YuriO

Wow. We graduated. I'm at day 24. My ex was drinking when I dropped off our kid, which made her very talkative and cheerful, but not really sharp. It didn't phase me much at all. That's progress.

I hope things are turning around for me. For us all too. I can play the cards I'm dealt. I'm grateful. It could be worse, but would really feel encouraged if I got some great news, or a big break, or an envelope full of money. In the meantime I'm doing better at dealing with what's in front of me.

I'm most proud of myself for doing some exercise. It surprises me how much my body and my mind likes it once I got over the inertia. Now, I'm starting to crave it like a drug. I might be a jogoholic.

Proud of everyone for putting in all this effort and providing inspiration and comfort to myself and others. Bblackbirdflyy, it would be so difficult to abstain at a wine tasting that I couldn't imagine myself being able to. I"d avoid it so much, because it makes drinking seem so sophisticated and educational. That would be a huge trigger for me, second only to a hard cider tasting. Craft beer tasting would be tempting as well. My AV is salivating just thinking about it. However... Mineral water is way way cooler. Much more sophisticato. It's also got terroir. Added bonus, the mineral water won't ruin my life. Thumbs up to that.

nyala

Faker,

You are in the June class for as long as you want. You are on the team, we have got your back and we are here for you.

Sorry you are struggling, but well done for toughing it out.

Go well my friend,

Imtehaan

Thank you Dee for all the encouragement and announcing our graduation.. In fact, this concept of Class of month, is really great , as we all can relate to each others situation in much better way.. Thank you all for the support.. We look forward to continue our sober journey together , in coming month.

Humbug

I'm proud of you, I hope I can make it to day 24. We must work harder and climb a bigger mountain to overcome our addict problems then people realize. But in the end our addictions is just changes into work, exercise, food eat a lot or eat super healthy etc... Everyone is different and deals with everything differently. But in the end it is easy for us to get stuck in that loop that is never ending and only dragging you down slowly to rock bottom. Even if you try to manage the problem by binging on your time off so you can still work but you will always work at a lower level, your coworkers will smell the alcohol from your sweet and breath . I Envy a person that can just have one or two beers on the weekend and that is it, and he or she is good.
I'm sorry if I am wrong in my thought, I only know my experiences. And I am proud you got to 24 days you over came so much keep it up. Sorry about your ex, but it is great for you kid to have a sober parent God bless you. climb that mountain of sobriety to the top and stay there.

jazzfish

Still here. It is nice to belong to a class that has graduated. I am learning that it wasn't just the drinking that caused my suffering, but also clinging to the idea of someday being a normal drinker. I need to learn to let go of those ideas like that. I will never be able to drink like other people. I have over 30 years of evidence to support that. I also know that the actual drinking has caused significant damage over the years and had me locked in a very destructive cycle. The pleasant thought of joining my friends for a beer on a summer day really equates with continuing the destructive cycle. Frustrating and hard to accept, but very true.

JL2014

Faker I'm right there with you. Feeling groggy and foggy this morning !
Dragging to work, but reading you guys posts feels me better. Felt really depressed and let down for some reason, but I'm blessed to have a job where I can listen to a prayer radio station while driving equipment and trucks. It's just junk trying to bring me down.
I always run into elderly ppl , most who don't have a care or worry in the world. Childhood and old age, seem to be a good ride. I wish I could keep a point of view like one or the other. Not worrying would be absolutely GOLDEN !
--- wake up call out of my funk was wife calling to tell me our 2 yr old is sick, so she's staying out of work for the morning to take him to the doctor. Kids always wake me up out my crap. No whining about boozing, feeling bad. No room for it when little people are counting on me.

1stepup

Hi all, day 10 here, still hot and humid, got some fence painting that's needed doing for ages, so although boring it'll keep me busy. Feeling stronger mentally and physically, trying to eat healthily and drinking loads of water.

My head can still wonder off to the 'wouldn't a pint in a beer garden be nice in this weather' thought, but I know that just the addiction talking. Its so contradictive, in the past when I was in a pub or beer garden I'd be looking at the sober public passing by who were shopping or what ever and I'd be envious thinking 'God, I wish I were free from these chains of addiction like them'. When I'm sober its the opposite I can pass a bunch of drinkers in a beer garden and think 'lucky so and so's, I wish I could drink socially like them',

Acceptance that I cannot drink without consequences is key to me, and by drinking Im losing, by staying sober Im winning it really is that simple.

