Class Of June 2015 Pt4
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 95
Originally Posted by CaseyW 
Congrats on the interview and good choice with the seltzer, YuriO. It's so stupid how persuasive our addiction can be--something good happens? Drink!! Something bad happens? Drink!! I'm angry? Drink!! I'm happy? Drink!!
Stick close to here tonight. You've got this.
Stick close to here tonight. You've got this.
You know, I check out a hockey message board for the Sabres, and since I quit drinking the conversations seem so stupid. Now that I'm doing something positive for myself being a fan of something so abstract from my own life seems wasteful and shallow. By way of contrast, the conversations here can be an actual matter of life and death. It's so much more important than the distractions I was putting myself through. How can I go back? Never.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 345
It's so great to see everyone really putting effort into life. 30 days for Nolan, 25 for Yuri, 2 weeks for Sulu, 20 for mebutmuchbetter, 16 for lastchance, a week for maximus and peacefulrain, and everyone else (sorry only went back a couple of pages).
Less than 10 minutes ago I was very seriously thinking about ......... I can't even write it down. I am on Day 30 today and I think I have the worst urge since I started. Why today? I'm in a good mood. I woke up thinking today is day 30! Yeah for me. I was pottering around in the garden and then BAM! It just hit me so strongly. I was thinking about all the horrible things that will happen if I drink and that it was not worth it but this demonish AV was so so close to convincing me. I was too scared to come inside. I actually individually scrubbed bricks to keep me busy!!!
I honestly have not felt this conflicted since I started. This is the problem with milestones. I was so excited to reach day 30, but I hadn't thought about day 31.
This is such an awful feeling. i feel like a little kid who wants to play in the deep end but is not allowed because it's too dangerous but doesn't care and just wants to dive right in. Arghh! The weirdest thing is that my family and friends won't really be disappointed and even on here I may get a that's too bad try again tomorrow. The only person that ACTUALLY cares whether I drink or not is me!!! And I do care if I drink. Very much. This past month has been an amazing testament to my strength. I feel so good that I am finally doing something special for me.
After scrubbing bricks, I felt a bit better. I have now posted on here and feel better but not "much better". Next is to take my beautiful little dog for a walk. I have to be proactive to beat this @#&# thing. My god i even said the C word in my head. Ok feeling bad. Going for a walk. I will be back!!
Less than 10 minutes ago I was very seriously thinking about ......... I can't even write it down. I am on Day 30 today and I think I have the worst urge since I started. Why today? I'm in a good mood. I woke up thinking today is day 30! Yeah for me. I was pottering around in the garden and then BAM! It just hit me so strongly. I was thinking about all the horrible things that will happen if I drink and that it was not worth it but this demonish AV was so so close to convincing me. I was too scared to come inside. I actually individually scrubbed bricks to keep me busy!!!
I honestly have not felt this conflicted since I started. This is the problem with milestones. I was so excited to reach day 30, but I hadn't thought about day 31.
This is such an awful feeling. i feel like a little kid who wants to play in the deep end but is not allowed because it's too dangerous but doesn't care and just wants to dive right in. Arghh! The weirdest thing is that my family and friends won't really be disappointed and even on here I may get a that's too bad try again tomorrow. The only person that ACTUALLY cares whether I drink or not is me!!! And I do care if I drink. Very much. This past month has been an amazing testament to my strength. I feel so good that I am finally doing something special for me.
After scrubbing bricks, I felt a bit better. I have now posted on here and feel better but not "much better". Next is to take my beautiful little dog for a walk. I have to be proactive to beat this @#&# thing. My god i even said the C word in my head. Ok feeling bad. Going for a walk. I will be back!!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Botswana
Posts: 384
Hello everyone and thank you so much for the support. It really helped me keep things in perspective.
I can see now the anxiety was being jacked up by my AV just to prepare difficult terrain where it could more easily knock me over, then pick me up again with its warm, comforting booze-soaked BS buddiness.
