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Class of April 2015 Part 5

Old 06-03-2015, 10:51 AM
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Lots of good posts this morning. I try to make a point to commit myself to being sober on a daily basis. I haven't heard much from my AV lately, and I think it may be because I'm not giving it the time of day. There is just absolutely no way that I will drink again - it's messed up my life enough and I'm done with alcohol.
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Old 06-03-2015, 11:07 AM
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Sounds like a good plan SK. Looking good there - keep on keeping on.
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Old 06-03-2015, 12:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
sometimes the 60-90 day period can be tricky OMD.

Some find it's just long enough for us to forget the bad stuff, or forget the impact of our drinking.

A lot of people find themselves confusing abstinence for control.

others swear that lunar cycles come into play or that anniversaries simply make them jumpy.

Whatever the reason, you can definitely power through this uncertainty & stay sober.
Keep reaching out here - as you know, it really helps

D
Thanks D, I appreciate your thoughts. What do you mean by confusing abstinence with control? Sorry to be dim.

Thanks
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Old 06-03-2015, 12:59 PM
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I've been thinking about that. I think she means that it's easy to believe that if you can abstain then you can also moderate.

In our heart of hearts we know the truth but AV plays that card to death...
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Old 06-03-2015, 01:02 PM
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Thank you all so much you for the wonderful support! . I'm so happy that I didn't drink. I can't let things get to me like that. My sobriety means everything to me and I can't/won't let it go. I'm at work now and thankfully they let us listen to our headphones so I'm listening to some good podcasts. I'll check back in later this evening. Thank you again.
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Old 06-03-2015, 01:25 PM
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Originally Posted by amp123 View Post
I've been thinking about that. I think she means that it's easy to believe that if you can abstain then you can also moderate.

In our heart of hearts we know the truth but AV plays that card to death...
Sorry to break it to you amp, but Dee is a he.

And I think you have hit it spot on with your analogy of what he is saying
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Old 06-03-2015, 01:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Angie247 View Post
Thank you all so much you for the wonderful support! . I'm so happy that I didn't drink. I can't let things get to me like that. My sobriety means everything to me and I can't/won't let it go. I'm at work now and thankfully they let us listen to our headphones so I'm listening to some good podcasts. I'll check back in later this evening. Thank you again.
Well done Angie, have a great day.
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Old 06-03-2015, 01:34 PM
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Hi all,
None for me today

I always feel like I take more than I give to this class. So since some are giving up smoking and others are looking to self-improve I thought I'd share my own experience for what it's worth, since I am far more experienced in not smoking than I am in not drinking (8 weeks, which is my longest by 7 weeks, in 25 years).

On 4 July this year it will be 16 years since I had a cigarette. Until my last cigarette on that day I was smoking at least 2 packs a day, and had been for many years. I never, ever, want a cigarette or think about smoking in any positive or nostalgic way, and know for a fact that I will never smoke again. This is not a smug or naive comment but a fact because after all this time I am able to see smoking for what it was and what I had done to myself. By the way, please believe me that until I stopped I could not imagine not smoking because I was a smoker, a smoker's smoker in fact, and the whole ritual of smoking was part of who I was, I thought. Anyway, I mention this only because I want to say from direct experience that one day, I don't know when, you will wake up and you will truly understand what you have given up and what it is to be free and you may literally have tears in your eyes, I did. It may be the first day, or later, who knows. But that day is waiting and it is fabulous!

On to self improvement. Before I stopped smoking I did no physical exercise ever and when I stopped smoking that didn't change for quite a long time. Then one day I just felt like exercising and bought a bicycle, much to the amusement of my still-smoking friends. As you give your poor body the chance to recover from all the smoke you have poured into it, it will at some stage want to do what's completely natural, what we're genetically set up to do, which is to exercise. But, I didn't feel that way immediately or push myself to do this, it just came naturally. Exercise is now a vital part of my life where it was totally absent before (it's also a reason I kidded myself that my drinking could be worse, but that's a different story for another day). So I suppose what I'm saying is that my experience suggests that sometimes it's ok to do one thing at a time, and that good things will flow from stopping bad things. Don't try to do anything that you don't really want to, too soon. If it doesn't feel right it might not be time, and don't give yourself a hard time about that.

