ZaBoozer

Ta DLS, much appreciated. I hate to break it to you - but I don't look like Will Farrell at all. The thought might have been an accurate one a while back - I would have been propping up the bar.

Congratulations on day five. Sounds like you're doing great.

ZaBoozer

Good morning all,

Well today is the start of day fifty nine. The sun is out. It is still freezing, but at least it is not all doom and gloom. I am remembering now how depressing Europe was in winter and why I spent all my time there drowning my sorrows. No offence to anyone, but if you are used to the sun - overcast weather can be downright miserable and depressing. Well to the business end.

Physically I am good. I slept well. In fact I slept so well I did not want to get out of bed. Sleep continues to come easily. I don't remember this ever happening when I was drinking. Sure, I could pass out, but that is not the same thing. Surprise - no headache this morning. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I have cut back a lot on my smoking. I also don't drink any caffeine at home. I am starved this morning - not sure why.

Mentally I am fine. My mind is in a lot better place than yesterday. The weather really has a lot do to with it at this stage. Dark, gloomy weather is just not for me right now. I don't have much work that I know of today - I am not complaining.

Emotionally I am fair. As those of you who have been following this thread know - my wife and I are separated and are not really on speaking terms. Her decision. She needed to find herself. You may have noticed that I have not been so cheerful lately - well I am only human. It is her birthday today, and this has been weighing down heavily on me. Do I contact her? Do I just leave it? What to do. In the end, I just sent her a message. With the mood swings, you can imagine that my sense of humour is sometimes dour. If I do offend or I am not always on form, I apologise.

Well it is bitterly cold outside. Not so at home. Unfortunately I have to be at work. Trust me, if I could do this from home - I would.

Time for coffee and one of those savoury pie things, I reckon. A treat to me from me.

Be safe and be strong.

Cheers,

ZAB

Dee74

sorry that today is a little rough ZaB - congrats on the approaching 60 days tho

D

ZaBoozer

Ta Dee. It happens - Forrest Gump.

amp123

Hey Zab!

Just stumbled into your thread! Thinking about your stats. I would readjust the variable a bit. Maybe say that people who only posted once or twice or didn't appear for more than a few days shouldn't be included as maybe they weren't ready to embrace sobriety yet and hence not "serious contenders". If you were to compile a stat based on serious contenders I'm sure it would read much better

ZaBoozer

Hi amp,

I hear you, I was not looking for a 100% figure, just a rough benchmark. That is why I took the 1/3 as the best case. I did go through all the posts up and until I posted. I also looked at the previous class etc. Whether someone posted once or twice was not relevant, the person had posted their intention. Whether they were committed or not is neither here nor there to me.

That being said, I don't think it was a good thing to post. I intended it as an eye opener. Something to make a new person strive not to be part of that statistic. Unfortunately, I now read it as something de-motivational. Quite the opposite of what I intended and as such I have no intention of revisiting and compiling an actual statistic although I don't think it will be too much different from my guestimate.

Thanks for the input though, much appreciated.

Cheers,

ZAB

amp123

No worries Zab. I found it quite interesting and in a way good to feel like we were beating the odds. Worked for me

ZaBoozer

I hear you amp, but I think we are now going to hit the mother of all mothers test. From what I have read it has to do with multiples of three. So the 60-90 day window is just around the corner and I am wondering what the heck I am going to be facing.

Cauliflower

Try no to dwell on it too much my friend, it will drive you bonkers! Like I said, we must never stop learning. It is a good thing to be aware of the possible difficult days ahead so that we can prepare now. I say possible, because with a little work, faith, strength, or knowledge, the difficult days will just flow through us and we will keep on keeping on. Thousands, if not millions have made it, so can we!

ZaBoozer

Ta Cauliflower, much appreciated. It is just a little scary reading some of the posts. But I will use my cowards way out - I will not drink now, I will not drink today. Baby steps.

We will pull through and keep on keeping on together with our class mates and all the others.

ZaBoozer

Good evening all,

Day fifty nine is done and dusted. The weather here has been utterly freezing. Although the sun was out, we had the typical Highveld wind - it is like something from the arctic that just goes right through you. What a pleasure to be home in front of the fire with the cats as I type this. Business first.

Physically I am great. No sign of the headache. I am hoping that this symptom is done and dusted. It is the last of the withdrawal that I have. I am a little tired. That is to be expected as I switched the lights off quite late last night. I like to read until I drop the iPad before I switch the lights off. I had a good appetite today.

Mentally I am good. I did not have much work to do today and I was almost the only person in the office besides some secretaries and such. Everyone else seems to be off with flu. So most of my day was spent entertaining the HR lady (my smoking buddy). Her husband is going to do the extra kitchen cupboards that I require. We went through the last of the things together (kitchen counter top colours etc.). I even got the GB and EB's opinion. What can I say - don't argue with women.

