venuscat

I hope I didn't say the wrong thing Mark; you know I love you.

A lady who used to clean for my parents and is a total sweetheart gave us all cyclamens on the day of dad's funeral. I normally don't do well with this particular plant, but I think mum is helping me: ~



OK...bed for me.

Night all.

Mark1014

All good V. Getting others' perspectives is a main purpose of posting n'est-ce pas? How's that for fancy talk!

phoebe64

Lovely plant, V.

Mark, I definitely used alcohol to turns brain off, especially *after* social events, as much, and in the end, more than during events.

Back to being a summer chauffeur. Lol. Kids in activities this week and a dentist appointment in there for me. Today is an easy day, actually. My daughter was offered a ride. I just took a short walk, but still recovering from my back issues. I am not in pain and canove, but had some ache in my sciatic distribution walking. Need to pace myself and do a few shorter walks.

Had I mentioned that my daughter chose a Fitbit to give to me for my bday? From the family, not just her. So, trying to increase my daily steps.

Hope you are okay, Briar. Stay cool, BD. I hate humidity. Vegas feeling it on my walk, but it did not seem as bad as yours. V, glad you are on the mend, but sorry so tired.

Good morning and good afternoon to Leigh and Dee.

Arbor

I hear you on that. Not sure where you are located but I'm out in it right now. I can smell the coffee sweating out through my pores.

Have a great day team.

Conquest

Beautiful, Venus!

I'm very analytical, too. It helps me in the work place and I'm almost always sure that every option is presented. I like to "punch holes" in plans and always truly appreciate when others can do the same for me or can think up an option that I haven't considered.
Cowboy has said "Over- analysis leads to paralysis." And that can be very true for me. Sometimes I get stuck in analysis mode. I guess he noticed that right away. Lol. Sobriety has helped tremendously. I don't "get stuck" and stew over potential possibilities as much. There's more doing, ya know? Adding that to the gratitude list now.

I hate to rub it in, but I get to work from home today. SOooo... I'm taking my laptop poolside and planning to make taco salads for dinner. Nice and easy.

Arbor

Yeah over analysis can be a dangerous thing. Using our intelligence to combat the addiction has proven to only get me so far. I may start to subconsciously allow the AV back in when I feel like I've gotten the whole "not drinking thing" down. I have to admit I try to be grateful like Venus and even post on the bedtime gratitude thread daily, but eventually one starts to think I want more out of this. If allowed to grow we can start to convince ourselves that we weren't all that bad. So be careful. If I could harness and bottle up what V has I'd hand it out. Some great work there.

phoebe64

Hoo, boy! Trying to get nearly 16yo daughter to help out a little. She is here for a few hours in the afternoons this week, while her brother is in a camp. Asked her to fold a load of laundry, largely her bed sheets and clothing, 3 times. I want to move over some wet laundry. I could do it myself, of course, but I am tired of her flopping on the couch pretty much anytime she is not out of the house or out playing with other kids. She watches TV on her phone, or is looking at dogs to adopt.

I will not drink out of frustration with her. Just putting that out there. I need a solution. Maybe a list of things I expect each kid to do each day before they are allowed any electronics. Mark, BD, any other parents of older kids? How do you deal with lazy tween and teens? They were more helpful or happy to help when younger.

Mark1014

phoebe, I guess it's just the nature of the beast. Mine are the same way. Wish I could offer words of wisdom, but I've none to share.

BrighterDayz

I've always worked FT. I had DD setting the table at three. She has been doing stuff like her own laundry since she was 14; before that she would help me put it away. She keeps her own room clean. It would never occur to her to do anything at all to help me on her own. I always felt that school was her "job" and if she was studying, that was OK. As far as her lounging on the couch watching TV while I clean, that's not happening. There is no negotiating there. I tell her what I need her to do and she does it. Recently I told her that I could count the times that she's taken the garbage out in her lifetime on one hand. She countered with "that's not true-it would take both hands!" Phoebe, I think that many of us had to do too much as kids-I had six younger brothers and sisters to help care for-and err in having our kids not do enough. We can change that.

phoebe64

Yeah, dd does know how, and will do laundry if I tell her to do it. I may have to a few times. I just did things, as a kid. I was more interested in cooking, I babysat and was naturally responsible. I need to give my kids a big nudge, I think! It is a matter of life skills at this point. People need to know how to be reasonably tidy and clean. I do have them do things, but it needs to become habit rather than an event.

Briar

Here. Alive and sober. Every time I try to post I realize I'm not making sense, so I'm just going to keep quiet for now. One step at a time and don't trust anything I think until I'm out of this. I hope to be back on track with you guys soon, I know this will pass.

venuscat

(((Briar))) ♥

Dee74

Hi Briar,

you seem to be making sense to me. Yesterday was a long day for me, so I didn;t reply

D

SoberLeigh

Hi, Briar; hope you are okay, sweetheart.

SoberLeigh

You always seem to make perfect sense to me, Briar.

phoebe64

Agreed, Briar. You always make sense to me too. Hugs.

Conquest

We getcha, Briar. Post away. Big hugs

I'm not sure how else to get Tweens/teens to do chores except by using extrinsic motivators; Earning money and losing privileges are the two biggies that come to mind. Getting a first job with a paycheck is a great life experience that I believe kiddos should attempt as soon as they're able. If it involves laundering a work uniform, even better. There's nothing like having to wear a pressed white shirt that is slightly tinted pink by the red sock that you mixed in after the first time doing laundry. Talk about motivation to learn how to get it right. Lol. Good luck, super moms!

I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I've never been so happy to get a phone call from the dentist to come in for an appointment. My new and improved partial is ready and it saved me from one of the most boring trainings I've ever sat through. And my boss said to just enjoy the rest of the afternoon! woohoo! I may go to the library to search for one or two of these books...

10 Life-Changing Books That Will Stay With You Forever | Live Happy Magazine

I don't think I've ready any of them... Hope everyone is doing well!

venuscat

Oooo thank you for that list Conquest. I saved it.

I have read The Alchemist ~ I'm a big fan of Paulo Coelho. I have read quite a few of his bools. The Alchemist was most definitely my favourite though. I loved it so much that I read the whole book in one night.

I have The Road Less Travelled, and Conversations with God (must get pats 2 and 3)...none of the others though.

I kept typing posts in response to getting kids to do chores, but erased them as I'm not a parent....but....I really really think that if I was a parent, and my kids wouldn't help out around the house, I would be saying fine, but I won't be paying for your phone this month. I grew up receiving pocket money form my parents. It wasn't exactly conditional, but I doubt it would have been forthcoming if we didn't do our share. We always took turns doing the dishes after dinner, and every Friday afternoon we had set tasks to do around the house. I think it was good for us.

Thinking of you darling Briar. And all of you.

BrighterDayz

Quite the avatar Briar! You do find some good ones. I think we've all had those days.

Arbor

The Road Less Traveled looks like my kind of read. I will check that out. Thanks Conquest.

Today's my birthday. Was a good day. Worked, came home, had some homemade strawberry cake my wife made special. First sober birthday that I can remember, really. Since high school at the very least.