This might all be a load of rubbish but if anyone finds it useful then it was worth it!

Good luck

OMD
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Old 06-03-2015, 01:37 PM
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Originally Posted by OMD View Post
Hi all,
None for me today

I always feel like I take more than I give to this class. So since some are giving up smoking and others are looking to self-improve I thought I'd share my own experience for what it's worth, since I am far more experienced in not smoking than I am in not drinking (8 weeks, which is my longest by 7 weeks, in 25 years).

On 4 July this year it will be 16 years since I had a cigarette. Until my last cigarette on that day I was smoking at least 2 packs a day, and had been for many years. I never, ever, want a cigarette or think about smoking in any positive or nostalgic way, and know for a fact that I will never smoke again. This is not a smug or naive comment but a fact because after all this time I am able to see smoking for what it was and what I had done to myself. By the way, please believe me that until I stopped I could not imagine not smoking because I was a smoker, a smoker's smoker in fact, and the whole ritual of smoking was part of who I was, I thought. Anyway, I mention this only because I want to say from direct experience that one day, I don't know when, you will wake up and you will truly understand what you have given up and what it is to be free and you may literally have tears in your eyes, I did. It may be the first day, or later, who knows. But that day is waiting and it is fabulous!

On to self improvement. Before I stopped smoking I did no physical exercise ever and when I stopped smoking that didn't change for quite a long time. Then one day I just felt like exercising and bought a bicycle, much to the amusement of my still-smoking friends. As you give your poor body the chance to recover from all the smoke you have poured into it, it will at some stage want to do what's completely natural, what we're genetically set up to do, which is to exercise. But, I didn't feel that way immediately or push myself to do this, it just came naturally. Exercise is now a vital part of my life where it was totally absent before (it's also a reason I kidded myself that my drinking could be worse, but that's a different story for another day). So I suppose what I'm saying is that my experience suggests that sometimes it's ok to do one thing at a time, and that good things will flow from stopping bad things. Don't try to do anything that you don't really want to, too soon. If it doesn't feel right it might not be time, and don't give yourself a hard time about that.

This might all be a load of rubbish but if anyone finds it useful then it was worth it!

Good luck

OMD
Not rubbish at all OMD, very insightful. Thanks.
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Old 06-03-2015, 01:44 PM
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Wow! OMD, your life and mine are totally on the same timeline. I too drunk for 25 years or so with very little respite and all of that in the last couple of years. I also gave up smoking (18 years ago for me) and now never entertain the idea of, or feel like having a cigarette. I will never smoke again either. I also took up exercise (in the last 5 years mainly) and dwelled under the illusion that it compensated for the drinking (running hung over? Some penance!).

Interesting to find my carbon copy here on SR!!! Hahaha!

Angie! Congratulation! We go forward together!
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Old 06-03-2015, 02:03 PM
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Originally Posted by amp123 View Post
Wow! OMD, your life and mine are totally on the same timeline. I too drunk for 25 years or so with very little respite and all of that in the last couple of years. I also gave up smoking (18 years ago for me) and now never entertain the idea of, or feel like having a cigarette. I will never smoke again either. I also took up exercise (in the last 5 years mainly) and dwelled under the illusion that it compensated for the drinking (running hung over? Some penance!).

Interesting to find my carbon copy here on SR!!! Hahaha!

Angie! Congratulation! We go forward together!
Yeah that is a bit weird
Maybe I'll just stop posting now and you can post for both of us. You even know the pain of hungover running.

OMD
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Old 06-03-2015, 02:29 PM
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We could take it in turns. Shift posting...
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Old 06-03-2015, 03:30 PM
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Good day for me on the front of anxiety.
I suffer anxiety mostly because I look at all the possible outcomes then I get hung up on the worst case scenarios. Mostly on the issues that mostly have not so great outcomes. I never realized I did that actually until my therapist pointed it out. I always saw myself as a half glass full kinda person.

Well today I had a potentially devastating event that caused a metric arse ton of anxiety. Well I was able to dig further and learned that it's not as horrible as I thought it could be.

Before I would avoid the issue. I'm waaaay over that. I've been avoiding problems for the past two years and now I have a steamy mess because of it. Avoidance blows. No more for me.

