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Class of March 2013 Part 42

Old 07-20-2015, 05:50 PM
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Make mr spoon ya, Gilmer.

Sass, I ain't great but thanks for askin
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Old 07-20-2015, 05:58 PM
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But somehow you always manage to make everybody else feel good, Trach!
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Old 07-20-2015, 06:02 PM
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If life don't feel good...

I ain't attending.
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Old 07-20-2015, 06:51 PM
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DD, that is truly sad about your working partners son, I;m sure you'll do great with the damage control and if the partner talks to you, you will know the right things to say.

Buddtruck has been back in the shop since last Wednesday, one of the things that comes along with living ona small island kind of remote from the big cities, is , parts aren't always available, and ypou are at the mercy of the distributors when it happens. Hopefully I'll get it back tomporrow. In the mean time I'm getting lots of exercise and sun, as well as not using any gas!

As you all know, I volunteer for Special Olympics during their bowling training for the State Championships. This year I will be giving up my only days off for August and September.

I'm happy to be able to do this for them, but I do have one complaint that has been occuring with a few of the parents on some of the special needs persons.

I have some of the parents that bowl in my center, while they tell me all the time that they dont want special treatment for their children, they sure complain if I dont insist of giving them special treatment.

One in particular just pissed me off tonight. Recently we have switched to charging an hourly rate instead of a per game rate. I always let his son bowl on an open lane while he is here, which, according to the military guidelines, I shouldn't do, as the son bowls by himself without an authorized facilty user with him.

When I informed him tonight that he now must pay by the hour instead of per game the father got testy with me, reminding me that his son is "special" and I should give him a price break.

Now, the son, while having some special needs, is very high functioning, he holds a decent job, owns a truck, mustang convertible, jet ski, and has his own trailer. He's better off financially than I am!!!!

The actual difference in price works out to be less than $2.00 for the amount of time his son bowled.

I guess my argument is that if you don't want special treatment, don't complain when you don't get it. ( even thouh I am giving in more than I have to)

Oh well, if thats all I have to complain about, I guess I'm doing well!
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Old 07-20-2015, 07:01 PM
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Gilmer, I hope you get that good decompression very soon!

Trachy, sending lots of good wishes and hugs your way!

Budd, sorry to hear about Buddtruck and the bowling challenges. My impression is that parents these days are much more demanding of others for their children instead of being demanding of their children. What a change!
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Old 07-21-2015, 01:02 AM
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Budd, remind the father that as you do not discriminate, neither can you give preferential treatment as it would prove discrimination!!

I hope Buddtruck is recovered soon and racking up the miles!

Marcher, I get that HALT temptation at times, had a really OTT day at work yesterday, so much going on, I came in and same thing opened the fridge to an open bottle of wine, but just reached past it for the salad and poured myself a fizzy water! Relaxed just as well as I would have with a wine, and didn't end up with the hangover, the guilt and the self loathing.

DD how awful for your works partner, it shows that no matter what comforts and benefits we begin with in life, addiction is only a temptation away. I am so happy for us, for your family,more the family waiting to happen that you had a big enough scare to straighten yourself out. I know you will be there for the guy however you can.

Sass, my vocabulary is constantly getting refreshed, I love words and phrases! X

Gilmer, how's thing today Hun? X

I'm doing ok, just busy at work and still nor sleeping great but pretty ok x
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Old 07-21-2015, 06:17 AM
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I slept in today, Toots--that usually means a good start to the day!

Budd, I hope the parts come in soon and the Buddtruck is out and running like a champ!

Lately people of every economic class seem very arrogant and spoiled. When they don't get what they want, they throw tantrums like children. There is much less humility in the air these days.

Is that just a US phenomenon, or is it happening all over the world?

I know a teacher, and she says the worst part of her job is "managing" the parents.
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Old 07-21-2015, 07:33 AM
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Gilmer, glad you got a good sleep :-). You surely needed it.

