Blogs


Notices

Class of April 2015 Part 7

Old 07-17-2015, 10:39 PM
  # 61 (permalink)  
Member
 
Lily123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 1,277
Just wanted to pop in and say hello! Everything is okay on this end. Filling in for someone tomorrow so I'll be working...Hope everyone has a decent weekend=)
Lily123 is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Lily123 For This Useful Post:
amp123 (07-17-2015), Angie247 (07-18-2015), CeeFarro (07-18-2015), Dee74 (07-18-2015), OMD (07-18-2015), SwimKim12 (07-18-2015)
Old 07-17-2015, 11:49 PM
  # 62 (permalink)  
Member
 
amp123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 1,983
Morning all! Interesting posts there about accountability. I'm sure the accountability I've found in this group has saved my sober ass more than a couple of times since this all started.

Strange thing happened yesterday. I took my daughter to a birthday party in a nearby town and was taking a walk on the seafront. I'm in the process of selling off some of my musical gear and i was meeting a guy who bought one of my oldest guitars. I have mixed emotions about all this but I have trouble being around the music scene right now as I need to protect my sobriety. I gave up my rehearsal rooms so I need to get rid of some of my stuff but I'm quite emotionally attached to some of it.

Anyway, I closed the deal and had the cash burning a hole in my pocket and an hour to kill when suddenly I bump up into an old friend... Well, a drinking buddy. Anyways, he's standing out front of a bar which he actually now OWNS and invites me inside to look around and have a drink. Wow! Trigger time!! Feeling emotional, money in my pocket, time to kill and a golden opportunity!!!

You know what? I hardly felt tempted. Only fleetingly. Said I had to pick up my daughter but thanks very much anyway.

That actually changed my mood and brought me up again though if it had happened say 6 weeks ago I'm not sure how it would have ended!!!

Hope you're all having a great sober weekend. Be strong and happy!
amp123 is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to amp123 For This Useful Post:
Angie247 (07-18-2015), Cauliflower (07-20-2015), CeeFarro (07-18-2015), Dee74 (07-18-2015), Lily123 (07-18-2015), Olivia2011 (07-19-2015), SwimKim12 (07-18-2015)
Old 07-18-2015, 02:00 AM
  # 63 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,563
Blog Entries: 1
You should be proud of your 90 days without alcohol Inc.

You also got a valuable lesson into how the AV will creep in through another door if it can...

You're totally clean and sober now...it should be a good day & a good weekend

Really glad you got through Amp

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
amp123 (07-18-2015), Angie247 (07-18-2015), CeeFarro (07-18-2015), Lily123 (07-18-2015), SwimKim12 (07-18-2015)
Old 07-18-2015, 05:51 AM
  # 64 (permalink)  
Member
 
Incontrol15's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Angie...I really hate bullies. Some people can be real A Holes. Wish I could blow them off and not let them bug me. Every once in a blue moon, I'll say something like "Do you feel better about yourself?" Needless to say, that doesn't always help, but it certainly makes ME feel better about MYSELF. Lol.

Amp...wow. That was a huuuuuge test. Way to go man!
Incontrol15 is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Incontrol15 For This Useful Post:
amp123 (07-18-2015), Angie247 (07-18-2015), Cauliflower (07-20-2015), CeeFarro (07-18-2015), Dee74 (07-19-2015), Lily123 (07-18-2015), OMD (07-18-2015), SwimKim12 (07-18-2015)
Old 07-18-2015, 08:02 AM
  # 65 (permalink)  
Member
 
SwimKim12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Morning, All. Amp, way to go! I'm glad you all are doing well this weekend.

Woke up to a thunderstorm (not the norm in San Diego). I realized that had I drank last night I would have been extremely hungover and would have missed it. So glad I made it through and didn't drink! Now I've got a fresh start to the weekend and can make plans without the AV butting in. Going to hit the gym (was going to swim outside but the pool will be closed because of the t-storms) and then the library. Maybe some shopping later (one activity I've actually started really enjoying now that I'm sober and a lot happier with my body). We shall see! Take care, everyone.
SwimKim12 is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to SwimKim12 For This Useful Post:
Angie247 (07-18-2015), Cauliflower (07-20-2015), CeeFarro (07-18-2015), Dee74 (07-19-2015), Lily123 (07-18-2015), OMD (07-18-2015)
Old 07-18-2015, 10:55 AM
  # 66 (permalink)  
Member
 
Angie247's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,424
Blog Entries: 30
Yay Amp! That's so awesome!

SwimKim, that's great! Hope you enjoy your weekend.

Incontrol, I despise bullies. This boss really likes her and people have always felt funny about complaining about her. It's time for it to stop though.

I'm doing great! Didn't sleep so well but I'll make up for it tonight. My son and I went out for a pancake and bacon breakfast at our favorite diner. We also got some rain!! It is needed so badly and I was happy to see it. We're now just hanging out with the super kitty and we're watching Garfield. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!!
Angie247 is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Angie247 For This Useful Post:
amp123 (07-18-2015), Cauliflower (07-20-2015), CeeFarro (07-18-2015), Dee74 (07-19-2015), Lily123 (07-18-2015), OMD (07-18-2015), SwimKim12 (07-18-2015)
Old 07-18-2015, 12:49 PM
  # 67 (permalink)  
OMD
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 558
Happy Saturday!