Today I charged head on and eliminated a bunch of anxiety. Just like that. Boom! Afterwards it was enlightening for me. I suddenly recognized that I was worried about the worst case scenario and was experiencing a good amount of anxiety as a result. All for nothing really. Well...could of been if I didn't charge right in and address it.

Either way...good day for me. Enlightening.
I am healing.
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Old 06-03-2015, 04:08 PM
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That's awesome Inc! Not the anxiety, but being able to deal with it in a healthy way. I feel a load lifted lately when I deal with issues right away. Less self made anxiety that's for sure. It's a lot easier dealing with what life throws at me now that I am not drunk or hung over!

Don't worry Amp, it took me a while to realize that Dee was a he! Hope you are not too traumatized! heehee

OMG, OMD, I cannot wait to feel like I will never smoke again. It's a lot like drinking though isn't it? Not drinking is my number one right now. I know I am not exercising the way I should be because of the smoking. It really sucks.

Well, homemade sloppy joes for dinner tonight and then I think I will go for a long smokeless walk with the smelly dog tonight.
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Old 06-03-2015, 04:15 PM
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Originally Posted by canguy View Post
Yeah, well I drank at the 2 month mark. Climbing back on the wagon, but I guess that I've forfeited my place here.

Frankly I wish that I found SR as supportive as many others obviously do. The time difference has been an issue for me. The time of the day I need some contact it is usually deserted.

I'll keep going though.....may look for a class where there are members in my time zone. Had a month in January, a couple more through April and May. This is best I've had in three years.

Anyway....getting these three months have been incredibly valuable. I've been able to generate some new habits and daily patterns that alcohol is not part of.

Part of the problem is not having a long term view or plan. It has just seemed too hard or unrealistic, I've just been day by day, week by week. Thinking this over carefully now.

So, I wish you remaining guys all the best for your continuing success.
There's no forfeiting of places canguy

If you ever feel you need support and noone else is around in this thread, you're welcome to take a look around the Under One Year thread (it's here in the daily support forum too).

You're always very welcome to start your own thread in the main forum too


Originally Posted by OMD View Post
Thanks D, I appreciate your thoughts. What do you mean by confusing abstinence with control? Sorry to be dim.

Thanks
OMD
Originally Posted by amp123 View Post
I've been thinking about that. I think she means that it's easy to believe that if you can abstain then you can also moderate.

In our heart of hearts we know the truth but AV plays that card to death...
Definitely a He, lol.

I did it lots of times - I thought that staying sober meant that alcohol no longer had that hold of me, and that I had control.

Seeing as I had that control, I could have the odd drink here and there like other normal people do...

I don't have to tell you how that worked out.

It took me 20 years of doing those mental gymnastics before I finally worked out abstinence does not equal control

I haven't drank now for 8 years but I know if I start again I'd be back in that same old place, if not worse.

D
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Old 06-04-2015, 02:58 AM
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Hmmm... He...she... I think there is something ambiguous about Corky the Cat!

Anyway! Speaking of cartoon characters, I'm really "up and atom" in the last few days! I've run 30km already this week but at a more relaxed pace than I used to. While I was drinking I used to need to get my mission head on to get anything done and flew at everything hammer and tongs. These days I'm more chill about stuff... Don't need to be proving to everyone (especially me!!!) that I'm ok?? I've also lost 4 kilos in weight (around 9lb) and that feels GOOD!! I really didn't realize how STRESSFUL being a drunk was! Funny. Used to think drinking relaxed me...

Giving thanks for every day (even though I'm an atheist I still feel very thankful!!!) Have a good one guys!
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Old 06-04-2015, 04:13 AM
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LOL That's Felix the cat, amp....
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Old 06-04-2015, 04:26 AM
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Man, I really can't get this cat thing right!!!
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Old 06-04-2015, 04:37 AM
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Evening and thankyou to you all for your acceptance. Means a lot.

amp: I'll hang in here and keep connected.

Martina: yes I remember you from early in the year.....you're doing great

incontrol: have thought a lot about your comment re a bender meaning back to Day 1. Have decided that if I get back on
now then its not all lost. Give up for a couple of months then it is.

.....and thanks Dee, as ever.

So.....back and keep going. Three day weekend coming up so its a good time to commit again.
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Old 06-04-2015, 05:14 AM
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Canguy! Great to have you back, mate!
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