As it was, circumstances changed ( long story ) and I made it through...
It is now 5.40 on a Saturday morning, I went to bed with the kids and have emerged from 11 hours of rock-solid-like-a-log sleep.
Still dark here and the full moon is casting shadows in the garden. This means it is day 28. I have done a whole moon !
Yuri, Serene - Are we running ? We are aren't we. Cool. I am in.
If June as about surviving, July is about pushing forward and getting better.
What I definitely know about running is that I loathe it. but it makes me feel great. In my experience it takes 4 weeks or maybe a dozen "runs" for me to get over how how awful it feels and then, slowly, slowly, I actually quite enjoy it.
So what a perfect goal for July.
Serene ,re: "how do you do it without having a coronary ? " Lamp-posts my friend. Lamp-posts. Walk ten, run one. Then walk eight, run two. Rinse and repeat.
Or similar, pretty soon you will be running ten, walking two - then running them all and sprinting every tenth one. Then its a hop skip and a jump to teh Olympic qualifiers.
Noolan - everything you write chimes with me, so thank you. It helps more than you will ever know.
1Step - More heroics and congratulations, and your girls tomorrow too. What a lovely reward for a sober week.
I'd be wary of doing the lime and soda/mineral water in bars thing though. Not sure I could be as strong as you. It is good to 'stand up to the bowling' but beware of edging one to the slips ( sorry US pals this is cricket ). There are other places to go than bars. Places that won't sell you booze. What are you going to do if some friendly person engages with you and buys you a drink?
Sorry if that sounds preachy, but in a way I am writing to myself too... What is great about SR is that we can see others doing what we do, struggling in the same ways, and overcoming each little battle, growing stronger - more resilient
every day... every moon.
Caramel WB. Just checked in with you in July class too. Whichever class you stick with it is great to have you back.
Happy 4 July to all Americans and happy hot summer days to all UK friends.
Now 6.20 - almost sunrise in deep midwinter down here. I'm going to take the Yuri challenge, find my trainers and walk a few lamp posts.
Go well, everyone.
I can see now the anxiety was being jacked up by my AV just to prepare difficult terrain where it could more easily knock me over, then pick me up again with its warm, comforting booze-soaked BS buddiness.
As it was, circumstances changed ( long story ) and I made it through...
It is now 5.40 on a Saturday morning, I went to bed with the kids and have emerged from 11 hours of rock-solid-like-a-log sleep.
Still dark here and the full moon is casting shadows in the garden. This means it is day 28. I have done a whole moon !
Yuri, Serene - Are we running ? We are aren't we. Cool. I am in.
If June as about surviving, July is about pushing forward and getting better.
What I definitely know about running is that I loathe it. but it makes me feel great. In my experience it takes 4 weeks or maybe a dozen "runs" for me to get over how how awful it feels and then, slowly, slowly, I actually quite enjoy it.
So what a perfect goal for July.
Serene ,re: "how do you do it without having a coronary ? " Lamp-posts my friend. Lamp-posts. Walk ten, run one. Then walk eight, run two. Rinse and repeat.
Or similar, pretty soon you will be running ten, walking two - then running them all and sprinting every tenth one. Then its a hop skip and a jump to teh Olympic qualifiers.
Noolan - everything you write chimes with me, so thank you. It helps more than you will ever know.
1Step - More heroics and congratulations, and your girls tomorrow too. What a lovely reward for a sober week.
I'd be wary of doing the lime and soda/mineral water in bars thing though. Not sure I could be as strong as you. It is good to 'stand up to the bowling' but beware of edging one to the slips ( sorry US pals this is cricket ). There are other places to go than bars. Places that won't sell you booze. What are you going to do if some friendly person engages with you and buys you a drink?
Sorry if that sounds preachy, but in a way I am writing to myself too... What is great about SR is that we can see others doing what we do, struggling in the same ways, and overcoming each little battle, growing stronger - more resilient
every day... every moon.