Seems like you've truly turned a corner Amp. Very pleased for you dude. I've stopped making excuses when I come across people - now I just say am not drinking. Whatever. Some work relationships have probably suffered but who cares in the scheme of things.

Glad to see the weekend is going well for everyone

Am having a great time with my daughter. We went swimming!!! At this point I feel blessed to have the opportunity to try to keep my act together. And I am definitely trying, folks. Gotta run.

Take care all
OMD
OMD is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to OMD For This Useful Post:
amp123 (07-18-2015), Angie247 (07-18-2015), Cauliflower (07-20-2015), CeeFarro (07-18-2015), Dee74 (07-19-2015), SwimKim12 (07-18-2015)
Old 07-19-2015, 12:03 AM
  # 68 (permalink)  
Member
 
amp123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 1,983
Yay! Inc and I turn 90 today!

Just thinking back to day 1.

90 days ago this would have felt impossible. I was going through one of those periods of disgust and self-loathing, quitting every morning and drinking again by the evening, but 20th April was different. I went out for a long run along the beach to clear my head (which needed a significant amount of clearing after the previous day's all day beer and wine session). I ran for miles till I was far from the town and all the people and I looked back down the beach towards the city where I live. Everything was fresh, crisp and perfectly defined and suddenly I really knew it could be different.

When I got home I had a shower and revived my SR account. That's when I began to meet all of you. I'd like to say how thankful I am to each of you, and to a lot of people who sadly aren't posting anymore.

I've been through a series of massive work crisis, bereavement, and a personal crisis during this short (but oh, so significant) time and it is solely because of each of you that I am still here.

There's so much I'd like to express but everything I seem to come up with falls short. Suffice it to day that I consider you all my sober family and I wish you all a magnificent sober Sunday!
amp123 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to amp123 For This Useful Post:
Angie247 (07-19-2015), Cauliflower (07-20-2015), Dee74 (07-19-2015), Olivia2011 (07-19-2015), SwimKim12 (07-19-2015)
Old 07-19-2015, 12:55 AM
  # 69 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,563
Blog Entries: 1
congrats again amp

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
amp123 (07-19-2015), Angie247 (07-19-2015), SwimKim12 (07-19-2015)
Old 07-19-2015, 01:38 AM
  # 70 (permalink)  
Member
 
Incontrol15's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Up and atom

90 days!!

First day at new PT job.
Not a fan of getting up at 4am.
Incontrol15 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Incontrol15 For This Useful Post:
amp123 (07-19-2015), Angie247 (07-19-2015), Dee74 (07-19-2015), SwimKim12 (07-19-2015)
Old 07-19-2015, 01:40 AM
  # 71 (permalink)  
Administrator
Thread Starter
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 188,563
Blog Entries: 1
Congrats IC

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Angie247 (07-19-2015), SwimKim12 (07-19-2015)
Old 07-19-2015, 02:10 AM
  # 72 (permalink)  
Member
 
Olivia2011's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Missouri
Posts: 515
That was a great read Amp. Thanks and congrats on 90!

Olivia
Olivia2011 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Olivia2011 For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (07-19-2015), SwimKim12 (07-19-2015)
Old 07-19-2015, 05:43 AM
  # 73 (permalink)  
Member
 
Incontrol15's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Break. Kicking ass at new job.

Very nice post Amp!

Sometimes I get frustrated with how much more I have to clean up. I forget it took a couple years to make the mess I have on my hands. And I don't look back at what I HAVE done.

Quitting alcohol was obviously a HUGE accomplishment. I can add obtaining another job as an accomplishment. Spousal support modification done. Caught up on the bills I can. Reinstated my car insurance. Made progress with bankruptcy.

I should keep a list of things I accomplish daily. That would really help with my anxiety.

The bottom line is...I AM MOVING FORWARD!
Incontrol15 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Incontrol15 For This Useful Post:
amp123 (07-19-2015), Angie247 (07-19-2015), Cauliflower (07-20-2015), SwimKim12 (07-19-2015)
Old 07-19-2015, 09:07 AM
  # 74 (permalink)  
Member
 
SwimKim12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Amp and Inc, congratulations on 90 days! Thank you for sharing your struggles and successes here. It has helped me tremendously.

