Class of April 2015 Part 6
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 563
Johnny, I'm glad you made it through the day okay. Great job identifying the trigger and riding it out.
Incontrol, glad your day seemed relatively relaxing
Cauliflower, I'm glad you made it through the event. Have you talked to your husband about how much you do or don't want said about your choice to quit drinking? Maybe he doesn't realize that it makes you uncomfortable.
I had a good day. When I was drinking I used to wish the days away, either from feeling like death from a hangover or not being able to wait to get off work to start drinking. Now I feel like I don't have enough time for everything! I went to Starbucks this evening to sit outside and read and people watch, and it was very relaxing. I'm so glad I don't have the alcohol-induced anxiety like I used to on Sundays. Looking forward to the three-day weekend already!
Incontrol, glad your day seemed relatively relaxing
Cauliflower, I'm glad you made it through the event. Have you talked to your husband about how much you do or don't want said about your choice to quit drinking? Maybe he doesn't realize that it makes you uncomfortable.
I had a good day. When I was drinking I used to wish the days away, either from feeling like death from a hangover or not being able to wait to get off work to start drinking. Now I feel like I don't have enough time for everything! I went to Starbucks this evening to sit outside and read and people watch, and it was very relaxing. I'm so glad I don't have the alcohol-induced anxiety like I used to on Sundays. Looking forward to the three-day weekend already!
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
Hey Cauliflower. I know how you feel. Maybe you could mention to your husband that you'd rather keep a low profile? With people I know well, I tend to mention it when the time is right. Not while they're offering me a beer but in some neutral situation just to give them a head's up. People I know less well it's just no thanks and when quizzed (it often surprises me how inquisitive people can be) I say I'm trying to get into shape.
Happy Monday all!
Happy Monday all!
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
10 weeks today for me and feeling pretty good. On Friday I was driving the car and literally concentrating as hard as I could on holding things together. Today I feel great (at least for now!) like I can take anything on. Neither of these feelings are really "where I'm at". Too many peaks and troughs! 70 days feels good though and I survived a tough alcohol fuelled (for everyone else) barbecue on Saturday without cravings or problems (just a little bored -played a lot of football with the kids!).
Happy Monday all! You know it's a fun day!
Happy Monday all! You know it's a fun day!
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 560
Originally Posted by amp123 
10 weeks today for me and feeling pretty good. On Friday I was driving the car and literally concentrating as hard as I could on holding things together. Today I feel great (at least for now!) like I can take anything on. Neither of these feelings are really "where I'm at". Too many peaks and troughs! 70 days feels good though and I survived a tough alcohol fuelled (for everyone else) barbecue on Saturday without cravings or problems (just a little bored -played a lot of football with the kids!).
Happy Monday all! You know it's a fun day!
Happy Monday all! You know it's a fun day!
OMD
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 560
Hi everyone!
Everyone got through the weekend then! I have 2 work events this week which are not going to be easy. I have decided to say that I will be getting up early to go swimming. Why do we have to find excuses? (I know the answer, but it doesn't make it any less annoying.). Something quite big could be going down with my work and I need my sh%t together more than ever. Not that I actually fancy drinking right now, but I know I will because I last thought about drinking.....yesterday. But just slitting the monster's throat each time.
But, for now, I will say that today is a good day. First, and most important, I am sober. Seriously, that is something in itself and I need to congratulate myself a bit more. Second, I've been swimming - badly as usual but that means room for improvement. Johnny I am very jealous sir if you can swim confidently in the ocean. That is my ultimate ambition. Right now I am trying to get it together in a chlorinated stuffy environment with flat water. People look at me like I am useless, doing my beginner drills. But guess what, I am better than last week.
IC loved your post about shopping and CF it sounds like you live in a wonderful part of the world.
Amp I was reading about Mick Flannery and it turns out he was awarded a music prize by his idol Tom Waits. And Amp I meant to thank you for your psychology post about that guy Skinner. I am always ready to read your wisdom so keep it coming!
Anyway, as you can tell I am rushing about this early morning, so sorry for the disjointed thoughts.
Have a truly great day everyone! We rock, truly!
OMD
Everyone got through the weekend then! I have 2 work events this week which are not going to be easy. I have decided to say that I will be getting up early to go swimming. Why do we have to find excuses? (I know the answer, but it doesn't make it any less annoying.). Something quite big could be going down with my work and I need my sh%t together more than ever. Not that I actually fancy drinking right now, but I know I will because I last thought about drinking.....yesterday. But just slitting the monster's throat each time.
