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Class of April 2015 Part 6

Old 07-09-2015, 04:02 PM
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My wife just said that since I stopped drinking I've lost my sense of humour, am morose and no fun. That really saddens me. Don't know what to say. Oh well.
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Old 07-09-2015, 04:07 PM
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I think recovery is rough on our partners too. It's a lot of uncertainly and change.

In the short term, I was a million different me's in the first 90 days or so...but I settled down eventually and rediscovered a me, a true me, I'd forgotten.

I'm sure you'll like that person, and your wife will too, amp

D
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Old 07-09-2015, 07:00 PM
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Congratulations on your 80 days, amp. I'm feeling more like myself today than I have in a few days. The last few days have been kinda rocky and I have wanted to drink but I didn't. That lifestyle that I had while drinking was not a true life, and I'm so afraid that if I have that one drink it will domino into that life again. I'm an alcoholic and I cannot have just one drink. When I drank there were times that I wanted to die. I never actually tried but I thought everyone would be better off without me. I do not want to die. There's a lot that I would like to do in life, watch my beautiful son grow up into a good man, eventually move back to my home state and just keep working on myself. I'm so happy that I didn't drink during that rough patch.

SwimKim, we're all here for you. It will indeed pass. (hugs)

I've gone over past postings by myself and in this group and it has helped so much. Thank you all very much.
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Old 07-09-2015, 08:48 PM
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Hey Angie, I'm glad you made it through the rough patch. I think that our sober selves are much better than our drunk selves were. Amp, I'm sorry to hear about the comment your wife made. I actually feel "less fun" as well; I'm a lot more quiet and reserved in social situations (whether others are drinking or not). I do believe that you are a much better version of yourself now - well, I never knew you when you were drunk, but I can tell by what you write here that you are a kind, caring, thoughtful person when you are sober. I think Dee hit it on the head - it just takes time for us to figure it out, and probably more so for our partners/family members to figure the new us out.
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Old 07-09-2015, 10:59 PM
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Good morning all, catch up laggers
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Old 07-10-2015, 11:43 AM
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Just checking in. Been busy with family stuff. Day 75 for me and to be honest I'm pretty depressed. I have faith that it will pass and I tell myself that if I don't have anything else I have my sobriety. I am grateful for that. Headed to Oregon on Monday to see my son and a good friend who I haven't seen in years. She just moved back to the west coast from NYC with her baby that I've never met. My husband doesn't want me to go. I booked the flight anyways. I am realizing how controlling he is lately...and mean. Sometimes I think he hates me. Good thing he's always gone for work. I'm not sure which is worse..being completely alone or having him home. All of these things are now cropping up that I'm sober. I want to get THROUGH them..not around them, or try and drown them but learn and grow from them no matter how hard it is. Sometimes I feel like I read peoples posts and everyone has these established lives and I feel like an orphaned infant. Sooo..One day at a time, right? I am grateful for you all and glad everyone is hanging in there. Hope I don't sound too much like a Debbie Downer..I really am grateful. This too shall pass
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Old 07-10-2015, 11:59 AM
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Wishing you much strength Cee. Taking life by the horns takes guts!
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Old 07-10-2015, 03:51 PM
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Hi Everyone. I'm struggling this afternoon. Felt really good earlier. Have had some strong triggers this afternoon. I'm playing the tape through, and will not drink today bc I do not want the hangover that will come tomorrow. That is a horrible way to start the weekend.

It helps to post here. Thank you guys for being here!
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Old 07-10-2015, 07:46 PM
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Follow up post. Finished up work, got off the train and felt pretty antsy. Ran a couple errands then came home and ate dinner. My AV was very loud. Kept telling it "NO!". Showered and in bed relaxing. Feeling some relief now. I know I will feel great in the morning after a good night's sleep.

Hope you are all kicking off the weekend right!
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Old 07-11-2015, 01:03 AM
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Well done Swim! Show AV who's boss!
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Old 07-11-2015, 08:26 AM
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Good morning all.
Got out of bed 3 times this morning. I think I could spend all day in bed today.

Gotta get up and go though. Off to the races.

Thanks for touching base via PM Amp.
I know my posting has reduced. You are right to be concerned. I worry about myself at times. Sometimes I fee like I make one step forward, two steps back. So far, at least, I've made enough steps forward to still be ahead.
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Old 07-11-2015, 08:52 AM
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You can do this Inc! Stay close to SR and we'll get through together!
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Old 07-11-2015, 09:36 AM
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Did everyone wake up knowing where they were hangover free this morning? OK, good. Victory!..Let's keep going! Excited to see what's on the other side of this pre 90 days funk. Grateful for you all. Hope everyone has a good day and remember..Don't drink, no matter what.
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Old 07-11-2015, 10:16 AM
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Waking up hangover free never gets old I love mornings. Getting to sleep has never been my thing though. Still working on that.