Caramel WB. Just checked in with you in July class too. Whichever class you stick with it is great to have you back.
Happy 4 July to all Americans and happy hot summer days to all UK friends.
Now 6.20 - almost sunrise in deep midwinter down here. I'm going to take the Yuri challenge, find my trainers and walk a few lamp posts.
Go well, everyone.
Last edited by nyala; 07-03-2015 at 09:29 PM. Reason: toned down profanities!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 95
Originally Posted by SandyO
It's so great to see everyone really putting effort into life. 30 days for Nolan, 25 for Yuri, 2 weeks for Sulu, 20 for mebutmuchbetter, 16 for lastchance, a week for maximus and peacefulrain, and everyone else (sorry only went back a couple of pages).
Less than 10 minutes ago I was very seriously thinking about ......... I can't even write it down. I am on Day 30 today and I think I have the worst urge since I started. Why today? I'm in a good mood. I woke up thinking today is day 30! Yeah for me. I was pottering around in the garden and then BAM! It just hit me so strongly. I was thinking about all the horrible things that will happen if I drink and that it was not worth it but this demonish AV was so so close to convincing me. I was too scared to come inside. I actually individually scrubbed bricks to keep me busy!!!
I honestly have not felt this conflicted since I started. This is the problem with milestones. I was so excited to reach day 30, but I hadn't thought about day 31.
This is such an awful feeling. i feel like a little kid who wants to play in the deep end but is not allowed because it's too dangerous but doesn't care and just wants to dive right in. Arghh! The weirdest thing is that my family and friends won't really be disappointed and even on here I may get a that's too bad try again tomorrow. The only person that ACTUALLY cares whether I drink or not is me!!! And I do care if I drink. Very much. This past month has been an amazing testament to my strength. I feel so good that I am finally doing something special for me.
After scrubbing bricks, I felt a bit better. I have now posted on here and feel better but not "much better". Next is to take my beautiful little dog for a walk. I have to be proactive to beat this @#&# thing. My god i even said the C word in my head. Ok feeling bad. Going for a walk. I will be back!!
Less than 10 minutes ago I was very seriously thinking about ......... I can't even write it down. I am on Day 30 today and I think I have the worst urge since I started. Why today? I'm in a good mood. I woke up thinking today is day 30! Yeah for me. I was pottering around in the garden and then BAM! It just hit me so strongly. I was thinking about all the horrible things that will happen if I drink and that it was not worth it but this demonish AV was so so close to convincing me. I was too scared to come inside. I actually individually scrubbed bricks to keep me busy!!!
I honestly have not felt this conflicted since I started. This is the problem with milestones. I was so excited to reach day 30, but I hadn't thought about day 31.
This is such an awful feeling. i feel like a little kid who wants to play in the deep end but is not allowed because it's too dangerous but doesn't care and just wants to dive right in. Arghh! The weirdest thing is that my family and friends won't really be disappointed and even on here I may get a that's too bad try again tomorrow. The only person that ACTUALLY cares whether I drink or not is me!!! And I do care if I drink. Very much. This past month has been an amazing testament to my strength. I feel so good that I am finally doing something special for me.
After scrubbing bricks, I felt a bit better. I have now posted on here and feel better but not "much better". Next is to take my beautiful little dog for a walk. I have to be proactive to beat this @#&# thing. My god i even said the C word in my head. Ok feeling bad. Going for a walk. I will be back!!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Botswana
Posts: 384
Sandy,
You just wrote...
Keep that close, and post here until that AV buggers off, as you know from experience it surely will. If it gets really bad, post in the new comers thread - there are more people there, so you will get quicker responses.
Everyone here wants you to get through this.
You just wrote...
This past month has been an amazing testament to my strength. I feel so good that I am finally doing something special for me.
