Class of August 2013 - Part 15
Hi FG! It's very nice to hear from you. Sounds like some aspects of your life are improving, some are still the same (the job). I loved the link u sent. Great song. My girl is always reminding me to just be happy, lol. Sometimes it happens.
Wishing you the best.
Wishing you the best.
long time
Hey all!
I realize I've become one of those originals that is never around anymore. The truth is I rarely think about sobriety anymore. Not that it isn't still a struggle but it has become my normal.
AV still pops up here and there but it is no longer something that blindsides me, instead it is a welcome reminder of how far I've come. As strong as the urge can be sometimes it is nothing in comparison to the urge I have to never, ever be that person/wife/mama/sister/daughter/friend again.
My 2 year sober-versary was yesterday and, while I knew it was coming, I didn't remember until right now that it had come.
731 days.
I remember how 100 seemed impossible.
While I may not post often I still read along. My thoughts are with each and every one of you while reach our milestones.
May all be well in your lives,
Andrea
I realize I've become one of those originals that is never around anymore. The truth is I rarely think about sobriety anymore. Not that it isn't still a struggle but it has become my normal.
AV still pops up here and there but it is no longer something that blindsides me, instead it is a welcome reminder of how far I've come. As strong as the urge can be sometimes it is nothing in comparison to the urge I have to never, ever be that person/wife/mama/sister/daughter/friend again.
My 2 year sober-versary was yesterday and, while I knew it was coming, I didn't remember until right now that it had come.
731 days.
I remember how 100 seemed impossible.
While I may not post often I still read along. My thoughts are with each and every one of you while reach our milestones.
May all be well in your lives,
Andrea
Hi friends, it's been a while since I've been around, I know. I am not doing well and the summer rush of visitors and family weddings and responsibilities have been weighing heavily upon me. Frankly, I can barely get out of bed. But I do.
As most of you know, I was on a cocktail of drugs prescribed to me by the psychiatrist. One of which (Abilify) was giving symptoms of Parkinson's disease. I stopped that drug and the shakes and tremors have ceased. But I have become very depressed again. No use telling you all the details but I am not good. They increased the dose of the SSRI and I developed serotonin syndrome. I can't tell you how awful this was. There just are no words. So they took me off all drugs. There are no words for the depression I have fallen into either. I don't know what I am going to do. I don't know how much longer I can tolerate this. I realize now that much of my alcohol and drug abuse was my way of treating my own depressive tendencies. I ran as fast as I could to get away from depression but now there are no shields. My strength is failing. I am afraid. It's very hard to detox from prescribed psych drugs. There is no help for it. Here I am again, skinny as a rail and detoxing from drugs. At least I don't have to keep secrets any more. I have no strength for it anyway. I told my whole family what was wrong. They don't understand.
Yesterday I saw the psychiatrist. He started me back on some low doses of some different drugs. I was afraid he'd put me in the hospital but I won't go unless it's the very last resort.
As most of you know, I was on a cocktail of drugs prescribed to me by the psychiatrist. One of which (Abilify) was giving symptoms of Parkinson's disease. I stopped that drug and the shakes and tremors have ceased. But I have become very depressed again. No use telling you all the details but I am not good. They increased the dose of the SSRI and I developed serotonin syndrome. I can't tell you how awful this was. There just are no words. So they took me off all drugs. There are no words for the depression I have fallen into either. I don't know what I am going to do. I don't know how much longer I can tolerate this. I realize now that much of my alcohol and drug abuse was my way of treating my own depressive tendencies. I ran as fast as I could to get away from depression but now there are no shields. My strength is failing. I am afraid. It's very hard to detox from prescribed psych drugs. There is no help for it. Here I am again, skinny as a rail and detoxing from drugs. At least I don't have to keep secrets any more. I have no strength for it anyway. I told my whole family what was wrong. They don't understand.
Yesterday I saw the psychiatrist. He started me back on some low doses of some different drugs. I was afraid he'd put me in the hospital but I won't go unless it's the very last resort.
Elseware, finding the right medication is a frustrating process of trial and error. Please know I am thinking of you and wishing you peace.
Sheknits, congratulations on two years and thanks for posting, I found it helpful to read your AV still kicks in now and then.
Sheknits, congratulations on two years and thanks for posting, I found it helpful to read your AV still kicks in now and then.
