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Class of April 2014 Part 22

Old 07-31-2015, 11:44 PM
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The sky was clear last night, so I saw the full moon. It's a beautiful sight, something I take for granted too often!

I'm meeting up with a friend for lunch today, and hopefully will have some time to browse around the book shop to find some holiday reading material.

Hope everyone has a great start to the weekend.
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Old 08-01-2015, 10:51 PM
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Sunday morning, having a quiet breakfast before driving to my parents. I'm a bit tired, so it's a slow start this morning. I could never have kept this up if I had still been drinking. Feeling grateful for my sobriety at the moment.
I did have a lovely time yesterday with a friend, we had lunch, then she helped me choose a dress to buy. It's much more fun clothes shopping with a friend.
Hope everyone's having a great sober weekend.
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Old 08-02-2015, 11:53 AM
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Well, it's been a so so weekend so far. As much as I don't like it, I have to accept the bad with the good. I have to work at focusing on the good things when they happen and letting go of the the bad. There is nothing I can do to change things that are out of my control so it makes no sense to fret over them. As for any bad things that happen that I could have affected I need to learn from so that I don't make the same choice in the future.
I guess that I also need to be more reliant on myself, trying to get comfort from someone else when they are not around doesn't help but I'm always around.

Have to keep moving forward no matter what, even if it is a journey that I have to take alone even though I want to share it with another.

Have a great weekend.
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Old 08-02-2015, 11:34 PM
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That sounds like good pep talk, UP. I agree, we can't expect others to fulfil us, that has to come from ourselves. I'm reading "awareness" by Anthony De Mello at the moment, and he touches on this quite a lot. Being aware of, and observing, our thoughts, feelings, and so called needs, is the first step to liberation.

Twice daily meditation is helping me to heighten my awareness. I've been practicing regularly since my retreat, and I can see some changes in my thought patterns, and my responses to difficult situations already.

Do you have a spiritual practice, yourself, UP?

It's the start of another sober week here. Hope everyone's on track for a good week ahead.
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Old 08-03-2015, 12:34 AM
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My wife read all my posts.
i cant believe it.
i feel sick
Said she wanted to know the truth....

We're fighting....
I went out last night and drank beer till i was drunk
Back to square 1.
Day 1.

I can't help but think it all changed when i had those pints over a week ago.

Im really upset.

Stay tuned......
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Old 08-03-2015, 12:47 AM
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I'm sorry Obo.

I don't know else what to say except it's time to put your recovery first again, mate.

Everything else flows from that.

If you want to change your user name here or something, let Anna or me know.

D
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Old 08-03-2015, 01:26 AM
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I wasn't really talking about needing someone to fulfill myself, it was more about having someone to talk it out with and maybe have them reassure me that things will be alright.

I don't really have a spiritual practice other than praying to God, asking for his guidance and trying to be attentive enough to hear and understand his response.

I'm sorry to hear about the troubles obo. I have to agree with Dee, you need to put your recovery first. If you need to talk, or vent, just pm me.

Why is it you can be tired until you get into bed then be wide awake.

Have a great day everyone.
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Old 08-03-2015, 01:32 AM
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I think you're on the right track UP - it may seen a little lonely right now but it won't always be this way.

D
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Old 08-03-2015, 01:44 AM
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Thanks Dee
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Old 08-03-2015, 11:14 AM
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Sorry UP, I see what you mean now! Things will change at some point, I hope sooner rather than later for you.

Obo, I'm not sure what to say, other than stay sober! The situation doesn't have to get any worse, this could be the point at which it starts to improve again. You'll be back on track soon if you get a few sober days behind you. Don't forget how far you've come, that sobriety run is still there.

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Old 08-03-2015, 01:53 PM
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I'm glad you are here Obo......Know you are not alone, I am with you in day 1 today. I was thinking this week-end how easily I could continue on with this & before I know it, months & years will go by, only to have more regrets & missed opportunities............I know, that is ALL that alcohol will do for me. My plan for today is to not drink or smoke & take it easy....the camp out/raft trip was a lot of work, as my Sister & I hosted..........a lot of cooking & packing everything out there & back, but our guests had a great time on the river & I was glad for that. I shot the rapids myself yesterday in a tahitti for the first time this summer & was a good time.

I AM re-committing to my sobriety today.......I am going to take this one day at a time.....get a "foot hold", be kind to myself & start taking some action with a job search. Love you you Fools!
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Old 08-03-2015, 04:24 PM
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Good to hear that Mariah

D

Last edited by Dee74; 08-03-2015 at 10:50 PM.
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Old 08-03-2015, 10:22 PM
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Drawn up new 28 day check sheet for the wall.
Obo is officially back in recovery.

No words of wisdom here.

Wife and i are ok.
She didn't read it all........
Broke trust though....
Who am i to point fingers....

I hope all the fools are ok
im on i thingy....

Ill share more once ive scraped myself off the floor....
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Old 08-03-2015, 10:54 PM
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That's good to hear Obo, glad things have calmed down now so that you can focus on your recovery. The wall chart sounds a great plan.

You too Mariah, you're back on track for a sober future. I love hearing about your river exploits, glad it went well. Hope you hear about some job opportunities soon.

I'm working from home today, I always get so much more done when there's no distractions. Plus I can have a cup of tea when ever I feel like it!

Have a great day all.
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Old 08-03-2015, 11:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I think you're on the right track UP - it may seen a little lonely right now but it won't always be this way.

D
You may be wrong about that Dee.

I've come to realize that that is my destiny. Things could be worse, I can't picture how but
C'est la vie
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Old 08-04-2015, 12:10 AM
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It's good to hear that you both are back on track obo and Mariah. You have to find the best path for you on this journey.

Have a great day.
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Old 08-04-2015, 08:42 AM
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I'm glad to see you post this am Obo & that you are back on track for a sober life. Thank You, Dee, Freein & Up for your support & encouragement.

I'm hoping that things get better for you UP & wishing you good things for the future.

I have been spinning my wheels the last couple of months........living in the past & worrying about the future, not relying on God to guide & direct me & giving over my fears & worry to him. Back to some basics for me & just staying present & taking some action a day at a time.....remembering that as long as I lay my head down tonight without having smoked or drank, is a good day. Off to do the dishes, make my bed, & get a few resumes out today. Have a good day peeps.
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Old 08-04-2015, 08:59 AM
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Mariah, you're sounding so proactive. The chances are that you'll land a decent job soon. My fingers are crossed for you.

UP, there must be something you could change, or do differently to get out of this rut. Perhaps getting some therapists help (I know you're not keen, but maybe it would help to turn things around for you). Just a thought. Whatever you decide to do, I hope things improve for you soon.

I've been staring at a computer screen all day, and my head feels like it's full of cotton wool. Time to do a bit of gentle weeding in the garden before dinner (there's not much in the fridge, so it'll probably be beans on toast tonight).

I do need to start planning our meals a bit better.
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Old 08-04-2015, 08:10 PM
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I don't think seeing a therapist will help.

The rut I'm in isn't in my head, it's anchored in real life. I've been trying to trust God and do things the way he would want and things keep getting worse.
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Old 08-04-2015, 08:19 PM
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Up i think i need to see a therapist to address my anger....
just to bounce my issues around.
ill give it 6 or so sessions...
now i need to find the right one.

I hear you though....

Axl rose once wrote you dont need a doctor no one else can hear your soul...

3
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