Class of April 2015 Part 7
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Hey guys!
Yesterday I spent a great day out in Tangiers, North Africa. It's an incredibly beautiful place and as you walk around the Medina and the Kasbah it is as if you have stepped into another world. I enjoyed bartering at the stalls over the prices of ceramic, leather goods, etc and while I felt I was getting a deal on everything I bought, I'm sure I was really paying tourist prices! I also had a walk into the new part of the city and was surprised at how vibrant and modern that part of Morocco is.
Another thing I noticed, given that Morocco is a muslim country is that, of course nobody drinks. I remembered my last visit there some years ago in which I was a nervous wreck half of the time always with half an eye open for an international hotel where I may be able to score an alcoholic drink or two at the bar. It was a relief not to have to worry about that. Also nice to find no bars, only tea rooms. It was great to go into a place and see no alcohol anywhere and everyone just having a good time or chilling out. It is amazing what an integrated part of life alcohol is in the west yet, in other parts of the world in is entirely absent and nobody misses it. I must say, I found it very refreshing. All the people we met were very kind and open whether we were shopping, asking for directions or anything else. I was thinking that it's amazing to see a society function entirely in the absence of alcohol but then I thought it would be truer to turn that on it's head and look at how our own societies function (just about) DESPITE access to alcohol.
Anyway, that's my thought for the day. Have a good one, all!!
Yesterday I spent a great day out in Tangiers, North Africa. It's an incredibly beautiful place and as you walk around the Medina and the Kasbah it is as if you have stepped into another world. I enjoyed bartering at the stalls over the prices of ceramic, leather goods, etc and while I felt I was getting a deal on everything I bought, I'm sure I was really paying tourist prices! I also had a walk into the new part of the city and was surprised at how vibrant and modern that part of Morocco is.
Another thing I noticed, given that Morocco is a muslim country is that, of course nobody drinks. I remembered my last visit there some years ago in which I was a nervous wreck half of the time always with half an eye open for an international hotel where I may be able to score an alcoholic drink or two at the bar. It was a relief not to have to worry about that. Also nice to find no bars, only tea rooms. It was great to go into a place and see no alcohol anywhere and everyone just having a good time or chilling out. It is amazing what an integrated part of life alcohol is in the west yet, in other parts of the world in is entirely absent and nobody misses it. I must say, I found it very refreshing. All the people we met were very kind and open whether we were shopping, asking for directions or anything else. I was thinking that it's amazing to see a society function entirely in the absence of alcohol but then I thought it would be truer to turn that on it's head and look at how our own societies function (just about) DESPITE access to alcohol.
Anyway, that's my thought for the day. Have a good one, all!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 560
Morning all!
Been on the road, so it's good to see everyone is ok. I'm absolutely exhausted but sober, so that's something.
Hope you all have a great day. None for me.
I know it's a sweeping generalisation Amp but generally I don't like Muslim countries because of the mysogenism. It's probably a little better in very Northern Africa though. On the subject of alcohol, I saw a lot of back door use of alcohol and a lot of drunk driving out of Dubai back into Saudi. Same problems the world over. Our main problem in the West is I think that booze is generally regarded as a prerequisite for effective participation at all levels in society. The good news is that I think it is changing, albeit slowly. Large swathes of the younger demographic don't socialise by getting wasted on booze, so there is hope.
Right, no more waffle, am off!
Best wishes
OMD
Been on the road, so it's good to see everyone is ok. I'm absolutely exhausted but sober, so that's something.
Hope you all have a great day. None for me.
I know it's a sweeping generalisation Amp but generally I don't like Muslim countries because of the mysogenism. It's probably a little better in very Northern Africa though. On the subject of alcohol, I saw a lot of back door use of alcohol and a lot of drunk driving out of Dubai back into Saudi. Same problems the world over. Our main problem in the West is I think that booze is generally regarded as a prerequisite for effective participation at all levels in society. The good news is that I think it is changing, albeit slowly. Large swathes of the younger demographic don't socialise by getting wasted on booze, so there is hope.
Right, no more waffle, am off!
Best wishes
OMD
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Morning, All. Amp and OMD you make some good points. Amp, I sometimes have that amazed feeling of "we/I don't need alcohol to socialize" at work lunches. I work for the government so drinking/drugs are not allowed (unlike some private companies), and it is always refreshing to go out with a group for lunch and have alcohol not even be a question.
It's sunny and hot here already - good vacation weather
Hope everyone has a great day!
