Conquest

(((Leigh))) Your words are golden, sweet girl.
Thinking of my family members' struggles motivates me to keep on the sober path. Like you said, It truly does feel like an escape... Makes me think of those old cartoons where the characters are digging their ways out of jail with only a spoon... A little bit at a time. Lol

Mark1014

^^^^^^^^^^^^
I've pretty much come to accept this. Do I get impatient with the process? Oh yes. But this statement by Leigh and similar posts by others with long-term success is something I'm investing in.

I absolutely know that my sober life won't become a place of bunnies and rainbows. But I can see the day coming when we will no longer have to mentally weigh out the pros and cons of this thing......the supposed benefits of (unobtainable) moderation verses the initially reluctant embrace of sobriety. Release of that burden is something I'm counting on. I'm not there yet, but I'm a helluva lot closer than I used to be and can actually see it as a real possibility now.

And Leigh, prayers for you in whatever burdens you carry as you observe those you referenced struggle with the effects of alcohol abuse. It seems that no one can make the decision to turn the tide but the individual. It can be heartbreaking I'm sure.

Arbor

Glad I can be the example to learn from. Lol

Conquest

We're all examples to learn from, I believe.

Arbor

I'm fine tonight. Just had a bowl of ice cream. On the way home from work my wife wanted me to stop and pick up some rolls at the bakery. Of course there was a liquor store right next door. Could have happened, but it didn't.

Glad to be here tonight.

Dee74

I don't say this often in case it discourages people but it took me a year or more to really start to get the benefits of sobriety.

I was a really messed up human being, and change takes time.

Now of course I look back and that year seems like no time at all....

have faith Arbor

have a great weekend everyone

D

Arbor

Yeah Dee, but how many slips did you have in that year? Mine are racking up...

I think Leigh said it was like three years before she started feeling better. That's just plain old crazy to think that. Do you really think most addicts have that kind of patience? I don't.

So your one year actually sounds very encouraging to me right now.

Dee74

no slips in that year arbor or since - but literally hundreds if not thousands before then.

I think the problem was, before, when life sober got no better I'd drink again - which put me right back at square one with regards to physical and mental damage.

It was a particularly desolate cycle.

I really needed that faith that life would get better if I stayed sober to sustain me - and life really did get better, once I did

D

Mark1014

^^^^^^^^^^
And there it is again, from someone who's been there. I'm hanging my hat on that!

The time is going to pass whether it be one year, three, or whatever. I invested many many more years than that in drinking and have been unhappy with the return on my investment. We've just got to do this part of the process. Ain't no getting around it. (Something closer to a year gets my vote though, less would be ok by me too!)

venuscat

Just got home from working...and I have been thinking about you Arbor, and all of us actually all morning.

What Dee said is what I was thinking about.

I have COMPLETE faith that life can and will get better, and that it can be wonderful. Sure, there are bumps. Life happens, so to speak. But I truly believe that long-term sobriety is the key to happiness for me. Without a doubt.

OK ~ going back to read now.

phoebe64

Reading through quickly, but totally identifying with your feelings, Arbor. This has been a long, hard fight for me, with a heavy drinking, but really nice guy, for a partner. We just hBe to decide what is best for us. Are we happy drinking to excess? Can we drink moderately? That means no more than one drink a day for a woman. I know that is not what I want, if I choose to drink. One is just aggravating. I always want more. But more is, at the very least, unhealthy, and to the extreme, deadly.

venuscat

I need to apologise for the dumb thing I said last week (this week?) about AA. I was in a bad mood. I was hurting over being thrown out like garbage by my best friend. So I was seeing negatives where there are none...

AA is wonderful. Really. You take what you want and leave the rest there. You will hear that quote a million times in the rooms.

You don't have to be spiritual or religious, you don't have to know that you are never going to drink again. All you need is an open mind.
You will find a group of people who have powerful stories and incredible experience in beating this thing. You will find friends who understand you. (Like we do). You will have face-to-face support, and possible even a sponsor you can call when the AV tells you ice cream is not going to cut it tonight...

I urge you to try it. Put away your reservations. It can be a wonderful addition to your support network.

venuscat

I never wanted to drink with no consequences. I didn't give a damn about the consequences. I just wanted to get drunk. Every time I picked up. Always.

Why am I saying this? Because I guess for me knowing this means there is no fantasy. No daydreaming that I could ever drink 'normally'. Now I have hope ~ and faith that my life will continue to improve. Yes, sometimes I have a fight with my AV...that's OK. It will get better with time.

I feel blessed to have escaped too, as Leigh said. It is an absolute miracle.
I am watching my older sister who has everything a person could ever want on the planet lose her health to this disease. It is hard to watch. Just as it was hard for my parents and sisters to see me go down the drain with the Chardonnay for so very long.

This disease gets worse. Really. If we are blessed to be able to halt it in its tracks, well fantastic. That is something to be truly joyous about.

Briar

I echo and thank you guys for all the wisdom here. It's amazing how hard this battle can be, and we fight against ourselves. Lately it's truly been one day at a time for me, hoping I'll get to where I don't feel like I have to cut deals with myself to get another sober day under my belt. Just trying to accept where I am in the process.

And Arbor - there's no shame here. If there were, I'd be quite unwelcome after broadcasting my two months of drunken madness. It's true that we all learn from each other's journeys, and I'm grateful for every tidbit of wisdom and experience I find here.

venuscat

I'm grateful too. For all of you, every day.

BrighterDayz

I think back to when I quit smoking five years ago-for the first year-the only thing that stood between me and smoking was a pack of cigarettes. Now, the idea is not appealing in any way. I am so glad I lost that ball and chain.

Now, I'd really like to lose another......

Arbor

Morning guys. Some great support here.

My thoughts for the morning after reading all of this is that I guess I have a hard time telling the difference whether my life is better sober or not. I mean I had almost nine months. Surely that's enough time to tell the difference. My life has actually been very good to me. It wasn't until the last few years that I noticed something was going on. Really until I had my first child. Hangovers had changed dramatically. Big part of it I believe is age (getting old!). Anyway, that's what I recognize as a big hurdle. If one has a hard time noticing the befits why would one continue? Which explains the slips along the way...

Or maybe I'm just a bit too negative of a person...hmmm...

Anyways I'm planning on staying sober to figure things out more. I need to be healthy for my family. Have a great day team!

venuscat

The thing is Arbor, if you are an alcoholic, like me, it gets worse over time.
Sure, we get older. But that's not all there is to it.
This disease gets worse, does more damage. So we feel it more. Notice the consequences more.

As far as I'm concerned, if you (and I) are mentally healthy enough to see these consequences and be able to put a stop to this, then great. Lots of people don't have that choice. The drinking takes over, it takes all.

Analysis is fine, and I appreciate it has its place.
But you are not a negative person, not at all.
Drinking affects us love, it altars our thought processes.
Give it a bit of time...get clear...try something different...trust that it will all be alright.

I have faith that it will be.

Arbor

I believe you V. I really do. I can't imagine drinking 10 years from now and what it would be like. It's not getting better. You don't relearn how to drink like a normal person because I never drank like a normal person to begin with.

Conquest

Good deal, Arbor!
And great example, BD.

Enjoy your Saturdays everyone! I've got a cake to bake for a birthday party tomorrow. Other than that, I'm a free bird. Woohoo!