Easyrider

Does anyone have any experience with SMART recovery?

Noolan

I've done quite a bit of research on it, but there are literally two meetings in my area. I've found a therapist that utilizes similar methods found in SMART, but if you have access, give it a shot!

Noolan

I agree. If you let a relapse feel like anything you have achevied prior is gone, it feels like you're back at the starting line. I like to think of it as the same race and you've stumbled. Getting back up is key; also figuring out what you can do to avoid another. Keep yo head up and keep pushing.

nyala

Day 14.

So , as I was popping out the store with the kids, mrs F said " if you are getting wine please get some for me".

So I did. Which was easy. I cooked fur us all and had to remind her there was wine I the house. She said she would have a glass so I found the bottle and s glass.

It was so weird. I almost had to ask her to open the bottle. As I was afraid if I did, I might drink too.

I poured he a large glass ( my type if measure through force if habit) and drank juice while we ate.

The half drunk glass sat there for half an hour, while she was busy in the other room after dinner. When I took it to her, I had to hold it at arms kength for fear of breathing the fumes.

The bottle is in the fridge, three quarters full. And I am petrified I sm going to drink it - whilst knowing I am not.

Actually I don't know I am not going to drink it. I just wish it wasn't there.

Mts. F is not a big drinker. A glass of wine with dinner is normally more than enough. It would be me who polished off the bottle and then went in search of more.

Sorry if this is disjointed. I just wanted to post rather than dwell on it any longer.

9 pm here, so bed is safest option but I had planned to do lots of other stuff.

Will try to catch. Up in this thread instead.

Go well June people

Fradley

Imtehaan

Day 17 .. The feeling of freedom is so nice . Now , I am realizing, I was actually in a jail of alcohol .I did so many fun things , last week , which I did not do in last 7 years .. Rather could not do it .. Because , I was in a Jail of alcohol. Now , I do not have to worry about booze . Do not have to plan my day around it .. Freedom feels nice .. Thank you all .

Imtehaan

Fradely , you are doing great .. How about pouring that wine bottele down the sink ? Then , go to bed ... You can get another bottle for mrs F tomorrow . For today , just throw it away ..

Stubbs16

Thanks Noolan. I've stumbled so many times with this tho. I was able to quit at 3, but I know that's not true for everytime I drink. But, I'm keeping up with it, trying for sobriety.

Fradley, you are doing great! I didn't have any intentions of drinking last pm, but it was there, and when its right here, well, its harder for me to decline. But, if I really wanted it badly enuff, I certainly know where to go. I'm a big girl, alcohol is always going to be around, whether its in the house or not. But I do agree its much harder when its early days of sobriety, and someone else is drinking, and its right there and waiting... I totally agree with that.

Imt, I agree with you on alcohol keeping you a prisoner. It really does, and controls your life eventually. I'm so much happier when I'm sober, and don't have to worry about driving, getting more accomplished,etc. Sober is freedom, I agree.

Proud of everyone here for being here, and any and all days you all have racked up. Even If its day 1, or 5, or beyond. Trying and wanting still counts in my book.

I didn't want to come back 2day, and admit failure, but I'm here because I'm not perfect, and I want to be sober, still, and I appreciate all the help and support here. I do feel like such a heel, but that's the way it is. I'm really never going to give up, so I hope y all can put up with me!

nyala

Thank you, Imtehaan, Maximus

I made it through - the bottle is still in the fridge, untouched by me - I wanted to wait until I had gone a whole month sober,before telling Mrs F that I was stopping forever, but perhaps I'll do this tomorrow,and we can pour it down the sink together.

The problem I have with this idea ( announcing that " this time it is forever" ) though, is I worry it may raise the stakes too much - and too early.

I feel comfortable with no-one ( outside of SR ) knowing my intentions and new resolve with regard to quitting.

It makes it easier - or less difficult- for me to plod along hour by hour slowly clocking up the days until I have a 'bank' of resilience which I can call upon if/when the inevitable questions/challenges come my way when I decide to announce my intentions.

Crikey - all this analysis in my head because I bought my wife a bottle of wine and she rudely didn't drink it all in one sitting like any normal hopeless alcoholic would do...

And now, here I am complaining that the bottle is sitting there mocking me from inside the fridge and will stare at me all day tomorrow, and maybe the day after.

Only people on SR would understand this. Which is why I am glad you are all here.

OK - crazy logic over. Bedtime. Tomorrow is day 15.

Stubbs16

Way to go Fradley! Very proud of u, for standing your ground. And many congrats on 2 weeks, and counting!