Everyone here wants you to get through this.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 95
The Yuri Challenge. Good one, Fradley. Yes folks, I invented this activity called run/walking to help you through your recovery. You'll be amazed at how great you feel after making yourself feel horrible. It's the opposite of drinking.
"Trainers." I prefer that to "running shoes." The Yuri method refers to the footwear as "trainers."
"Trainers." I prefer that to "running shoes." The Yuri method refers to the footwear as "trainers."
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 345
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! I really didn't expected a response so quick. Just writing on here helps.
I thoroughly enjoyed my walk, had time to digest your posts and thought about all of you. Still cannot believe I am part of an online forum and the power that it has.
Also remarkably the urge has gone. Honestly if I did not write on here today I think that I would be drunk at this very moment. I need to be more active on here now more than ever I think.
Fradley you said it great. I have survived the first month now I must push forward and be better.
I need to go back to my wellness toolbox that I made in the first week and update it with more longer term plans. By longer, I mean a day or two rather than minute by minute, hour by hour as I have survived the past month.
Actually, I am doing ok, great really. Thanks Dee. It's amazing how our feelings can do a 180 in an hour. I felt weak an hour ago, now i feel strong. Bizarre.
Fradley, how did your big meeting go? Is that the long story you are referring to?
The Yuri challenge is a great idea but not for me. I loathe jogging, but when i do I wear "runners"!! When will you hear about your job interview? Good luck with it. hope it works out.
Again thank you so much for your support. This website is truly inspirational and life saving!
I thoroughly enjoyed my walk, had time to digest your posts and thought about all of you. Still cannot believe I am part of an online forum and the power that it has.
Also remarkably the urge has gone. Honestly if I did not write on here today I think that I would be drunk at this very moment. I need to be more active on here now more than ever I think.
Fradley you said it great. I have survived the first month now I must push forward and be better.
I need to go back to my wellness toolbox that I made in the first week and update it with more longer term plans. By longer, I mean a day or two rather than minute by minute, hour by hour as I have survived the past month.
Actually, I am doing ok, great really. Thanks Dee. It's amazing how our feelings can do a 180 in an hour. I felt weak an hour ago, now i feel strong. Bizarre.
Fradley, how did your big meeting go? Is that the long story you are referring to?
The Yuri challenge is a great idea but not for me. I loathe jogging, but when i do I wear "runners"!! When will you hear about your job interview? Good luck with it. hope it works out.
Again thank you so much for your support. This website is truly inspirational and life saving!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 95
Monday, I should hear, maybe tuesday, SandyO. I would be in charge of a department at a hardware store. One of my references is a friend of the owners family, so that was a lucky break.
I gave my current boss as a reference too, which I'm nervous about. We're friends I think, and I've done a decent job, but I broke my elbow six weeks ago, and had to go on disability. I had surgery, they needed a doctors note, the doctor said I couldn't use my arm. They couldn't "accommodate" me coming back to work.
I'd be OK just chilling on disability, but it's only $170 per week. Actually, it hasn't come through yet, so I'm getting buried in bills. I needed to make a move pronto, so hopefully the boss understands.
No health insurance, vacation days, or "accommodation." I should be mad at the employer, but I don't think I've given much reason for them to try to block a move. I'm getting the silent treatment from the current boss lately. It seems like an impending breakup. Hopefully it's cordial.
I gave my current boss as a reference too, which I'm nervous about. We're friends I think, and I've done a decent job, but I broke my elbow six weeks ago, and had to go on disability. I had surgery, they needed a doctors note, the doctor said I couldn't use my arm. They couldn't "accommodate" me coming back to work.
I'd be OK just chilling on disability, but it's only $170 per week. Actually, it hasn't come through yet, so I'm getting buried in bills. I needed to make a move pronto, so hopefully the boss understands.