Hello, all --
Andrea, it's so good to hear from you. Congratulations on your two years! I'm happy for you. Like Orn, I'm also glad to know that it's not unusual for the 'ol AV to rattle the cage from time to time. But he's a pretty tiny little devil now that sobriety is the new norm. It's good to know you've been following along, too. I think of you fondly and look forward to updates when you can.
Else, I wish I could fix things for you. One question: Would it be so bad to go inpatient? You mentioned it as the "very last resort" but why wait until you have to feel worse than you do now? I'm guessing you and Doc have good insurance and that a nice, private hospital where people can take care of you would be doable. I am convinced healing is within your reach with a little help. We're here for you no matter what.
Tomorrow is the biggie for me ... I'm working on a post.
All my best to you dear people.
Andrea, it's so good to hear from you. Congratulations on your two years! I'm happy for you. Like Orn, I'm also glad to know that it's not unusual for the 'ol AV to rattle the cage from time to time. But he's a pretty tiny little devil now that sobriety is the new norm. It's good to know you've been following along, too. I think of you fondly and look forward to updates when you can.
Else, I wish I could fix things for you. One question: Would it be so bad to go inpatient? You mentioned it as the "very last resort" but why wait until you have to feel worse than you do now? I'm guessing you and Doc have good insurance and that a nice, private hospital where people can take care of you would be doable. I am convinced healing is within your reach with a little help. We're here for you no matter what.
Tomorrow is the biggie for me ... I'm working on a post.
All my best to you dear people.
Hi, all --
Previously, I wrote that the big day is today. Actually, it's tomorrow. But I wanted to post this evening as I'll be mostly out for the weekend.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...two-years.html
When I logged on, I noticed a familiar name in the "online now" section.
JD, if you're reading this, you are missed. I hope you're well. Knowing that you and Robby Robot were good buds here on SR, I was trying to figure out if there was a way to contact you. As you may know, he passed away earlier today after a brief battle with cancer.
V.
Previously, I wrote that the big day is today. Actually, it's tomorrow. But I wanted to post this evening as I'll be mostly out for the weekend.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...two-years.html
When I logged on, I noticed a familiar name in the "online now" section.
JD, if you're reading this, you are missed. I hope you're well. Knowing that you and Robby Robot were good buds here on SR, I was trying to figure out if there was a way to contact you. As you may know, he passed away earlier today after a brief battle with cancer.
V.
Congratulations on two years V..!! You done great, haha!
Thanks for all your support and wise words these past two years. I can't believe how fast it's gone by.. and more to come!
Cheers,
--Adv
Thanks for all your support and wise words these past two years. I can't believe how fast it's gone by.. and more to come!
Cheers,
--Adv
Hello Class of August…its been a while.
I will celebrate two years of sobriety the end of this month on August 27th. I have returned to in a way do a 9th step amends to this class I guess. I felt guilty for the way I left abruptly. However, this website had become an addiction or an escape for me. As such, I needed some time away to reflect. At first it was hard, just as any addiction, which meant it was the right choice. I am not sure if I will post regularly or simply from time to time. I am guessing the later. However, this that I offended by leaving, I apologize, particularly to Orn, as we had met in person.
As for my life, I am living a dream. I could never have imagined that in two year I could turn things around in live such a full and rich life. Physically, I have lost over 55lbs, and am in the best shape ever. This has little to do with the alcohol and more to do with food addictions that I have given up. I used the same 12 step framework on these and have not had bread in almost tow years also. Today, I eat very little if any processed sugars, no gluten, as I am allergic, and almost no processed foods. I practice yoga daily and live an active lifestyle between my tennis, kitesurfing, surfing, stand up paddleboarding, cycling, running, and swimming. Although, I don’t spend time in the gym much, as I find being one with nature is quite spiritual for me.
Mentally, I am active in AA’s Fellowship and also attend other 12 step meetings from time to time. I am not religious but have found bits and pieces of my truth in Buddhism. While life is good, I know this too shall pass and I will have difficulties. This past year has come with some doozies. I met, confronted and ended up finding the courage to forgive the man who sexually abused me as a child. While some may disagree with this, for me I found it too easy to be the victim with this as my backstory and needed to let it go. This involved forgiving him. He too is in a 12 step program and seems a tortured soul. I hope that my courage and allowing him to make amends with me has allowed him to make amides with others that he has harmed. For me I can sleep at night knowing I cleared this out of my inventory.