Less humility - yes. I think it's everywhere, not just US. OTOH, some of it may simply be that people are less inhibited about expressing what they think. And helicopter parenting is the norm these days. We are living in difficult times, at least partly resulting from the concentration of wealth in the hands of a few, IMHO. Not an easy world for our children. I recently read in the NY Times about the problems with tourists in many countries taking nude selfies at popular places to visit - and it's no longer just US citizens!
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Old 07-21-2015, 03:07 PM
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I was very laissez-faire with my kids. I gave them a chance to do sports, but didn't force them. My girls went back for a couple seasons, but my boys weren't interested at all. The only one who was ever interested in any other extra-curriculars was my youngest, who was nuts over Marching Band. The interest was all his, so I supported it.

My second son was special needs for a couple of things. It was suggested that I take him to a special eye doctor for coordination and focusing exercises. I did. When it was time for parent/staff assessment meetings, I always made sure I thanked them sincerely for the excellent work they put in and the progress I'd seen. They in turn thanked me, because I listened to them as experts in the field, and took their recommendations to heart.

They said it was a pleasure to deal with me and my polite son (as opposed to the spoiled, angry ******* who constantly ignored all advice, expected rabbits to be pulled from hats, then threw tantrums when they didn't get their way).

I have little patience with helicopter parents, especially the kind who view their children as status symbols.

I've vented about it before. Usually I don't like to express strong opinions on the board, but I really think children ought to have a little breathing room to find out who they are.
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Old 07-21-2015, 03:21 PM
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But who am I to judge?

Every once in awhile I find myself getting indignant at other people thwarting my all-important plans. I don't want to act like the stereotypical suburbanite--but sometimes I do, much to my embarrassment!
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Old 07-21-2015, 03:37 PM
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Sorry for the avalanche of venting. Who knows where that came from!
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Old 07-21-2015, 03:56 PM
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Good morning Marchers from a grey old Paradise I have such exciting news for you which I know will have you all jumping out of your skin: I was too almost warm yesterday! I know! 18C!!!

Settle down, settle down.

Gilmer and Sass I nodded through your posts. Do you know I think the fault lays with education of the 80s and 90s, we suddenly did almost too much pastoral care and self esteem building (in curriculums in general I mean) and there was not enough balance between the responsibility of the individual along with the self-esteem of the individual. I think the intention was good but,along with the affluence that came at the time, we created a bit of a monster.

Gosh, it's not even 9am and here we are all philosophical.

Have a good day peeps.
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Old 07-21-2015, 04:01 PM
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I think you're absolutely right, Marcher.

I'm glad you are living in more comfort now!
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Old 07-21-2015, 04:53 PM
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Self-esteem ... Interesting (I think) footnote. Self-esteem became such a huge thing which directly and indirectly led to kids being heaped with praise for anything and everything. In my IOP, they talked about that and suggested that the term "self-compassion" more accurately reflects both what was perhaps intended (and is also much more helpful in the context of addiction).

Gilmer, it may take awhile to process everything that has happened in your life recently. Be kind to yourself and feel free to vent as needed!

Marcher, good to hear that it's been warmer for you. And yes, I agree that we have created a monster!
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Old 07-21-2015, 05:15 PM
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Yeah, I think there's a big difference between the intended celebration of each child's divine spark and what my husband calls "comfort lies": giving everybody the same award in a competition, for instance.

Everybody's got different gifts--but everybody's got something. It is better to take the time and effort to find out each individual's gift than it is to give the same rubber stamp to everybody. Rather than making kids feel more special, I think it makes them feel patronized. Kids are good at spotting BS.

And it makes kids who have truly made a big achievement feel as though they may as well not bother striving for excellence.

It's a joy to find and appreciate people's real gifts. Giving the same award to everybody is the lazy way out.
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Old 07-22-2015, 12:26 AM
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Today would have been my dad's birthday. It is very odd not to have him here.
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Old 07-22-2015, 03:22 AM
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Sorry, Gilmer. I find I still notice my parents' birthdays and anniversary 20 years later though the feelings are far gentler now.
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Old 07-22-2015, 03:23 AM
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I hear you. I don't feel sad, just--odd.
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Old 07-22-2015, 04:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Gilmer View Post
I hear you. I don't feel sad, just--odd.
That, too, sounds familiar. My parents had long and productive lives. It was their time and it was in many ways a relief and a good ending. I recall feeling unsettled about my feelings. It did ease up with time.
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Old 07-22-2015, 04:43 AM
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I understand too Gilmer, about the oddness and feelings. My Dad and I never thought anything of Fathers' Day, guess which day I miss him most?
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