CaseyW

You may be slightly confusing him with TENtx who is off trying that Moderation Management stuff. AGAG has always said from day 1 that 90 days was his immediate goal and then he'd figure out what other goals he might set after that.

Here's a quote from his second to last post on June 29 (http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/... that 90 days:

And now I also see in that same post that he was going on a 4-day camping/rafting/biking trip this weekend, so that would probably explain his not being around.

Cissy -- totally understand if you can't do the group thing. Like I said, it was just a thought. You seem to be in a better place the last few days--keep on keeping on.

And, honestly, any upset I have about people disappearing here, etc., is probably at least 75% rooted in selfish/self-centered thoughts. While I worry about those who disappear for their own sake, I also worry about myself not having a good support group around me. Plus there's the whole issue of my lack of control of others, etc. It's something I'm just trying to recognize in myself and work on. Doesn't mean that if I write you saying, "Hey, I've missed you on the May class thread" that I don't mean it, because I do.

Long story short about the news from last night--found out my (sorta former as I've been more or less distancing myself from her the last couple of years) best friend and the love of my life finally left her piece of **** husband last month.

I don't need to be around her. She's one of the big reasons I cut myself off all social media in my first or second week of sobriety this time. There's a whole lot of back story that I don't need or want to go into here, but suffice it to say that the feelings between us are very mutual. But I also know the two of us together would be a horribly unhealthy situation for me (and her). I will always love her but do not need to be anywhere near her right now. Or maybe ever. Probably ever.

CaseyW

Oh, I know people disappear from there all the time. Heck, I've been one of those people many many times. But there's something settling and nice about there always being someone there on a regular daily basis at a set time no matter what. Even if the faces change, the atmosphere of recovery doesn't.

AllieKat

Wow you guys are busy today. I've been at work all day. Blah! I'm ready to go home.

Congrats nmd! When's the big day?

Sag, I feel your pain. I'm mad I did it too. I'm sure we both learned something from it.

Casey, has your toaster been delivered yet?

:-)

nmd

Thanks alliekat, No date set yet, probably next year sometime in august


Casey, oops your right, sorry about the agag mixup

Dee74

I'm glad you came back Sagittarius

Congrats on your engagement NMD and congrats again Casey on your 60 days

D

CaseyW

Ending day 60 now. Been a good day. Glad I started it off with that meeting at noon. It put me in the right frame of mind all day. The weather here got real creepy for a while at around five. I don't think there were actually any tornado warnings or even watches but I've been in tornadoes before and it sure looked like tornado weather to me. It was a very sudden change. Skies got dark. Wind started just howling in circles, coming from all direction. Thunder started booming. Thirty minutes later skies were clear again. Very weird.

Work was slow. That's to be expected on a Monday night after a holiday weekend in the middle of summer and with bad weather on top of all that. The tables I did have tipped well so I did OK enough for the night and I sure didn't break a sweat.

Grateful to be sober. Grateful I have some new awesome wireless earbuds coming tomorrow that will be great to use on my bike. Grateful for the roof over my head. Grateful for the pretty good episode of True Detective I watched earlier. Grateful that AA still exists even when I haven't been going routinely. Grateful for SR and all of you. Not grateful that I don't have any ice cream to snack on now. I don't want to get dressed and go to the store.

site1Q84

Congrats nmd! You sound very happy. I hope that now the anxiety is gone from popping the question maybe the drinking will be gone too

Sagittarius, I feel like going without for a while and drinking again just shows how much it really is poison. If you feel like that from only having a few, it can't be good, right? I'm glad you're learning and moving on. Definitely stay in here with us!

Cissy, sorry about the headache. I haven't had a bad one in a while but I used to get them a lot. Horrible things. I agree with Casey on the AA thing. I almost had a panic attack the first one I went to, but once I walked in I knew it was going to be fine, and honestly, facing that fear was a really big step and super helpful for me. I think it made me realize that I have some irrational fears that can be conquered. Just a thought Glad you're trying to go the healthy food route! it really makes me feel better, and is a much better way to spend money than drinking. Takes some getting used to, but when I'm traveling sometimes all I want is a nice, healthy home-cooked meal!

