Class of April 2014 Part 22
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
ST, you seem to be able to manage these troughs incredibly well. You're an inspiration. It's good to hear you're on the up again.
It's a quiet day for me today, just pottering around the house and garden, catching up on a few chores. Tomorrow I'll be visiting my parents, see what mischief they've been up to while I've been away
I was a bit premature with yesterday's happy 4th declaration, I was obviously a bit confused. Anyway, hope you all have a happy 4th today!
UP, what are you up to this weekend?
It's a quiet day for me today, just pottering around the house and garden, catching up on a few chores. Tomorrow I'll be visiting my parents, see what mischief they've been up to while I've been away
I was a bit premature with yesterday's happy 4th declaration, I was obviously a bit confused. Anyway, hope you all have a happy 4th today!
UP, what are you up to this weekend?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 361
Don't worry UP, I won't be getting off the meds without a doctor's help. I'm going to stay on my current regiment until I can find someone to do regular follow up with. It's a shame they've gotten rid of psychiatric services at the university. I think it really highlights the prejudice against mental health. It's always something that can be cut. Glad you're following up with your doctor too and I do hope you can get your dental surgery figured out.
Mariah! I was really scared for me too. I was falling apart and so afraid of sitting with myself for fear of what I'd find. I agree that sobriety is the most important accomplishment. It's the only thing that's allowed me to become more resilient in other areas of my life. Do keep on fighting. I was reading an article about therapy the other day and it had a good metaphor about the recovery process. They described it as annealing (like in glass blowing): you get heated up until everything is in flux and then you reach a stress relief point where the glass is able to start cooling down and reach a new and more stable shape. In the early days I definitely felt like I was bouncing between extremes in a way that almost felt worse than when I was drinking. But the end result has been this new more stable self. And I know there's a way for you to find that relief!
free! obo! adna! hope you're all having a good weekend. glad there was a fireworks ban adna. A quiet day sounds lovely free.
ST I'm sad to hear things are dark and stormy. I agree that self care is the most important thing. You're ultimately in control of helping yourself to feel well.
My 4th of July weekend is pretty low key. Certainly in for the bargain!
Mariah! I was really scared for me too. I was falling apart and so afraid of sitting with myself for fear of what I'd find. I agree that sobriety is the most important accomplishment. It's the only thing that's allowed me to become more resilient in other areas of my life. Do keep on fighting. I was reading an article about therapy the other day and it had a good metaphor about the recovery process. They described it as annealing (like in glass blowing): you get heated up until everything is in flux and then you reach a stress relief point where the glass is able to start cooling down and reach a new and more stable shape. In the early days I definitely felt like I was bouncing between extremes in a way that almost felt worse than when I was drinking. But the end result has been this new more stable self. And I know there's a way for you to find that relief!
free! obo! adna! hope you're all having a good weekend. glad there was a fireworks ban adna. A quiet day sounds lovely free.
ST I'm sad to hear things are dark and stormy. I agree that self care is the most important thing. You're ultimately in control of helping yourself to feel well.
My 4th of July weekend is pretty low key. Certainly in for the bargain!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Happy 4th y'all! Thanks Freen- I'm trying to
I worked all 4th of July for the first time in my life and it sucked lol...13 hours none the less...I'm not too depressed I missed out on the celebrations cause it's an extremely drunken holiday, even more in this bar/beach community I live in...I bought home some decent cash and stashed it away and now I'm watching the fireworks from my window, really nice view of the bay I actually don't have to go anywhere! Didn't really think about the 4th of July when I was moving in, it's a pleasent suprize!!! I have more to post my fiancé keeps calling me and I don't want to loose the post...more in a moment
I worked all 4th of July for the first time in my life and it sucked lol...13 hours none the less...I'm not too depressed I missed out on the celebrations cause it's an extremely drunken holiday, even more in this bar/beach community I live in...I bought home some decent cash and stashed it away and now I'm watching the fireworks from my window, really nice view of the bay I actually don't have to go anywhere! Didn't really think about the 4th of July when I was moving in, it's a pleasent suprize!!! I have more to post my fiancé keeps calling me and I don't want to loose the post...more in a moment
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 684
Rocks, I think it's wise to continue with the meds you are on until you find a new Dr. It seems terribly irresponsible of your university to have done away with psyche services. If you liked the person you were seeing through them, you might be able to see him/her as a private patient.