No health insurance, vacation days, or "accommodation." I should be mad at the employer, but I don't think I've given much reason for them to try to block a move. I'm getting the silent treatment from the current boss lately. It seems like an impending breakup. Hopefully it's cordial.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 345
Originally Posted by YuriO
Monday, I should hear, maybe tuesday, SandyO. I would be in charge of a department at a hardware store. One of my references is a friend of the owners family, so that was a lucky break.
I gave my current boss as a reference too, which I'm nervous about. We're friends I think, and I've done a decent job, but I broke my elbow six weeks ago, and had to go on disability. I had surgery, they needed a doctors note, the doctor said I couldn't use my arm. They couldn't "accommodate" me coming back to work.
I'd be OK just chilling on disability, but it's only $170 per week. Actually, it hasn't come through yet, so I'm getting buried in bills. I needed to make a move pronto, so hopefully the boss understands.
No health insurance, vacation days, or "accommodation." I should be mad at the employer, but I don't think I've given much reason for them to try to block a move. I'm getting the silent treatment from the current boss lately. It seems like an impending breakup. Hopefully it's cordial.
I gave my current boss as a reference too, which I'm nervous about. We're friends I think, and I've done a decent job, but I broke my elbow six weeks ago, and had to go on disability. I had surgery, they needed a doctors note, the doctor said I couldn't use my arm. They couldn't "accommodate" me coming back to work.
I'd be OK just chilling on disability, but it's only $170 per week. Actually, it hasn't come through yet, so I'm getting buried in bills. I needed to make a move pronto, so hopefully the boss understands.
No health insurance, vacation days, or "accommodation." I should be mad at the employer, but I don't think I've given much reason for them to try to block a move. I'm getting the silent treatment from the current boss lately. It seems like an impending breakup. Hopefully it's cordial.
I'm off to a 4th of July bbq here in Japan with some expats. I'm driving and taking my dog so no problem with the AV. Better for me to be out then staying home. I'll pick up some yummy no alcohol drinks.
Take care
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Well done SandyO on getting through that urge to drink, isn't it amazing how it passes if we ride it out. Also a big congratulations to everyone reaching milestones. Loved the post that said June was surviving, July is for improving our lives or words to that effect, sorry can't remember who posted it!
So its day 13 here, and I shudder to think what could have happened yesterday evening if I'd decided to have just one drink. Thank God I didn't or I'd be still in bed now hung over. So no I don't find your post preachy Fradley it made sense.
Think I need to work on a social life that doesn't revolve around pubs, I used to play a lot of 5-a-side football years ago and was pretty fit and I have got into weight training in later years but that was pretty solitary. AA has helped my interacting skills but I feel I need to engage in activities unrelated to alcoholism!
Anyway, on a positive note, its a beautiful if breezy day here and I'm off to get my girls in an hour and feel excited about seeing them, feel happy to be sober and clear headed.
Have a fab day wherever you are and thank you all for the continuing support and comradeship. Together we're doing this!
So its day 13 here, and I shudder to think what could have happened yesterday evening if I'd decided to have just one drink. Thank God I didn't or I'd be still in bed now hung over. So no I don't find your post preachy Fradley it made sense.
Think I need to work on a social life that doesn't revolve around pubs, I used to play a lot of 5-a-side football years ago and was pretty fit and I have got into weight training in later years but that was pretty solitary. AA has helped my interacting skills but I feel I need to engage in activities unrelated to alcoholism!
Anyway, on a positive note, its a beautiful if breezy day here and I'm off to get my girls in an hour and feel excited about seeing them, feel happy to be sober and clear headed.
Have a fab day wherever you are and thank you all for the continuing support and comradeship. Together we're doing this!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 1,850
Happy 4th to those celebrating it.
Nothing doing today, did my usual am walks, with doggies, then my nature treks. The park was already crowded with pple staking their picnic spots. Made me a bit sad because I'm not doing anything with my limited family. Thought I was going to spend some time with my gkids, but they had a change of plans at the last minute. So its just hanging around the homestead 2day. Might go and sit on the deck, and get some rays. I'm still recovering from all the yard work the other day, so physical labor is out today.