A couple months ago I had to bury a very close friend of mine to this disease. He leaves a wife and three young children behind. His wife is devastated. This was very difficult to go through sober, particular now that I can feel emotions like a normal human.
I did check in from time to time as a guest and am glad the little group has generally hung together. Else, I find letting go the hardest but it has been the most rewarding. For me the shift occurred maybe four or five months ago and I recognized I no longer attended meetings because I had to but because I wanted to. I have crafted a program that I now want more than the life I ever had before. Some say this is the shift from fear based to hope based and I would agree.
Venecia. I became friends with Robby here and in real life. He was a good man and I am sorry to learn of his passing. Anyhow, maybe I will post here more often.
I will celebrate two years of sobriety the end of this month on August 27th. I have returned to in a way do a 9th step amends to this class I guess. I felt guilty for the way I left abruptly. However, this website had become an addiction or an escape for me. As such, I needed some time away to reflect. At first it was hard, just as any addiction, which meant it was the right choice. I am not sure if I will post regularly or simply from time to time. I am guessing the later. However, this that I offended by leaving, I apologize, particularly to Orn, as we had met in person.
As for my life, I am living a dream. I could never have imagined that in two year I could turn things around in live such a full and rich life. Physically, I have lost over 55lbs, and am in the best shape ever. This has little to do with the alcohol and more to do with food addictions that I have given up. I used the same 12 step framework on these and have not had bread in almost tow years also. Today, I eat very little if any processed sugars, no gluten, as I am allergic, and almost no processed foods. I practice yoga daily and live an active lifestyle between my tennis, kitesurfing, surfing, stand up paddleboarding, cycling, running, and swimming. Although, I don’t spend time in the gym much, as I find being one with nature is quite spiritual for me.
Mentally, I am active in AA’s Fellowship and also attend other 12 step meetings from time to time. I am not religious but have found bits and pieces of my truth in Buddhism. While life is good, I know this too shall pass and I will have difficulties. This past year has come with some doozies. I met, confronted and ended up finding the courage to forgive the man who sexually abused me as a child. While some may disagree with this, for me I found it too easy to be the victim with this as my backstory and needed to let it go. This involved forgiving him. He too is in a 12 step program and seems a tortured soul. I hope that my courage and allowing him to make amends with me has allowed him to make amides with others that he has harmed. For me I can sleep at night knowing I cleared this out of my inventory.
A couple months ago I had to bury a very close friend of mine to this disease. He leaves a wife and three young children behind. His wife is devastated. This was very difficult to go through sober, particular now that I can feel emotions like a normal human.
I did check in from time to time as a guest and am glad the little group has generally hung together. Else, I find letting go the hardest but it has been the most rewarding. For me the shift occurred maybe four or five months ago and I recognized I no longer attended meetings because I had to but because I wanted to. I have crafted a program that I now want more than the life I ever had before. Some say this is the shift from fear based to hope based and I would agree.
Venecia. I became friends with Robby here and in real life. He was a good man and I am sorry to learn of his passing. Anyhow, maybe I will post here more often.
It's good to see you, JD, and an early congrats on your two-year anniversary.
Living alone -- which was, I think, quite related to my alcoholism -- it remains a lifeline for me. But I know what you mean about the amount of time spent here. I've been trying to manage that, too.
Just remember, friend, the door's always open and the coffee's always on.
Living alone -- which was, I think, quite related to my alcoholism -- it remains a lifeline for me. But I know what you mean about the amount of time spent here. I've been trying to manage that, too.
Just remember, friend, the door's always open and the coffee's always on.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 728
Hi all! I'm on the low carb bandwagon! Lost 15 lbs and am working on maintaining!
Wow, can you believe two years and we are talking diet not wine!
Lots of company this summer , looking forward to fall!
Like the idea of lighting candles on the 26th!
We lost our 11 yr old Airedale last week, a very sad time for us, he was the most wonderful ,hansome, smart and protecting boy I've ever had!
Wow, can you believe two years and we are talking diet not wine!
Lots of company this summer , looking forward to fall!
Like the idea of lighting candles on the 26th!
We lost our 11 yr old Airedale last week, a very sad time for us, he was the most wonderful ,hansome, smart and protecting boy I've ever had!
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