It's sunny and hot here already - good vacation weather
Hope everyone has a great day!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
This morning as I'm reading your posts I feel like I am genuinely happy for all of you. We have been through 4 months of recovery together, we took it serious enough to focus on our sobriety, and now we really do seem ready to live a sober life. Yesterday we went to local hangout for a fundraiser. The dinner was just ok, nothing fancy. My husband noted that back in the day, it was a happening place, but it seemed a little run down and "tired". I guess people don't really party all that much anymore, not sure. I didn't even think about alcohol either, so that was great! The AV was nonexistent. I would have preferred being in Morocco though, that is going into the bucket for sure.
So, I have made the decision to carry on with my business after taking 4 months off. If it doesn't work in the the next three months, then I will pack it in, but before I do that I need to see if I can actually be successful with my renewed focus and determination.
With that said, I am off and running.
Happy Thursday everyone.
So, I have made the decision to carry on with my business after taking 4 months off. If it doesn't work in the the next three months, then I will pack it in, but before I do that I need to see if I can actually be successful with my renewed focus and determination.
With that said, I am off and running.
Happy Thursday everyone.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Hey Cauliflower! Good luck with the business! I am going back to work after a month off on Monday and it kind of feels like a fresh start too!
Even so, another week off would still be welcome!!! Hahaha
OMD. Totally with you about some aspects of Arabic culture although there are other elements I greatly admire, not least the ability to enjoy life without alcohol. Didn't see anyone drinking in Tangiers which was a welcome relief!
4 months is certainly an interesting place to be. Not sure about the rest of you but this is all beginning to feel genuinely doable!!!
Even so, another week off would still be welcome!!! Hahaha
OMD. Totally with you about some aspects of Arabic culture although there are other elements I greatly admire, not least the ability to enjoy life without alcohol. Didn't see anyone drinking in Tangiers which was a welcome relief!
4 months is certainly an interesting place to be. Not sure about the rest of you but this is all beginning to feel genuinely doable!!!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 560
Hi all,
I agree - we definitely are getting the hang of it. Nothing is going to make all the problems we created or ignored by drinking go away, but we can address them much more effectively by not drinking. In short, I cannot compare my quality of life now with that which I had before. All the things - small and big - that you don't need to worry about when you're not drinking are incredible. So why would I now drink? Well because it's highly addictive and I've been doing it for years. Apart from that there is no reason that I can think of. As long as I remind myself of my basic truths and I genuinely choose to be sober I will be happier because I will be sober.
I have a lot to be thankful for, in particular the ability to share this journey with you.
Thanks
OMD
I agree - we definitely are getting the hang of it. Nothing is going to make all the problems we created or ignored by drinking go away, but we can address them much more effectively by not drinking. In short, I cannot compare my quality of life now with that which I had before. All the things - small and big - that you don't need to worry about when you're not drinking are incredible. So why would I now drink? Well because it's highly addictive and I've been doing it for years. Apart from that there is no reason that I can think of. As long as I remind myself of my basic truths and I genuinely choose to be sober I will be happier because I will be sober.
I have a lot to be thankful for, in particular the ability to share this journey with you.
Thanks
OMD
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Welcome, Stargazer! Happy to have you in the group
I'm ending my day feel so incredibly grateful for my sobriety. I would not be confident and happy with myself if I were still drinking. It has been a lot of work and continues to be hard at times, but I am absolutely reaping the rewards. As always, thank you all for being here. Off to bed now...goodnight!
I'm ending my day feel so incredibly grateful for my sobriety. I would not be confident and happy with myself if I were still drinking. It has been a lot of work and continues to be hard at times, but I am absolutely reaping the rewards. As always, thank you all for being here. Off to bed now...goodnight!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Good morning Stargazer.
Congrats on 4months sober. Glad to have you here.
My summary:
Live in Ohio, USA. Was an all day drunk starting with vodka in my coffee. Hit what I thought was rock bottom only to learn it was a false floor. Tried to quit a few times. Was getting tired of the severe anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Finally found the strength to say NO in 4/22. I have a history with other addictions: pot, bath salts, and pain pills.
I had a pot relapse a month ago or so? Otherwise, been free of everything for 4months.
I'm still learning, still growing, still recovering. But I am soooo much happier today than I was 4months ago.
I'm in for the long haul.
None for me today.
Congrats on 4months sober. Glad to have you here.
My summary:
Live in Ohio, USA. Was an all day drunk starting with vodka in my coffee. Hit what I thought was rock bottom only to learn it was a false floor. Tried to quit a few times. Was getting tired of the severe anxiety and suicidal thoughts. Finally found the strength to say NO in 4/22. I have a history with other addictions: pot, bath salts, and pain pills.
I had a pot relapse a month ago or so? Otherwise, been free of everything for 4months.
I'm still learning, still growing, still recovering. But I am soooo much happier today than I was 4months ago.
I'm in for the long haul.
None for me today.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,176
Good morning!
