rah555

I also followed in pinks steps..let myself have a yummy pumpkin donut tonight

sthlondonab

Hey all

Hoping everyone is good.

I am loving this trip. I crossed the border into Bosnia and I am in a little town called Mostar. It's beautiful. A little rough round the edges and not an EU country so more of a travel and language challenge. Which makes it fun. The food here is amazing! So fresh and tasty and around 1/3 of UK prices.

Pink - not long until your trip! I was ready for one, I can tell from the napping I have been doing.

1 step - I think Wales will do it now, fingers crossed! I always keep an eye out for them. It would be so great if they qualify and NI too.

Scooter I love the end of summer too! Sounds like you have had a wonderful one this year.

Yum yum, this talk of pumpkin spice ! I know what I am having as soon as I get home lol

Have a great day all!

determined99

Happy hump day guys! Great to see everyone! Awesome work 1step and rah! Gotta run quick, but high five there Choobie, scooter, ultra, pink, London and grateful!

"If you wants something you never had, you must do something you have never done." Kimnesha Benns

Choobie

Great to hear that you are doing well, 1step! Glad you got a new sponsor and it's working out well.

Excellent choice, Rah! Coffee is my favorite go to. Now you'll be fresh and ready for the day today!

Hope you are feeling better determined!

Pink, your vacation sounds like it will be wonderful! Both exciting and interesting! I think the tubes sound really neat.

London, mmmmmm.....vacation food! I'll bet it's amazing!

Hi Grateful!

I agree, Ultra, we are blessed to have found each other!

Still working through the family school and work schedules and activities. Hoping to hit some sort of balance, but if I'm not doing the important stuff, what am I really doing?

See y'all later!

pinklinzangel

Home early with my laptop as the plumber is here to fix our bathroom. Loo constantly flushes and taps don't work. Joys of a newly bought house eh? They don't tell you what's wrong with it do they!

Feel twitchy today, and I know why. In our little village the post office W's going to close down, as many have Cross the country. The village clubbed together to pay rent to the pub, and the pub agreed to the on the post office in their back room. I had card delivered stating I had missed a parcel delivery, so off I trundle to the post office, inside the pub. It's hot. It's sunny. The beer garden is in full swing. I'm queuing for ages. I'm thirsty. I clock the wine fridge behind the counter. Cue 10 minutes of full volume soprano serenading from this wine fridge. FFS! Deep breathing, thought of you guys, got cross at feeling tempted Aftr all this time. Picked up my parcel and came home, and brewed a large gingerbread Americano. Made a brew for the plumber and offered my assistance, which he has De lined. So here I am, coming to you guys! Grrrrrrrrr I hate the av!

anyway!

How are we all doing on this lovely sunny day? What's the weather like across the pond guys?

Oh, I need a quick rant the only you will understand. One of my Facebook friends , the someone I went to school with, had a fling with as a teenager, haven't seen in years type of Facebook friend, has been posting cryptic messages. Now I don't bite on these usually, as it irritates the hell out of me. However, he has been posting things about counting down to his last drink, can't wait for this wonderful opportunity, birthday present come early, I'm so lucky, can't wait to kick this addiction. I posted a comment, saying, this is all very cryptic, but I wish you all the best in this venture, you are strong, and can do whatever you put your mind to. He was grateful for this response, and explained that he is alcohol dependent and has been waiting to go in hospital for detox for the last year, and got the phone call this week sing he will be going in today. Now I'm torn with this, as surely if you want it, you have go yourself like we did, but obviously reply hoping this works as being dependant as we know is torture. After being thought, I decided he doesn't think he N do this on his own, needs support, and this is probably a sensible option.

Then, last night, he's posting pictures of beer cans, saying, so hello to my last ever drink, last one EVER. Surely if you are drinking up to the last minute, your heart is not in it, and he is expecting some kind of miracle instant cure? He will now be in hospital, and I don't know if he will be on the Internet, but I very much h wish him well, I'm just worried it's not the right approach. Everyone has to start somewhere, and at least it's a start I guess. I don't know whether to mention Sr to him. He doesn't know about me and my problems, and I don't want him to, but I want him to have the support I have had from you guys, and he would get that from his own September team.

Thoughts?

Love you!

sthlondonab

Pink, just a quick response. He knows you are a nurse right? If you don't feel comfortable saying you use SR then say you know if it through work? I guess that would mean maybe having to take your lovely photo down though? Whatever works for you.

