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One Year and Under Club Part 47

Old 07-23-2015, 08:39 PM
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Welcome to the Undies, Leb!

Glad to see everyone tonight!!! Checking in sober with 71 days.
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Old 07-23-2015, 08:58 PM
  # 102 (permalink)  
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Hi undies. Just getting caught up on posts.

Glee congrats on 17 months! That's awesome.

Water heater fixed! And got a raise at womp today! And 30 days sober today.

Tired from womp but looking forward to a 3 day weekend I get starting Saturday.
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Old 07-23-2015, 09:53 PM
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Congrats on 30 days, BF! And on the raise too, of course.
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Old 07-23-2015, 11:42 PM
  # 104 (permalink)  
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Hey Leb! Good to have you on board! 6 months is amazing. Congratulations to you!
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Old 07-24-2015, 02:17 AM
  # 105 (permalink)  
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Hello again everyone and thanks for the warm welcome.

Love the way these threads overlap and people take time to check in each other from 'over the wall'.

Casey, glad you are back and feeling better, mate !

Cold mid-winter Cape Town day today. Have a late afternoon meeting with a client in a bar. I know he will drink. But for once, I have absolutely no fear or anxiety of being tempted to join him. This feels very significant.
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Old 07-24-2015, 09:10 AM
  # 106 (permalink)  
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Good luck with your meeting, Fradley. Though I also know you won't drink, hope you'll check in afterwards just because. Build up those accountability muscles!
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Old 07-24-2015, 11:22 AM
  # 107 (permalink)  
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Welcome leb!

Moving through day 22 for me, things are going well.

Stay focused and enjoy the weekend, you've earned it!

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Old 07-24-2015, 12:08 PM
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Hello.

Friday night. Home safe and sound and sober.

Go well everyone.
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Old 07-24-2015, 07:38 PM
  # 109 (permalink)  
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BoozeFree - You are thriving in your sobriety. Congratulations on the raise, the time off from work, the repaired water heater - and most importantly 30 days sober. I'm happy for you. Keep up the good work! Leb - Welcome! Congratulations on 6 months sober. It's nice to hear that you're feeling so much better physically in sobriety. As for isolation, that's a common issue for us alcoholics. Emotional healing takes time. AA and the 12 steps are helping me identify and change the toxic behavior patterns underlying my drinking. You don't have to be a loner anymore. You can find balance.

Fradley - GREAT JOB identifying the trigger today and coming up with a plan to stay sober. I also think it's terrific that you made yourself accountable to us. You're right - this is significant. When I first stopped drinking, I felt like I had to be a good sport around alcohol. I thought that just because I quit didn't mean that others around me had to be sober. Truth be told I found those situations to be uncomfortable. They wore me down. After a while I found the strength to plans events differently so that I wasn't always placing myself in situations where folks were drinking.

Amp - Carlos has often quoted an old timer at one of his meetings who says, "Who's been sober longest in the room? Depends on who woke up earliest today!" I wholeheartedly agree with that, but I will say that I feel more comfortable in my sober skin at 17 months than I did at 3 months. I take better care of myself emotionally. I feel more content and peaceful. I'm grateful for this every single day.

Casey - I hope you're having a wonderful day!

Drake - Always a pleasure to see you. How's life treating you and Olive?

Toadie - Great job on 22 days sober.

Dharma - Grest job on 17 days sober.

I'm beat and a busy weekend awaits. I hope everyone's weekend is safe and sober.
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Old 07-24-2015, 08:01 PM
  # 110 (permalink)  
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Congrats on 30 BF Womp Womp!

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Old 07-24-2015, 08:06 PM
  # 111 (permalink)  
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Congrats on 30 BF
D
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Old 07-24-2015, 08:19 PM
  # 112 (permalink)  
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Hi all. I'm going to be sober for 90 days on Sunday. Having some cravings tonight but I'm not going to drink. That little voice came to me and said "You don't deserve to hit 90 days." Yeah, that voice is not nice. My son is with his grandmother and his dad tonight and I'm in a mood. It will pass. I'm going to find something funny on Netflix or Amazon prime. Sorry to be a downer. This loneliness is just getting to me tonight. I'll drink an ice cold water with peach mango crystal light and maybe go to bed early if I can't find anything to watch. Sleep might make it better anyway. I'm so grateful for SR, and all of you. Goodnight all.
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Old 07-24-2015, 08:23 PM
  # 113 (permalink)  
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you absolutely deserve it angie

D
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Old 07-24-2015, 09:24 PM
  # 114 (permalink)  
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Hang in there, Angie. You absolutely do deserve it. I don't know if it's your kind of thing or not, but I'm enjoying the new season of BoJack Horseman that Netflix just posted.
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Old 07-25-2015, 01:11 AM
  # 115 (permalink)  
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Congrats on 90 days tomorrow Angie! You're doing great. One step at a time.

