posters and use the forums here on SR, we are always checking in here to see how you are doing during our waking hours. You have a worldwide support group right here on SR, so PLEASE take advantage of it.
I've moved into my day 26 (I always have to go back and count) today with my resolve as strong as ever. I do plan on discontinuing the day counting after the one month mark and just concentrating on life itself, maybe marking the months here just to force myself to stay connected here. My social networking "addiction" is strong though so I'm sure I will be a daily contributor here on SR as well.
Rock your sobriety today, like only YOU can!
We are all struggling to defeat this common enemy we have inside ourselves, so best of luck whichever way you choose to proceed to attack it.
Stay with us, you most desperate posters and use the forums here on SR, we are always checking in here to see how you are doing during our waking hours. You have a worldwide support group right here on SR, so PLEASE take advantage of it.
I've moved into my day 26 (I always have to go back and count) today with my resolve as strong as ever. I do plan on discontinuing the day counting after the one month mark and just concentrating on life itself, maybe marking the months here just to force myself to stay connected here. My social networking "addiction" is strong though so I'm sure I will be a daily contributor here on SR as well.
Rock your sobriety today, like only YOU can!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,308
Way to go frank. fABL and turtle, and others struggling, keep up here with us. You can do this.
Day 6 today. I'm feeling cautious but am still committed to sobriety. After I ordered a water at a restaurant last night, a friend of mine said "they have Bells...." (My old favorite.) I said, no thanks I'm good, and the moment passed. I wasn't really tempted, but it was a bit of a tough moment knowing how this person isn't used to me abstaining. I got through that test fine, but I can't help but worry in the future that there will be more trying tests. Gotta keep remembering it is one day, one moment at a time!
I started marking sober days on a calendar. This has helped me in the past to visualize the string of sober days so that I can see them all lined up. I recommend this for anyone struggling to get past a few days, just looking at your progress on the wall is helpful to see when you think one more day/night of drinking is not a big deal.
Going into the office today for the first time since my biz trip and a couple days vacation. Feeling a bit reticent about seeing the 2 coworkers I traveled with last week. I asked them both to keep mum about my drunken night, but not sure I can trust them to or not. So I am preparing to hear some good natured teasing and if I do, I'll shrug it off and focus on the future. It's not going to bring me down. And with more time my drunken antics will be a distant memory..... Keep fighting everyone, it's worth it. I feel 1000 times better than last Tuesday morning and I know it will keep getting better.
Day 6 today. I'm feeling cautious but am still committed to sobriety. After I ordered a water at a restaurant last night, a friend of mine said "they have Bells...." (My old favorite.) I said, no thanks I'm good, and the moment passed. I wasn't really tempted, but it was a bit of a tough moment knowing how this person isn't used to me abstaining. I got through that test fine, but I can't help but worry in the future that there will be more trying tests. Gotta keep remembering it is one day, one moment at a time!
I started marking sober days on a calendar. This has helped me in the past to visualize the string of sober days so that I can see them all lined up. I recommend this for anyone struggling to get past a few days, just looking at your progress on the wall is helpful to see when you think one more day/night of drinking is not a big deal.
Going into the office today for the first time since my biz trip and a couple days vacation. Feeling a bit reticent about seeing the 2 coworkers I traveled with last week. I asked them both to keep mum about my drunken night, but not sure I can trust them to or not. So I am preparing to hear some good natured teasing and if I do, I'll shrug it off and focus on the future. It's not going to bring me down. And with more time my drunken antics will be a distant memory..... Keep fighting everyone, it's worth it. I feel 1000 times better than last Tuesday morning and I know it will keep getting better.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 3,313
Hi everyone,
I've been reading all your posts and can empathize with so many of you. On Day 3, again. I've drank 4 times this month, but it could have been much worse without this site and you all. Tired of feeling sorry for myself so going to jump back in here.
Sending everyone strength today. This fight is so hard, but I know it is worth it. We are all worth it!!
I've been reading all your posts and can empathize with so many of you. On Day 3, again. I've drank 4 times this month, but it could have been much worse without this site and you all. Tired of feeling sorry for myself so going to jump back in here.
Sending everyone strength today. This fight is so hard, but I know it is worth it. We are all worth it!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Missouri
Posts: 515
JL and Frank (and anyone else ). Ever get sleep meds from your doctor? Anxiety meds? Depression meds?
A friend of mine (doesn't drink at all -chain cig smoker) recently got on Xanax and Zoloft. He was an anxiety attack waiting to happen! Said he has never felt better. People are commenting to him about his positive change. Boy did he need to change!
There's lots of meds out there. Just a thought.
Have a great day.
A friend of mine (doesn't drink at all -chain cig smoker) recently got on Xanax and Zoloft. He was an anxiety attack waiting to happen! Said he has never felt better. People are commenting to him about his positive change. Boy did he need to change!
There's lots of meds out there. Just a thought.
Have a great day.
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