Class of April 2015 Part 7
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Mmm hmm. I often wish I could come out on top with these people. Out play them. But it's impossible to stoop to their level as they have experience.
I think the times when I feel best is when I tell them that although their actions may not be intentional (pfft), they are hurtful and I have too much respect for others and myself to recognize or participate. Then when they say something stupid again, I just give them the :/ look and shake my head. No words. If pushed, I just reply I would rather not promote that kind of attitude. Effem.
But normally, I don't have the guts. More often then that (than?? Can't recall, don't care to...lol), I'll give the :/ look and shake my head with no reply. After a few times I'll get questioned on my response and at that time I'll let em know. We're all human. There's no need to promote ourselves through the demotion of others.
I think the times when I feel best is when I tell them that although their actions may not be intentional (pfft), they are hurtful and I have too much respect for others and myself to recognize or participate. Then when they say something stupid again, I just give them the :/ look and shake my head. No words. If pushed, I just reply I would rather not promote that kind of attitude. Effem.
But normally, I don't have the guts. More often then that (than?? Can't recall, don't care to...lol), I'll give the :/ look and shake my head with no reply. After a few times I'll get questioned on my response and at that time I'll let em know. We're all human. There's no need to promote ourselves through the demotion of others.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
Step-monster. I call her my step-monster. And yes, she is very toxic and I try to limit my time spent with her. But at this time I have to be around her only because my dad is terminally ill. My dad and I had a huge fight/argument one night fueled with wine. I basically told him how I felt about his wife, and after going back and forth, we agreed to disagree. This was before his diagnosis, so now I just bite my tongue and try very hard to not let her get to me. This is their first visit since I quit drinking, but I feel confident. I will not stoop to her level, and just carry on. This is my house, I shouldn't feel threatened in my own home. I will keep you guys close. I may even be over reacting right now, but she does my head in!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
One last thing, then I will drop the subject, (she doesn't deserve this much attention!) My husband called and asked if he should pick up some wine, and I told him no. I said I texted her and told her I don't drink anymore and if she wanted wine, to bring a bottle for dinner. My husband just laughed, he could not believe I told her! I'm not going to lie, pretend, and make up stories anymore. It is what it is, and I quit drinking! Yay for me!
Last edited by Cauliflower; 07-22-2015 at 02:55 PM. Reason: I forgot the NOT in my last statement!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Yay for you is right!
Good to see you're comfortable with saying it.
It shouldn't be a big deal. No more than not eating fried foods or no more McDonalds.
Seems like not eating meat, or being vegan, or alcohol free requires further explanation from those who do it. Not always asked for, but it's almost always given. I always say "that's awesome" then I'll cut into and savor my steak. Mmm...steak. I'm hungry.
Good to see you're comfortable with saying it.
It shouldn't be a big deal. No more than not eating fried foods or no more McDonalds.
Seems like not eating meat, or being vegan, or alcohol free requires further explanation from those who do it. Not always asked for, but it's almost always given. I always say "that's awesome" then I'll cut into and savor my steak. Mmm...steak. I'm hungry.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,435
Cauliflower, I'm sorry that you have a Step Monster. 
Yay for telling her! :-)
Thank you for posting the youtube video, Incontrol! That was very funny. I just finished watching a movie that I was enjoying but the ending ruined the entire thing for me. I needed a laugh after that so thank you! :-) I loved the part about reheating the fries! LOL and it is so true. :-)
Yay for telling her! :-)Thank you for posting the youtube video, Incontrol! That was very funny. I just finished watching a movie that I was enjoying but the ending ruined the entire thing for me. I needed a laugh after that so thank you! :-) I loved the part about reheating the fries! LOL and it is so true. :-)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Hahaha! Step monster! My problems are with my monster in law and with my own monster who is coming to visit for 2 weeks (yes, 2 WEEKS) in August.
You move to another country to be far away from your problems and toxic relationships but they follow you! I think the liberation from these relationships and issues is in your own peace of mind. Alcohol for me was all about running away. Time to stand up now. One day at a time
You move to another country to be far away from your problems and toxic relationships but they follow you! I think the liberation from these relationships and issues is in your own peace of mind. Alcohol for me was all about running away. Time to stand up now. One day at a time
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
It's all McDonalds....
McDonald's of the soul!
That was too funny. I'm loving it!
So the evening was fine. I think my dad was feeling uncomfortable drinking his wine, and the step-monster was constantly at him, "have some wine, have some wine." We were all sat down, and my 9 year old tells a story about someone eating too much ketchup and dying (not sure where he comes up with these things?!) and the step-monster says, well everything can kill you if you eat too much of it. So my son says, "That's why mom quit drinking." Everyone just smiled and nodded in agreement, and since he had everyone's attention, he continued on with a little smirk on his face, and says, "Yes! Two bottles a day was just waaaay too much." I just cracked up! Little bit of an exaggeration, but it lightened the mood.
Yesterday, I completed a workout, so I am feeling great about finally just doing it. We are off for a walk to the dock soon, just to get out and moving again. I am just going to make exercise a part of my day, it is a winner for stress and anxiety!
McDonald's of the soul!
That was too funny. I'm loving it!
So the evening was fine. I think my dad was feeling uncomfortable drinking his wine, and the step-monster was constantly at him, "have some wine, have some wine." We were all sat down, and my 9 year old tells a story about someone eating too much ketchup and dying (not sure where he comes up with these things?!) and the step-monster says, well everything can kill you if you eat too much of it. So my son says, "That's why mom quit drinking." Everyone just smiled and nodded in agreement, and since he had everyone's attention, he continued on with a little smirk on his face, and says, "Yes! Two bottles a day was just waaaay too much." I just cracked up! Little bit of an exaggeration, but it lightened the mood.