But, for now, I will say that today is a good day. First, and most important, I am sober. Seriously, that is something in itself and I need to congratulate myself a bit more. Second, I've been swimming - badly as usual but that means room for improvement
. Johnny I am very jealous sir if you can swim confidently in the ocean. That is my ultimate ambition. Right now I am trying to get it together in a chlorinated stuffy environment with flat water. People look at me like I am useless, doing my beginner drills. But guess what, I am better than last week.IC loved your post about shopping
and CF it sounds like you live in a wonderful part of the world.Amp I was reading about Mick Flannery and it turns out he was awarded a music prize by his idol Tom Waits. And Amp I meant to thank you for your psychology post about that guy Skinner. I am always ready to read your wisdom
so keep it coming!Anyway, as you can tell I am rushing about this early morning, so sorry for the disjointed thoughts.
Have a truly great day everyone! We rock, truly!
OMD
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Up and atom.
I want to improve my commitment this week. I've been falling into some of my old patterns. Money has been a huge issue, so I've been overly stressed, and as a result, I've been avoiding things again. In particular, going to my counselor. I've just been working as much as I can, which is counter productive.
I'm going to journal this morning, which I haven't done in a long time. I'm going to eat 5 small meals today to keep my glucose level. And I'm setting new appointments with my counselor.
I don't want to keep sliding backwards. This is going to be a great week!
None for me today
I want to improve my commitment this week. I've been falling into some of my old patterns. Money has been a huge issue, so I've been overly stressed, and as a result, I've been avoiding things again. In particular, going to my counselor. I've just been working as much as I can, which is counter productive.
I'm going to journal this morning, which I haven't done in a long time. I'm going to eat 5 small meals today to keep my glucose level. And I'm setting new appointments with my counselor.
I don't want to keep sliding backwards. This is going to be a great week!
None for me today
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
Good Morning, up and atom while my son is still sound asleep. Tomorrow, he goes for half a day then he is officially done for the summer.
The feelings I get about people finding out I don't drink are ones of embarrassment and shame. The couple we visited for a while yesterday are casual friends to me, but the guy is a life long friend to my husband. They have a mutual friend who is a severe alcoholic today. They talk about him all the time. The mutual friend is drinking his life away, and it really bothers them, but they can't do anything about it but reminisce about what a great guy he was. It seems he was going places back in the day, he was the one who always had the car, the money, the girls, and he was the smart one (we are going back to their teenaged years here!). So anyway, here is me, the insecure quiet one, who always felt like an idiot for going that route (I mean, I am an alcoholic) and I used to cringe inside every time they talk about said mutual friend. Then yesterday we were making plans for them to come out to the lake for a weekend. The last time they came with a case of red wine, and I think between my him and I (my husband doesn't drink wine, and his wife was pregnant at the time), we drank 6 bottles one night. So anyways, yesterday, they were constantly asking if I wanted some wine. I kept thinking, geesh, that's all they know about me, that I like wine. But anyways, when my husband told them I quit drinking, they seemed surprised, but didn't say much afterwards about it. But I felt like a raging alcoholic with a messed up life, even though I didn't tumble that far yet.
The feelings I get about people finding out I don't drink are ones of embarrassment and shame. The couple we visited for a while yesterday are casual friends to me, but the guy is a life long friend to my husband. They have a mutual friend who is a severe alcoholic today. They talk about him all the time. The mutual friend is drinking his life away, and it really bothers them, but they can't do anything about it but reminisce about what a great guy he was. It seems he was going places back in the day, he was the one who always had the car, the money, the girls, and he was the smart one (we are going back to their teenaged years here!). So anyway, here is me, the insecure quiet one, who always felt like an idiot for going that route (I mean, I am an alcoholic) and I used to cringe inside every time they talk about said mutual friend. Then yesterday we were making plans for them to come out to the lake for a weekend. The last time they came with a case of red wine, and I think between my him and I (my husband doesn't drink wine, and his wife was pregnant at the time), we drank 6 bottles one night. So anyways, yesterday, they were constantly asking if I wanted some wine. I kept thinking, geesh, that's all they know about me, that I like wine. But anyways, when my husband told them I quit drinking, they seemed surprised, but didn't say much afterwards about it. But I felt like a raging alcoholic with a messed up life, even though I didn't tumble that far yet.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Hi guys. Do you think these peaks and valleys, the 'super high stressed out manic feeling' followed by the exhaustion is simply because I am not drinking? That would seem to be the simplest explanation, instead of looking all over for some extreme cause.
I've been blaming things on everything except booze and that is quite possibly what I'm doing now.
I've got a very uneasy feeling today and I did not take the medication, which should be worn off by now. I mentioned coffee before and I never bothered to quit. Why would I do that when it sends me flying, even in minute amounts?