Sulu1

Hi all

Day 12. It's blooming warm here today in the UK. 29 degrees Celsius is completely tropical for us brits.

Had another good sleep (really loving the sleep I'm getting at the moment).

Spending tonight with my family as opposed to on my own in my flat, so the company will be nice

Faker

Farley, thanks so much for your response. I'm feeling much better today. Woke up without any withdrawal or hangover and had a lovely day celebrating my oldest girls birthday. I had a very profound moment yesterday as I just let go. I really let go and gave it all to God. I obviously am not enough to beat this, but I felt strength from somewhere else shore me up and solidly I recommited. So here is the beginning of day three. I am vowing one day at a time and just focussing on nutrition, sobriety and really good sleep for 24 hours at a time.

Soberwolf

Good stuff Faker

Stubbs16

Hello all,

Doing ok today, but feeling a bit of depression coming on. I've already had 3 walks today, and did my usual chores, but I guess I'm just feeling sad today. Know it will pass though, just like cravings do, if we let they ride out.

I'm hoping to make some plans for the weekend so I can see the gkids. Being with then always makes my sadness, and depression lift. They are good medicine for me.

Hope all are doing well, and having a sober today.

1stepup

Sorry to hear you're feeling down Max, it will pass. Good that you've got your Grand kids to look forward to seeing at the wkend.

Glad your feeling better Faker, good nutrition and good sleep does seem to make my mood better. I just need to add exercise into the mix someday soon!

My mate, who also has a drink problem, called me before, he's going down the 'trying to control it' road, said he had 4pints at a BBQ last night and then stopped so its given him hope, he's now looking forward to another one planned for Saturday where he plans to have 6pints and then stop.....

Hope things work out ok for him. Its a good sign for me that I wasn't envious of him, but if I'd spoken to him when my mood was lower I probably would have been.

Faker

Maximus, I know that vague feeling of sadness well. I also know that creeping building feeling of depression. It is usually due to feeling very lonely. I have the busiest house in the world. In the past 2 days I've hosted 2 big sleepovers for the kids. Including my 4, we had 10 kids in our little 1960's three bedroom rambler. Thankfully we've had amazing weather so they have been able to play outside. But in the midst of all the busy fun, I am chronically lonely. My husband and I rarely connect. I have no relationship with my mom or siblings and have social anxiety. I have one very good friend that really knows me, but even after 15 years of friendship I still get some anxiety while visiting. I am so different since having my children. I was a very confident, social woman and sometimes I wonder if the hormonal changes of pregnancy has changed my chemical makeup fundamentally.
Sorry Maximus, I didn't mean to make it about me. I just want you to know I understand.

Stubbs16

Thanks everyone. Yes, I understand Faker. I'm married, but still feel alone. Luckily, I'm very close to my Mom. I see her everyday. I don't even want to think about how I will cope when she's gone. I have to stop myself before this depression does me in. Sometimes, its so bad I feel I'm smothering in it. I also suffer from anxiety issues too. Both made much worse by drinking. Hopefully, when I get enuff sober time in, these symptoms won't be as pronounced.

JL2014

Maximus I'm sorry to hear you're feeling bad. Feeling down is yuck.
Hoping to make it a sober day today

lucyloo14

Goodnight all, I hope you all get a lovely nights sleep and wake up happy and ready to take on another day! Yurio I too dream of something great happening a nice envelope full of money would be good right now as my husband has just started a new job and hates it. it's tough seeing him so down each night. I am trying to keep him cheered but wish he would notice how well I am doing (day 15) he hardly mentions it - yet I feel I have indeed climbed a mountain. If I came into lots of money I would buy us both a business to run together.

Fradley be strong, having your own business is such a brave thing to do, I know it is hard work and you have to put so much into it, but when it comes through it must be so satisfying. My husband should step outside the comfort zone and take a risk, I just know he would be so much happier working for himself but he is scared to try. So big respect to you my friend, keep at it, it will pay off.

Don't drink with the customer, I would be a coward and make something up like having a dodgy tummy so as not to make him feel threatened in any way or uncomfortable. You will respect yourself the next day and also remember everything however trivial. I always dissect conversations later to remind myself what questions they asked so I can see what was important to them!!