It was so ironic, the other day while exercising and listening to some radio, I heard an old song by Tom Petty. Not sure of the title, but it was Stand my ground, and I won't back down! This is my new theme song, for my recovery now. You just did that! And everyone else here. I believe that was a good omen for me, for us all. We can do this! Just have to keep at it.

Cooking up a yummy dinner now, and so glad I feel up to it.
Stay the course June class. Its really possible. Don't ever give in, or give up.

Stubbs16

Well, while waiting for my delish dinner to be ready, I was thinking about why my hub brought those beers home last pm. He doesn't drink hardly ever, and he knows my struggles with it. Is it because I was so crabby this week? Does he like the drinking person I was better? I know not, because he always complains when I drink too much. Is he somehow trying to undermine my fight with 100% sober? My plans of sober? Is he feeling threatened in some way? Because he doesn't want me to be well? I just don't know.

There isn't an answer here, and it really doesn't matter . Nobody makes me drink, except me. Period. All the reasons and excuses in the world doesn't make a difference. This is something I NEED to do, just for ME. No matter how difficult life becomes, or how good it is, at one day, or moment.

I would feel more confident tho, if I had his support more. Maybe that was a test for me? From him? If so, then he can't have my back here at all. Its up to me to do this. And I'm glad I'm not alone here.

Thanks everyone. I'm keeping on.

bblackbirdflyy

So most people are drinking. They started cracking them as soon as we got parked. I've never met his family. One lady is acting like I can't be cool or "in" unless I'm drinking. :/ not too amused. I'm still sober. Had a few thoughts, they were dismissed.

There's this wonderful waterfall that you can walk under in a huge gorge. I'm going up there at sunrise, no hangover. Hope y'all are well.

--bbf

Scram

Hey everyone!

Making through the weekend ok - been a nice one so far. I just wanted to quickly post about "writing out the drink" which serenidad mentioned a while back. I just did it this afternoon, as I found myself having weird feelings of a drinking tonight creep in.

It was really, really effective. I literally wrote out the drinking, from beginning to end. And it's the end that I always conveniently forget when the AV sets in. But that end... ugghhh, you can actually feel it by the time you finish writing it out. Very effective

YuriO

It sounds like this weekend has been challenging for a lot of us. I haven't had any major temptations, but I have that feeling of unease that alcohol used to deaden. It's not anxiety, or depression, just a vague mental discomfort, an uneasiness.
I'll make some herbal tea. I'm going to find new effective ways to cope. Tomorrow will mark 2 weeks, and I'll do something nice for myself. Hang in there everybody.
I'd not be able to leave that wine alone Fradley. I hope you can get rid of it gracefully.

Dee74

good song choice Max



have a great sober weekend guys - everyone here has it in them to rock sobriety


D

SansaS

I've hit 3 weeks today. Love waking up without a hangover. Still feeling a little flat, but I know that I'll start feeling a lot better if I can stick with this.

Noolan

Oi, the car ride, 5am wake up calls to fish, and six days of sun has me utterly tired. My AV started in hard; I didn't give in, but it's crazy how being exhausted lowers my will power. Good news is I'm home now and fully stocked on grocery supplies without any booze. Have a safe day/night, ya'll.

mayg

[QUOTE=Fradley;
Crikey - all this analysis in my head because I bought my wife a bottle of wine and she rudely didn't drink it all in one sitting like any normal hopeless alcoholic would do...

[/QUOTE]

You hit the nail and made me laugh Fradley.
Could you say to her that you're going to have three months off and would really appreciate her help? So a smaller window and then move it to six, or a year. I completely understand the pressure of saying never both to yourself and others. I have big stuff on in a few weeks. Two weeks away and it's work but there will be serious drinking each lunch and then every night and I think I am going to say I am on antibitotics or something as I don't want the nudges if I stuff up and the following year I'm back to being the cabaret. I'll know I've failed I don't need them knowing.
Mayg

mayg

Well done Sansa. You are amazing. That's so good.
Well done to all who keep at it. Scram I am going to try writing it out next time. Thank you.
Maximus, a friend used to say that the only time her husband cooked was when she was on diet. Cakes, cookies etc. People are threatened by changed, it doesn't mean they are deliberately sabotaging. And being sober would be a change, a very big one, I know that is the case for me. I would achieve so much more with a clear head and all those extra hours and improved self esteem. Don't get me started on ex:-) suffice to say Billy's song just the way you are takes on a whole new meaning. Have another wine and stay the same Mayg

mayg

Oh and when I say keep at it, I mean keep trying to improve their lives and keep coming back Mayg

Fallengirl

Hey I'm on day 7, this has been my first weekend not drinking. Father's Day tomo here in the UK. First meal out! Temptation will be there! Must refrain. This group is certainly helping xx