Emotionally, the day turned out ok. I thought it would be worse. Yes I did have moments, but all these ladies managed to rally around and keep me quite entertained. If ever you need to argue in circles - get a few different women's opinions on colour scheme. Then sit back and watch them convince each other to convince you what you already knew. Entertaining to say the least.

Well the FIFA scandal is still going on. This thing seems to be getting bigger every day. We have the usual goings on of a circus in our parliament. It is wage negotiation time here in SA so the mass actions and work stay away season will be getting underway shortly. I am not sure how much longer this farce can go on.

My cats have reached a new level of "catness". They do not even come and greet me when I get home anymore. They lie on the bed in front of the fire and wait for me to come and greet them. If I manage to come back in another life - I want to be them and they can be me. What a life.

Well the radio (talk show) is only revolving about this FIFA thing. While it is interesting to hear the listeners view points, it is getting a bit too much now.

I unpacked my Nespresso machine today. I bought it a few years back, but we didn't really use it. What a mistake. I have perfected the art of the cappuccino. The right creaminess with the correct amount of foam and just the perfect sprinkle of cinnamon. I have had three already this evening. I am going to make my fourth one now - last one for the evening. This stuff is addictive.

Be safe and be strong.

Cheers,

ZAB

amp123

Well Zab, we may have to lean on each other quite hard over the next few weeks as you say. 60-90 days will hit me at the start of my holidays. Either way, I'm doing pretty well this week and just concentrating on the present. May never happen after all...

ZaBoozer

I hear you amp, may never happen - but best not to go in blind. I think you may have it harder than me with holidays. Maybe a plan to keep busy? Mine is to keep very busy with house renovations and work.

Good to hear you're doing well mate - keep on keeping on.

Dee74

I'd just like to lob in here and say that nothing was ever as hard as my first 30 days.

A lot of people do fall away, but a lot of people do not as well.

Relapse is not inevitable by any means.
If you're willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober, you will

D

ZaBoozer

Ta Dee, that does sound re-assuring. I am just wary with walking into the next phase with my "eyes wide shut".

ZaBoozer

Good morning all,

Day sixty starts and it is freezing. 2°C or 35°F this morning on the car temperature indicator. This is definitely one of those days I could have done with working from home. Business first.

Physically I am great. I did battle to fall asleep last night. The RLS was stuffing me around. I think that it was probably all the cappuccinos that I drank. I will have to monitor this and stop my intake long before bed time. There was no sign of the headache this morning. So there are small blessings.

Mentally I am fine. I have a bit of work to do today. This should not take too long. I am looking forward to finishing of the patio tiling. I just hope that it will be a little warmer than this. No chance according to the weatherman.

Emotionally I am good. Baby steps.

I really didn't want to leave the house this morning. The fire keeps the house nicely heated. I think this is one of the best investments I have made to the house so far. At least I will be close to it this weekend.

I don't have any plans for the weekend, except to finish the outside tiling on the patio. I am then going to start on the inside. I am going to take out all the tile skirting that the builders did. Unfortunately they did not work neat enough for me. Besides, I want to change the colour scheme of the skirting. This should keep me busy for a little while still. Hopefully next weekend the kitchen counter people can come and do their magic.

Things are slowly coming together with the house renovations. As usual they all culminate together. I am not complaining. I need to get the last bits and pieces done so that I can start on the garden. Unfortunately this has been neglected for a while now.

Well, time to get a coffee and have a smoke.

Be safe and be strong.

Cheers,

ZAB

tgirl

Hi ZAB! freezing here in Jhb not so.... just stumbled across your 'diary', will try to pop in each day to say "Hi" and keep plodding along. Thats how I did it, just one day at a time and I'm coming up on 2 years soon.
It gets a lot better sleep wise, mentally and physically. and the old AV just fades away......
Yeah, keep the pecker up

ZaBoozer

Hey there T, it is horrible. Was 4 in Fourways when I left and is 2 here in the JHB CBD. The blasted weatherman reckons that it is going to get worse the weekend.

Well done on you sobriety time.

I will do my best thanks, I really cant stop laughing as I type this.

ZaBoozer

Good evening all,

Day sixty is done and dusted. I am lying here with the cats in front of the fire. Nice and cosy. Business first.

Physically I am tired. I hope I drop of easily tonight. I really don't want a replay from last night. No sign of a headache. All good.

Mentally I am great. I didn't do any work today - power was out so I just went home. I have been catching up on a TV series from my teens - a local drama. Very entertaining.

Emotionally I am as good as I can be under the circumstances.

I spent the day perfecting all the different coffees I can make with the Nespresso machine. I can do late', cappuccino, macchiato. And yes I have been drinking them all. After all, I have to know what they taste like.

I have shaped two out of the last three tiles for the patio. I will do the last one tomorrow and lay them. I will be able to finish the grouting by lunch. That will finally complete the patio.

I am going to have a final late' and watch some mindless movie on the television.

Be safe and be strong.

Cheers,

ZAB

Dee74

Congratulations on day 60 ZaB

D