My brief summary:
Started drinking daily upon turning 21 in college and had been a daily drinker for 33 years since then. I guess you are never too old to get it together. Began drinking because I enjoyed it and the social aspects. Slowly became a habit and finally a necessity. I hate to use the term "highly functioning alcoholic" but that is who I am. I am a manager with 60 people under me and do well at my job. People think I am a good parent. No one, including my wife with whom I have lived with for 20 years, had a clue that I had a problem with alcohol. I concealed it well. I always drank just to the line of what I thought was buzzed but in control. Over the past couple of years, my tolerance shot up and I needed more and more booze to get that buzz going. I gulped drinks secretly before going out with others, especially if I knew there wouldn't be alcohol around. I started drinking in my car on the way home from work because I couldn't wait another 30 minutes for a drink. On days off, I couldn't stop myself from drinking as soon as I got up. My life had become a big lie. I was just slogging through each day without joy, trying to drink enough to make it through. I tried to moderate, but naturally, that was not successful. I got scared and finally decided I had to quit or I would be dead drinking like this in ten more years. I look at my kids and I don't want them to have this monkey on their back. They have so much promise and deserve to have an old man who isn't half in the bag all the time. Happy to be at 19 weeks not drinking!
My brief summary:
Started drinking daily upon turning 21 in college and had been a daily drinker for 33 years since then. I guess you are never too old to get it together. Began drinking because I enjoyed it and the social aspects. Slowly became a habit and finally a necessity. I hate to use the term "highly functioning alcoholic" but that is who I am. I am a manager with 60 people under me and do well at my job. People think I am a good parent. No one, including my wife with whom I have lived with for 20 years, had a clue that I had a problem with alcohol. I concealed it well. I always drank just to the line of what I thought was buzzed but in control. Over the past couple of years, my tolerance shot up and I needed more and more booze to get that buzz going. I gulped drinks secretly before going out with others, especially if I knew there wouldn't be alcohol around. I started drinking in my car on the way home from work because I couldn't wait another 30 minutes for a drink. On days off, I couldn't stop myself from drinking as soon as I got up. My life had become a big lie. I was just slogging through each day without joy, trying to drink enough to make it through. I tried to moderate, but naturally, that was not successful. I got scared and finally decided I had to quit or I would be dead drinking like this in ten more years. I look at my kids and I don't want them to have this monkey on their back. They have so much promise and deserve to have an old man who isn't half in the bag all the time. Happy to be at 19 weeks not drinking!
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,176
I have to admit that I also was a lurker from the beginning on this site and it took me a couple of months to officially join. Beforehand, I would just punch in "6 days sober" or whatever day I was on into my phone or computer and read the threads. This community has made it possible for me to see that people can overcome the "Devil on the Shoulder" and lead a better life. Thanks to all on this Board for the inspiration!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Good for you SG. Thank you for joining. There's strength in numbers. Sometimes I look back at all the lost souls that posted day 1 and are gone. The class was massive and has dwindled down to the lucky few who remain.
And I'm with you. If it weren't for this forum, I don't know if I would be where I am. I saw that I was not alone in how bad I was off and I saw that others who were worse off than me made it.
Following SR made me realize that there's no moderation and made it clear that if I drink again, I'll simply end up on the express lane to my previous destination.
But what helped the most was noticing the simple fact that we all had almost identical struggles and triumphs in our journey. With that awareness, It's easy to glimpse into the future. I can clearly see what my future would be if I picked up the bottle vs if I didn't by what others posted.
I can see at 4months, I'm not out of the woods yet. I can see that I have to protect my sobriety with everything I got. I can see the desperation from those who have relapsed. I can see the joy from those with years under their belt.
Honestly, when I posted day 1, I didn't have the intention to stay sober forever. Just wasn't a thought. I only wanted to take a break and thought I would be able to drink normally after that.
I'm not different. I'm not special. I am an addict plane and simple.
I too am eternally grateful for SR. And I absolutely LOVE our group here in April. And I am truly thankful you have joined us.
And I'm with you. If it weren't for this forum, I don't know if I would be where I am. I saw that I was not alone in how bad I was off and I saw that others who were worse off than me made it.
Following SR made me realize that there's no moderation and made it clear that if I drink again, I'll simply end up on the express lane to my previous destination.
But what helped the most was noticing the simple fact that we all had almost identical struggles and triumphs in our journey. With that awareness, It's easy to glimpse into the future. I can clearly see what my future would be if I picked up the bottle vs if I didn't by what others posted.
I can see at 4months, I'm not out of the woods yet. I can see that I have to protect my sobriety with everything I got. I can see the desperation from those who have relapsed. I can see the joy from those with years under their belt.
Honestly, when I posted day 1, I didn't have the intention to stay sober forever. Just wasn't a thought. I only wanted to take a break and thought I would be able to drink normally after that.