I've been taken by surprise by AV this weekend. My particular demon has been dormant for quite some time and I was becoming quite relaxed. It's tiring to live life being wary and alert all the time and easy to be lulled into a false sense of security.

Last night at a family get together if it hadn't been for my wife being with me and the accountability I feel to my friends on SR I know I would have drunk. I just want to be like everyone else and crack a cold beer or have that glass of wine when the mood takes me. Of course, I know to my cost that I am NOT like everyone else and that I have a reckless streak in me that is about a mile wide variety nce I rake that first drink. The consequences of my actions at moments like that can jeopardise everything I have struggled to achieve and I need to stay focussed on the big picture. Short term gain, long term loss, play the tape forward, count my blessings, etc... So there I am in the middle of these contemplations and I open the fridge to grab a soft drink and there are all the beer cans lit up like a fun fair.... So I close the door and walk away, realising how close I am. Counting the hours till we can get away and we stay and stay and stay as my wife hardly ever hooks up with her family and we've driven 5 hours to be here over the weekend.

To be honest it felt like an eternity till we left at 1am and all I could think to do was pretend to be asleep. Embarrassing but not as much as if I'd got hammered!

Anyway, I made it but today is round two with another big get together and then friends (yes, drinking friends) will be visiting us at our home all next week.

I need to be on my guard. I am going to stay close to SR and make sure I stick with my morning ritual of reminding myself that my sobriety is my most important possession and also my number one priority today.

Thanks for being here SR. Take care all!
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Old 07-25-2015, 03:10 AM
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BF, huge congratulations on 30 days--and your nice raise! Not to mention th return of hot water!

Congratulations on 90 to you, Ang!
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Old 07-25-2015, 04:28 AM
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And welcome, Leb!
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Old 07-25-2015, 04:49 AM
  # 118 (permalink)  
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Some great milestones posted here recently, congratulations to Angie, BF & to all!

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Old 07-25-2015, 05:53 AM
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Welcome, Leb!

Congrats on 30 days, BF

Good to see you, Drake!

A quick drive-by again :-)
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Old 07-25-2015, 06:21 AM
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Angie247 - I had nights like the one you described. My life revolved around drinking for a long time. It took me a while to learn how to unwind without alcohol. There's a saying "move a muscle, change a thought." I found a change of scenery helped me early in when I was deep in a craving. That's why I went to AA in the first place - it was a place where I could go for an hour where there wouldn't be alcohol. Plus there was coffee and cookies. Can you let us know how your night went when you get a chance?

Amp - I can really, really relate to your post - both the situation you found yourself in and your thoughts and feelings about it.

I can share advice I've heard. I don't necessarily agree with it or disagree with it. I'm just sharing it to give you something to think about. People new to sobriety ought to put ourselves, our needs, our sobriety first. To follow that advice to the letter is to suggest that you don't put yourself in a triggering situation until you are on firmer footing with your sobriety.

I didn't follow that advice. I felt like I owed it to my husband to accompany him to certain gatherings, including ones that I didn't like and others that were triggering for me. I struggled a lot dealing with them - I had many of the thoughts and feelings that you described in your post.

What helped me was I started to build escape mechanisms for myself. Like, when I took a boozy family vacation last summer, I made time away from the group to post on SR or read self help/recovery books. I went out with only my immediate family once or twice. I stayed in my cottage and watched tv while the other adults drank into the wee hours of the night. Still, it felt exhausting. This winter when it was time to commit to joining the group again this summer, I wasn't comfortable with it.

While you're visiting your wife's family, continue to protect your sobriety. If that means pretending so sleep, so be it! Get through it. Next time you can plan differently. She can go without you, you can stay in a hotel, you take excursions away from her family - or what ever other compromise works.

Changing the way I do things isn't easy, and doesn't always make other people happy, but I've learned that my happiness, comfort and sobriety are just as important as what other people want.
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