Personally I wouldn't risk identifying with someone so early in recovery (especially if there's a risk of things not working which sounds strange based on his last drink posts - I wish him the best by the way) Last thing you need is an acquaintance spreading around that you have fought addiction issues if he does pick up again etc. I am speaking from experience as I was a huge gossip when I had a drink and had to undo a lot of damage. Just my tuppence worth. It's a fine line between unconditional support and holding back a little to protect your own recovery.

Oh and my fellow traveller you must add Bosnia to your list if you haven't been. Unspoilt by tourism and the march of the EU !

pinklinzangel

London you have really helped me. What a good ide! He does know I'm a psych nurse, so I can definitely so I know about it through work. I think this would be good for him. I don't want to identify with him, as not everyone knows. I don't regret putting my pic up, I know that you now all know who I am, and he'll, you guys might even be working in the same building as me and I wouldn't know, but I know if I had done this anonymously, I would be able to hide more easily, and I really need to not fail at this, so you guys knowing who I am, this ok. I'm not ashamed anymore. That said, you are right, and I don't need everyone knowing on the grapevine! I know I can trust you all, because if you tell anyone, they will then know about about you guys too. I don't know the I can trust him.

Thank you so much xxx

Bosnia sounds fab, I'm just reading up on montenegro! Xx

determined99

Thanks Choobie! I am on the mend, back at the gym but being careful. Well done on staying busy, focused and on the path by the way!

Well played with the time at the bar pink! Playing the tape in your head all the way to the end helps. But, dang is it tough sometimes! I still get the, oh it's not forever, you can moderate again some day thoughts too. Yeah, like that brilliant plan has worked before... I agree with London about your old friend. Help others, but protect your privacy as well. A win win.

Bedfordshire kids, goodnight.

pinklinzangel

Thanks Determind, that is my exact plan. Help, but stay in the shadows! Glad you're well my man xxx

Ultramarathoner

Good advice From others Pink.

I'd only add to support without a great deal of emotional involvement (which seems to be the path you are going to take). Whether he succeeds or not should not have any impact on your journey.

I probably traded 20 messages or do with someone who reached out to me on the board. We had eerily similar backstories, passions, and reasons to become alcohol free. At the end of the day however, my perspective was not enough to overcome what I considered his "fear of success". He couldn't envision life alcohol free.

He started off strong and motivated setting a 30 day goal. On day two he wrote about how great it was to put his kids to bed sober and how they deserved more from him. Day three he decided he would (again) try to moderate.

While disappointing, I had approached the situation recognizing that we are all on our own journey so I didn't take any of this personally.

Anyway, seems like you are taking the right path.

rah555

Hey team!! Still going strong!!

pinklinzangel

Thanks ultra, , really appreciate the advice xx

sthlondonab

Hey guys

Just checking in whilst I have a bit of wifi. I have loved Bosnia, tomorrow heading back into Croatia. Pink - I need to get to Albania to fly home in a weeks time so I will stop in Motenegro next week en route , it looks fab.

All is good on this trip. No AV and just enjoying being in each moment. I just need a lotto win to travel the world permanently, lol!!

Keep pumping the sober muscles everyone!!

Grateful11

Hey TeamA! Another long work day and late night. Still enjoying life sober. Was at a meeting where some people were drinking today and it was very different. I just worry that it will stir up my AV if I don't get some rest.

I'm going to Bedfordshire.

determined99

Happy Friday!!

Your trip sounds fabulous London! I was in Dubrovnik once and remember a fort by the sea with kind of a walled city. Been a while though, I remember it being breath taking! You are a true inspiration for your travels and positive attitude my man!

Grateful, I hear you on the waking up the av. I know we say it all the time, playing the tape helps. Another thing is to actually remember what it is like to drink. That foggy, mildly depressing feeling you have after the event when your heading home. I did that mental exercise the other day and realized I don't truly want that feeling. It is more of the perceived nostalgia sometimes I think. The thinking about it and thinking you are going to have fun, but every time it was a let down if we are honest. Well done my friend.

Incidentally, the av has appeared unexpectedly to me this past week. The forever thing seems to be its pitch, I.e., do you really think you will never have a beer again the rest of your life? I have been a little less prepared for that than I thought. Working through it though with clear rational thought. I think it is because we have a lot of sober time now and forget the bad things. Memory paints the past with gold sometimes. Filters the rocks out. Dig up some actual memories of drinking and you quickly change back to reality. Glad to be on this path.

Drinking holds us back, physically, spiritually, emotionally, financially. It is a way to hide and to lie to ourselves. A mirage. Meditate on that once in a while so you have it handy when you are caught off guard. Let's keep going forward and be all we can be. No more fear of success. Let's help others find the courage to leave the darkness behind. Today's quote is a good one.