I'm not different. I'm not special. I am an addict plane and simple.
I too am eternally grateful for SR. And I absolutely LOVE our group here in April. And I am truly thankful you have joined us.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
My story and behaviour (down to that drinking in the car!) Is so similar to yours, Stargazer. Also started with me early on as a social thing and I always just liked it a bit more than everyone else, but last few years have scared me.
A person on the One Year and Under thread talked about turning self-loathing into self-respect. 4 months and looking good
A person on the One Year and Under thread talked about turning self-loathing into self-respect. 4 months and looking good
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Morning, All. SG, I have a similar story as well. Always was a binge drinker, never was satisfied with one or two (I remember that feeling even back in high school). I got to a point where I was drinking by myself and missing work because of hangovers. That's when I knew I couldn't drink anymore. I knew I would ruin my life.
I quit on 4/21 but slipped/relapsed twice in August. I was having horribly negative feelings and I just couldn't cope, so what did I do? I went back to my old coping method. And it was horrible. In retrospect I realized it was PAWS, so I've learned to be highly aware of that. Being sober is so much better than the alternative.
Had a fun day in Santa Barbara (beach) yesterday. My mom and I took the train which was fun and scenic. A group of people got on the train in the morning and were going wine tasting that day and started drinking right off the bat. It made me uncomfortable/mad, but they actually didn't get out of control like I thought they would. They talked a lot about alcohol which bugged me, but I sat through it and still had fun. Didn't make me want to drink!
Had a "moment" last night that made me test my sober coping mechanisms: my ex bf (we were together 3.5 years and broke up last fall) has a new gf and there were pictures posted on facebook of a trip they took together. When I saw that it was a gut punch - my heart started racing and I started to get really angry with thoughts like, "he never wanted to go anywhere with me," etc. Normally I would have gone straight for the bottle. Instead, I took a step back and recognized my feelings and walked myself through all the positive things I've accomplished since we broke up (number one being sobriety). I reminded myself that I'm really happy with myself now, and I am very lucky to have wonderful family and friends. And I'm having fun doing things like learning to surf. I felt so much better. It's that kind of thinking that will help me get over that relationship and maybe one day be ready to jump into another one.
Happy Friday! Hope you all start the weekend off right
I quit on 4/21 but slipped/relapsed twice in August. I was having horribly negative feelings and I just couldn't cope, so what did I do? I went back to my old coping method. And it was horrible. In retrospect I realized it was PAWS, so I've learned to be highly aware of that. Being sober is so much better than the alternative.
Had a fun day in Santa Barbara (beach) yesterday. My mom and I took the train which was fun and scenic. A group of people got on the train in the morning and were going wine tasting that day and started drinking right off the bat. It made me uncomfortable/mad, but they actually didn't get out of control like I thought they would. They talked a lot about alcohol which bugged me, but I sat through it and still had fun. Didn't make me want to drink!
Had a "moment" last night that made me test my sober coping mechanisms: my ex bf (we were together 3.5 years and broke up last fall) has a new gf and there were pictures posted on facebook of a trip they took together. When I saw that it was a gut punch - my heart started racing and I started to get really angry with thoughts like, "he never wanted to go anywhere with me," etc. Normally I would have gone straight for the bottle. Instead, I took a step back and recognized my feelings and walked myself through all the positive things I've accomplished since we broke up (number one being sobriety). I reminded myself that I'm really happy with myself now, and I am very lucky to have wonderful family and friends. And I'm having fun doing things like learning to surf. I felt so much better. It's that kind of thinking that will help me get over that relationship and maybe one day be ready to jump into another one.
Happy Friday! Hope you all start the weekend off right
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Wow Kim. Good day for sure. Old relationships are a bear to deal with. Just do yourself the favor and stop looking. He just may move on and have a wonderful life. Letting his life effect yours just isn't worth it.
I too am still working through tough moments that would quickly send me to the bottle. Im learning more each time how to get through them and it keeps getting easier. The best part, is when the feelings are over, I don't have the feelings of regret because I drank!
Now today, you get to continue with your life as if nothing happened. I'm happy for you!
I too am still working through tough moments that would quickly send me to the bottle. Im learning more each time how to get through them and it keeps getting easier. The best part, is when the feelings are over, I don't have the feelings of regret because I drank!
Now today, you get to continue with your life as if nothing happened. I'm happy for you!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
Learning new coping skills is key! Wtg Swim!
Welcome to our little space on the net, Stargazer. I am glad you can join us! I am quite happy here, and I too feel as though with out SR, I would not be 4 months sober.
Welcome to our little space on the net, Stargazer. I am glad you can join us! I am quite happy here, and I too feel as though with out SR, I would not be 4 months sober.
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