Me, I am keeping busy, my sons 23rd birthday today so I cooked a vast Mexican meal and it is so hot in the UK right now we ate outside - it was just lovely. All my family and associated girlfriends/ boyfriends around the table, I felt blessed. I am so gong to stick to this not drinking, I had a really lovely time talking and laughing and being sober. Onwards and upwards as they say.

Sweet dreams everyone - tomorrow will be a great day x

Noolan

Day 29.

Guys ups and downs are a part of sobriety. We become accustomed to immediate gratification from a drink because it pravoided an instant mood lift. The farther you move away from the comfort of a drug, the easier it is. I get it though, I was ready to pop some mdma Friday because of moment of lonliness. GLAD I didn't.

Another good day overall. Work is slow, so I'm just tooting along. I'm also currently sitting in the waiting room as the interlock is removed from my car. It will feel good not to have to blow every time I need to drive.

It's crazy how much can change in a year. I guess it would be nice to be sitting here a year sober, but I'm not phased by it. I learned so much since my DUI and have been doing real work to better myself. All things go to recreate us. The 9 months off booze, but trying to use other substances taught me the only option is sobriety. I'm content and just trying to truly overcome the AV. Much love, Nolan.

nyala

Hello - its another just after midnight post from me, but this time I'm going to bed , dog tired. Need to be up and out again in 5 hours.

There is a common theme emerging from this thread - everyone is sleeping deeper and better - and that has to be a good thing, no matter what else life is throwing at us. Max, Faker, warm thoughts here from me to you.

Sulu, 1step - You are doing great. No-one expected a heatwave in Wimbledon fortnight. Well done for enduring it and remember nothing quenches a thirst better than cold water.

Lucy - Lovely to hear of your big family meal and how you revelled in your sobriety ( can sober people 'revel' ? - they can now ! ) .

Thanks, too, for your kind and supportive words. It is tough, but I am definitely in " poor and happy" mode again. I could not imagine going back to my old comfortable well-paid corporate job, so I'm not going to complain about being self employed.

Its day 26 now and - it could be coincidence - but my kiddies seem to sense I am 'getting better' in some sense - last month I was ready to spend money I don't have on some office space ( to get away from the noisy kids ) , now I am content to work from home and adapt to the background noise and interruptions of happy children at play nearby.

Nothing has changed here - only my attitude to the situation.

My mini-Fradleys are 4, 3 and 1 - I can earn a fortune later in life. For now I want to enjoy having them close by.

Yuri, Humbug - Good call. Time to find my running shoes. Its windy, wet and winter here. No excuses !

Finally thanks from me too, to Dee and Soberwolf for keeping ths whole thing going. You are helping to change our lives and those around us, This is an admirable thing to do.

And I just love it when CaseyW pops in from "the future" to keep us on our toes.

Go well, friends.

SandyO

Congratulations everyone for making it to a new thread. We may be all at different stages but each one us used June to try and better ourselves.
The day before yesterday I had an awful day. I actually believed at one point that soberity had taken away my spark. Yesterday I felt fine. Sometimes we just have bad days and not everything in my life is revolved around alcohol or lack of it. My bad day wasn't because I was sober it was due to just having a bad day from the moment I woke up. If I had drunk, yesterday would not have been the nice day it was.
Hope you are all well. Thank you all for posting. I read everything but should jot down names to remember.
Enjoy your day. Take care.

TheSereneTheif

Not really sure how much of a graduation it is since I've only been around for a few days, but I'll take it.

Today was really a non-day. I do a lot of web work, and have been doing so for my mom - so I have had my mind off alcohol or drugs all day. She sells goats. An enthralling industry... or something, with uh, twists and goat tails at every corner. Have you ever listened to a goat? When they make sounds it always sounds to me as though they are saying, "Maa-a-a-a-tttt!!!!" Which is my name, so it's really unsettling. But then, I think I find a lot of things unsettling.

Anyway, I've been doing that all day. Starting at this screen since 10 a.m. But it's so good to see everyone is still here and plugging away.

Thanks for your reply Humbug. I know I'll make it a creative place if I just put my mind to it. I just have to make time for it.

Happy Wednesday to everyone! Take some time out to smile .