Yesterday was a little rough. My dad was being a jerk like usual and it was hard to tolerate. I shoved a bunch of food in my face lol didn't drink. I've also been venting to family. This has been relieving but it also makes me feel guilty. I don't like burdening people. But we have to talk sometimes, right?

Hangover free and even went for a jog. I saw a deer with 2 babies on the trail I was on. Pretty good turn around from yesterday.

Morning everyone
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Old 07-11-2015, 12:36 PM
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Hi, All. Feeling much better today. Went for a swim and it felt great even though my body was a little tired. It's a beautiful day out - sunny and warm (but not hot). Heading to the library now and maybe will hit up a cafe later.

Incontrol, Cee, Lily: hang in there! Thinking of you all.
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Old 07-11-2015, 04:11 PM
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Hi everyone! I'm doing great although feeling a bit lazy. I've promised myself to do a little housework at around 6 and then I'm going to watch a movie with my son. It's not too hot out there and I'm happy about that. Planning on visiting family in Georgia for two weeks in December right around the holidays. My parents don't drink at all and I'm planning on being sober for 7 months then so they'll see a much happier person than I was during my last trip. I didn't drink at all visiting last year but it was a struggle to stay sober those two weeks. I kept wanting to go into town by myself to get a beer but couldn't figure out how to do it where my parents wouldn't suspect. Ugh. Happy to be sober. Those cravings have not been easy to get through but I'm getting though them and I'm so very thankful for all of you!


I'm so happy to see you back incontrol. We are all in this together.

SwimKim, so glad to see you feeling better! Hope you enjoy the library (I LOVE librarys) and the cafe.

Lily, it's no burden to talk/vent to your family. They care about you and are there for you. I hope you're having a great day.

CeeFaro, I LOVE hangover free mornings. I remember how I used to feel when I was drinking and that was sheer torture waking up. I'm so glad we're having these awesome mornings.
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Old 07-12-2015, 08:37 AM
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Morning, All! Angie, glad you are doing well. Setting the goal for being sober 7 months during the visit to your parents is awesome. They will absolutely love the fact that you are sober, and you will feel so much better and more relaxed than the last time when you stressed over trying to sneak alcohol (I've been there so many times!). My dad doesn't drink (he's an alcoholic and has been sober 15+ years) and my mom drinks a little (but doesn't around me now that I'm sober) and I've noticed that my mom is so happy when I come and visit now. She always offers to take me shopping, ha ha. When I was still drinking I think I really stressed her out because she never knew what I was going to do/what mood I was going to be in. Being sober is a win for everyone!

I'm feeling relaxed and refreshed this morning. My AV came back yesterday afternoon and was pretty strong for the rest of the day. I played the tape through so many times. I took a look at the July 2015 Class, and everyone was really struggling with the cravings. I felt in the same boat as them, but with 81 days under my belt. I'm still so shocked at how strong the cravings are now, but I'm glad I can get through them.

I hope you all are having a peaceful, sober Sunday.
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Old 07-12-2015, 08:57 AM
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Thanks Swim! Good to see everyone still sober and battling towards the 90 days. I'm sure on 90 days a magic wand won't be waved making all of our troubles disappear but for me it was my original objective in which I was going to reevaluate my decision.

I now feel confident about carrying on to my second objective of 6 months even though I still have a week to go till I notch up 90.

When I think back to how I was feeling about my life and my relationships 3 months ago I can't imagine a situation in which I would intellectually decide to go back to drinking, so the only thing that can make me return to my old ways are the traces of my addiction. It's an ongoing battle but becoming easier with time. I guess that's why it's called recovery.

Nice to see other people strengthening their resolve with longer term targets. It sometimes feels wrong to have long-term goals if, like me, you adhere to a one-day-at-a-time philosophy but I find it is also important to have a broader objective outside the daily challenges.

Well, enough reflection for now! Hope you all enjoy a good sober day!!!
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Old 07-12-2015, 09:49 AM
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Hi all,
Just a quick check in. Survived Saturday which was a big test. Felt great when I woke up!
On the move, will check back later.

Best wishes
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Old 07-12-2015, 10:19 AM
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Good morning! Hope everyone has a great day!
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