Angie247

I can relate, Incontrol. I've spent a lot of time thinking about all the wrong turns that I've taken since I left home. It consumes me sometimes and when I visit home, I wonder what would have been if I had made different choices. However, I'm trying to let that go. It's not easy. I want to focus on now and making a life that I will enjoy. I hope that I can do this.

Hope everyone is having a great day. I've been straightening up the house, made cinnamon rolls and I'm trying to motivate myself to go out. I have a dvd from the library that has to be returned today or I will get a late fee and I can't have that. My son had a great time watching the fireworks last night and so did I. It was great being around my neighbors and I did it all sober. We just walked out of our house and fireworks were all around. It was very nice.

amp123

Hi all! I'll be turning in after a long day. Been down to Brixton with my sister and hooked up with my Dad who lives down that way. Ate Japanese food in a street cafe in a covered market. My Dad and sister were drinking wine and we went to a couple of bars first. I never know what to order. I don't feel at home in pubs and bars now. Like a fish out of water...but I felt better with the food and then coffee after.

Just realized that I make 11 weeks tomorrow. I can't remember ever having come so far in such a short space of time.

Cauliflower

Evening all, I was working today since it was raining and kind of smoky from the forest fires out west. High winds blew the smoke this way. I am heading to bed with my Kindle, starting a new book tonight. Day 75?! Wowza It was my 11th sober weekend, and it was great! Next weekend I will be blessed with another visit from my son and family, something to look forward too!

ZaBoozer

Good morning all. Catch up laggers.

amp123

Morning all!

OMD

Morning all!
Hope you all have a very nice Monday. Amp, sounds like things are going well under the circumstances. Good to see!

I hit the road this morning nice and early for a run. Did swimming last night. I think my body is starting to get used to the absence of booze

Best wishes

OMD

Cauliflower

I have been lagging this morning, but i am up and atom and it's noon!
Finishing up a bit of work then heading out doors, the sun is coming out, the sky looks blue, not gray from smoke, so we will be going out on our bikes for a bit.

amp123

Making time outside a pub in West London where I'm due to meet my oldest friend in 10 minutes. Last time I saw him nearly a year ago I was also sober and when I mentioned I was driving he said he assumed I wouldn't be drinking. Have the feeling it's going to be OK but don't want to fall into the trap of feeling over confident. Our relationship over the years has been largely alcohol-fueled but I think that's more to do with me than him.

Will check in later and let you know how it's gone...

Incontrol15

Feel like I over worked myself. It's what I do when stressed about money. And I'm stressed.

This weekend I did a whole lot of nothing. Other than minimum basics to support life. Felt good.

Only issue is....
NOW IM STRESSED!
I'VE GOT SO MUCH I SHOULD HAVE DONE!

SwimKim12

Hey Amp, how are you doing?

SwimKim12

I've read that the 60-90 day mark is pretty hard. I can agree with that. Had a lot of anxiety today because of work and family issues, and caught myself craving alcohol a few times. Just happened again a few minutes ago reading an alcohol-related article. I don't have any alcohol with me nor am I going to the store, so I know I'll be okay tonight.

Do you all have any advice for "re-committing" to sobriety? I feel like I need to do something along those lines to keep the AV buried where it should be. Also curious if any of you are feeling the same.

ZaBoozer

Good morning all, catch up laggers

Angie247

SwimKim, I'm on day 70 and have felt a lot of anxiety lately from work and loneliness. I don't feel as committed and it's scary. What I'm trying to do is to remind myself of how the alcohol increased my anxiety and depression. I don't want to start over from day one either. Also, I've been going over some of my previous postings where I was more dedicated to sobriety. I'm sorry, Swimkim because I wish I could give you better advice than this. I really don't want to go back to drinking for the emotional and physical changes that it did to me. Hangovers and withdrawals are no joke.

Dee74

I think it is common to feel a bit wobbly in the 60-90 day period.

It's long enough to forget the bad stuff and feel good again...but too soon for some of the longer range changes of sobriety to kick in.

I'd recommend two things Kim, Angie and anyone else feeling a little vulnerable...

make sure you have support, and keep using it...and remember that any thought drinking might be OK for you now, is a lie.