Seems like everyone is doing fantastic! Keep it up June. Wishing all a sober, happy today. Make it a great one.
Nothing doing today, did my usual am walks, with doggies, then my nature treks. The park was already crowded with pple staking their picnic spots. Made me a bit sad because I'm not doing anything with my limited family. Thought I was going to spend some time with my gkids, but they had a change of plans at the last minute. So its just hanging around the homestead 2day. Might go and sit on the deck, and get some rays. I'm still recovering from all the yard work the other day, so physical labor is out today.
Seems like everyone is doing fantastic! Keep it up June. Wishing all a sober, happy today. Make it a great one.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 34
YuriO: If you switch on mobile to the full site, you get the Thanks button back. I think the full site switch option is near the bottom.
Fradley: ****. It's become a thing now? Well, that'll make me accountable to it. I think it's about time I set some goals towards it anyway. Woot! Health!
SandyO: Congrats on 30 days
. Woot! I like how you remarked on how you weren't really focusing on what happens on day 31. For me, that seems like a testament to the journey and not the destination, right? I mean, it's so easy for me to get all caught up in the goal on the horizon. As it gets closer, your focus becomes more immediate on the gold piece that's nearing and then all that crap that's further on, you don't see anymore. They say, when you're racing cars, you should only ever be looking out the top half of your windshield so you focus on what's coming down the road. I think that's pretty good advice for life.
Happy 4th of July to everybody.
I made it through Friday! Woot! One down, a lifetime more to go! How you like me now, AV?!
I wonder what the ducks are up to today....
Also, this site login times out too fast. Or do I just take a shitass long time to write posts?
Fradley: ****. It's become a thing now? Well, that'll make me accountable to it. I think it's about time I set some goals towards it anyway. Woot! Health!
SandyO: Congrats on 30 days
. Woot! I like how you remarked on how you weren't really focusing on what happens on day 31. For me, that seems like a testament to the journey and not the destination, right? I mean, it's so easy for me to get all caught up in the goal on the horizon. As it gets closer, your focus becomes more immediate on the gold piece that's nearing and then all that crap that's further on, you don't see anymore. They say, when you're racing cars, you should only ever be looking out the top half of your windshield so you focus on what's coming down the road. I think that's pretty good advice for life. Happy 4th of July to everybody
. I made it through Friday! Woot! One down, a lifetime more to go! How you like me now, AV?!
I wonder what the ducks are up to today....
Also, this site login times out too fast. Or do I just take a shitass long time to write posts?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: maine
Posts: 158
Clarity
Today after a few weeks of sobriety - I could actually listen to my husband of 30 years and understand what he has gone through and how very much he cares and has always been there. SO Grateful, but not beating myself up anymore with guilt and shame. Happy 4th to all!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 908
Hi friends.
Day 15 here just about wrapped up. Settled on the sofa watching the Copa America final (Argentina v Chile).
Feeling confident at the moment. The fleeting thoughts I have had about drinking, I have been able to control so far. I do not want to go down that miserable road again, ever.
Meeting a friend tomorrow for some ice cream at a local farm. Its all home made and should be delicious. A darn sight more fun than my usual awful hangover on a sunday morning. Not to forget the constant worrying all morning about where I would get my next drink from. Ugh.
Day 15 here just about wrapped up. Settled on the sofa watching the Copa America final (Argentina v Chile).
Feeling confident at the moment. The fleeting thoughts I have had about drinking, I have been able to control so far. I do not want to go down that miserable road again, ever.
Meeting a friend tomorrow for some ice cream at a local farm. Its all home made and should be delicious. A darn sight more fun than my usual awful hangover on a sunday morning. Not to forget the constant worrying all morning about where I would get my next drink from. Ugh.
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