Freein, I hope you have a good visit with your parents today. I'm sure your attentiveness really means a lot to them.
Mariah, I hope you had a wonderful time camping this weekend, and that it felt good to escape the heat.
Solitary, I'm glad things are starting to look up again, and even more so that you now recognize that your lows are temporary. You have come so very far over the last year or so.
Obo, I don't know what Pommy means, but I hope you have fun with your relatives, convict jokes and cultural slurs aside. I bet they are thrilled at the prospect of meeting Anna.
Up, how's your weekend going? I hope you got to enjoy some fireworks last night.
Hi to Dee and Soberwolf, and to anyone else who reads this.
I'm happy to report that my town did not burn to the ground last night, the fireworks ban was successful, the licensed professional displays still took place, and people still had fun.
We had a 4.2 earthquake yesterday morning while I was setting up my booth at the market. I didn't notice it, my booth always shakes while I'm setting up, but everyone I talked to who was indoors when it happened felt it. I had a pretty successful day down there, but the best part was seeing someone wearing a piece I made almost 30 years ago. I like the thought of my work standing up to time, and it feels really good to see examples of it.
After I got home I turned on the pay per view broadcast of the second to last Grateful Dead show ever, and was feeling nostalgic and kind of sad watching it. It was really bumming me out that I couldn't pull off going to Chicago for the shows, and that they mark the end of something that was so pivotal in my life. I was thinking about how this ending felt like the final nail in the coffin of my youth when a friend called to see if I wanted to go out to the site of the hippie fair I'm involved with to see the broadcast in one of the barns out there, so we went. It was so much fun that I'm going back tonight for the final show. Getting to see it in a barn in the woods with lots of space to dance now seems far better than seeing it in a stadium with 80,000 people in assigned seats in the middle of a massive city. i've never liked shows with assigned seats, and I so dislike massive stadium shows that I stopped going to the really huge ones in 86, so I no longer feel like I'm missing out at all, and I seem to have gotten over mourning my youth.
Have a good day everyone.
Freein, I hope you have a good visit with your parents today. I'm sure your attentiveness really means a lot to them.
Mariah, I hope you had a wonderful time camping this weekend, and that it felt good to escape the heat.
Solitary, I'm glad things are starting to look up again, and even more so that you now recognize that your lows are temporary. You have come so very far over the last year or so.
Obo, I don't know what Pommy means, but I hope you have fun with your relatives, convict jokes and cultural slurs aside. I bet they are thrilled at the prospect of meeting Anna.
Up, how's your weekend going? I hope you got to enjoy some fireworks last night.
Hi to Dee and Soberwolf, and to anyone else who reads this.
I'm happy to report that my town did not burn to the ground last night, the fireworks ban was successful, the licensed professional displays still took place, and people still had fun.
We had a 4.2 earthquake yesterday morning while I was setting up my booth at the market. I didn't notice it, my booth always shakes while I'm setting up, but everyone I talked to who was indoors when it happened felt it. I had a pretty successful day down there, but the best part was seeing someone wearing a piece I made almost 30 years ago. I like the thought of my work standing up to time, and it feels really good to see examples of it.
After I got home I turned on the pay per view broadcast of the second to last Grateful Dead show ever, and was feeling nostalgic and kind of sad watching it. It was really bumming me out that I couldn't pull off going to Chicago for the shows, and that they mark the end of something that was so pivotal in my life. I was thinking about how this ending felt like the final nail in the coffin of my youth when a friend called to see if I wanted to go out to the site of the hippie fair I'm involved with to see the broadcast in one of the barns out there, so we went. It was so much fun that I'm going back tonight for the final show. Getting to see it in a barn in the woods with lots of space to dance now seems far better than seeing it in a stadium with 80,000 people in assigned seats in the middle of a massive city. i've never liked shows with assigned seats, and I so dislike massive stadium shows that I stopped going to the really huge ones in 86, so I no longer feel like I'm missing out at all, and I seem to have gotten over mourning my youth.
Have a good day everyone.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Adna!!! That's amazing and bittersweet at the same time...I can't help but feel bad that something you were a part of is coming to an end...thankfully music is eternal and dosent go away...the dead will never die 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,315
Afternoon Fools,
12.40,
at the desk,
4 days to go......