Sounds like you had a productive day, Casey! I'm looking forward to getting home and hitting my regular meetings. I'm doing fine, but I miss all the friends I've already made there. They do add something extra to recovery...

Off to work now. I'm working the next few days- I'm sure I'll pop in and say hi but in case I get busy again, have a good day everyone!

AGAGONNHOJ

Day 69 coming to an end, day 70 tomorrow.

Nowt to report, really - just working hard during the week, not tired all the time anymore, had a day off last Sat, during which time I drove up to Doi Mae Salong, and spent a day trekking in the mountains, a night drinking tea.

Struggled a tiny bit with AV, but managed to just stay sipping tea, though everyone around me was drinking whisky and beer (saw it coming, as I wasn't with my close-ish friends this time; was on my own hanging out with strangers in a [albeit very chilled out] different place).

Doi Mae Salong is easily my favorite place in the entire Chiang Rai province - stunningly beautiful, cultural, loads of mountain to explore & trek around.

Like I say, not much to report, just enjoying life here, still on the right track to wherever I end up next, just taking things at the present time, not thinking about either past or future.

Same as when I'm driving - when there's no past, no future, just my entire attention fixed on the present moment; the roads of mountainous North Thailand under me, the mountains and waterfalls around me, the sky which I kind of melt into over my head, Carter's engine thundering under me.

In that situation, I'm well happy.

Anyways, thats my update, just 3 weeks until I'm at my 90 day target.

Peace Out & Big Love to all - keep going at it, considering where I was at the beginning of this thread (the very first post on the Class of May Part One), it CAN be done

Anyways gotta sign off as got planning to do - innabit xxxx

nmd

Thanks site and dee! I don't want to use anxiety as an excuse, but I'll use the life change as another reason to stay sober.

Great hearing from you agag! My life is quite different having young kids. Roaming around a country like that sounds wonderful. Glad you are holding strong in staying sober and not tired

sagittarius714

Good morning all! Thank you for your support. Lesson learned!

I'm glad we are all together here as we try to figure out our paths, and manage them the best we can. We may take different routes, but our destinations are the same.

Sounds a little corny? I'm not awake yet.. lol

Hope you all have a great day!

CaseyW

Starting day 61 here. Going to a noon meeting in a bit here. Think I'm going to go eat some junky fast food first. It just sounds good to me and aside from a small scoop of ice cream once every two or three days, I've been eating pretty healthy lately. Might eat some Chick-Fil-A. Hate their politics but love their chicken sometimes.

Work again tonight. No other plans for the day.

site -- have a nice day at work. As always, thanks for checking in. It doesn't seem to be stressing you too bad but I have to imagine that traveling overseas in early recovery has its moments.

AGAG -- congrats on 69 days! While I'm planning on keeping going after that, day 70 is my immediate goal as 69 is the longest I've ever made it before. Well, not counting the first 24.5 years of my life when I didn't drink at all. Don't know if you read any of the posts from the last few days, but we've been missing you.

sagittarius -- Corny sayings and cliches usually have a lot of truth to them. Keep checking in please. Hope you're getting settled into your new place.

nmd -- glad you checked in.

Wishing everyone a safe and sober Tuesday. (Or Australian Saturday, as we like to call it.)

AllieKat

Hi guys! Just taking a quick break from work. Tuesdays are the busiest day for me and it is mentally exhausting. Today we are having birthday pizza for lunch!

Hope you all have a great day!

KaleGrrl

Hi, everyone. I had a bad June through July 5. But I'm back on track now. I'm glad the few of you who are still posting in May are doing well or at least hanging in there. Just wanted you to know I'm still around, brushing myself off and up again. I felt bad that Casey is wondering where the heck has everyone gone.