I've been blaming things on everything except booze and that is quite possibly what I'm doing now.
I've got a very uneasy feeling today and I did not take the medication, which should be worn off by now. I mentioned coffee before and I never bothered to quit. Why would I do that when it sends me flying, even in minute amounts?
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Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 560
Originally Posted by johnny555
Hi guys. Do you think these peaks and valleys, the 'super high stressed out manic feeling' followed by the exhaustion is simply because I am not drinking? That would seem to be the simplest explanation, instead of looking all over for some extreme cause.
I've been blaming things on everything except booze and that is quite possibly what I'm doing now.
I've got a very uneasy feeling today and I did not take the medication, which should be worn off by now. I mentioned coffee before and I never bothered to quit. Why would I do that when it sends me flying, even in minute amounts?
I've been blaming things on everything except booze and that is quite possibly what I'm doing now.
I've got a very uneasy feeling today and I did not take the medication, which should be worn off by now. I mentioned coffee before and I never bothered to quit. Why would I do that when it sends me flying, even in minute amounts?
OMD
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
I'm getting closer to attempting no meds, but in the winter I will die if I have nothing. The worst Seasonal Depression in US history, I have.
I made it today. Just thinking about drinking and ready to go out the door. All set and forgot something I'm the apartment and went back in. My friend called. I did not pick up. The I just layed in bed. That seems to be the key. That's what I did yesterday. I'm at Whole Foods again about to spend the booze money in food.
I called the Doctor I was recommended for a med evaluation and he is $550 for the first busy and $350 after that. So forget that. Plus he might want to do the testing that my doc wants to do. So that's like $2000 in a couple if months. No.
People here are rich. RICH. Anyway he gave some names of other people. No clue what they charge. 55% of psychiatrists are cash only now. And why not if you can get 1 million a year??
I made it today. Just thinking about drinking and ready to go out the door. All set and forgot something I'm the apartment and went back in. My friend called. I did not pick up. The I just layed in bed. That seems to be the key. That's what I did yesterday. I'm at Whole Foods again about to spend the booze money in food.
I called the Doctor I was recommended for a med evaluation and he is $550 for the first busy and $350 after that. So forget that. Plus he might want to do the testing that my doc wants to do. So that's like $2000 in a couple if months. No.
People here are rich. RICH. Anyway he gave some names of other people. No clue what they charge. 55% of psychiatrists are cash only now. And why not if you can get 1 million a year??
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 2,004
I do know that mood swings are commonly associated with the early days and months of sobriety. I'm much like OMD in this regard. I started today really up and atom but tailed off and was grumpy as anything by lunchtime (was really stroppy when the kids moaned about my substandard spaghetti bolagnase). This afternoon in contrast has been fairly good and despite a stressful shopping trip I got home fairly up.
I sometimes wonder if everyone's like this or if it's only some of us that get buffeted around in an emotional whirlwind. I was reading up and n PAWS (protracted withdrawal syndrome) which has led me to strongly suspect there is a relationship between this emotional rollercoaster and the road to sobriety but it's hard to say. When I used to drink my emotional compass was a bit of a mess too...but I put that down to being drunk!
Anyway, it still feels like that marathon...sometimes it's downhill with a following wind and other times head down into the gale. I wonder what we'll get tomorrow?!?!?!
I sometimes wonder if everyone's like this or if it's only some of us that get buffeted around in an emotional whirlwind. I was reading up and n PAWS (protracted withdrawal syndrome) which has led me to strongly suspect there is a relationship between this emotional rollercoaster and the road to sobriety but it's hard to say. When I used to drink my emotional compass was a bit of a mess too...but I put that down to being drunk!
Anyway, it still feels like that marathon...sometimes it's downhill with a following wind and other times head down into the gale. I wonder what we'll get tomorrow?!?!?!
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
It's a med thing. I hate this junk.
Anyway, a steak and potato. Plus the fatty brand of the coconut milk mint chip ice cream. My friend came with me so I bought her a sushi thing for calling to see if I was ok at 4pm. Nothing compared to $45 in booze and crap food. We are looking for movies.
Anyway, a steak and potato. Plus the fatty brand of the coconut milk mint chip ice cream. My friend came with me so I bought her a sushi thing for calling to see if I was ok at 4pm. Nothing compared to $45 in booze and crap food. We are looking for movies.
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Sorry about all those misspellings. Typing on the go, on the phone doesn't work out for me.
