venuscat

Of course. Always. ♥

Briar

Thanks Dee. I figured you were busy elsewhere. I just really want people to keep talking and sharing the awesome things they have going on. I don't want to be a distraction.

SoberLeigh

You are never, ever a distraction, Briar. You are an integral part of the Octsobers and SR.

While we share our lives here, we are here first and foremost to support one another as we deal with our struggles.

Mark1014

I guess I missed that about your brother Conquest....that's nice. My sister and I don't talk about the process too much, but there's definitely an undercurrent of support from her. Neat perspective on Briar's mom. I hadn't thought of that.

I hope this is a better day for you Briar.

venuscat

Good morning ♥

phoebe64

Good morning, V!

Briar, I think this is a very appropriate place to tell about your feelings, good, bad and ugly. Isn't that what we should do to get support and prevent relapses? This is the place for it. And even if your sobriety is strong, I think many of us relate to emotional struggles. I hope it was a better day.

Been busy. Working on planning a short trip to Chicago to visit with a friend! Sort of a spontaneous thing, but I owe her a visit. She came this way a couple of years ago. Then, we took our daughter to get a new bike. Really, her first new one other than the Barbie bike she got at age 5. So, she deserved it and it is an early bday gift. She is thrilled.

I need to get ready for our trip next week. We head down to NY on Wed. Laundry to do, and the usual house work this weekend.

venuscat

Your planned trip sounds lovely phoebe, and so does the new bike for your daughter!

phoebe64

Nice thing is this friend is a non drinker. Not alcoholic, but just doesn't drink. Imagine that!?

venuscat

I'm quiet today...I am not well. Nothing I want to get into here, and it will pass. But it's really not fun. A pretty bad day for me.

Briar

I'm sorry to hear that, V. I hope you're okay.

Briar

Phoebe - I bet your daughter is so happy with her new bike. That's a big deal for a kid.

Conquest - my mom doesn't know much about my drinking problem. I keep her in the dark about the extent of my issues because I don't want to upset her. She doesn't know I took that time off work earlier this year, and she doesn't know I've been in treatment. I've only told her that I don't drink anymore because it wasn't good for me mentally. So it's possible that she's trying to connect with me, I don't know.

Thank you Mark and Leigh.

Conquest

Good morning everybody!

It's been a whirlwind weekend and I've made it. Phew! I'm looking forward to seeing the kids from camp sing at church, eating greasy Chinese food for lunch with my mom and friends, and having a good nap. Yep...Already thinking about the nap and I haven't even started the coffee yet.
I hope those that are struggling physically or emotionally will find some peace and relief today. There'll be a special prayer lifted up for each of you.
All of these awesome vacations and vacation plans are making me realize that I haven't "gotten away" in a very long time. My wheels are spinning... a night or two at the beach would hit the spot...
Enjoy your Sundays, friends!

Arbor

Sorry you've had a bad day V. But your right. Things pass. What's that great quote from Leigh? "The difference between a good day and a bad day is approximately two days."

We bought a new refrigerator. Our old one went. I had to install the water line yesterday for the ice maker. Boy, what a project. Tapping into a copper pipe to run a smaller copper line up through the basement into the kitchen proved to be the challenge. Worked out though! Saved us some good coin not hiring a plumber. For anyone needing to do this the kits are widely available at places like Home Depot for $20.

Hot start to the day here. Supposed to be over 90 today. Most of the week actually. Have a great day everyone.

Mark1014

Happy Sunday gang.

V, I hope the bad day you're having will give way to a good night's rest.

Conquest, I'm sure your nap is well deserved after your week with camp. I could never be a teacher of little ones. I really enjoy them one on one, but the whole group thing...,yikes. And a couple of days away sounds like a good reward for your efforts. I don't do much in the way of hobbies like golf, hunting etc., mostly just work. So having a little getaway to look forward to is something that helps me get through.

Wishing all the best day.

Conquest

Nice work, Arbor! You're right. There's no telling what a plumber would charge to do that. Good on you for getting it knocked out.

Mark, How's the trip wrapping up? I hope you've got pics to share.

And it's decided. A quick trip to Galveston is in the works already. Even if it's just a day trip. I need some salt air in my hair and sand between my toes.
Getting a pass port is on my summer "to do" list as well. Would yall believe that I haven't been out of the Texas/Louisiana area in over ten years?! Tisk tisk
Gotta get running now...

phoebe64

We have not left the country since having kids, Conquest. Husband has a time or two for work. Glad you are going to get to the beach! This Chicago trip was somewhat impulsive. I booked a flight yesterday and got a good rate. However, I now see accommodations are pricey. But, I am committed no with a flight! Early Christmas for me, I suppose. Next week's 5 days on Shelter Island are free. Cousins home. We are at a hotel for two nights, though, before that. But our two summer trips have been relatively cheap. Lucky there.

Sorry you are not doing well, V. I hope you feel better after a good sleep.

Hope you are doing better, Briar.

About to walk then do a Costco run.

SoberLeigh

(((((Our dear sweet, venuscat)))).

Briar

I hope you're feeling better, V.

Arbor - my brother's a plumber, so we usually get him to do stuff for half the price and some barbecued tri-tip. Good job doing all that yourself, I wouldn't even consider attempting that myself, nor allowing my husband to do so. He is an excellent accountant, not a handyman.

You guys have quite a bit of traveling going on. I'm glad you are enjoying all that. Myself personally, I'm not even amenable to going to the park right now, so a trip is not on my list at the moment. The last time we went anywhere was kind of a bad experience anyway. I've probably told you this story before. We went to Monterey for the weekend with another couple and stayed at a bed and breakfast with a very odd family. That was awkward enough, but the place was strictly dry, and I was "sober" but secretly drinking heavily, so I hid several water bottles filled with vodka in the lining of my suitcase. I spent the whole weekend trying to maintain exactly the right level of alcohol in my system to avoid withdrawal but not get noticeably drunk. And meanwhile "have a good time." It was not a good time. Before we left on the last day, I accidentally left the lid of my bottle loose, and the perfectly portioned very last of my vodka spilled in my bag and was lost. While my family was perusing a farmers' market, I snuck into a nearby wine bar and made quite an ass of myself demanding "two glasses of your house white, now!" and pounding them like they were water. That was just enough to get me home. But for that wine bar, I would absolutely have drank my husband's mouthwash. No question about it. That's desperation. That whole trip sort of soured my view of travel in general, even though I know it would be different sober.

It's hot here, mid-90s right now. Not bad in the house, though. It cools down at night, so we keep the windows open until morning, then we close the place up during the day and run the fans. It stays pretty comfortable.

I'm feeling a bit better today, able to think a little more clearly. I feel emotionally numb, which is better than feeling terrible. It will do.

Best to everybody.

Briar

To be honest, I am obsessing over having a drink right now. It's going through my head over and over.

It would be so easy to get. It would make me feel better for a little while. Nearly five months of sobriety, and its promises are not delivered. I don't care about the long-term consequences. It wasn't that bad. I know how to quit again. No one has to know. It's no big deal. I just want to feel better.

Thinking of a drink sparks a little jolt of hope and pleasure. Feeling otherwise emotionless and dead makes it hard to fear the consequences.

I think I'm okay, but that's what's on my crazy mind today.

Dee74

Don't make big decisions on the way you feel now briar.

I would challenge that actually. I know you feel pretty cruddy right now, but you've felt pretty darn good too.

I hope you'll call your dr/therapist on Monday

D