CaseyW

KaleGrrl -- don't feel bad on my behalf. I'm just glad you're back. There is a better way of life out there waiting for you. One day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time, just don't take that first drink no matter what. Your month out there proves that alcoholism doesn't go away. Take that knowledge and move forward.

Ginamarie323

Morning folks....starting day 57 and super groggy and tired this morning. Didn't sleep well at all. Just working at home today and have to go to FedEx later. Those are my big plans for the day. Trying to get caught up with work before my laptop dies for good. Have a good Tuesday and stay strong everyone.

KaleGrrl

Thanks, Casey and Ginamarie. I'm better prepared now, and truth be told, much more ready and determined now.

Cissy

Hey, Kale!! Good to see you. Will you stick around with us or did you choose a new month to call your home group? You're welcome to stay here if you want. We haven't all been perfect.

Agag, I loved your post! You painted such an enchanting picture of Thailand. It sounds an awful lot like what Heaven must be like. I'm glad you checked in with us, really glad you were able to stick with tea while those others were drinking beer and whatever, and that you are in a good head space right now. Never underestimate the power of momentum. Even when you reach your 90 day goal, please remember that.

Hugs to everyone reading this! Raining here and it's nice. I like when it rains, as long as I don't have to be out running around in it. So many places would give their right arm for a good, soaking rain and we are blessed in this part of the country with pretty reliable doses.

Casey, how frightening that must have been! I'm so glad it didn't turn into more. I was sort of laughing when you said "I've been in tornadoes before." My immediate reaction was, "Yeah? What's it like?" Tornadoes must be the worst weather phenomenon of them all. Hurricanes give you a warning that they're on the way and you can prepare. Tornadoes are so random and destructive. Almost like they are an entity.

Well, you know I suck at personals and always leave people out so apologies are in order. I decided to put the e-cig to rest. Last night I took it apart and drained all the oil from the reservoir and let it dry out (as much as possible) overnight. Today I texted my sister (who was probably sleeping cause she delivers papers with her car and has the most ungodly hours) and offered it to her.

I told her all about it, why I bought it, that it was too much like smoking and that I didn't want to throw it out. I told her that I'd be happy to buy her a bottle of the menthol liquid but all I need to know is what mg of nicotine are in her current cigarettes. I literally prayed that she would say yes cause she's so cautious about everything. I won't go into it but it's an anxiety thing.

Anyway, I don't like the mild sore throat I get with the vapor and I think it sort of scalds my tongue and is affecting my ability to taste things. I think the nicotine itself was killing my appetite, which was great. However, I overate anyway, cause that's what I do when the wrong foods are in the house. So the only solution is to not have stuff in the house and I don't need to vape to make that happen.

Experiment concluded, verdict is in. No harm, no foul and maybe something incredibly good will come out of this if my sister will agree to accept this gift and see if it might be something she can enjoy. I hope and pray that she will.

Sun just came out. We got a really good rain before that so everything out there is singing for joy. Maybe now my dog will go out and do her morning potty stuff. She refused to go after I fed her breakfast. Little girl can only hold it for so long.

Have an awesome sober Tuesday/Tuesnight.

Cissy

I want to add something about the e-cig. I found that I was using it much the same way I would use pot if I had some. Even when I wasn't particularly in the mood, I'd grab it, turn it on and start puffing. Just because it was there! Just like any other thing I abuse, like booze, chewing gum or food. Just because it's there.

My problem isn't necessarily alcohol, it is literally with everything of that nature. I have no internal switch that says I've had enough, or that thing others must have that says that something is available but I don't feel like having any right now. What is that? Anyone else think they have this sort of issue?

4thekidz

Casey, we do have the same date but I guess I figured I need to get thru yesterday, which I barely did.

I am now a three-time graduate of day 60.

If it takes some Paxil and a few xanax to get thru PAWS, so be it.

Nice to see everyone's posts and have a great day!

4

KaleGrrl

Hey Cissy and 4thekidz, great to see you doing so well! I just stop by here from time to time to say how awesome y'all are here in May.