Mark1014

Thought of you first thing this morning Briar. I hope your little one likes the big girl bed. Maybe you'll get that walk in today.

Conquest

Up too early on a Saturday as well, helping set up at church for next week's camp. I had no idea how detailed and involved this was going to be. It's been a lot of work with some truly awesome people. I'm looking forward to it.

Ladies... Have yall seen The Brave Girls Club daily emails? Someone posts them on here. That's how I found out about them. They are very uplifting to me and I look forward to getting them each day. If you haven't read them before, I thought you might enjoy their encouragement too.
Here's where you sign up...
Subscribe to Receive our Daily Truth Emails - Brave Girls Club
With permission to repost, here's today's truth...

Conquest

Dear Sweet Girl,

How about if you make a goal this weekend to stop worrying and to let go of fear and doubt...just for two days...48 hours.

Want to know a great way to do that?

Take out a piece of paper and list everything that's RIGHT...leave out anything that seems wrong. List your blessings, list your positive attributes, list the miracles that have gotten you to where you are now.

List every little thing you can think of.

When you walk in gratitude and keep your mind focused on your thankfulness, fear and worry and doubt magically fade...I promise.

Come on, just try it. It just might be the best weekend you have ever had...and you deserve a weekend full of happiness and peace.

Keep up the beautiful work on your beautiful life.

You are so very loved.
www.bravegirlsclub.com

Mark1014

Hi gang,

Didn't know I could check in mid-flight. JetBlue had been a great experience so far. As we boarded I noticed people in the airport bar already. I never drank in public that early, but I'm so glad my garage can't talk!

Sounds like a great volunteer opportunity at your church conquest.

Briar

Hi guys, I'm feeling a little better this morning. I think a good night's sleep helped. I might still lay around all day, the workweek took a lot out of me. The thought of a walk gives me a shot of panic, but I may load up on anxiety meds and do it anyway. F you, bipolar, I still have a life, you know.

Some healthy food would be a good plan too. Depression sometimes makes me crave carbs (they increase serotonin), so I have decimated the animal cracker population. Not really helping the brilliant weight loss plan. I'll send my husband to the store for some fruit.

Mark - way to keep up appearances. If a bar was open, I was at it. My husband and I never boarded a plane without at least a double first. Then I'd sneak another while he was in the bathroom. Maybe one more. Toward the end I got a lot of concerned looks from bartenders and other patrons, but I didn't care, the drink was way more important than what anyone thought of me. No good.

Conquest - thanks for posting that. I think I'll do that little writing assignment. That would be extra good for me right now. I'm actually thinking of turning my journal into a gratitude journal because regular journaling isn't doing me any good, I tend to focus on negative stuff and wander that direction even when I start on something positive. I essentially quit journaling when I went into rehab. My idea is a gratitude journal and a separate one strictly for stories about my daughter. It looks like a big project to me right now, but I know when I'm well it's totally doable and would be fun.

I need to make invitations for my daughter's birthday party. It will be August 22nd. Her birthday is the 21st, and mine is the 23rd, so mine gets totally eclipsed by hers, but that's fine with me.

So today has the potential to go well and be reasonably productive. That is my goal. I hope you all have a good Saturday.

Mark1014

Really good to read that post briar. But as far as appearances go, I was getting sloppy. A week or two before finding SR I was at the store one morning at about 7 to get my first six pack of the day. I had a horrible hangover and threw up in the bag with my beer. I found some napkins in my truck, wiped them off and started drinking one on the way home. Classy! (But also history)

I look forward to a better day for you briar.....wishing you the very best today!!!

Briar

Nice, Mark. I'm sure we can all relate to being real classy like that. In the interest of not wasting vodka, I'd skillfully catch the first shot in my mouth on its way back up and swallow it again. Mad muscle coordination at 6am. Life sucks pretty bad when that's all you've got to be proud of.

Arbor

I think it's a good idea to reflect on how bad it actually got. Since my last slip I've been doing that a lot. I was never a morning drinker or a drinker at work which is why I had a hard time admitting my alcoholism, but as soon as I got home it was game on to see how much alcohol I could get in to my stomach before dinner. DAILY. The weekends were a mess. Usually would start drinking by 12 noon-1 o'clock. Could easily finish one of those big bottles of wine in an afternoon. And who knows what else. All the empties hidden upstairs in my studio. Boy what a mess! Looking back it's pretty classic textbook alcoholism.

Mark1014

Reflecting does provide a sometimes needed reality check for me. Looking back at the progression of my drinking habits is a key difference that I notice when I compare myself to my brother. As Arbor posted a couple of weeks or so ago, it does seem that some people seem to get away with it when it comes to drinking a lot. I see my brother that way. He drinks a good bit, but I've never noticed a change/progression of what he does. I was clearly on a downward spiral. I absolutely believe that I was getting close to letting it affect my work and if it had I would have lost years and years of career progress.

I try not to linger too long with my mind in that place or it becomes counterproductive for me. Today I am feeling a bit like a bewildered kid full of wonder and excitement....the good stuff. This city is something else! Everyone is napping but me. The view out the bedroom window is the Empire State Building.....looking forward to seeing that tonight. Now I've just got to figure out the logistics of getting around this place....I'm getting hungry! Doing this trip drinking would not have been good at all. My gang needs me to be in the moment and on my game here. So far so good.

Hope it's been a nice weekend for the everyone.

Mark1014

The fridge is stocked. Not my favorite thing, but not a big deal for a few days. Wouldn't want to see that every day.

BrighterDayz

I'm not far from you Mark. Gorgeous weather today and tomorrow. Enjoy!
Looking forward to hearing about the trip.

Briar did the bed come yet? We are all on tenterhooks waiting to hear, LOL!

Mark1014

Thanks BD. The weather feels really good to us too. I've been invited to join one of the SR members for a meeting, and I may do that if time allows this week. Not sure if it'll work out. Decided to take a nap after all as we got almost no good sleep last night. So about to hit the streets and start figuring this out.

Dee74

Great pics Mark - enjoy your stay

D

venuscat

I was only ever sick a few times from my drinking, which in retrospect made it easy to fool myself for a lot more years. Until I came here, I didn't even know that the foggy feeling was a hangover. But I was a huge grass smoker, and that kept me heavily in denial...anyway, it's all behind me now.

Mark ~ totally up to you, but you can ask the hotel to remove the alcohol from the fridge. I know other people who have done that. Just a thought.

Sounds like you had a better day Briar. Hope you went for that walk.

That's lovely that you are helping to organise the church camp Conquest.

Huge hugs for everyone; still waking up here.

Briar

BD we are still waiting for the bed to arrive. Any minute now...we bought a little canopy for it too. I'll post a pic when it's all put together.

Conquest

So excited to see the new bed!

And vacationing vicariously through you, Mark. Keep the pics coming!

I'm just tired. My Saturday night will be coming to a close soon. Love to you all!

Briar

Here it is! The rails cramp the style a bit, but safety first! I think she's going to love it.

And now you know baby girl's name. I'll be taking the pic down in a day or so.

Arbor

Looks great Briar. My three year old still loves his crib. But he's getting so big now. It's all natural wood and converts into a nice bed. May switch it over by the fall.

venuscat

That is so so beautiful Briar!!! What a lucky little girl.

And yes Arbor, probably time to convert that bed for your gorgeous big boy!

Dee74

looks great briar - she won't need the rails for long

D