Yesterday, I completed a workout, so I am feeling great about finally just doing it. We are off for a walk to the dock soon, just to get out and moving again. I am just going to make exercise a part of my day, it is a winner for stress and anxiety!
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kooskia, Idaho
Posts: 406
Glad your evening went well, Cauliflower. Your 9 year old sounds pretty funny. That's why I have always loved children, because they are honest and they can always lighten a mood.
88 days today. Had a couple close calls lately. My trip to Oregon went OK. I loved seeing my son. There were a few friends that I'm realizing that maybe we really don't know each other like I thought. When asked why I wasn't drinking I just said it wasn't working for me anymore. When I certain person persisted and went on how I wasn't fun anymore I brought up a few old memories of my blackouts where I basically scared the **** out of everyone, and asked, "have you forgotten about that?"..That shut him up.
On the last day of my trip I was at my mom's house. My sister came over and told me that my dad had died that morning. I had to catch a plane that afternoon to get home so I basically had to go into autopilot mode so I could get through my plane ride. My sister drove me to the airport and we stood outside chain smoking staring at the ground, not speaking until I had to go through security. I don't even remember the trip home to be honest. I am still kind of in shock. I haven't told any of my friends and won't talk to my mom, I will only talk to my sisters. I'm not sure why. I am just sad and really really angry. I don't want to lash out at anyone that I care about I guess. My husband has been OK, he actually laid some heavy **** on me a few hours after I got home that I won't go into now. But my whole world is changing and I am just kind of numb. My dad wants half his ashes spread in Orange County on the beach he used to surf in high school and the other half in eastern Utah where he was born...So it looks like I will be going on a trip with just my sisters soon. They have shut everyone out too..not sure why we are doing this.
Thank you Cauliflower for checking on me and dragging me out of my shell. I seriously might have drank that night if you didn't message me. And this is why we need each other.
88 days today. Had a couple close calls lately. My trip to Oregon went OK. I loved seeing my son. There were a few friends that I'm realizing that maybe we really don't know each other like I thought. When asked why I wasn't drinking I just said it wasn't working for me anymore. When I certain person persisted and went on how I wasn't fun anymore I brought up a few old memories of my blackouts where I basically scared the **** out of everyone, and asked, "have you forgotten about that?"..That shut him up.
On the last day of my trip I was at my mom's house. My sister came over and told me that my dad had died that morning. I had to catch a plane that afternoon to get home so I basically had to go into autopilot mode so I could get through my plane ride. My sister drove me to the airport and we stood outside chain smoking staring at the ground, not speaking until I had to go through security. I don't even remember the trip home to be honest. I am still kind of in shock. I haven't told any of my friends and won't talk to my mom, I will only talk to my sisters. I'm not sure why. I am just sad and really really angry. I don't want to lash out at anyone that I care about I guess. My husband has been OK, he actually laid some heavy **** on me a few hours after I got home that I won't go into now. But my whole world is changing and I am just kind of numb. My dad wants half his ashes spread in Orange County on the beach he used to surf in high school and the other half in eastern Utah where he was born...So it looks like I will be going on a trip with just my sisters soon. They have shut everyone out too..not sure why we are doing this.
Thank you Cauliflower for checking on me and dragging me out of my shell. I seriously might have drank that night if you didn't message me. And this is why we need each other.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 1,277
I'm glad the evening ended well
exercise has done wonders for my anxiety. Positive alternative to booze
Just checking in. Went and helped some family yesterday. Working the next 4 days. Next week I'm turning in an application packet for a school I'm interested in (just in case we don't move, never know). A little of this and a little of that.
Hope you all have a great start to the weekend. Almost Friday !!!
exercise has done wonders for my anxiety. Positive alternative to booze Just checking in. Went and helped some family yesterday. Working the next 4 days. Next week I'm turning in an application packet for a school I'm interested in (just in case we don't move, never know). A little of this and a little of that.
Hope you all have a great start to the weekend. Almost Friday !!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Oh Cee. Nothing anyone can say, I guess. Getting close with your sisters sounds like a good idea. So glad to hear you've been able to protect your sobriety in the face of such adversity. Stay close and take good care of yourself.
A
A
Cee farrow
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
oh Cee, again I am so sorry for your loss. It is heartbreaking I know. Thankfully you have your sisters to keep close, and a road trip with sisters sounds perfect at a time like this. A chance to just get away from it all, without getting plastered and waking up in the same #!%* the next morning, feeling even crappier. My sisters and I made a pact to stick together through the crap that will happen after our dad dies. Step-monster will bare her teeth then, no question.
I am feeling really down after the whirlwind visit with my dad. They arrived at dinner time last night, and left after coffee this morning. I haven't had anytime with my father lately. This was the literally the first I've seen him since I quit drinking 3 months ago, and that was a couple months after he came home from wintering in Mexico.
I am feeling lonely and depressed now. My husband was working all day and came home briefly to change and head out again. I can't believe I actually poked my head into the liquor cabinet tonight. First time in forever. And I am actually really pissed off at my husband, because after all the times over the last weekI told him not to buy wine, I noticed 3 bottles for red $@$%@$!!! wine. So here I am.
I am feeling really down after the whirlwind visit with my dad. They arrived at dinner time last night, and left after coffee this morning. I haven't had anytime with my father lately. This was the literally the first I've seen him since I quit drinking 3 months ago, and that was a couple months after he came home from wintering in Mexico.
I am feeling lonely and depressed now. My husband was working all day and came home briefly to change and head out again. I can't believe I actually poked my head into the liquor cabinet tonight. First time in forever. And I am actually really pissed off at my husband, because after all the times over the last weekI told him not to buy wine, I noticed 3 bottles for red $@$%@$!!! wine. So here I am.
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