It's curious to me that I did it today. I feel better, slowly but surely, with the ups and downs. I have really started to notice some pains here and there. Probably muscles getting adjusted. I have a lot of tight tendons and things. A massage would be amazing right now, or 2 times a week ideally. I can't pay for that.
OMD, I hear you. I should really be eating 5 meals a day with the proper things in each meal. And go through the process of healing my gut for 3 months. Plus upping the game with psychiatry and therapy.
I absolutely hate to pay all of the money required for a new psych person. I think someone new could just notice something or think of something else. Or I can go rogue and drop traditional medicine....
Ok, time for bed. I've got back to that 8am to 12am schedule.
That duck makes me think of a movie, I'm sure you cannot guess it: 'Hey Duck Man, gimmy two ducks man!' Who is Duck Man? What's the movie? Hint, it stars David Bowie, Willem Dafoe, Benecio Del Toro, Dennis Hopper, Gary Oldman, Parker Posey, plus the unknown star of the film. Any takers? Boozer you awake yet lagger? Anyone here know films?
It's curious to me that I did it today. I feel better, slowly but surely, with the ups and downs. I have really started to notice some pains here and there. Probably muscles getting adjusted. I have a lot of tight tendons and things. A massage would be amazing right now, or 2 times a week ideally. I can't pay for that.
OMD, I hear you. I should really be eating 5 meals a day with the proper things in each meal. And go through the process of healing my gut for 3 months. Plus upping the game with psychiatry and therapy.
I absolutely hate to pay all of the money required for a new psych person. I think someone new could just notice something or think of something else. Or I can go rogue and drop traditional medicine....
Ok, time for bed. I've got back to that 8am to 12am schedule.
That duck makes me think of a movie, I'm sure you cannot guess it: 'Hey Duck Man, gimmy two ducks man!' Who is Duck Man? What's the movie? Hint, it stars David Bowie, Willem Dafoe, Benecio Del Toro, Dennis Hopper, Gary Oldman, Parker Posey, plus the unknown star of the film. Any takers? Boozer you awake yet lagger? Anyone here know films?
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Morning all,
Just checking in. None for me today, and been swimming
Johnny - foam roller. Cheaper than a single massage, buy a good one it will last forever and learn to use it properly (loads of YouTube videos). Use mine literally every day. Combine this with some simple mobility/strength exercises, flatish shoes and kiss your aches goodbye
OMD
Just checking in. None for me today, and been swimming
Johnny - foam roller. Cheaper than a single massage, buy a good one it will last forever and learn to use it properly (loads of YouTube videos). Use mine literally every day. Combine this with some simple mobility/strength exercises, flatish shoes and kiss your aches goodbye
OMD
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
Up and Atom
So last evening I found myself staring too long at a vat of homemade wine...they had a selection, red and white.
I came so close to giving in just to not appear rude.
Someone spent time and effort to make it, it's a shame to hurt their feelings...just a taste...just a sip to give them the thumbs up or thumbs down...I was trance like. I still wonder how long I stared at those stupid things.
I went through the mental dialogue, then decided to take my son to play some darts off in the distance. I had to get away from the wine thingies. Once they were out of sight, the urge went away.
I didn`t think about it again until this morning.
That Was Scary! I am still so fragile. WOW
Anyway, day 70!!!!! Thanks GOD! or my HP or the Universe, or all 3, but I am grateful for my sobriety today.
So last evening I found myself staring too long at a vat of homemade wine...they had a selection, red and white.
I came so close to giving in just to not appear rude.
Someone spent time and effort to make it, it's a shame to hurt their feelings...just a taste...just a sip to give them the thumbs up or thumbs down...I was trance like. I still wonder how long I stared at those stupid things.
I went through the mental dialogue, then decided to take my son to play some darts off in the distance. I had to get away from the wine thingies. Once they were out of sight, the urge went away.
I didn`t think about it again until this morning.
That Was Scary! I am still so fragile. WOW
Anyway, day 70!!!!! Thanks GOD! or my HP or the Universe, or all 3, but I am grateful for my sobriety today.
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Canada
Posts: 691
Originally Posted by OMD
Morning all,
Just checking in. None for me today, and been swimming
Johnny - foam roller. Cheaper than a single massage, buy a good one it will last forever and learn to use it properly (loads of YouTube videos). Use mine literally every day. Combine this with some simple mobility/strength exercises, flatish shoes and kiss your aches goodbye
OMD
Just checking in. None for me today, and been swimming
Johnny - foam roller. Cheaper than a single massage, buy a good one it will last forever and learn to use it properly (loads of YouTube videos). Use mine literally every day. Combine this with some simple mobility/strength exercises, flatish shoes and kiss your aches goodbye
OMD
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