First year of the contract almost done.
What a year...?
baby Anna, knee sugery................
SOBER.....
Adna: couldn't agree more......... stadium gigs are no good, sitting down corporate sell out gigs where you are sitting next to an accountant who sings all the songs incorrectly and out of tune..
You've got to catch a good band early in their career these days, at a club or pub before the sell out commercial hook destroys them...
Losing stamina on the sobriety front....... thinking constantly about having a beer here or there. It's a feeling from inside that things have changed, that I'm different now, that I want to be able to drink again one day!
But I'm still here on the wagon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope you are all well and happy out there......
stay tuned.............................
12.40,
at the desk,
4 days to go......
First year of the contract almost done.
What a year...?
baby Anna, knee sugery................
SOBER.....
Adna: couldn't agree more......... stadium gigs are no good, sitting down corporate sell out gigs where you are sitting next to an accountant who sings all the songs incorrectly and out of tune..
You've got to catch a good band early in their career these days, at a club or pub before the sell out commercial hook destroys them...
Losing stamina on the sobriety front....... thinking constantly about having a beer here or there. It's a feeling from inside that things have changed, that I'm different now, that I want to be able to drink again one day!
But I'm still here on the wagon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hope you are all well and happy out there......
stay tuned.............................
Hillbilly Girl
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: In my Garden
Posts: 3,953
Keep at it & embrace your sober life Obo....I've done enough experimenting to tell you, you are not missing a darn thing.
Sober, good weekend for me with teen Son at the coast...What a great kid, couldn't be prouder!
What great way you are handling things ST....couldn't be prouder of you too!!
Up...what's up? Missing you here.
Sober, good weekend for me with teen Son at the coast...What a great kid, couldn't be prouder!
What great way you are handling things ST....couldn't be prouder of you too!!
Up...what's up? Missing you here.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Glad you had a lovely weekend Mariah, spending that time with your son sounds special. You do get up to some nice things!
Obo, I wonder what's triggering these thoughts. Could it be the trip to England? The cricket season? Is there anything else going on?
Sometimes I need to remind myself that I've tried the drinking life, I decided that it was destructive, so now I choose to live a sober life. I think the "I choose to" bit is important, and worth reminding ourselves of.
I hope your gremlin gets the hint and moves on, Obo.
Adna, that must be so satisfying, to see someone wearing your creations, and after so many years too, wow, you're obviously a fashion visionary!
ST, I didn't know you're a drummer too, is there no end to your talents?
Hope everyone has a great start to the week.
Obo, I wonder what's triggering these thoughts. Could it be the trip to England? The cricket season? Is there anything else going on?
Sometimes I need to remind myself that I've tried the drinking life, I decided that it was destructive, so now I choose to live a sober life. I think the "I choose to" bit is important, and worth reminding ourselves of.
I hope your gremlin gets the hint and moves on, Obo.
Adna, that must be so satisfying, to see someone wearing your creations, and after so many years too, wow, you're obviously a fashion visionary!
ST, I didn't know you're a drummer too, is there no end to your talents?
Hope everyone has a great start to the week.
Formerly ScrewdUpInDe
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: In the Nightmare in my head
Posts: 5,329
Hey fools
Hope you all had a good weekend.
I think I might be getting sick but other than that I had an ok weekend.
Don't listen to that voice obo. I've had that voice trying to tell me the same thing before, chose not to listen or believe it. As free said, might want to try and figure out what is triggering those thoughts.
Hope you all had a good weekend.
I think I might be getting sick but other than that I had an ok weekend.
Don't listen to that voice obo. I've had that voice trying to tell me the same thing before, chose not to listen or believe it. As free said, might want to try and figure out what is triggering those thoughts.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
It's a feeling from inside that things have changed, that I'm different now, that I want to be able to drink again one day!
Our lives are good because we cut out alcohol - not because we somehow regained control or reset ourselves to become normal drinkers.
If you drink again you'll find, like I did, that nothing changes mate.
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,315
Mariah, Up, Dee and Freein: Thank you for your words....
A (true) story....
We have neighbors who live below us. She's 40, english a teacher, just your average expat teacher. He is Spanish, 40 something and a chef. They are pretty good people, well he is especially.