My 90 Day mark is tomorrow, and like Amp I wanted to share where I was at at 90 days ago. My friend's (and longtime drinking buddy) bachelor weekend had just occurred. Even though I toyed with the idea of not drinking, ultimately I ended up drinking all day and night (noon until after midnight). I made a fool of myself by calling my "friend with benefits" and staying with him that night. I just remember I was such a mess and said the stupidest things. I was mortified with myself the next morning, and was so hungover. I vowed that I had to quit drinking. Then came Monday at work, and I found out that I was accepted to a highly prestigious national mentor program. I was so excited and relieved - this was the next big step in my career. So what did I do? Drank. I believe it was a bottle of wine and a 24-oz beer. Woke up early that morning with chest-crushing anxiety and pins and needles all over my skin. Set my alarm for 7am. Then 8am. Texted my boss at 8am to tell him my alarm didn't go off and I'd be late. He of course believed me and responded, "It's okay, don't worry, Kim, don't rush." I got to the office 45 mins later and went right to his office to apologize (knowing full well I looked completely hungover) and he joked that I must have been out late last night celebrating my acceptance into the program. He genuinely believed my excuse. I felt horrible. I was hungover most of the day. I knew it had to stop. I couldn't keep taking two steps forward and two steps back. That was my Day 1. I joined you all and made a plan to stay at my parents' that weekend and told my Mom I had quit drinking for good.

While it hasn't always been easy (end of last week a good example), I am so proud of myself for maintaining my sobriety. When I was drinking I was so disgusted with myself all the time. I'm happier, much more confident and relaxed than I was 3 months ago. I can't thank you all enough for being on this journey with me. This group has given me the support I needed when the AV started bugging me. I'm excited to see what the next 3 sober months will bring me.
SwimKim12 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SwimKim12 For This Useful Post:
amp123 (07-19-2015), Angie247 (07-19-2015), Olivia2011 (07-19-2015)
Old 07-19-2015, 09:31 AM
  # 75 (permalink)  
Member
 
amp123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 1,983
Nice post, Swim! I think it's both you and Cauliflower coming up to 90 tomorrow? It's interesting and worthwhile to have a think back to how we were feeling the few days before day 1 as it graphically illustrates just how far we've come.

Good to hear the new job is going well Inc. You're right when you say you need to cut yourself some slack. Years of chaos may take more than 3 months to straighten out but you are doing so well.

I think it was Cauliflower who posted some time ago about making lists. I've taken to doing this and have found it very empowering. Not sure if this is exactly how Cauliflower said to do it but what I do is write a list of all the things that are bothering me and then cross out all the ones that I can do nothing about. Next to the remaining items I write down at least one positive act (no matter how small) I can carry out that day regarding that issue. In this way I've felt I've been making tangible inroads into what have sometimes appeared to be insurmountable obstacles. Often problems that have appeared to be real monsters have been tamed with relative ease. Strange how one positive act can lead to another.

That's just another technique I've learned from this group which has made my life better.

Keep on keeping on, as Zab (104 days!!!) would say
amp123 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to amp123 For This Useful Post:
Angie247 (07-19-2015), Cauliflower (07-20-2015), Olivia2011 (07-19-2015)
Old 07-19-2015, 11:27 AM
  # 76 (permalink)  
Member
 
Lily123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 1,277
Some really good posts today. The list sounds like a great idea. I may give that a try. I've been struggling a little yesterday and today.

To be totally honest I feel like there's an end in site. Totally the AV I know. But the idea is that once my husband gets home I can go back to drinking. And that everything will be fine?! I know that's not true. I know that once I start drinking I'll be back to where I was. But yet I still find myself waiting for the deadline. I dunno. It's just an excuse to drink and I know that. But the idea is there nagging at me.

Today I am not drinking! Hope you all have a great Sunday
Lily123 is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Lily123 For This Useful Post:
amp123 (07-19-2015), Cauliflower (07-20-2015), Dee74 (07-19-2015), Olivia2011 (07-19-2015)
Old 07-19-2015, 01:32 PM
  # 77 (permalink)  
Member
 
Angie247's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: California
Posts: 2,424
Blog Entries: 30
Congratulations amp and incontrol on 90 days!!
Angie247 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Angie247 For This Useful Post:
amp123 (07-19-2015), Dee74 (07-19-2015)
Old 07-19-2015, 02:12 PM
  # 78 (permalink)  
Member
 
amp123's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 1,983
Hey Lilly! The main way to succeed in this is by seeing through AV's attempts to set you up. Looks like you're doing that! Stick close to SR and keep your priorities in order and you'll do great!
amp123 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to amp123 For This Useful Post:
Cauliflower (07-20-2015), Dee74 (07-19-2015)
Old 07-19-2015, 03:12 PM
  # 79 (permalink)  
Member
 
SwimKim12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Hi Lily, I know how you are feeling. On Friday the AV almost had me convinced that the cravings would never go away unless I drank. I had been having romantisized thoughts about drinking that just kept coming on stronger and stronger. Friday night was pretty rough but I stuck it out. Stayed close to SR. It helped and I made it through. No cravings at all today and only a hint of one yesterday (which is pretty much the norm). You can make it through. Think back to where you were on Day 1 and how much you've gained since then. I know you can do it!
SwimKim12 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to SwimKim12 For This Useful Post:
amp123 (07-19-2015), Dee74 (07-19-2015), Olivia2011 (07-19-2015)
Old 07-19-2015, 07:54 PM
  # 80 (permalink)  
Member
 
ZaBoozer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Johannesburg, Gauteng, South Africa
Posts: 1,371
Good morning all, catch up laggers.
ZaBoozer is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ZaBoozer For This Useful Post:
amp123 (07-19-2015), Dee74 (07-19-2015)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:32 AM.