TroyW

Problem is, that one bottle can easily lead back to every day drinking with higher and higher consumption for weeks or even months. Then where are you? You'll wake up hating yourself, depressed, sick, have to go through withdrawals again, etc.

Dee74

You need to push past that rosy daydream SansaS.

Like they say - play the tape to the end - remember the binges, the secrecy, the hangovers, the fights the embarrassment and the injuries....thats the reality of drinking for us.

Does your husband know you're trying to quit?

D

whiteturtle

I just got back from getting a sub at Jimmy John's and stopping into the store to get Coke and some chips to snack on. Definitely not a healthy Friday night...but vastly healthier than unaddressed alcoholism, surely.

Sansa, I feel you. I am almost wistful lately at the thought of just giving in. I think part of it is the loss of routine I knew. It's been way harder the past few days than in the early days (I am almost done with Day 18.)

Keep posting, too, Sansa. It helps getting my honest feelings out on here, even if I feel weak for them. We are in similar boats, and here for each other.

whiteturtle

Oh, and when I left for the food and the store, I left my ID purposely at home; despite being almost 27, I have been told I have a "baby face." :p It seemed to help just symbolically (the cashiers at all these stores have recognized me for the past two years and not needed ID).

Ladybug2

Made it through some cravings tonight. We ended up going out to dinner, which really helped. Strange how I am usually "safe" in a restaurant, but struggle at home. Guess it's because I did most of my drinking at home. I am finding that it is important, especially in early recovery, to change up your routine/habits. Something as simple as going out to eat versus staying home and getting takeout can make a world of difference. Eating ice cream now and looking forward to a sober nights sleep.

Whiteturtke & Sansa , hope you are doing better now too

whiteturtle

Free2B84

I too have found that changing up my routine has helped. Day 12. Only difference is my drinking is when I'm out. So making sure I go out to eat at restaurants that don't serve alcohol. Didn't even go to the movies tonight because it's next door to a restaurant I like drinking at. Ugh it sux that I have to hermit myself but it won't be forever. I just have to get sum time between me and that last drink.

TroyW

How many here can relate?

sleepie

Hi all.
Patience is pretty thin today. Keep pushing my valium up an hour or two so I take it at night. It is so hot here today, 100 degree heat index. Disgusting.
I never get a pink cloud. ever.

SansaS

Dee, yes my husband knows that I'm attempting to be sober. My husband can buy a 6 pack of beers and have it last the whole weekend. He likes to go out and have a few drinks with friends, out on the boat etc. I think in the 10 years we've been together I've probably seen him black out drunk about 3 times. I wish I could say the same about myself. He can get drunk, but has an off switch. I don't. I think he wishes I could buy one bottle of wine a week and stick to that. We enjoy going out to dinner together and having a couple, and I'm usually great at sticking to just that, but about once every 3 months or so, my brain seems to switch, I freak out and get black out, can't stop drunk.

SansaS

He can't understand the extremes of my personality. The 'all or nothing'. He can't understand why I need to stop drinking altogether instead of just getting a handle on it.

lovehoops

Hi all,

I've been trying to catch up with everyone's posts . Keep posting!! Especially those who are even thinking of drinking. Remember it's not worth it.

I have very strong urges...only on day 2.. I'm very anxious too. My daughter is coming home from business trip tomorrow and she knows I drank on Wednesday. She is not talking to me and I know there will be some heavy "discussing" tomorrow. I hate that I keep doing this!!!!

I hope I can sleep tonight. That is killing me as well..
Have a good evening everyone. If I'm up at all during the night, I'm sure I'll be on SR!!!
Thanks for letting me vent

daisy1

Hi guys sorry not posted in a few days. Don't worry I haven't started drinking again I've been so busy and fallen asleep really quickly each night. I have joined a walking group, done some beautiful walks around the coast. We stop off in pubs and I feel so proud to order lemonades, makes me feel like the normal person I've craved being for so long. Hope you are all ok xxx

BobBFree33

Made it through my little air conditioning drama where I imagined having to replace the whole AC unit. Thankfully only $193 bucks to replace a capacitor. Funny how I was so on guard to beat down the tiniest attempt by the AV to rationalize the stress of this into a reason to drink. I was never tempted. Tonight I did it by focusing on what had to be done. I was able to shut down the internal dialogue. I'm learning not to argue with my AV, because I believe its smarter than me and will win any debate. So I don't debate. I click the off switch. I try to change my pattern. Day 14 done and time for bed in my house that is finally cooling down!

Dee74

OK thats for expanding on that

I think the important thing is that you understand it, SansaS?

stay with us love hoops, Troy and everyone trying, or trying again to get through the first few days


you can do this

D

KaleGrrl

Checking in. Super busy day today. Wishing all a good, sober weekend!

sourgrapes

whiteturtle, that picture made me smile! Might put it on the background of my phone. I used to eat JJ's about every other day in college, sadly the closest one is about an hour away.

TroyW, I especially related to the "all or nothing mentality" part. Never really considered it, but I'm that way about most things, whatever I'm into at a given time. Too bad one of those is/was alcohol.

Another evening at the coffee shop... why oh why would they discontinue chamomile tea? That and kava are my favorite substitutes on sober evenings. I'm trying the mint. My GF and I started watching Twin Peaks last night. Last time I was sobering, we started going to movies which we otherwise rarely do, and had a "show" that we were marathoning. This feels like a good familiar routine right now.

Ending day 3, depression higher and anxiety lower today, which if it has to be one or the other is the balance I'd prefer. Hope everyone has/had a great Friday

sleepie

So now I'm totally bummed out. I have lost another 5 pounds, am not overweight, went for a walk and got a large iced coffee with a flavor shot.
Blood sugars skyrocketed.
Great. YES I am seeing the doctor, again for about the tenth time this year. For another blood sugar test, which I don't expect to be good even if I don't drink.
Meanwhile, my boyfriend who drank for years, binged, had a physical and even though he is obese is told he has excellent cholesterol. And he never exercised, EVER until we met and all he does is take a walk every so often. And eat whatever he wants.
Story of my life.

JamesAdams

Haha, sounds like you are describing my wife and I, but in reverse. She has the off switch, is happy to have one drink when we go out to a restaurant and then switch to something non-alcoholic. I on the other hand have an 'on switch' and once I have a drink, it is on like Donkey Kong!

I have recently come to realise I only seem to have two modes. Completely obsessed with something, or completely uninterested in it.

Which works for us (me) when we are obsessed with sobriety, but as soon as that sobriety switch flips to 'completely uninterested' mode, all hell breaks loose.

TroyW

Hang in there lovehoops, it only gets better.

Congrats on day 3 sourgrapes, and nice that you and your GF already have a sober routine to settle back into.

BobBFree, glad you got the A/C fixed, and are enjoying a nice cool bedroom. That's one thing I noticed about this detox. Generally, I crank the A/C in my bedroom down to +18C so it's basically a walk-in fridge. This time, coldest I could handle was +24C for some reason.

Everyone else, doing great, and keep it up. All is well here, but I'm only on day 2, so to be expected. Later on is when I'll be getting tripped up, but I have plans in place to change my life as necessary to handle that.