If any of you guys are readers, there's a great book list here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...rituality.html


D

SwimKim12

Thank you, Dee and Angie for the good advice. I'm going to start journaling daily one positive thing that I've gained from being sober and one negative thing that alcohol did to me. That should help keep my head in the right place. I'm also going to stay away from people who are drinking. The last few weeks I've been in too many situations where people were drinking, and I think it wore me down a little. I don't forsee any alcohol-related events on my social calendar over the next few weeks and I will try to keep it that way!

amp123

Hi guys!

I had a good evening last night. Stayed with my friend in a pub talking for over four hours and wasn't tempted to drink. My friend drank a little but nothing like what I would have drunk back in the day. It was nice to enjoy a great conversation with an old friend and not feel it over-shadowed by the angst of dealing with another alcohol-free evening in an apparently dangerous situation.

Again, I wouldn't say that I didn't feel like drinking at all but the thought was easily pushed away. A word I hear around here a lot is acceptance and I feel that I am beginning to really accept that alcohol is not an option in my life. When you can fully accept and embrace that idea, I think the option literally comes off the table. Early days but feeling good about my commitment and ability to see it through.

I know there are days and days but I feel this trip to the UK is strengthening my resolve.

Have a great sober day!

Cauliflower

SwimKim, I too have been feeling vulnerable at 11 weeks. I see a trend with us though: feeling the anxiety with dealing with not drinking in a "drinking" situation. I recognized that over the last two outings I had. One was a seemingly safe bbq where there was a bit of wine at dinner (at the time it was a life threatening, dreadful, heart palpitating disaster waiting to happen! But, when I think of it now, the wine was put away after dinner and everyone enjoyed an alcohol free evening!) and then again when I went camping for one evening with a friend. She had a beer or two, I had my alcohol free beer, and it was great...until we stopped by the neighbors, and they were drinking up a storm. I wasn't tempted to drink, but it was hard to watch and engage with people who where hammered.

I have decided to stick to where I feel no anxiety and that is at home with my family. I know that I can't be a homebody forever, and that life will continue to happen, but for the next little while, I need my sanity! I have decided to not go away on vacation this summer. The thought of being in wine country (that is where we were going to go), being with wine drinking family is just too much. It's not something that I am looking forward too, so I won't do it.

Alcohol gave us that feeling of an instant reward, reward for working so hard, reward for putting up with crappy people, , reward for cleaning up the house, reward for making a sale etc etc. It's human nature to want to reward ourselves.

Not drinking this week, so I will buy my granddaughter a wagon with all the money I am saving! I did not drink this past weekend, so I will treat myself to a pedicure. Not drinking today, so after work I will sit on my deck with my iced tea and a great book.

Also, we need to have positive goals to work towards. It's the anticipation of something wonderful to come that keeps us moving forward! I'm still working on this one. I know my ultimate plan is not drink, ever, but that is not enough. It's not concrete, I have nothing to measure my results. So I am looking to make some goals for the future in which I know I could not do if I was on the constant binge drinking cycle that I was on before.

Cauliflower

I get that! I sometimes feel stressed after taking time out for myself. It happens. But, you will ultimately perform better when you are rested and take the time to care for yourself. The only way your stress will decrease is if you take the time to de-stress! Eventually, your mind will catch up to your body and you will perform on an even keel. Keep up the good work Inc! You are doing great!

amp123

I've read that the 60 to 90 day period is a tough time for many. At around 60 days I went through a tough time yet 2 weeks later I'm brimming with confidence. It would appear that these ups and downs are cyclical to a large degree and as such it is important to remember that we're playing for the long game and thus there will be waves to be ridden and troughs to plough through before things level out. Many find some stability around 90 days and others take longer but most with success stories concur that between 3 and 6 months things settle down.

The main thing is that there is a finite time on this emotional rollercoaster. I remind myself of that when it gets bad. I've decided to at least get to 180 days before I decide. I reckon when I manage to get there (fingers crossed) I'll have the strength and perspective I need to take the decision I know in my heart to be the right one for me.

Incontrol15

Great post Amp. Thanks for the knowledge.
Definitely cyclical. Almost manic-depressive!

Got to give a shout out to the ladies who get moody due to menstrual cycle. I could not imagine living with emotions that change as often as the weather does!

Cauliflower...thanks for your comment on stress.
In breathing easier today.

None for me