Last night I was out on the balcony having a smoke and he was outside below me. He had bandages on his head and face, so I asked him if he had been in a fight... He looked up and then she came out, with her thumb bandaged and her arm as well. It didn't look good!
They had gone and got pissed and then got into it with eachother.
They are having issues.
Visa's, money, IVF, etc......
Without the booze this would not have happened I reckon. So over the past few days I've been thinking I'm better, that all is well and that I can have a beer again... ( a beer he says)....
Dropped off all discipline...... and it nearly cost me.....
All it would take is one bad night and I'm back to square one.....
I'm not a violent person, but verbally can have a good go...!!
What a shame it would be to ruin everything that's been built over 14 months in a night.
OBO MUST KEEP HIS EYE ON THE BALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know what will happen with them, but I have spoken with her about drinking and the problems it brings even if you don't think they're related...
stay tuned........................
A (true) story....
We have neighbors who live below us. She's 40, english a teacher, just your average expat teacher. He is Spanish, 40 something and a chef. They are pretty good people, well he is especially.
Last night I was out on the balcony having a smoke and he was outside below me. He had bandages on his head and face, so I asked him if he had been in a fight... He looked up and then she came out, with her thumb bandaged and her arm as well. It didn't look good!
They had gone and got pissed and then got into it with eachother.
They are having issues.
Visa's, money, IVF, etc......
Without the booze this would not have happened I reckon. So over the past few days I've been thinking I'm better, that all is well and that I can have a beer again... ( a beer he says)....
Dropped off all discipline...... and it nearly cost me.....
All it would take is one bad night and I'm back to square one.....
I'm not a violent person, but verbally can have a good go...!!
What a shame it would be to ruin everything that's been built over 14 months in a night.
OBO MUST KEEP HIS EYE ON THE BALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know what will happen with them, but I have spoken with her about drinking and the problems it brings even if you don't think they're related...
stay tuned........................
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Thanks for that story Obo. More and more I'm thinking that I would never again want to give my hard earned money to an industry which produces an addictive drug which causes so much pain for humanity.
I'm sure some drinkers would say "yes, but look at the "pleasure" it gives people". (I include my past self in this). How have we been conned in to thinking that dulling our brains, the most amazing and advanced thing on the planet, could possibly be pleasurable?
I'm so sorry to hear about that couple. Alcohol destroys so many good things.
Obo, I hope your trip to England goes well. Will this be Anna's first ever flight?
I'm sure some drinkers would say "yes, but look at the "pleasure" it gives people". (I include my past self in this). How have we been conned in to thinking that dulling our brains, the most amazing and advanced thing on the planet, could possibly be pleasurable?
I'm so sorry to hear about that couple. Alcohol destroys so many good things.
Obo, I hope your trip to England goes well. Will this be Anna's first ever flight?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Long Beach, NY
Posts: 2,317
Hey all, interesting story obo... I've been really struggling with life still for various aspects, and I've come to a conclusion as to what my next step is going to be in this journey...I have still been smoking weed as a crutch to deal with all of this, and in reality it's just a less intrusive form of booze for me...everyone is telling me that THC agitates bi polar symptoms, even worse then booze at times (panic attacks, paranoia, etc) So..I'm taking the first step in quitting this habit as well...it's really hard because compared to everything else I took it's very tame and seems harmless, but it's really impacting my life negatively by this point (as well as my wallet) and I've had enough...I'm going to need a little bit of support on this because right now I feel like I'm abandoning my best friend...I know it's not the truth and thankfully I have enough reading under my belt to understand that that's an illusion created by my addictive side...this one isn't gonna be easy for me...I'm putting all my bongs and pipes in a cardboard box and putting them in a closet...if I stick with this and commit more then just a week or two I'm going to sell all of them an at least get a small amount of money back for the investment (they aren't cheep) I will also be able to get a better job if I can pass a drug test...so many things are pointing to me doing this...let's see how it goes
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 2,804
Oh, ST, that's fabulous news. I love the way you're taking action on each of these barriers. You're thinking so clearly about things. 
You know we'll support you wholeheartedly with this next step in your journey.
Hope everyone is having a good day today.
You know we'll support you wholeheartedly with this next step in your journey.
Hope everyone is having a good day today.
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