"Life expands or contracts in direct proportion to ones courage." Anahi's Nin

Love.

Ultramarathoner

Good thoughts Detremined.

I really don't remember what it's like to drink. I've probably buried it deep in my subconscious since I don't like thinking about the "drinking" me. Nice job intellectually putting your thoghts in perspective.

Let's keep strong!

ScooterBoo

Determined, I know that "forever" feeling. It comes to me when I see commercials on tv where everyone is having a wonderful time drinking. But, as you said, we know that does not work for us.

Rah, I think you were smart to go out for coffee.....the bars are just too tempting.



I went to the Red Sox game on Wednesday night and the Patriots game last night - now I am exhausted. At both games I was shocked at the number of drinks some people had....the drinks probably cost more than the tickets.

Pink, I would be careful with your FB friend. You might want to wait a bit to see how he is after he gets out. It doesn't sound like he was very serious, but that might have been false bravery.

I am bringing my first "transportee" to the eye doctor this afternoon. It is a woman who will not be able to drive home after her exam. I am lookinig forward to it.

Greetings to everyone else.

Let's keep on keeping on.

sthlondonab

Hey guys

Hope everyone is well. I am back in Croatia in Dubrovnik, the place you remember Determined! I am staying a few I'm from the walled city so hoping to check it out tomorrow. Good thoughts on "forever" mate. I do get that from time to time. I always play that tape and I still have my withdrawal diary.

So last nights dinner a "free" port was put in front of me at the end of the meal. That was tough. Honest I don't notice other people's drinks or get envious any more but the AV was telling me that this one was mine. The smell was tough. Actually even sitting with my partner the thought came to gulp it down in one even though you're sitting in front of him, let's see what he says. What?!! Bill paid, out of there. Phew. Just shows I need to keep my guard up. I had totally forgotten about those house drinks on vacation, used to look forward to them as a bonus alcohol shot.

Scooter how was your driving? I think it's a great thing you are doing the voluntary work.

Have a great day all. I am going for a run by the sea this morning to keep the holiday lbs off!

pinklinzangel

London I totally get the feeling you had at the tabLe. I'm real proud of how you handles that. Sometimes my subconscious pops up when the waiter comes to take a drinks order and says 'order one, see what LJ says' like a little devil inside me. Where it comes from, I have no idea, because it isn't me consciously thinking it. Weird. Enjoy the rest e of your holiday! Sounds wonderful!

I go on holiday this Friday, hurrah. Other half went to this place with his family when a teenager, and had his first alcoholic drink, a cocktail, a blue lagoon, in a bar overlooking the sea. He has good memories of this, and has asked if I would mind us going to the same place and him having a blue lagoon. He hasn't drank in front of me since I gave up, In fact I don't think he has had a drink at all, but I won't ask, and why shouldn't he? He hasn't got a problem! It's sweet that he has asked, and really it's not a problem, I can totally deal with that, it's just that ever since he mentioned it, I keep having fleeting scenarios in my head of how this will pan out. In 90% of them, I order a soft drink and it is fine. The other ten percent are combinations of me stealing a zip of it when he goes to the loo, knocking it over in a jealous rage, downing it in one in front of him,. Bizarre irrational thoughts! It will be great if they have a mocktail list too, of course I'm not going to deny him!

Determind, great forever perspective, you continue to inspire me daily

Scooter thanks for the advice. My friend is now in isolation in hospital detoxing and is likely to be there for 6 weeks, so I will deal with this later on. I too get the feeling he is not serious but of course wish him well, and will be there as a friend, but not as an alcoholic friend, that's to be kept to myself.

Today i am laid up with sinusitis. It hurts so much in my nose, cheeks and eyes. I'm drugged up which is helping. Other half has gone canoeing. I'm about to have a hot shower, put on fresh pj's, and am spending a day on the sofa watching documentaries. I also have found a box of jaffa cakes which may help too!

determined99

London, well played dude. That's how my relapses have started in the past, a split second. Thinking I wanted to put the party hat on again. I remember the last one, sat down at an outdoor pub table for lunch, ordered a beer just like that. Then blacked out a few hours later... Woo freakin hoo! Keep going man. The views of the ocean where you are are spectacular, take some good pics, I have a few great ones from the fort walls.

Pink, I get the pre thinking battle too my friend. You can also pre plan for a positive outcome. Plus, let us Ghost save you! A blue lagoon may be fun for him but it will certainly turn your mood blue. Stay pink! We like that color on you!

Night kids!

Love.